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#1
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paradigms of spanking
PARADIGMS OF PUNISHMENT
Punishment is a penalty for an action, behavior or attitude. The purpose of punishment is to change the response of the individual to prevent future occurrences of the same or similar actions. Methods of punishment are usually directed at causing an undesirable result to the action. This can take many, many forms from shunning to direct physical punishment. The means and actions are almost infinitely variable. As ground rules, where the punished is a child or person to whom the punishment is intended as a correction of their own behavior, it is very important that they be given options and a clear understanding of the reason for and expected results of the punishment, and that they know and understand this prior to the punishment and following the punishment. It is highly important that the punishment be designed and carried out in such a way that no permanent or unnecessary injury occurs to the child or adult, and that the punishment carries sufficient pain or effect to cause remorse for the action. For this paddling is a common historical and good form of punishment. In this the buttocks are paddled, ideally with a softer material paddle that can cause sharp pain via heat, but no deep or lasting injury. Some state laws regarding paddling reinforce this. They require that all physical signs of the punishment, i.e., redness or blistering, be gone within three days. This has been covered in other areas, but again, the sensitivity to pain decreases with age. Older people frequently do not even feel fractures or serious trauma. Babies cry and experience extreme pain from many stimuli that would not cause any pain to an older child or adult. Therefore the rule of no sign of the punishment existing may be fine for teenagers and up, but for smaller children it is too severe. A small child need only cry from physical punishment, and force necessary to cause this. Most young children cry from a light pop on the bottom or two, nothing more is necessary, and increased levels of intensity and duration of a spanking should only be increased as the need for it to cause crying and regret. So a child paddled or punished should not show any sign of the discipline at all after a few minutes to hours as they grow up. An adult or older kid that handles pain and needs a reminder to linger to instill regret is different, and the guideline set by law in some venues makes sense. In any case no physical evidence of a paddling should remain after three days in the most severe forms of corporal punishment in my opinion. The person paddled should be fully aware of the reason and expected changes in behavior prior to the paddling. As well they should understand that they are loved and the paddling is to correct their behavior, attitude or an action, and is not directed at them as a person. Paddling or other punishment is generally necessary where no remorse occurs, or the person feels to regret other than being caught for doing something. Speeding or running in the hall for example. We receive fines in adult life for this, and reduce our speed. However, it is highly unlikely that any of us feel any real repentance for speeding in which no one is hurt and we are driving safely other than this penalty. The fines and threat of fines do prevent us from speeding though. The same is true of children running in the halls at school. If they did this, it would cause accidents and injuries, just as speeding does. It is immoral, or wrong? NO!! So the kid is sorry they are caught and paddled if that is the punishment, and will avoid running in the hall, but there would be no remorse or behavior change without punishment. Other things which have a moral point, stealing for example may need to be punished physically at first in a child that does not have the concept of stealing being wrong. However, as they mature, and develop a conscious about such things, punishment is more and more unlikely because the morals of the person prevent the behavior. Where these morals are not intact and yet formed, punishment is more needed. This is the reason that punishment is almost always a childhood thing. It is part of learning morays, and adapting to the values of our culture. Once this is done, punishment is more rare, although usually more severe. One area of punishment that I woke up thinking about this morning was of this nature. For most of us adults, it takes three weeks to break a pattern or behavior. Smoking, etc., if the person quits for 21 days it is likely to work. If they don't, they are far more likely to go back to smoking. Fitting punishment for more sever crimes, and I do mean crimes here. This is not applicable to running in the hall or speeding. I would restrict this form of punishment to an alternative for things that would usually result in jail sentences, or severe moral failures, adultery perhaps etc. In correcting these sorts of behaviors, the punished party, their family and or others that love them would be involved as well as teams of behavior modification people that would work with them all intently for 21 days rather than getting a year in jail etc. For adultery which is a death penalty crime in most countries, this could be substituted, correcting the behavior of a loved mate is far far better than killing them!! In fact this is strictly in accordance with the Koran. The stoning of adulters is not! Arab custom and older more pagan brutality was substituted for true Islamic teaching even in Muslim countries. In the Koran it calls of a free person caught in adultery, or fornication to receive 100 lashes. A slave gets 50. Since slavery is not very common at this point, the 100 lashes would be the common penalty. In my definition, paddling, 50-100 at one time is too much. For one too much damage can be done to the buttocks, and the pain is excessive. What is the desired result it the person having a good cry, pain in the buttocks necessary to cause this, and possibly a sore bottom for up to three days to remind them of their actions. 