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#1
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toilet training issues
My son potty trained in less than a day shortly before he turned 3. He
just decided he was ready one day and he's been doing great for two months now. However, he was just "potty" trained. We have been unable to get him to poop in the toilet. We've tried having him go naked and it worked great the first time we tried it. Since then, it's not worked at all. We watch for signs that he's going to go and put him on the toilet, but he says he can't and he won't even try. We've tried having him sit for 15-20 minutes on the toilet and nothing happens. We broke down and offered candy incentives, and he doesn't really care. Part of the problem I think is that he's always been an every other day pooper, and when it's a "poop day", he poops little bits all day long, not one or two big movements. That makes it hard to anticipate and leads to multiple messes. Since he's completely dry, it seems silly to go back to diapers or pull-ups, but that's what we're doing since cleaning the messes is so much easier. We've tried to keep it low key and handle the messes matter-of-factly without getting upset, but that's getting harder as we get tired of cleaning up all day long. Any ideas on how we can gently encourage him to poop in the toilet without making it into a power struggle or do we just wait it out with pull-ups? Annie |
#2
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toilet training issues
In article .com, annie
says... My son potty trained in less than a day shortly before he turned 3. He just decided he was ready one day and he's been doing great for two months now. However, he was just "potty" trained. We have been unable to get him to poop in the toilet. We've tried having him go naked and it worked great the first time we tried it. Since then, it's not worked at all. We watch for signs that he's going to go and put him on the toilet, but he says he can't and he won't even try. We've tried having him sit for 15-20 minutes on the toilet and nothing happens. We broke down and offered candy incentives, and he doesn't really care. Part of the problem I think is that he's always been an every other day pooper, and when it's a "poop day", he poops little bits all day long, not one or two big movements. That makes it hard to anticipate and leads to multiple messes. Since he's completely dry, it seems silly to go back to diapers or pull-ups, but that's what we're doing since cleaning the messes is so much easier. We've tried to keep it low key and handle the messes matter-of-factly without getting upset, but that's getting harder as we get tired of cleaning up all day long. Any ideas on how we can gently encourage him to poop in the toilet without making it into a power struggle or do we just wait it out with pull-ups? Annie How old is he now? Boys often train at about 3 1/2 to even four years old, and being trained as far as poop happens later than training as far as urinating. It sounds like you put him out of diapers when he was only half ready. And it also sounds like it's enough of an issue already that he may be trying to avoid defecation rather than maintaning his normal schedule. And that can proceed to real problems. So, unless he's really much older, I'd just put him back into diapers and be done with it until he's really ready. Don't bribe him, don't scold or beg him, just back up a step. Make sure he knows it's not that he's "failed" or anything like that. Particularly - I don't know about you, but I'm human and not from Mars, and *I* sure never could poop at any particular time just because it would be the most convenient. So stop putting him on the pot and expecting a performance. Banty |
#3
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toilet training issues
annie wrote:
My son potty trained in less than a day shortly before he turned 3. He just decided he was ready one day and he's been doing great for two months now. However, he was just "potty" trained. We have been unable to get him to poop in the toilet. We've tried having him go naked and it worked great the first time we tried it. Since then, it's not worked at all. We watch for signs that he's going to go and put him on the toilet, but he says he can't and he won't even try. We've tried having him sit for 15-20 minutes on the toilet and nothing happens. We broke down and offered candy incentives, and he doesn't really care. Part of the problem I think is that he's always been an every other day pooper, and when it's a "poop day", he poops little bits all day long, not one or two big movements. That makes it hard to anticipate and leads to multiple messes. Since he's completely dry, it seems silly to go back to diapers or pull-ups, but that's what we're doing since cleaning the messes is so much easier. We've tried to keep it low key and handle the messes matter-of-factly without getting upset, but that's getting harder as we get tired of cleaning up all day long. Any ideas on how we can gently encourage him to poop in the toilet without making it into a power struggle or do we just wait it out with pull-ups? Is he pooping in the potty? If so, I'd leave him to do that until he decided he's ready to do it in the toilet. |
#4
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toilet training issues
Banty wrote:
