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What would you do?



 
 
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  #1  
Old January 7th 07, 06:54 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
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Posts: 196
Default What would you do?

Hello folks!

Awful quiet around here?

So...my recently turned 3 yr. old grand daughter received this very
cute little doll for her birthday that she named "Crystal" well lately
"Crystal is breaking all the house rules! "Jaime" stop jumping on the
couch..."Crystal told me to do it" Jaime clean up your toys "Crystal
was playing with them"
Jaime why are your panties wet" Crystal peed in them " get the idea?

At first we started saying Crystal needs to behave herself but I am
thinking this may lead to some more serious problems letting her use
this doll as a scape goat or excuse to disobey the rules!

I laughed my fool a$$ off today when Mari decided to ground Crystal to
a time out ! There has to be a better way . I mean I heard she spanked
the doll yesterday for being near the stove ! I do not think Jaime is
learning anything more than that she has Mari disciplining a baby doll
, I know I must intervene soon, as I usually do after getting what
amusement I can out of Mari's twisted parenting style lol! I know
......bad me but hey it's been a long time coming.............

Wake up yous' guys !
Bev

  #2  
Old January 7th 07, 12:41 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
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Posts: 52
Default What would you do?


"Bev" wrote ...

So...my recently turned 3 yr. old grand daughter received this very
cute little doll for her birthday that she named "Crystal" well lately
"Crystal is breaking all the house rules! "Jaime" stop jumping on the
couch..."Crystal told me to do it" Jaime clean up your toys "Crystal
was playing with them"
Jaime why are your panties wet" Crystal peed in them " get the idea?

At first we started saying Crystal needs to behave herself but I am
thinking this may lead to some more serious problems letting her use
this doll as a scape goat or excuse to disobey the rules!


Well now, if it was me... (and bearing in mind that they dont come any
weirder than me) , I'd get mysel a Teddy Bear. And every time a meal was
late (which might happen more often) or a favorite item of clothing wasnt
washed in time or we forgot to buy some sweeties.... I'd Blame Teddy

But Like I say... I'm weird...

Cute...But weird

z

.... yer right, tis awful quiet right here lately


  #3  
Old January 7th 07, 03:32 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default What would you do?


Zorro wrote:
"Bev" wrote ...

So...my recently turned 3 yr. old grand daughter received this very
cute little doll for her birthday that she named "Crystal" well lately
"Crystal is breaking all the house rules! "Jaime" stop jumping on the
couch..."Crystal told me to do it" Jaime clean up your toys "Crystal
was playing with them"
Jaime why are your panties wet" Crystal peed in them " get the idea?

At first we started saying Crystal needs to behave herself but I am
thinking this may lead to some more serious problems letting her use
this doll as a scape goat or excuse to disobey the rules!


Well now, if it was me... (and bearing in mind that they dont come any
weirder than me) , I'd get mysel a Teddy Bear. And every time a meal was
late (which might happen more often) or a favorite item of clothing wasnt
washed in time or we forgot to buy some sweeties.... I'd Blame Teddy

But Like I say... I'm weird...

Cute...But weird

z

... yer right, tis awful quiet right here lately


Ahhh a weird one ! weird is good ...cute is not as important to me, but
weird you must be to play with me ! smirk

OK....... luv yer advice ! 8^)

I wonder if this is how people like George Carlin, Ellen, and all those
other whacked out funny people were raised !?!?!?!?

shhhhh! we are getting loud in here we may wake the others up!

Bev

  #4  
Old January 8th 07, 06:16 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
xkatx
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 103
Default What would you do?


"Bev" wrote in message
oups.com...
Hello folks!

Awful quiet around here?


Sure is!!

So...my recently turned 3 yr. old grand daughter received this very
cute little doll for her birthday that she named "Crystal" well lately
"Crystal is breaking all the house rules! "Jaime" stop jumping on the
couch..."Crystal told me to do it" Jaime clean up your toys "Crystal
was playing with them"
Jaime why are your panties wet" Crystal peed in them " get the idea?

At first we started saying Crystal needs to behave herself but I am
thinking this may lead to some more serious problems letting her use
this doll as a scape goat or excuse to disobey the rules!