10-13 licks with a well designed paddle can cause this. What if we follow the Koran and do the 100 lashes, but do it over 21 days, at three day intervals. Properly done, the person would sit down and discuss the act, come to a realization of their error, then have the same punishment every three days over a 21 day period, with counseling and behavior modification, as well as frank and open discussion of why they did it with the spouse and them working together to prevent the need for such actions in the future as well as correcting their own behavior. At the end of 21 days of such a procedure, with 7 good paddlings, crying, discussing and regretting it, and correcting the causes and behavior patterns, it is far far more likely that the person would not do the same thing again. Adultery this is clear enough. It would also work for stealing and most other crimes against others or society in implanting long term behavior modifications. I think this form of behavior modification would also be a good judicial model. What if courts sentenced people for acts which require behavior modification to a 21 day jail sentence with this program, rather than just locking them up for a year or more for a post graduate education in crime? In a judicial or group system, I strongly favor that all punishment be public. A major factor in a lot of male crime is the macho image. Gang members and leaders live and die by a tough code of ethics and behavior. Being bent over a desk and paddled till they are in tears, then having to apologize for their actions does not fit this mold. It would help deter others from doing the same thing. It would deter some criminals that would face the gallows with bravado and not change their actions because it would allow them to still look tough to the end. They would change their actions if they had to be recorded and face their peers with tears after a good paddling. What do you think? This is just a proposal, not written in stone. ..Modifications, deletions and additions are welcome. I know there are good studies on behavior modification, and I know that permissiveness in the homes and schools with no discipline leads to a higher incidence of crime and incarceration. I would like professional opinions on this. This sort of long term punishment would again be for serious habitual sort of offences. A good single paddling is all most kids need to keep them in line, and this kind of prolonged punishment would likely be highly inappropriate for them, unless they have a habitual behavior of a serious nature. I hope you understand my direction here. I do not like giving physical punishment, however, I appreciate that it works. In this area our society has, in my opinion, gone completely goofy. I do understand that it needs to be controlled and governed closely to prevent injury and excesses, but a good spanking can work wonders and is often effective where no other form of punishment would be, or is practical. Can a paddling be done abusively? I certainly think so, and even think most may be, particularly if the person punished has no idea what they did wrong, or the person giving it does it for the release of their own frustrations. All of us have known people whose moods roll. At one time you can burn down the kitchen and Mom will just laugh and start cleaning it up. At other times she will spank you for looking at her funny. The key is to ALWAYS punish with love, after you have attained emotional detachment and control, and ALWAYS punish for the benefit of the person punished or others, not because of you own feelings, beliefs and emotions. It this were ever set up in a legal system, for this reason I would very carefully pick the jailers allowed to administer the paddlings to screen out all that enjoyed the work too much, and this should be done anyway. I remember, many years ago, I had a co-counselor in a Boy Scout troop. He wanted to be a policeman. He worked out, practiced and did everything he could to get on the LAPD. Every six months he took the test, and they sent him a rejection without explanation. In talking to him we discovered that he always told the psychiatrist on interview the following. The psychiatrist would ask him why he wanted to be a policeman. He would tell him, "Because I want to kill bad guys!" He thought it was a perfect answer. None of us who knew him ever told him why he was being rejected. We thought it was better this way. http://www.e-lovestories.com http://www.lifeknox.com |
#2
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paradigms of spanking
Quit SPAMMING to sell your books or you will be punished.
