upset at nanny -- vent

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:cQwVb.440886$ts4.344476@pd7tw3no...


Chotii wrote:

"D W" wrote in message
...

What???!!!!
Your saying now there's no problem, and she is a good nanny! After
talking badly about her to just about everybody you could think of,
calling her simple and getting all bent out of proportion, you now say
she is a good nanny.


The woman can be a good nanny, you know, EXCEPT for not understanding
how
important the dietary restrictions are. I suspect the 'simpleness' has
more
to do with a language barrier than an actual lack of intelligence, but
communication problems are problems no matter why they occur.

I may be wrong, but I think there's no language barrier between Anita
and her nanny.

She did say that her nanny only reads Chinese. If that's the case, then the
nanny would have learned English as a second language, probably as an adult.
In such a case, it's irrelevant that the nanny speaks English, her command
of it will not be perfect, and misunderstandings are bound to occur. The
answer to this is patience and careful communication. For both of them. Of
course, cultural differences also will apply.

--angela

D W wrote:
What???!!!!
Your saying now there's no problem, and she is a good nanny! After
talking badly about her to just about everybody you could think of,
calling her simple and getting all bent out of proportion, you now say
she is a good nanny.

Uh, she made one post to Usenet venting. I hardly think that's the same
thing as "talking badly...to everybody [she] could think of."
How is being upset about a baby being fed something it's not ready for
getting "bent out of proportion"?
One small facet of childcare doesn't necessarily negate the other factors;
she can certainly be a good nanny even though she's made one mistake.
And, by the way, it's "you're."


Woman, get a grip. I know we all have times that we need to vent, but
its how we vent that matter.

Yes, exactly, which is why she came and complained here instead of verbally
going postal on the nanny.
I don't think Anita's the one who needs to get a grip. You're getting
awfully upset here for no apparent reason.


Life is too short.

Though I bet it can seem pretty long sometimes when you suffer from serious
food intolerances that could have been avoided.

--
tristyn
www.tristyn.net
"i have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
i do not think that they will sing to me."

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:eZAVb.431126$JQ1.351867@pd7tw1no...


Chotii wrote:

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:cQwVb.440886$ts4.344476@pd7tw3no...


Chotii wrote:


"D W" wrote in message
...


What???!!!!
Your saying now there's no problem, and she is a good nanny! After
talking badly about her to just about everybody you could think of,
calling her simple and getting all bent out of proportion, you now say
she is a good nanny.


The woman can be a good nanny, you know, EXCEPT for not understanding

how

important the dietary restrictions are. I suspect the 'simpleness' has

more

to do with a language barrier than an actual lack of intelligence, but
communication problems are problems no matter why they occur.

I may be wrong, but I think there's no language barrier between Anita
and her nanny.


She did say that her nanny only reads Chinese.

What do you know about Anita's family? Just because her nanny only
reads Chinese doesn't really mean there's a language barrier. ;-)

Okay, here you've got me. I know nada about Anita's family. I know that if I
had a nanny who read only Chinese, there's a good chance she and I would
have *some* degree of language barrier. The same would be true for virtually
anyone who read only (some language other than English). I do speak Spanish,
and a little French, and a bit less than that of Italian,

However. I concede: in this regard, I may be entirely wrong.

Still, there must have been SOME kind of communication or comprehension
breakdown. If it wasn't language, then culture, or...something. Else the
nanny would not have been feeding the baby a forbidden food.

--angela

She is a very good nanny: she keeps Pillbug clean
and happy, makes him laugh, is very responsive to
his emotions, keeps his room clean, is always on
time, does his laundry twice a week, clips and files
his nails twice a week, takes him out for a stroller
ride every day (except on rainy or cold, windy days).
She latches him in properly, keeps him safe, holds
him while he naps. She's a fabulous nanny.

I've never had a problem with her; she just thought
it was a nice thing to do to give Pillbug some of
her bread because he looked like he wanted to eat!
It was not intentional. I just hit the roof because
I'm trying to hard to make sure that he does not get
any allergies or sensitivities and she didn't seem
to understand the magnitude of what she'd done.

