Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?

In article , Nan says...

On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 01:19:51 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Banty wrote in
:

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)
anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to
ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district
developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went
into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a
private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT
suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he
could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time
because there aren't other kids around.
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake
coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally
immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) &
overly attached to me.
he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his
tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at
pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the
window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was
sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to
play that game).
so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed
preschool & i thought they were crazy.
lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly attached to mom,
IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo, he sounds so happy. I'm glad
you thumbed your nose at the agency.

That's worrisome.

My son had speech therapy as a pre-schooler. It was supplied by the school
district.

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit from social workers.
That went OK, but one item that concerned me is that they tested my son, showing
him pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for how he pronounces
words. One picture was of a handgun. He didn't know what that was.

At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good
that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no".
But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we
were a hunting family?

Banty

On Dec 6, 7:19 pm, enigma wrote:
Banty wrote :

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)

Interesting. I've just called to set up an evaluation with ECI. DD is
behind in gross motor development and speech (still within normal
range, but just barely). I'm not sure yet if she'll qualify for
therapy. Everyone I've heard from raves about the program. I figured a
little therapy wouldn't hurt.

However I'm a little nervous that when they come over and see our
house in various states of renovation (it's safe but has some major
issues), they're going to freak...

Anyway - why was therapy so bad for him, other than the fallout of the
preschool situation?

"Stephanie" wrote in
:

"enigma" wrote in message
. ..
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to
play the intake coordinators games made them decide to
label him emotionally immature (show me an emotionally
mature 2year7 month old) & overly attached to me.

How the frick can a 2yo be "overly" attached to his
MOTHER!??!!!???

i have no idea. i really think that the fact that both of us
are home full time & spent lots of time with the baby really
threw them.
it probably didn't help that he's *very* slow to warm up to
strangers & he's fairly shy. he prefers to observe before he
gets involved. they were pushing him pretty hard to perform on
demand & he just wasn't interested in what they were trying to
get him to do. i pointed out that if they would talk to him
about *his* interests (tractors & chickens) they would get
better response. so, i'm overly involved.

the DD preschool was a dismal hole, dark, damp, smelled of
mildew & mothballs, had a lot of dirty broken toys & expected
3 year olds to sit at desks & do worksheets for 15-20 minutes
at a time. as far as continuing his therapies, they were only
going to do speech one half hour per week in a group, & while
they verbally said he needed to continue PT, they were not
going to offer it & if i wanted it, i could get it privately
(we do not have health insurance). i don't know about anyone
else, but that didn't seem like anywhere i wanted my kid to
attend.
the Montessori preschool seemed like a good fit & the staff
was willing to spend extra one on one time helping him with
fine motor tasks & speech, so while sending him to preschool
at 3 wasn't my idea, it certainly wasn't bad for him, &
certainly better than a drawn out court case with CPS...
lee

Nan wrote in
:

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly
attached to mom, IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo,
he sounds so happy. I'm glad you thumbed your nose at the
agency.

yeah, he's a cheery little guy. he's doing better on the
shyness front. he tells us that he wants us to get lost so he
can talk to the eye doctor, because he can do it easier if
we're not in the room (IOW, he knows he uses us as a crutch
for being shy). he's pretty smart.
lee

On 7 Dec 2007 06:03:39 -0800, Banty wrote:

In article , Nan says...

On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 01:19:51 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Banty wrote in
:

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)
anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to
ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district
developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went
into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a
private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT
suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he
could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time
because there aren't other kids around.
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake
coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally
immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) &
overly attached to me.
he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his
tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at
pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the
window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was
sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to
play that game).
so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed
preschool & i thought they were crazy.
lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly attached to mom,
IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo, he sounds so happy. I'm glad
you thumbed your nose at the agency.

That's worrisome.

My son had speech therapy as a pre-schooler. It was supplied by the school
district.

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit from social workers.
That went OK, but one item that concerned me is that they tested my son, showing
him pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for how he pronounces
words. One picture was of a handgun. He didn't know what that was.

At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good
that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no".
But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we
were a hunting family?

My youngest had gross motor delays and had PT through First Steps,
which is Indiana's EI team. We both loved it, and when she turned 3 I
was asked if I wanted her referred to the school system. We had an
evaluation and she wasn't delayed enough to get into their program
(Thank goodness, we'd been working a lot with her motor skills) and I
didn't have an issue with the case worker, but she did seem
over-worked.

Nan

On Dec 7, 8:03 am, Banty wrote:
In article , Nan says...







On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 01:19:51 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Banty wrote in
:

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)
anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to
ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district
developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went
into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a
private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT
suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he
could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time
because there aren't other kids around.
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake
coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally
immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) &
overly attached to me.
he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his
tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at
pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the
window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was
sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to
play that game).
so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed
preschool & i thought they were crazy.
lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly attached to mom,
IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo, he sounds so happy. I'm glad
you thumbed your nose at the agency.

That's worrisome.

My son had speech therapy as a pre-schooler. It was supplied by the school
district.

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit from social workers.
That went OK, but one item that concerned me is that they tested my son, showing
him pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for how he pronounces
words. One picture was of a handgun. He didn't know what that was.

Wow. I think I would be hugely bothered by that. It just seems
unnecessary.


At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good
that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no".
But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we
were a hunting family?

I could be they were trying to evaluate whether or not they should be
concerned for the child's safety, since a lot of gun related injuries/
deaths are due to home accidents. However, it seems something well
outside their scope and not really appropriate.

On Dec 7, 8:41 am, Nan wrote:
On 7 Dec 2007 06:03:39 -0800, Banty wrote:





In article , Nan says...