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#3
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paradigms of spanking
Unfortunately, you do not realize that punishment is a very poor
deterrent. Punishment rarely leads to behavior change, but rather leads to an avoidance of getting caught and punished. Why? Punishment doesn't teach alternative methods or reason for behavioral change. Punishment teaches avoidance of the behavior when the possibility of being apprehended is likely. When driving, how often do you speed if you think the likelihood of being apprehended and punished is slim? Since punishment doesn't teach, and the job of parents is to teach children, there is no reason to punish rather than teach. Would spank a child for not knowing how to read, or would you teach the child to read? Would you spank a child for not knowing how to ride a bicycle, or would you teach the child to ride? Why would you spank a child for misbehaving, rather than teach appropriate behavior? LaVonne Lifeknox wrote: PARADIGMS OF PUNISHMENT Punishment is a penalty for an action, behavior or attitude. The purpose of punishment is to change the response of the individual to prevent future occurrences of the same or similar actions. Methods of punishment are usually directed at causing an undesirable result to the action. This can take many, many forms from shunning to direct physical punishment. The means and actions are almost infinitely variable. As ground rules, where the punished is a child or person to whom the punishment is intended as a correction of their own behavior, it is very important that they be given options and a clear understanding of the reason for and expected results of the punishment, and that they know and understand this prior to the punishment and following the punishment. It is highly important that the punishment be designed and carried out in such a way that no permanent or unnecessary injury occurs to the child or adult, and that the punishment carries sufficient pain or effect to cause remorse for the action. For this paddling is a common historical and good form of punishment. In this the buttocks are paddled, ideally with a softer material paddle that can cause sharp pain via heat, but no deep or lasting injury. Some state laws regarding paddling reinforce this. They require that all physical signs of the punishment, i.e., redness or blistering, be gone within three days. This has been covered in other areas, but again, the sensitivity to pain decreases with age. Older people frequently do not even feel fractures or serious trauma. Babies cry and experience extreme pain from many stimuli that would not cause any pain to an older child or adult. Therefore the rule of no sign of the punishment existing may be fine for teenagers and up, but for smaller children it is too severe. A small child need only cry from physical punishment, and force necessary to cause this. Most young children cry from a light pop on the bottom or two, nothing more is necessary, and increased levels of intensity and duration of a spanking should only be increased as the need for it to cause crying and regret. So a child paddled or punished should not show any sign of the discipline at all after a few minutes to hours as they grow up. An adult or older kid that handles pain and needs a reminder to linger to instill regret is different, and the guideline set by law in some venues makes sense. In any case no physical evidence of a paddling should remain after three days in the most severe forms of corporal punishment in my opinion. The person paddled should be fully aware of the reason and expected changes in behavior prior to the paddling. As well they should understand that they are loved and the paddling is to correct their behavior, attitude or an action, and is not directed at them as a person. Paddling or other punishment is generally necessary where no remorse occurs, or the person feels to regret other than being caught for doing something. Speeding or running in the hall for example. We receive fines in adult life for this, and reduce our speed. However, it is highly unlikely that any of us feel any real repentance for speeding in which no one is hurt and we are driving safely other than this penalty. The fines and threat of fines do prevent us from speeding though. The same is true of children running in the halls at school. If they did this, it would cause accidents and injuries, just as speeding does. It is immoral, or wrong? NO!! So the kid is sorry they are caught and paddled if that is the punishment, and will avoid running in the hall, but there would be no remorse or behavior change without punishment. Other things which have a moral point, stealing for example may need to be punished physically at first in a child that does not have the concept of stealing being wrong. However, as they mature, and develop a conscious about such things, punishment is more and more unlikely because the morals of the person prevent the behavior. Where these morals are not intact and yet formed, punishment is more needed. This is the reason that punishment is almost always a childhood thing. It is part of learning morays, and adapting to the values of our culture. Once this is done, punishment is more rare, although usually more severe. One area of punishment that I woke up thinking about this morning was of this nature. For most of us adults, it takes three weeks to break a pattern or behavior. Smoking, etc., if the person quits for 21 days it is likely to work. If they don't, they are far more likely to go back to smoking. Fitting punishment for more sever crimes, and I do mean crimes here. This is not applicable to running in the hall or speeding. I would restrict this form of punishment to an alternative for things that would usually result in jail sentences, or severe moral failures, adultery perhaps etc. In correcting these sorts of behaviors, the punished party, their family and or others that love them would