I meant "simple" in that she never thought to question
that there may be chemicals in something like wheat
bread or that there may be allergies involved. I do
get ballistic when I think Pillbug's future is
threatened, even if everything else about the nanny
is fabulous. And, you know how sometimes you get mad,
talk it out, everything is resolved, but you still
have those mad feelings? That's what this vent was
about.

By the way, there's no language barrier between the
nanny and me. There's a culture gap in the sense
that she never worried about stuff like this for
her son 25 years ago in Taiwan. But, in terms of
Chinese culture and stuff, nah, no real barrier.

-- Anita --


D W wrote:
What???!!!!
Your saying now there's no problem, and she is a good nanny! After
talking badly about her to just about everybody you could think of,
calling her simple and getting all bent out of proportion, you now say
she is a good nanny.

Woman, get a grip. I know we all have times that we need to vent, but
its how we vent that matter.

I think we need to concentrate on the things that are really important
in life. Life is too short.



--
SUCCESS FOUR FLIGHTS THURSDAY MORNING ALL AGAINST
TWENTY ONE MILE WIND STARTED FROM LEVEL WITH ENGINE
POWER ALONE AVERAGE SPEED THROUGH AIR THIRTY ONE
MILES LONGEST 57 SECONDS INFORM PRESS HOME CHRISTMAS.

"Irrational Number" wrote in message
...
She is a very good nanny: she keeps Pillbug clean
and happy, makes him laugh, is very responsive to
his emotions, keeps his room clean, is always on
time, does his laundry twice a week, clips and files
his nails twice a week, takes him out for a stroller
ride every day (except on rainy or cold, windy days).
She latches him in properly, keeps him safe, holds
him while he naps. She's a fabulous nanny.

I've never had a problem with her; she just thought
it was a nice thing to do to give Pillbug some of
her bread because he looked like he wanted to eat!
It was not intentional. I just hit the roof because
I'm trying to hard to make sure that he does not get
any allergies or sensitivities and she didn't seem
to understand the magnitude of what she'd done.

I meant "simple" in that she never thought to question
that there may be chemicals in something like wheat
bread or that there may be allergies involved. I do
get ballistic when I think Pillbug's future is
threatened, even if everything else about the nanny
is fabulous. And, you know how sometimes you get mad,
talk it out, everything is resolved, but you still
have those mad feelings? That's what this vent was
about.

By the way, there's no language barrier between the
nanny and me. There's a culture gap in the sense
that she never worried about stuff like this for
her son 25 years ago in Taiwan. But, in terms of
Chinese culture and stuff, nah, no real barrier.

Cultural gap applies in the sense that some of us are
really into natural health, AP, etc. Heck, MOST people I know
have no clue where Im coming from nor do they understand my concerns.
*sigh*
Its hard when u are doing what u think is best, but its totally
agaisnt the flow of popular culture.

I've never had a problem with her; she just thought
it was a nice thing to do to give Pillbug some of
her bread because he looked like he wanted to eat!
It was not intentional. I just hit the roof because
I'm trying to hard to make sure that he does not get
any allergies or sensitivities and she didn't seem
to understand the magnitude of what she'd done.


I think you have both learnt from this experience. I imagine that if you
had known just how strongly you felt about this, you would have put it
right up there in the top things to ask when you interviewed her (along
with first aid skills, fire hazards, being safe in the car etc).

You've both learnt that she doesn't have the same concerns that you have
about weaning and food in general. When your DS is eating a wider
variety of food and being taken out to playdates and places to eat
you'll really need to make sure she knows *exactly* what your DS can and
can't have.

Mary Ann

"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
k... AND I snipped!

"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...

language and cultural differences make it very easy to have problems

Tell me about it - even on this newsgroup. Sometimes you ladies really
surprise me (well not anymore, but in the beginning)

Tine, Denmark

I'm very curious about your comment that you've had problems on the
newsgroup due to language and cultural differences. Could you give some
examples of ways "we" (I guess that would be us from the U.S.?) have
surprised you?

Thanks,
-Patty, mom to Corinne (5.75y) and Nathan (3.5y)
and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y)

"PattyMomVA" skrev i en meddelelse
...
"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
k... AND I snipped!