I laughed my fool a$$ off today when Mari decided to ground Crystal to
a time out ! There has to be a better way . I mean I heard she spanked
the doll yesterday for being near the stove ! I do not think Jaime is
learning anything more than that she has Mari disciplining a baby doll
, I know I must intervene soon, as I usually do after getting what
amusement I can out of Mari's twisted parenting style lol! I know
.....bad me but hey it's been a long time coming.............

Wake up yous' guys !
Bev


Well, in all honesty, I'm really not one to play these kinds of games, and I
probably have a fairly twisted parenting style as well!
First of all... If she's blaming such behaviour that she well knows is not
acceptable (eg., she's potty trained and normally does not have accidents,
she knows well enough that jumping on the couch/bed/whatever is not allowed,
she's aware that when she is done playing with toys they must be put away,
etc.) and has recently started to blame the doll, I don't think that would
hold up very long with me.

I would make it clear that we do not pee our pants - we use the toilet. We
pick up our toys, we don't jump on furniture, we don't touch the stove, we
turn lights off after leaving a room - whatever. If the doll is being used
as a blame tool, I would make it clear that soon 'Crystal' will not be
welcome in our home. If it is Crystal that is making the mess/not following
rules, then Crystal will not be allowed in our home. If she's old enough to
follow the rules until the doll, she should be old enough to comprehend that
we don't enjoy people in our home that do not follow the same rules we all
do.

I dunno... If she insists on blaming the doll, I, honestly, would not allow
the doll to be used as the excuse!

I can just imagine disciplining the poor doll! That reminds me of how my
brothers and I used to blame eachother and not get disciplined for something
we did wrong because another was blamed and caught hell for it


  #5  
Old January 8th 07, 04:23 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Kim
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 24
Default What would you do?


"xkatx" wrote in message
newsskoh.116413$rv4.33055@edtnps90...

"Bev" wrote in message
oups.com...
Hello folks!

Awful quiet around here?


Sure is!!

So...my recently turned 3 yr. old grand daughter received this very
cute little doll for her birthday that she named "Crystal" well lately
"Crystal is breaking all the house rules! "Jaime" stop jumping on the
couch..."Crystal told me to do it" Jaime clean up your toys "Crystal
was playing with them"
Jaime why are your panties wet" Crystal peed in them " get the idea?

At first we started saying Crystal needs to behave herself but I am
thinking this may lead to some more serious problems letting her use
this doll as a scape goat or excuse to disobey the rules!

I laughed my fool a$$ off today when Mari decided to ground Crystal to
a time out ! There has to be a better way . I mean I heard she spanked
the doll yesterday for being near the stove ! I do not think Jaime is
learning anything more than that she has Mari disciplining a baby doll
, I know I must intervene soon, as I usually do after getting what
amusement I can out of Mari's twisted parenting style lol! I know
.....bad me but hey it's been a long time coming.............

Wake up yous' guys !
Bev


Well, in all honesty, I'm really not one to play these kinds of games, and
I probably have a fairly twisted parenting style as well!
First of all... If she's blaming such behaviour that she well knows is not
acceptable (eg., she's potty trained and normally does not have accidents,
she knows well enough that jumping on the couch/bed/whatever is not
allowed, she's aware that when she is done playing with toys they must be
put away, etc.) and has recently started to blame the doll, I don't think
that would hold up very long with me.

I would make it clear that we do not pee our pants - we use the toilet.
We pick up our toys, we don't jump on furniture, we don't touch the stove,
we turn lights off after leaving a room - whatever. If the doll is being
used as a blame tool, I would make it clear that soon 'Crystal' will not
be welcome in our home. If it is Crystal that is making the mess/not
following rules, then Crystal will not be allowed in our home. If she's
old enough to follow the rules until the doll, she should be old enough to
comprehend that we don't enjoy people in our home that do not follow the
same rules we all do.

I dunno... If she insists on blaming the doll, I, honestly, would not
allow the doll to be used as the excuse!

I can just imagine disciplining the poor doll! That reminds me of how my
brothers and I used to blame eachother and not get disciplined for
something we did wrong because another was blamed and caught hell for it



Although I chuckled at Zorro's advice I think this is good sound advice
right here...


  #6  
Old January 9th 07, 03:45 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
xkatx
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 103
Default What would you do?


"'Kate" wrote in message
...
On 6 Jan 2007 21:54:55 -0800, "Bev" the
following was posted in blue dry erase marker:

Hello folks!

Awful quiet around here?

