If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the
furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? I'm sure you can all see where this is going! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. Some of the furniture in question are things that might be handed down to said maurauding toddler in time, or be put into other areas of the home such as a guest room, etc when we are in place with more space and start aquiring more furniture. Opinions? -Karen- |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
dkhedmo wrote:
Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? -Karen- We are also in a small space, and have let our 5.5 yo daughter 'decorate' her own little desk space (stickers, doodles, whatever) as she pleases, but I guess we've successfully drawn the line and she doesnt' attempt such things on the 'nicer' adult furniture if that makes sense. So, no, I'm not real strict about her stuff, although I do expect her not to totally trash her room, but as far smaller stuff we don't mind. cara |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
dkhedmo wrote:
Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? I think the ownership issue is a red herring. Regardless of whether it's mine or theirs, they must still treat it with care. I'm sure you can all see where this is going! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. Personally, at that age I would say that if he cannot use the craft supplies with an age-appropriate amount of care, then the craft supplies get put away and used only when an adult is able to supervise. Actually, even if his behavior is age appropriate, I wouldn't feel that it was okay for him to destroy things and I would make the craft items supervised toys. Best wishes, Ericka |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
In article et,
cara wrote: dkhedmo wrote: Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? -Karen- We are also in a small space, and have let our 5.5 yo daughter 'decorate' her own little desk space (stickers, doodles, whatever) as she pleases, but I guess we've successfully drawn the line and she doesnt' attempt such things on the 'nicer' adult furniture if that makes sense. So, no, I'm not real strict about her stuff, although I do expect her not to totally trash her room, but as far smaller stuff we don't mind. We do the same. My son has his work table (actually a tall coffee-table) that I've given up on, and it gets stuff all over it. That's okay. But he knows that he's not supposed to draw anywhere else, including his bookcase, the little table where he eats breakfast, or his bed, because I don't like how it looks. He does occasionally draw where he shouldn't, of course -- in fact right now he's cleaning some crayon off his playroom wall -- but he's surprisingly good about keeping his arts and crafts stuff on that table. -- Sara accompanied by TK, due in April Quoting, for users of Google Groups: http://groups.google.com/support/bin...4213&topic=250 |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
In article . net,
dkhedmo wrote: Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? I'm sure you can all see where this is going! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. Some of the furniture in question are things that might be handed down to said maurauding toddler in time, or be put into other areas of the home such as a guest room, etc when we are in place with more space and start aquiring more furniture. Opinions? -Karen- There's really two separate questions here (at least) -- so let me try to separate out the two that stand out for me: First, no matter what it's on, if the child is writing on things that aren't supposed to be written on, I'd want the craft supplies out of his reach. And, right now, at least, it sounds like he's not ready to have ready access to stuff like that. However, the other question -- about how much kids should decorate "their" stuff -- that really depended, for me, on several variables: things like cost and size and how good it looked in the first place. Older furniture that was already beat up might be available for decorating, but newer stuff that was in good shape was not. When she was small, my older daughter really liked decorating stuff, and it turned out that she has kind of an interesting flair for it. So she had permission, for example, to do whatever she wanted to the underside of the top bunk (she was sleeping in the bottom bunk) and the back of the dresser that separated "her" space. She used paints, markers, stickers -- all kinds of things. She also asked for permission to decorate lamps and radios. As she got older, she used things like fingernail polish to do some of the decorating of the small electronics that were hers. These days, even her cell phone has interesting paint patterns on it. (She's 23 now.) The main thing was that once I gave her permission to decorate something, exactly what she did was entirely up to her -- I didn't have to give design approval -- and that she could only decorate things that she had PERMISSION to decorate. Her younger brother and sister weren't into it as much. (Which is not to say that none of my kids ever embellished something they weren't supposed to; I don't know many houses with children -- at least with more than one child -- where a kid hasn't gotten to a wall or piece of furniture at least once!) -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
In article . net, dkhedmo
says... Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? I'm sure you can all see where this is going! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. Some of the furniture in question are things that might be handed down to said maurauding toddler in time, or be put into other areas of the home such as a guest room, etc when we are in place with more space and start aquiring more furniture. Opinions? I always taught my son "we want to keep things nice". Tables get lined with paper before a messy project, drawings go on paper. Stickers are (mostly) temporary; I allowed him a few spots, like the sides of the builg-in shelves in his room. It was a bear to remove when I refurbished it eventually. Now we're having some problems with how he goes about his historical miniatures modelling - he's tried out colors on the side of an old hutch unthinkingly! But the concepts are there that stuff isn't just to be trashed. One thing to consider - one of the things that drives me crazy is when my son was younger, or friends with *visiting* children would behave roughly toward my son's stuff, and the parents have an 'oh well they're kids' attitude. I say "oh well they're kids that's why they need to *learn*." What they learn at home *will* be reflected in what they do elsewhere. And they don't unlearn it as quickly as you think. Like, not even by time they're sharing dorm rooms! Banty |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