"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...

language and cultural differences make it very easy to have problems

Tell me about it - even on this newsgroup. Sometimes you ladies really
surprise me (well not anymore, but in the beginning)

Tine, Denmark

I'm very curious about your comment that you've had problems on the
newsgroup due to language and cultural differences. Could you give some
examples of ways "we" (I guess that would be us from the U.S.?) have
surprised you?

Thanks,
-Patty, mom to Corinne (5.75y) and Nathan (3.5y)
and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y)

I can give you one: In Denmark religion is something VERY private. No-one
would ever say: "We pray for you". It would sound completely ridiculous.
No-one ever knows anything about other people's religion exept if it is VERY
obvious (my boss being financial leader of the Jewish community, a muslim
girl wearing a scarf around her hair) On the other hand: no-one would lift
an eye brow at a fully exposed breast of a nursing mother on a bench in the
main street on a nursing mother.

And another: you have all kinds of words to paraphrase things you don't want
to mention directly (being politically correct). A brown skinned person is
Afro-American - here he would simply be a negro (negro meaning 'black') It's
a completely neutral word. We are not whatnot-challenged - ever. People who
can't hear are deaf, I am short, and dyslectic people are called
word-blind. Homosexual men are gay ('bøsse' in Danish meaning 'gun'.) Used
to be derogatory, but the gay people started to use it and thereby took the
sting out of it. Now even politicians will use the term.

We put the stroller with a sleeping child in front of a restaurant outside
the windows while we have lunch inside if we can sit next to the window and
see the stroller. No problem. In New York a Danish woman doing so was put in
prison some years ago and her completely breastfed baby taken from her for
four days. When the baby was returned she was very hoarse and hungry. My
whole country (okay - only 5 mill, but it's all we have) was in an uproar.

No-one homeschools. SAHM is only seen if they are un-employed. Or only for
short periods. On the other hand we have up to 46 weeks of paid maternaty
and parental leave - not on full salary, but something you can live from.
Out of these the father can take 32 if the two of them can agree on it. And
no employer can say anything - it's his right. In fact: you are not allowed
to go to work before 14 weeks post partum.

I can't come up with any more good ones right now, but in general I think we
are more open with some things (our bodies) and more closed about others
(religion).

Tine, Denmark

P.S. That's why I always write 'Denmark' - to apologize on beforehand for
blunders I make.

"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
k...
"PattyMomVA" skrev i en meddelelse
...
"Tine Andersen" wrote in message
k... AND I
snipped!

"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...

language and cultural differences make it very easy to have
problems

Tell me about it - even on this newsgroup. Sometimes you ladies
really
surprise me (well not anymore, but in the beginning)

Tine, Denmark

I'm very curious about your comment that you've had problems on
the
newsgroup due to language and cultural differences. Could you
give some
examples of ways "we" (I guess that would be us from the U.S.?)
have
surprised you?

Thanks,
-Patty, mom to Corinne (5.75y) and Nathan (3.5y)
and stepmom to Victoria (13.5y)

I can give you one: In Denmark religion is something VERY private.
No-one
would ever say: "We pray for you". It would sound completely
ridiculous.
No-one ever knows anything about other people's religion exept if it
is VERY
obvious (my boss being financial leader of the Jewish community, a
muslim
girl wearing a scarf around her hair) On the other hand: no-one
would lift
an eye brow at a fully exposed breast of a nursing mother on a bench
in the
main street on a nursing mother.

And another: you have all kinds of words to paraphrase things you
don't want
to mention directly (being politically correct). A brown skinned
person is
Afro-American - here he would simply be a negro (negro meaning
'black') It's
a completely neutral word.

African Americans are black, not all blacks are African Americans.
So sometimes the term is used to differntiate between blacks of US
ancestry
and Africans, Caribbean blacks, South American blacks, etc.

"Nina" skrev i en meddelelse
...

African Americans are black, not all blacks are African Americans.
So sometimes the term is used to differntiate between blacks of US
ancestry
and Africans, Caribbean blacks, South American blacks, etc.

.....and they are not even black - mostly they are light brown. :-)

In Denmark there are so few that we only recently have started to
diffentiate between Africans and Americans - and we wouldn't even think
about the rest. They are simply negroes.

But of course you are right.

Tine, Denmark