Help with 4 year old not wanting to eat

I have a 4 year old son that doesn't want to eat his food. We try
bribing or time-outs or no TV, etc but it doesn't seem to work. He'll
eat a half pancake for breakfast sometimes, goes to his preshcool till
noon, comes home and won't eat lunch nor does he eat his lunch at
school. He munches on junk food during the day but won't eat dinner,
unless pestered and then only small amounts of food are consumed.

We give him anything he says he wants but he never eats it. Mac and
cheese, cottage cheese, greens, steak, chicken, etc.

This has been going on for his whole life. My parents said I was the
same way.

He does eat junk food like cheetos and pretzels, etc during the day.

He is incredibly active and it shows as he is a skinny kid.

Anyone have some tips they can provide to get my son to eat regular
meals on a regular basis? Thank you!

I've had a similar challenge with my four year old son. After reading
a bunch of articles, it seems we're not alone... it's fairly typical
of kids this age. One doctor recommended to me to just make sure he's
getting as balanced a diet as possible with what he will eat, and I
started giving him chewable vitamins (which he does eat). I stopped
keeping junk food at home. I have him select (with my approval) two
snacks at the market and that's all I keep around. He gets a small
snack after preschool, so he doesn't get cranky, but I limit his
portion so he's hungry at meal time.

Here are the rules I've used successfully, but he does his best to
push the limits and find loopholes:

1) Just one small snack after preschool, before dinner.
2) I serve him just as much as I know he can eat, and have him clean
the plate. He needed a clear goal, and I didn't want him overeating.
So a modest, but reasonable amount of food. Once he's cleared the
plate, he's free to ask for seconds of anything he wants.
3) If he cleans the plate, he earns a desert (usually apple sauce,
yogurt or a fruit cup, but about once a week I'll give him a cookie,
small piece of pie, cake or ice cream)
4) If he gets up during dinner that means he's finished eating (if his
plate is not clean, no desert) - This one took about three meals for
him to get, he'd get up to grab a toy and learn that he's lost desert,
then he'd throw a fit... It was his decision to signal the end of the
meal by getting up, and he had the power to stay seated. He used
"bathroom breaks" as an excuse to get up, so I take him to the
bathroom before each meal to make sure this doesn't happen.
5) NO food after dinner.... After dinner he bathes & brushes teeth,
TV time (if he's earned it), story time then sleep... no midnight
snacks, if he doesn't eat at dinner he goes to bed hungry. Again,
this took about three nights going to bed hungry before he realized
that he made the choice by not eating.
6) Additional reinforcement -- we have a sticker chart. I give him
three or four goals to work on at a time, one is eating his meals. If
he earned desert, he also earns a sticker for the chart. We go to a
toy store and he can pick ANYTHING he chooses (I multiply the price
times four to figure out how many stickers it will take for him to
earn the toy... 25 cents per sticker is about right with my budget,
considering he can earn three or four per day) He usually picks
something around 40 stickers ($10), but when we started it was toys
from the dollar store. I make up a sticker chart with how ever many
dots as he needs, each night after bath time, we put the stickers on
the chart. When it's full, I owe him a trip to the toy store to get
his reward.

The key to all this was empowering him. I'm on his team and want to
help him "win" desert and a sticker. He has all the power to earn the
prizes, it's easy to do, and he knows the rules.

Hope that helps!

One other quick thought, my son still sometimes refuses to eat. It's
usually when he's feeling constipated or ill. You may want to check
and make sure it's a behavioral issue, and not medical.

ULB wrote:

I have a 4 year old son that doesn't want to eat his food. We try
bribing or time-outs or no TV, etc but it doesn't seem to work. He'll
eat a half pancake for breakfast sometimes, goes to his preshcool till
noon, comes home and won't eat lunch nor does he eat his lunch at
school. He munches on junk food during the day but won't eat dinner,
unless pestered and then only small amounts of food are consumed.

We give him anything he says he wants but he never eats it. Mac and
cheese, cottage cheese, greens, steak, chicken, etc.

This has been going on for his whole life. My parents said I was the
same way.

He does eat junk food like cheetos and pretzels, etc during the day.

He is incredibly active and it shows as he is a skinny kid.

Anyone have some tips they can provide to get my son to eat regular
meals on a regular basis? Thank you!
---------------------
You're ****ing kidding!
Junk food is high in fat and carbs! Why do you give it to him?
Don't give it to him, give him ONLY REAL food and he'll eat
when he's really hungry!! Make him a plate and if he doesn't
eat it put in in the fridge for his next meal!! Put a lock
on the fridge between times!
Steve

On Apr 5, 4:06 am, "R. Steve Walz" wrote:
ULB wrote:

I have a 4 year old son that doesn't want to eat his food. We try
bribing or time-outs or no TV, etc but it doesn't seem to work. He'll
eat a half pancake for breakfast sometimes, goes to his preshcool till
noon, comes home and won't eat lunch nor does he eat his lunch at
school. He munches on junk food during the day but won't eat dinner,
unless pestered and then only small amounts of food are consumed.