So...my recently turned 3 yr. old grand daughter received this very
cute little doll for her birthday that she named "Crystal" well lately
"Crystal is breaking all the house rules! "Jaime" stop jumping on the
couch..."Crystal told me to do it" Jaime clean up your toys "Crystal
was playing with them"
Jaime why are your panties wet" Crystal peed in them " get the idea?

At first we started saying Crystal needs to behave herself but I am
thinking this may lead to some more serious problems letting her use
this doll as a scape goat or excuse to disobey the rules!

I laughed my fool a$$ off today when Mari decided to ground Crystal to
a time out ! There has to be a better way . I mean I heard she spanked
the doll yesterday for being near the stove ! I do not think Jaime is
learning anything more than that she has Mari disciplining a baby doll
, I know I must intervene soon, as I usually do after getting what
amusement I can out of Mari's twisted parenting style lol! I know
.....bad me but hey it's been a long time coming.............

Wake up yous' guys !
Bev


Crystal is Jaime's baby and Jaime's responsibility. Disciplining the
doll is also her responsibility as is fixing whatever Crystal did wrong.


I totally agree with this... but if a 3 year old is expected to keep
'Crystal' in line, IMO, you need to either lessen the expectations in the
household or draw the line.
One thing that I wouldn't stand long for is commen sense actions or
activities that have been either allowed or not since the beginning. If
jumping on the bed has not been allowed right from the start, I would not
allow a 3 year old to discipline her doll because 'the doll told me to do
it' as this is something that she knew was not permitted, and quite frankly,
she did the actions that weren't allowed. As far as something like the
stove incident went, that's alright - maybe Jaime should have done the
discipline towards Crystal, but it seems that Jaime's actions are those that
she knows better than to do, and can sometimes be on the line of dangerous.


  #7  
Old January 12th 07, 08:50 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default What would you do?


'Kate wrote:
On Tue, 09 Jan 2007 14:45:59 GMT, "xkatx"
the following was posted in blue dry
erase marker:


"'Kate" wrote in message
.. .
Crystal is Jaime's baby and Jaime's responsibility. Disciplining the
doll is also her responsibility as is fixing whatever Crystal did wrong.


I totally agree with this... but if a 3 year old is expected to keep
'Crystal' in line, IMO, you need to either lessen the expectations in the
household or draw the line.


I'm not sure I understand that.

One thing that I wouldn't stand long for is commen sense actions or
activities that have been either allowed or not since the beginning. If
jumping on the bed has not been allowed right from the start, I would not
allow a 3 year old to discipline her doll because 'the doll told me to do
it' as this is something that she knew was not permitted, and quite frankly,
she did the actions that weren't allowed. As far as something like the
stove incident went, that's alright - maybe Jaime should have done the
discipline towards Crystal, but it seems that Jaime's actions are those that
she knows better than to do, and can sometimes be on the line of dangerous.


Finally!!!! Google ****es me off on a regular basis!

Now that I am permitted to respond I will ......

Kat,

I understand what you are saying and I agree , Jaime is way too smart
to think what she is doing is ok. I can tell she knows she is busting
my chops just by her little facial expression. The little darlin' has a
marvelous smirk. She can't kid a kidder and I believe she was playing
as long as were going to allow it .

It was a giggle at first but of course level headed adults responsible
for the development of this little mind must nip it in the bud.

Thanks for responding . We have already let her know that Crystal will
not be welcome here if she continues to break the rules. Thanks for
your input!


and 'Kate.....

I must admit what you wrote below is right on the money ! There is a
world of information both in learning and teaching in the use of "play
therapy." Taking advantage of Crystals part in this has been very
useful......

Thanks for your very valuable input!

Jaime should be encouraged to behave properly and follow safety rules.
That still applies. Teaching Crystal the rules will reinforce them.
Hearing Jaime's explanation of why the rule exists is just plain
interesting. Crystal can be a wonderful insight into Jaime's world.
Through Crystal, Jaime can act out how she feels and can show others
what she's experienced. For example, if Jaime "punishes" Crystal, how
that's done, exactly, is what Jaime knows as punishment. How she
"teaches" Crystal is similarly telling. The doll is a great tool. But,
Jaime's actions are her own and there are consequences for wrong
actions. Crystal is not an excuse. Jaime can learn how to say no using
Crystal, stopping her own impulsive actions, and learn that even if she
does say no, it'll be ok. She can comfort herself.


 




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