How old is he now? 3 years and 1 month Boys often train at about 3 1/2 to even four years old, and being trained as far as poop happens later than training as far as urinating. It sounds like you put him out of diapers when he was only half ready. My other boys figured out both at the same time, so doing it separately is new to me. He was the one that told us he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. It's actually been a bit of a struggle to get him to wear pull-ups, but he's starting to realize that if cleanup goes faster, he can get back to playing faster. And it also sounds like it's enough of an issue already that he may be trying to avoid defecation rather than maintaning his normal schedule. And that can proceed to real problems. We haven't made much of an issue out of it. He actually is still on his normal schedule. He's always been an every other day or every 3 days pooper and it's always been an all day event. It just didn't bother me as much to change 5 or 6 poopy diapers a day. So, unless he's really much older, I'd just put him back into diapers and be done with it until he's really ready. Don't bribe him, don't scold or beg him, just back up a step. Make sure he knows it's not that he's "failed" or anything like that. We haven't done any of those things. After 3 months though, we're just getting tired of it and it's getting hard not let out some of the frustration. That's why we went back to pullups - so we would not start making it into an issue. Particularly - I don't know about you, but I'm human and not from Mars, and *I* sure never could poop at any particular time just because it would be the most convenient. So stop putting him on the pot and expecting a performance. I don't expect him to go exactly when I say or when it's convenient for me. I am just getting frustrated with events like last night. We were playing and he got quiet all of a sudden. I asked if he needed to go to the bathroom. He said yes. When we got there, he had already pooped in his underwear. He sat on the toilet, peed, and then said he was done. I cleaned him up, washed out the underwear, and we went back to playing our game. Twenty minutes later - repeat. Ten minutes later - repeat. He had a similar series earlier in the day. So, I'm not trying to get him to poop on command. It would just be nice if once he started, he could completely finish the job. If he can poop again so soon, I would assume that he could have pooped it all out ten minutes earlier if he would have just tried. Annie |
#5
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toilet training issues
Boliath wrote:
Is he pooping in the potty? If so, I'd leave him to do that until he decided he's ready to do it in the toilet. We haven't used a potty. From the start, he wanted to use the big toilet. His accidents are all in his underwear. Annie |
#6
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toilet training issues
"annie" wrote in message ps.com... Banty wrote: How old is he now? 3 years and 1 month Boys often train at about 3 1/2 to even four years old, and being trained as far as poop happens later than training as far as urinating. It sounds like you put him out of diapers when he was only half ready. My other boys figured out both at the same time, so doing it separately is new to me. He was the one that told us he didn't want to wear diapers anymore. It's actually been a bit of a struggle to get him to wear pull-ups, but he's starting to realize that if cleanup goes faster, he can get back to playing faster. And it also sounds like it's enough of an issue already that he may be trying to avoid defecation rather than maintaning his normal schedule. And that can proceed to real problems. We haven't made much of an issue out of it. He actually is still on his normal schedule. He's always been an every other day or every 3 days pooper and it's always been an all day event. It just didn't bother me as much to change 5 or 6 poopy diapers a day. So, unless he's really much older, I'd just put him back into diapers and be done with it until he's really ready. Don't bribe him, don't scold or beg him, just back up a step. Make sure he knows it's not that he's "failed" or anything like that. We haven't done any of those things. After 3 months though, we're just getting tired of it and it's getting hard not let out some of the frustration. That's why we went back to pullups - so we would not start making it into an issue. Particularly - I don't know about you, but I'm human and not from Mars, and *I* sure never could poop at any particular time just because it would be the most convenient. So stop putting him on the pot and expecting a performance. I don't expect him to go exactly when I say or when it's convenient for me. I am just getting frustrated with events like last night. We were playing and he got quiet all of a sudden. I asked if he needed to go to the bathroom. He said yes. When we got there, he had already pooped in his underwear. He sat on the toilet, peed, and then said he was done. I cleaned him up, washed out the underwear, and we went back to playing our game. Twenty minutes later - repeat. Ten minutes later - repeat. He had a similar series earlier in the day. So, I'm not trying to get him to poop on command. It would just be nice if once he started, he could completely finish the job. If he can poop again so soon, I would assume that he could have pooped it all out ten minutes earlier if he would have just tried. He sounds like #2, it took her a couple of months to poo in the potty. She's always not gone every day-as a baby it was once a week! Now it's about once every 2-3 days. The main reason was that she liked to poo standing up bending over something. She would tell me she wanted to go, and I'd ask her "potty or nappy" and at first she always chose the nappy. Eventually I made some sort of offer for her-I can't remember what it was, something like going to the swings if she tried. Once she'd done it once she was reasonably happy to try every time. She (until recently) couldn't poo in the toilet, she had to be on a potty. Although she prefers the toilet to wee now, she still will choose the potty for poo. She also used (for about 6 months) have a few false alarms before she would actually go. She'd say "need a poo" run to the potty, sit down, jump up almost immediately up, say "no I don't" then go back to playing. This could happen 3-10 times over sometimes as much as a couple of hours before she would actually go. I'd make sure she wasn't too far away from the potty and let her get on with it herself. I don't think I really did anything other than let her do it her way. I wouldn't assume though that he could get it all out in one go if he'd tried. that'll only get you frustrated and him more worried, which won't help either of you. Debbie |