We give him anything he says he wants but he never eats it. Mac and
cheese, cottage cheese, greens, steak, chicken, etc.

This has been going on for his whole life. My parents said I was the
same way.

He does eat junk food like cheetos and pretzels, etc during the day.

He is incredibly active and it shows as he is a skinny kid.

Anyone have some tips they can provide to get my son to eat regular
meals on a regular basis? Thank you!

---------------------
You're ****ing kidding!
Junk food is high in fat and carbs! Why do you give it to him?
Don't give it to him, give him ONLY REAL food and he'll eat
when he's really hungry!! Make him a plate and if he doesn't
eat it put in in the fridge for his next meal!! Put a lock
on the fridge between times!
Steve- Hide quoted text -

Ah the voice of reason at last. Why are some things so obvious yet
parents continue to teach their children the art of manipulation? It
is beyond me. "Oh he doesn't eat his dinner but munches junk food all
day. Oh I wonder why he doesn't eat his dinner? " Give me a ****in'
break!!!

Why do some parents feel the need to use profanity when "helping"
another? I have the same issue with my daughter too. When you have a
child who won't eat meals and her spine is sticking out of her skin,
then if she wants a snack (usually yogurt, fruit, carrots or pirates
booty, so NOT junk in my house) then I give it to her. There is only
one person on this thread (Mike) who was helpful. How about the rest
of you just mind your own business and act like an adult!


On Apr 9, 5:51 am, "Scorpio" wrote:
On Apr 5, 4:06 am, "R. Steve Walz" wrote:

ULB wrote:

I have a 4 year old son that doesn't want to eat his food. We try
bribing or time-outs or no TV, etc but it doesn't seem to work. He'll
eat a half pancake for breakfast sometimes, goes to his preshcool till
noon, comes home and won't eat lunch nor does he eat his lunch at
school. He munches on junk food during the day but won't eat dinner,
unless pestered and then only small amounts of food are consumed.

We give him anything he says he wants but he never eats it. Mac and
cheese, cottage cheese, greens, steak, chicken, etc.

This has been going on for his whole life. My parents said I was the
same way.

He does eat junk food like cheetos and pretzels, etc during the day.

He is incredibly active and it shows as he is a skinny kid.

Anyone have some tips they can provide to get my son to eat regular
meals on a regular basis? Thank you!

---------------------
You're ****ing kidding!
Junk food is high in fat and carbs! Why do you give it to him?
Don't give it to him, give him ONLY REAL food and he'll eat
when he's really hungry!! Make him a plate and if he doesn't
eat it put in in the fridge for his next meal!! Put a lock
on the fridge between times!
Steve- Hide quoted text -

Ah the voice of reason at last. Why are some things so obvious yet
parents continue to teach their children the art of manipulation? It
is beyond me. "Oh he doesn't eat his dinner but munches junk food all
day. Oh I wonder why he doesn't eat his dinner? " Give me a ****in'
break!!!

Sharon430 wrote:

Why do some parents feel the need to use profanity when "helping"
another? I have the same issue with my daughter too. When you have a
child who won't eat meals and her spine is sticking out of her skin,
then if she wants a snack (usually yogurt, fruit, carrots or pirates
booty, so NOT junk in my house) then I give it to her. There is only
one person on this thread (Mike) who was helpful. How about the rest
of you just mind your own business and act like an adult!
----------------------
Eat ****! You're just another crank who just wants to be validated
and couches that desire in a supposed question that you really DON'T
want answered by anyone who disagress with you! You're pitiful!
People who know what the hell they're doing don't ask such stupid
questions that imply they can't think well or very deeply!
Steve




On Apr 9, 5:51 am, "Scorpio" wrote:
On Apr 5, 4:06 am, "R. Steve Walz" wrote:

ULB wrote:

I have a 4 year old son that doesn't want to eat his food. We try
bribing or time-outs or no TV, etc but it doesn't seem to work. He'll
eat a half pancake for breakfast sometimes, goes to his preshcool till
noon, comes home and won't eat lunch nor does he eat his lunch at
school. He munches on junk food during the day but won't eat dinner,
unless pestered and then only small amounts of food are consumed.

We give him anything he says he wants but he never eats it. Mac and
cheese, cottage cheese, greens, steak, chicken, etc.

This has been going on for his whole life. My parents said I was the
same way.

He does eat junk food like cheetos and pretzels, etc during the day.

He is incredibly active and it shows as he is a skinny kid.

Anyone have some tips they can provide to get my son to eat regular
meals on a regular basis? Thank you!

---------------------
You're ****ing kidding!
Junk food is high in fat and carbs! Why do you give it to him?
Don't give it to him, give him ONLY REAL food and he'll eat
when he's really hungry!! Make him a plate and if he doesn't
eat it put in in the fridge for his next meal!! Put a lock
on the fridge between times!
Steve- Hide quoted text -

Ah the voice of reason at last. Why are some things so obvious yet
parents continue to teach their children the art of manipulation? It
is beyond me. "Oh he doesn't eat his dinner but munches junk food all
day. Oh I wonder why he doesn't eat his dinner? " Give me a ****in'
break!!!