be involved as well as teams of behavior modification people that would work with them all intently for 21 days rather than getting a year in jail etc. For adultery which is a death penalty crime in most countries, this could be substituted, correcting the behavior of a loved mate is far far better than killing them!! In fact this is strictly in accordance with the Koran. The stoning of adulters is not! Arab custom and older more pagan brutality was substituted for true Islamic teaching even in Muslim countries. In the Koran it calls of a free person caught in adultery, or fornication to receive 100 lashes. A slave gets 50. Since slavery is not very common at this point, the 100 lashes would be the common penalty. In my definition, paddling, 50-100 at one time is too much. For one too much damage can be done to the buttocks, and the pain is excessive. What is the desired result it the person having a good cry, pain in the buttocks necessary to cause this, and possibly a sore bottom for up to three days to remind them of their actions. 10-13 licks with a well designed paddle can cause this. What if we follow the Koran and do the 100 lashes, but do it over 21 days, at three day intervals. Properly done, the person would sit down and discuss the act, come to a realization of their error, then have the same punishment every three days over a 21 day period, with counseling and behavior modification, as well as frank and open discussion of why they did it with the spouse and them working together to prevent the need for such actions in the future as well as correcting their own behavior. At the end of 21 days of such a procedure, with 7 good paddlings, crying, discussing and regretting it, and correcting the causes and behavior patterns, it is far far more likely that the person would not do the same thing again. Adultery this is clear enough. It would also work for stealing and most other crimes against others or society in implanting long term behavior modifications. I think this form of behavior modification would also be a good judicial model. What if courts sentenced people for acts which require behavior modification to a 21 day jail sentence with this program, rather than just locking them up for a year or more for a post graduate education in crime? In a judicial or group system, I strongly favor that all punishment be public. A major factor in a lot of male crime is the macho image. Gang members and leaders live and die by a tough code of ethics and behavior. Being bent over a desk and paddled till they are in tears, then having to apologize for their actions does not fit this mold. It would help deter others from doing the same thing. It would deter some criminals that would face the gallows with bravado and not change their actions because it would allow them to still look tough to the end. They would change their actions if they had to be recorded and face their peers with tears after a good paddling. What do you think? This is just a proposal, not written in stone. .Modifications, deletions and additions are welcome. I know there are good studies on behavior modification, and I know that permissiveness in the homes and schools with no discipline leads to a higher incidence of crime and incarceration. I would like professional opinions on this. This sort of long term punishment would again be for serious habitual sort of offences. A good single paddling is all most kids need to keep them in line, and this kind of prolonged punishment would likely be highly inappropriate for them, unless they have a habitual behavior of a serious nature. I hope you understand my direction here. I do not like giving physical punishment, however, I appreciate that it works. In this area our society has, in my opinion, gone completely goofy. I do understand that it needs to be controlled and governed closely to prevent injury and excesses, but a good spanking can work wonders and is often effective where no other form of punishment would be, or is practical. Can a paddling be done abusively? I certainly think so, and even think most may be, particularly if the person punished has no idea what they did wrong, or the person giving it does it for the release of their own frustrations. All of us have known people whose moods roll. At one time you can burn down the kitchen and Mom will just laugh and start cleaning it up. At other times she will spank you for looking at her funny. The key is to ALWAYS punish with love, after you have attained emotional detachment and control, and ALWAYS punish for the benefit of the person punished or others, not because of you own feelings, beliefs and emotions. It this were ever set up in a legal system, for this reason I would very carefully pick the jailers allowed to administer the paddlings to screen out all that enjoyed the work too much, and this should be done anyway. I remember, many years ago, I had a co-counselor in a Boy Scout troop. He wanted to be a policeman. He worked out, practiced and did everything he could to get on the LAPD. Every six months he took the test, and they sent him a rejection without explanation. In talking to him we discovered that he always told the psychiatrist on interview the following. The psychiatrist would ask him why he wanted to be a policeman. He would tell him, "Because I want to kill bad guys!" He thought it was a perfect answer. None of us who knew him ever told him why he was being rejected. We thought it was better this way. http://www.e-lovestories.com http://www.lifeknox.com |
#4
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paradigms of spanking
i think we all agree, or should that the best interest of the child si what is
important. That is why many of us spank. We believe it is in the best interest of the child |
#5
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paradigms of spanking
LaVonne, Discussing parental spanking with a spanking