On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 01:19:51 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Banty wrote in
:

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)
anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to
ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district
developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went
into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a
private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT
suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he
could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time
because there aren't other kids around.
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake
coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally
immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) &
overly attached to me.
he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his
tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at
pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the
window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was
sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to
play that game).
so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed
preschool & i thought they were crazy.
lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly attached to mom,
IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo, he sounds so happy. I'm glad
you thumbed your nose at the agency.

That's worrisome.

My son had speech therapy as a pre-schooler. It was supplied by the school
district.

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit from social workers.
That went OK, but one item that concerned me is that they tested my son, showing
him pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for how he pronounces
words. One picture was of a handgun. He didn't know what that was.

At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good
that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no".
But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we
were a hunting family?

My youngest had gross motor delays and had PT through First Steps,
which is Indiana's EI team. We both loved it, and when she turned 3 I
was asked if I wanted her referred to the school system. We had an
evaluation and she wasn't delayed enough to get into their program
(Thank goodness, we'd been working a lot with her motor skills) and I
didn't have an issue with the case worker, but she did seem
over-worked.

This makes me feel better, since we're having our evaluation next week!

In article ,
cjra says...

On Dec 7, 8:03 am, Banty wrote:
In article , Nan says...







On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 01:19:51 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Banty wrote in
:

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)
anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to
ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district
developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went
into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a
private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT
suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he
could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time
because there aren't other kids around.
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake
coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally
immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) &
overly attached to me.
he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his
tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at
pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the
window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was
sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to
play that game).
so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed
preschool & i thought they were crazy.
lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly attached to mom,
IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo, he sounds so happy. I'm glad
you thumbed your nose at the agency.

That's worrisome.

My son had speech therapy as a pre-schooler. It was supplied by the school
district.

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit from social workers.
That went OK, but one item that concerned me is that they tested my son, showing
him pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for how he pronounces
words. One picture was of a handgun. He didn't know what that was.

Wow. I think I would be hugely bothered by that. It just seems
unnecessary.


At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good
that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no".
But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we
were a hunting family?

I could be they were trying to evaluate whether or not they should be
concerned for the child's safety, since a lot of gun related injuries/
deaths are due to home accidents. However, it seems something well
outside their scope and not really appropriate.

Yeah - I didn't know if it was just a comment on the part of an individual, or
if, by having a child that needs a service, my door was open to evaluation for
all kinds of scrutiny.

Banty

On Dec 7, 9:12 am, Banty wrote:
In article ,
cjra says...







On Dec 7, 8:03 am, Banty wrote:
In article , Nan says...

On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 01:19:51 +0000 (UTC), enigma
wrote:

Banty wrote in
:

Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this
power and mixed up in your life??

he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really
good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early
Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech
therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue &
face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was
the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g)
anyway, when kids age out of EI at age 3, they refer you to
ChildFind or whatever your state calls the school district
developmental delay program. i didn't know this when i went
into EI. i figured he'd get a year of PT & then i'd find a
private PT if he needed to continue. one of the things the PT
suggested was putting him into a playgroup once/week so he
could play with other kids. seemed reasonable at the time
because there aren't other kids around.
well, that & the fact that Boo refused to play the intake
coordinators games made them decide to label him emotionally
immature (show me an emotionally mature 2year7 month old) &
overly attached to me.
he *tried* to talk to the intake coordinators & show them his
tractors and implements, but they wanted him to look at
pictures & point at things (when they asked him where the
window was in the picture, he pointed to the window he was
sitting next to, & when that was "wrong" he didn't want to
play that game).
so, they wanted him to go to developmentally delayed
preschool & i thought they were crazy.
lee still thinks they're crazy. hence the private school

That's messed up. A 2 year old just cannot be overly attached to mom,
IMNSHO! The stories you tell about Boo, he sounds so happy. I'm glad
you thumbed your nose at the agency.

That's worrisome.

My son had speech therapy as a pre-schooler. It was supplied by the school
district.

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit from social workers.
That went OK, but one item that concerned me is that they tested my son, showing
him pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for how he pronounces
words. One picture was of a handgun. He didn't know what that was.

Wow. I think I would be hugely bothered by that. It just seems
unnecessary.

At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good
that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no".
But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we
were a hunting family?

I could be they were trying to evaluate whether or not they should be
concerned for the child's safety, since a lot of gun related injuries/
deaths are due to home accidents. However, it seems something well
outside their scope and not really appropriate.

Yeah - I didn't know if it was just a comment on the part of an individual, or
if, by having a child that needs a service, my door was open to evaluation for
all kinds of scrutiny.

That's my current worry when the evaluator comes next week. Our house,
undergoing extensive restorations, is not exactly "acceptable" by some
people's standards. Fortunately the cleaning lady comes that
morning ;-)

Banty wrote in
:

All went very well, but one of the requirements was a visit
from social workers. That went OK, but one item that
concerned me is that they tested my son, showing him
pictures. It looked like he was getting some testing for
how he pronounces words. One picture was of a handgun. He
didn't know what that was.

At the end of the visit, one of the social workers
commented that it was good that he didn't know what a gun
was - are there guns in my house? I said "no". But I
wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and
what if we were a hunting family?

oh, yeah! they certainly are/were scoping out for other
things. i got an earful about both the guns (it's a freaking
air gun!) *and* the bows & arrows. neither was within child
reach, but OMG! they were *in the house!!!*
they're also checking out your housekeeping. you get huge
ticks off for clutter, dishes in the sink & probably the dust
bunnies under the furniture. big dogs are a "bad thing" too,
especially "dangerous" breeds like Malamutes.
i'm shocked my kid has made it to 7, really.
i bet they'd be having absolute hissies if they knew i bought
Boo his very own soft pellet gun (with glow in the dark
pellets) so he can target practice in the basement...

lee who has no use for the nanny state