#7
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toilet training issues
"annie" wrote in message ps.com... I would assume that he could have pooped it all out ten minutes earlier if he would have just tried. The problem with pushing too hard is that it can sometimes cause haemorrhoids -- Just something I thought of that you might want to watch out for. Jen |
#8
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toilet training issues
Hi -- You may wish to discuss with your ped. the fact that he poops a little bit all day, rather than having one or two big poops at a time. It's a bit unusual, and may be a hint of a problem. In an older child it usually means the child has retained the poop at some point and now the colon is distended. The problem is solved with lots of fiber and mineral oil (to promote daily pooping) which helps keep the colon empty, which in turn lets it return to a normal, healthy size. Although your child is younger, the symptoms do, in fact, sound the same. So I suppose it's possible that your child has this problem. Just a thought, --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would like me to reply. |
#9
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toilet training issues
"Beth Kevles" wrote in message ... Hi -- You may wish to discuss with your ped. the fact that he poops a little bit all day, rather than having one or two big poops at a time. It's a bit unusual, and may be a hint of a problem. In an older child it usually means the child has retained the poop at some point and now the colon is distended. The problem is solved with lots of fiber and mineral oil (to promote daily pooping) which helps keep the colon empty, which in turn lets it return to a normal, healthy size. Although your child is younger, the symptoms do, in fact, sound the same. So I suppose it's possible that your child has this problem. Has his pooping always been lots of little poops every other day? Or is this recent? I think seeing the ped is the best idea. He is probably retaining poop now. So everytime he messes himself, it is because he can't hold it. He might also have overflow diarrhea, which means that his stool is going around a load of hard stool in his colon. Once you get the right amount of mineral oil, he'll poop maybe once a day, like after breakfast. The poop will be soft and slip right out (whether he wants it to or not). This will help him establish regular bowel habits. At this point, it is more important that his poop comes out than where it comes out. Maybe the best solution may be to have him ask you for a diaper when he has to poop. He can wear it until he poops and get back into his underwear. If he has to poop again later, he goes back into the diaper. Using a potty might be a good solution, too. Imagine having to poop on a toilet that is about 4 feet off the ground and about twice as wide as you butt with your legs dangling. It is pretty hard. That is what your son has to do when he poops in the toilet. It can be really scarey. Plus it is often hard to poop without something to put your feet on. That might be scaring your son, which may be why he won't even try. It's his poop. He will put it where he wants to, which, right now, is his underwear. He might not be ready to use a toilet for poop, but ready to sit on a potty for poop. Anyway, I think talking with your ped is the best idea. Jeff Just a thought, --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would like me to reply. |
#10
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toilet training issues
"Jeff" wrote in message link.net... "Beth Kevles" wrote in message ... Hi -- You may wish to discuss with your ped. the fact that he poops a little bit all day, rather than having one or two big poops at a time. It's a bit unusual, and may be a hint of a problem. In an older child it usually means the child has retained the poop at some point and now the colon is distended. The problem is solved with lots of fiber and mineral oil (to promote daily pooping) which helps keep the colon empty, which in turn lets it return to a normal, healthy size. Although your child is younger, the symptoms do, in fact, sound the same. So I suppose it's possible that your child has this problem. Has his pooping always been lots of little poops every other day? Or is this recent? I think seeing the ped is the best idea. He is probably retaining poop now. So everytime he messes himself, it is because he can't hold it. He might also have overflow diarrhea, which means that his stool is going around a load of hard stool in his colon. Once you get the right amount of mineral oil, he'll poop maybe once a day, like after breakfast. The poop will be soft and slip right out (whether he wants it to or not). This will help him establish regular bowel habits. At this point, it is more important that his poop comes out than where it comes out. Maybe the best solution may be to have him ask you for a diaper when he has to poop. He can wear it until he poops and get back into his underwear. If he has to poop again later, he goes back into the diaper. Using a potty might be a good solution, too. Imagine having to poop on a toilet that is about 4 feet off the ground and about twice as wide as you butt with your legs dangling. It is pretty hard. My DD liked the rings that you put on the toilet to make the hole smaller. That is what your son has to do when he poops in the toilet. It can be really scarey. Plus it is often hard to poop without something to put your feet on. That might be scaring your son, which may be why he won't even try. It's his poop. He will put it where he wants to, which, right now, is his underwear. He might not be ready to use a toilet for poop, but ready to sit on a potty for poop. Anyway, I think talking with your ped is the best idea. Jeff Just a thought, --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would like me to reply. |
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