and enema Fetishist might give them a sexual thrill. Is that why you do it? I'm sure I could go find a dozen or so MORE spanking fetishists to come over here and seek pleasure from you. Is that what you want? Is that an ulterior motive for Riak? |
#6
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paradigms of spanking
Have you read the Embry study, LaVonne? It is the combination of reward and punishment that seem to be effective. If you really believe that punishment doesn't work, why don't you go down to your local juvenile hall and demand that the children be released? ;--) Doan On Wed, 31 Dec 2003, Carlson LaVonne wrote: Unfortunately, you do not realize that punishment is a very poor deterrent. Punishment rarely leads to behavior change, but rather leads to an avoidance of getting caught and punished. Why? Punishment doesn't teach alternative methods or reason for behavioral change. Punishment teaches avoidance of the behavior when the possibility of being apprehended is likely. When driving, how often do you speed if you think the likelihood of being apprehended and punished is slim? Since punishment doesn't teach, and the job of parents is to teach children, there is no reason to punish rather than teach. Would spank a child for not knowing how to read, or would you teach the child to read? Would you spank a child for not knowing how to ride a bicycle, or would you teach the child to ride? Why would you spank a child for misbehaving, rather than teach appropriate behavior? LaVonne Lifeknox wrote: PARADIGMS OF PUNISHMENT Punishment is a penalty for an action, behavior or attitude. The purpose of punishment is to change the response of the individual to prevent future occurrences of the same or similar actions. Methods of punishment are usually directed at causing an undesirable result to the action. This can take many, many forms from shunning to direct physical punishment. The means and actions are almost infinitely variable. As ground rules, where the punished is a child or person to whom the punishment is intended as a correction of their own behavior, it is very important that they be given options and a clear understanding of the reason for and expected results of the punishment, and that they know and understand this prior to the punishment and following the punishment. It is highly important that the punishment be designed and carried out in such a way that no permanent or unnecessary injury occurs to the child or adult, and that the punishment carries sufficient pain or effect to cause remorse for the action. For this paddling is a common historical and good form of punishment. In this the buttocks are paddled, ideally with a softer material paddle that can cause sharp pain via heat, but no deep or lasting injury. Some state laws regarding paddling reinforce this. They require that all physical signs of the punishment, i.e., redness or blistering, be gone within three days. This has been covered in other areas, but again, the sensitivity to pain decreases with age. Older people frequently do not even feel fractures or serious trauma. Babies cry and experience extreme pain from many stimuli that would not cause any pain to an older child or adult. Therefore the rule of no sign of the punishment existing may be fine for teenagers and up, but for smaller children it is too severe. A small child need only cry from physical punishment, and force necessary to cause this. Most young children cry from a light pop on the bottom or two, nothing more is necessary, and increased levels of intensity and duration of a spanking should only be increased as the need for it to cause crying and regret. So a child paddled or punished should not show any sign of the discipline at all after a few minutes to hours as they grow up. An adult or older kid that handles pain and needs a reminder to linger to instill regret is different, and the guideline set by law in some venues makes sense. In any case no physical evidence of a paddling should remain after three days in the most severe forms of corporal punishment in my opinion. The person paddled should be fully aware of the reason and expected changes in behavior prior to the paddling. As well they should understand that they are loved and the paddling is to correct their behavior, attitude or an action, and is not directed at them as a person. Paddling or other punishment is generally necessary where no remorse occurs, or the person feels to regret other than being caught for doing something. Speeding or running in the hall for example. We receive fines in adult life for this, and reduce our speed. However, it is highly unlikely that any of us feel any real repentance for speeding in which no one is hurt and we are driving safely other than this penalty. The fines and threat of fines do prevent us from speeding though. The same is true of children running in the halls at school. If they did this, it would cause accidents and injuries, just as speeding does. It is immoral, or wrong? NO!! So the kid is sorry they are caught and paddled if that is the punishment, and will avoid running in the hall, but there would be no remorse or behavior change without punishment. Other things which have a moral point, stealing for example may need to be punished physically at first in a child that does not have the concept of stealing being wrong. However, as they mature, and develop a conscious about such things, punishment is more and more unlikely because the morals of the person prevent the behavior. Where these morals are not intact and yet formed, punishment is more needed. This is the reason that punishment is almost always a childhood thing. It is part of learning morays, and adapting to the values of our culture. Once this is done, punishment is more rare, although usually more severe. One area of punishment that I woke up thinking about this morning was of this nature. For most of us adults, it takes three weeks to break a pattern or behavior. Smoking, etc., if the person quits for 21 days it is likely to work. If they don't, they are far more likely to