"dkhedmo" wrote in message ink.net... Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? I would not let my kids to destroy their furniture unless it was something they bought with their own money, which they can't do right now. DS has toys he buys with his own money, which I let him treat any which way he pleases. I warn him if he loses or breaks one, I'm not buying him a new one. The result is he treats the toys he buys with care, since it takes him quite a while to save for anything. |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
After the time when dd#2 at about age 4 wrote on the wall beside her
lower bunk bed with permanent purple crayon, which necessitated repainting the whole room with several coats of paint before we moved (rented house) because it could not be removed, I didn't get anything but washable crayons for them until they were old enough to be trusted not to write on things that they shouldn't write on. My kids weren't that interested in stickers, and I don't remember having any problem with glue either. dkhedmo wrote: Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? The furniture is still mine even though they can use it. We sometimes had furniture from my mom that was mine when I was little and my dd#3 had the spool bed from my great grandfather and great grandmother that she was named for. This was a genuine antique and there was no question that she had to treat it with care. . But generally the non-heirloom furniture that the kids had in their rooms was unfinished furniture that my dh finished, or else I bought it at the junk shop or second hand store. It was often painted. So it wouldn't have been as serious had something happened to it (I got a chest with drawers on one side and hanging area on the other side at a junk shop in downtown Norfolk for $5 in 1961 and after about 15 years of use for baby clothes, ds swung on the door and cracked it off, which was annoying, but I figured I got my money's worth out of it.) I'm sure you can all see where this is going! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. I once carved my initials in the newel post of the house we lived in - I was a bit older than your ds. I know that we didn't move to that house until I was in kindergarten so I was at least 5. I got about halfway through and realized that my mom would know who did it, so I switched and carved my sister's initials instead. (I changed the R to a B.) I heard my mom ask my sister if she had done it, and my sister quite truthfully denied it, and my mom believed her. Even at that age, I knew that what I was doing was wrong. I agree with others - don't let him have things that can be a problem until he is able to use them appropriately. No permanent markers (surely there are other types of markers which can be used just as well) Some of the furniture in question are things that might be handed down to said maurauding toddler in time, or be put into other areas of the home such as a guest room, etc when we are in place with more space and start aquiring more furniture. I also agree that there are things that he can probably decorate as he wishes - like the boom box which isn't a family heirloom and will probably break before it can be passed down. I don't know that mattresses really matter that much if there are marks on them. No one sees them anyway as a general rule. A lamp would annoy me, depending on what kind of lamp it was. But most furniture that I would have in a child's room would be furniture that could be stripped and refinished when it was to be put to a higher use. grandma Rosalie |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
dkhedmo wrote: Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, No. or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? Of course! Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? Wouldn't ever happen. How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? Wouldn't ever happen - the opportunity for those things to be used unsupervised by a child who doesn't know any better simply would never exist. I'm sure you can all see where this is going! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. Then he isn't mature enough to use such items unsupervised. I am sure he has many other toys he can play with in his room. Some of the furniture in question are things that might be handed down to said maurauding toddler in time, or be put into other areas of the home such as a guest room, etc when we are in place with more space and start aquiring more furniture. Opinions? Seems like a no-brainer to me. -L. |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
kids and their furniture?
In article . net,
dkhedmo wrote: Just wondering about how others feel about how your kids treat the furniture you provide for them in their bedrooms and playrooms? Do you feel the stuff is theirs to do with as they please, or do you feel it belongs to the family as a whole and expect things to be treated with a certain amount of care? The latter Do you feel differently about items that are specifically kid sized/designed for kids than you do about regular furniture pieces that are in the kid areas? For example, a kid sized table and chairs set: how would you feel about the child purposefully drawing a picture on the table in marker that could not be removed easily? How would you feel about marker markings on a mattress or dresser? Stickers on a lamp? Glue on the bedding? I would be pretty darn cranky about any of those things. I'm sure you can all see where this is going! Yes, but how on earth did you get there?! We are in a very small place and the only area we can guarantee ds1 5.5yo freedom from the maurauding toddler little brother is his room, which we keep gated off so he can have all his "big boy" stuff, which includes various craft supplies, as ds1 loves to make pictures etc and it keeps him quite happily busy often. Unfortunately, he also tends to space out and do goofy little things without thinking. I don't think he's being purposefully destructive, but it's really annoying to see scribbling on the new boombox, marker on the mattress or sheets, inky fingers smeared on the lamp. He's not old enough to use these things unsupervised if he forgets himself like that. Put them away, and only allow him to use them when he's supervised. Your Ds might not be sitting there going, "Hee hee, I'll graffiti on this sheet so it's ruined," but at 5.5 he *is* aware that sheets are not art materials. It isn't purposeful, but it's destruction nonetheless. The only item that has been disfigured by DS1 around here was an easel. DS was 2, and I didn't notice the "artwork" until later -- simply never thought that he'd use texta on the easel rather than the paper!. The other 'artistic' additions to the house were all perpetrated by Other People's Children. I now know that the art items need to be out of reach of not only DS1, but also the tallest kid at the party... -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) "In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is nothing worth being eager or vigorous about." Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|