go back to smoking. Fitting punishment for more sever crimes, and I do mean crimes here. This is not applicable to running in the hall or speeding. I would restrict this form of punishment to an alternative for things that would usually result in jail sentences, or severe moral failures, adultery perhaps etc. In correcting these sorts of behaviors, the punished party, their family and or others that love them would be involved as well as teams of behavior modification people that would work with them all intently for 21 days rather than getting a year in jail etc. For adultery which is a death penalty crime in most countries, this could be substituted, correcting the behavior of a loved mate is far far better than killing them!! In fact this is strictly in accordance with the Koran. The stoning of adulters is not! Arab custom and older more pagan brutality was substituted for true Islamic teaching even in Muslim countries. In the Koran it calls of a free person caught in adultery, or fornication to receive 100 lashes. A slave gets 50. Since slavery is not very common at this point, the 100 lashes would be the common penalty. In my definition, paddling, 50-100 at one time is too much. For one too much damage can be done to the buttocks, and the pain is excessive. What is the desired result it the person having a good cry, pain in the buttocks necessary to cause this, and possibly a sore bottom for up to three days to remind them of their actions. 10-13 licks with a well designed paddle can cause this. What if we follow the Koran and do the 100 lashes, but do it over 21 days, at three day intervals. Properly done, the person would sit down and discuss the act, come to a realization of their error, then have the same punishment every three days over a 21 day period, with counseling and behavior modification, as well as frank and open discussion of why they did it with the spouse and them working together to prevent the need for such actions in the future as well as correcting their own behavior. At the end of 21 days of such a procedure, with 7 good paddlings, crying, discussing and regretting it, and correcting the causes and behavior patterns, it is far far more likely that the person would not do the same thing again. Adultery this is clear enough. It would also work for stealing and most other crimes against others or society in implanting long term behavior modifications. I think this form of behavior modification would also be a good judicial model. What if courts sentenced people for acts which require behavior modification to a 21 day jail sentence with this program, rather than just locking them up for a year or more for a post graduate education in crime? In a judicial or group system, I strongly favor that all punishment be public. A major factor in a lot of male crime is the macho image. Gang members and leaders live and die by a tough code of ethics and behavior. Being bent over a desk and paddled till they are in tears, then having to apologize for their actions does not fit this mold. It would help deter others from doing the same thing. It would deter some criminals that would face the gallows with bravado and not change their actions because it would allow them to still look tough to the end. They would change their actions if they had to be recorded and face their peers with tears after a good paddling. What do you think? This is just a proposal, not written in stone. .Modifications, deletions and additions are welcome. I know there are good studies on behavior modification, and I know that permissiveness in the homes and schools with no discipline leads to a higher incidence of crime and incarceration. I would like professional opinions on this. This sort of long term punishment would again be for serious habitual sort of offences. A good single paddling is all most kids need to keep them in line, and this kind of prolonged punishment would likely be highly inappropriate for them, unless they have a habitual behavior of a serious nature. I hope you understand my direction here. I do not like giving physical punishment, however, I appreciate that it works. In this area our society has, in my opinion, gone completely goofy. I do understand that it needs to be controlled and governed closely to prevent injury and excesses, but a good spanking can work wonders and is often effective where no other form of punishment would be, or is practical. Can a paddling be done abusively? I certainly think so, and even think most may be, particularly if the person punished has no idea what they did wrong, or the person giving it does it for the release of their own frustrations. All of us have known people whose moods roll. At one time you can burn down the kitchen and Mom will just laugh and start cleaning it up. At other times she will spank you for looking at her funny. The key is to ALWAYS punish with love, after you have attained emotional detachment and control, and ALWAYS punish for the benefit of the person punished or others, not because of you own feelings, beliefs and emotions. It this were ever set up in a legal system, for this reason I would very carefully pick the jailers allowed to administer the paddlings to screen out all that enjoyed the work too much, and this should be done anyway. I remember, many years ago, I had a co-counselor in a Boy Scout troop. He wanted to be a policeman. He worked out, practiced and did everything he could to get on the LAPD. Every six months he took the test, and they sent him a rejection without explanation. In talking to him we discovered that he always told the psychiatrist on interview the following. The psychiatrist would ask him why he wanted to be a policeman. He would tell him, "Because I want to kill bad guys!" He thought it was a perfect answer. None of us who knew him ever told him why he was being rejected. We thought it was better this way. http://www.e-lovestories.com http://www.lifeknox.com |
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