Who Is Fighting For Kids?

If I agree with something someone says here, the group attacks.
If I disagree with something someone says here, the group attacks.

My ex doesnt pay support. Last year he paid a total of $2,000 or
167.00 a month on average. He makes about $40,000 a year and then
complains to the CSE office about how he cant afford to live and his
support order is too high (he is ordered to pay about 6000 a year for
two kids, thats 500 a month. He also doesnt have to pay any health
insurance plan amounts as I pick up the tab. My employer offers family
health insurance, but thats still 300 a month!!! I have to have it
too for my sons medical expenses. I PAY the co-pays on everything also
and I meet the deductable each year).

The courts ordered him to pay an additional $100.00 on his arrears, he
calls CSE and complains that he cant afford it. They reduce the
amount to a dollar!!!! He is 15,000 behind in arrears, and no our
state doesnt charge interest on the arrears.

His original support order was made when he was making about $20,000.
I have NOT asked for it to be raised ( which would move it up to
almost 900 a month). On top of all this one of his children is
disabled and he doesn't help with anything.

He has visiation rights and doesn't even bother to see his children.
HE DOESNT, I have nothing to do with this part. I have in the past
begged him to see his children and he refuses because of his sons
problems. I also have make sure my children see at least pictures of
him and we talk about him all the time. I NEVER talk bad about him to
them. That is not right. I will not however make up excuses for him
as to why he isnt involved. If they ask, I simply say "I dont know"
or "thats his choice".

I have worked my ASS OFF full-time, gone to school full-time, taken my
son to all kinds of doctors and specialists and therapist every single
week all to make sure my family is taken care of, im very active with
my children's schools and their extra ciricular activites. He does
nothing.

So, I know that you all think i'm an evil bitch who just wants to get
as much money out of my child's father as I can, but that is simply
not the case.

I do not however agree with a lot of things you guys post here and i'm
willing to be attacked to voice my own opinon.


On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 10:20:28 -0500 (EST), wrote:

FFK ...
On the whole, most contributors here have stated their case. They are
divorced, going through a divorce, or have questions and are here
seeking answers.

I went through a terrible divorce, but am now remarried to a wonderful
woman and have no CS probs now.

What's your story? I have an idea you're a female, with (about) a
$15,000 arrearage owing to you and/or your child.

Wanna comment on that?

Give us some background on yourself.

Maybe then we could understand your zeal. Otherwise, you're going to
seem like just a cranky troll.


nm

I better clarify before someone hits me over the head with club.

"my ex doesnt his ordered support all the time" instead of doesnt pay
support (although he didnt pay support for an entire year, so I guess
its kinda true but not currently)

On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 14:30:22 -0700, Fighting For Kids
wrote:


If I agree with something someone says here, the group attacks.
If I disagree with something someone says here, the group attacks.

My ex doesnt pay support. Last year he paid a total of $2,000 or
167.00 a month on average. He makes about $40,000 a year and then
complains to the CSE office about how he cant afford to live and his
support order is too high (he is ordered to pay about 6000 a year for
two kids, thats 500 a month. He also doesnt have to pay any health
insurance plan amounts as I pick up the tab. My employer offers family
health insurance, but thats still 300 a month!!! I have to have it
too for my sons medical expenses. I PAY the co-pays on everything also
and I meet the deductable each year).

The courts ordered him to pay an additional $100.00 on his arrears, he
calls CSE and complains that he cant afford it. They reduce the
amount to a dollar!!!! He is 15,000 behind in arrears, and no our
state doesnt charge interest on the arrears.

His original support order was made when he was making about $20,000.
I have NOT asked for it to be raised ( which would move it up to
almost 900 a month). On top of all this one of his children is
disabled and he doesn't help with anything.

He has visiation rights and doesn't even bother to see his children.
HE DOESNT, I have nothing to do with this part. I have in the past
begged him to see his children and he refuses because of his sons
problems. I also have make sure my children see at least pictures of
him and we talk about him all the time. I NEVER talk bad about him to
them. That is not right. I will not however make up excuses for him
as to why he isnt involved. If they ask, I simply say "I dont know"
or "thats his choice".

I have worked my ASS OFF full-time, gone to school full-time, taken my
son to all kinds of doctors and specialists and therapist every single
week all to make sure my family is taken care of, im very active with
my children's schools and their extra ciricular activites. He does
nothing.

So, I know that you all think i'm an evil bitch who just wants to get
as much money out of my child's father as I can, but that is simply
not the case.

I do not however agree with a lot of things you guys post here and i'm
willing to be attacked to voice my own opinon.


On Wed, 12 Nov 2003 10:20:28 -0500 (EST), wrote:

FFK ...
On the whole, most contributors here have stated their case. They are
divorced, going through a divorce, or have questions and are here
seeking answers.

I went through a terrible divorce, but am now remarried to a wonderful
woman and have no CS probs now.

What's your story? I have an idea you're a female, with (about) a
$15,000 arrearage owing to you and/or your child.

Wanna comment on that?

Give us some background on yourself.

Maybe then we could understand your zeal. Otherwise, you're going to
seem like just a cranky troll.


nm

FFK ...
I can (now) see why you are so bitter.

I doubt very seriously anyone would dispute you have gotten the short
end of the stick. With your ex only paying 5% of his income for CS, I'd
be ****ed too, if I were you.

Just what kind of pull does this joker have that he can get away so
cheap? Is he bribing somebody, or does he have someone at Friend of the
Court in his pocket?

FFK, I'm gonna assume you're in Mi. (due to that Cox thread) If you
can't get your CS straighten out here, you ain't gonna get it staight
anywhere.

If you're in Wayne, Macolmb, and particularly Oakland county, if your CS
isn't right, YOU are doing something awfully wrong, or you're not doing
anything, At All.

I know, just as well as you should, no matter what his present situation
is, he owes you (like) $600-$800 a month or so easily, based on a 40k a
year income. That's two kid's, right?

You can't say 'they' look at your income, 'cause in most states,
particularly Mi., that counts for little, if anything.

I don't say you should try to 'bleed' the guy, but for krys sake, get
what's fair.
$2k a year ain't ****. Double that is only 10% of his income.
You know what you gotta do. Do it.

nm

You are only heraring one side of the story, and just like all her posts, I
bet it is full of wrong ASSumptions and exagerations. Also if she acts this
way in court, it would be no wonder if the judge was just plain tired of all
of her BS.

wrote in message
...
FFK ...
I can (now) see why you are so bitter.

I doubt very seriously anyone would dispute you have gotten the short
end of the stick. With your ex only paying 5% of his income for CS, I'd
be ****ed too, if I were you.

Just what kind of pull does this joker have that he can get away so
cheap? Is he bribing somebody, or does he have someone at Friend of the
Court in his pocket?

FFK, I'm gonna assume you're in Mi. (due to that Cox thread) If you
can't get your CS straighten out here, you ain't gonna get it staight
anywhere.

If you're in Wayne, Macolmb, and particularly Oakland county, if your CS
isn't right, YOU are doing something awfully wrong, or you're not doing
anything, At All.

I know, just as well as you should, no matter what his present situation
is, he owes you (like) $600-$800 a month or so easily, based on a 40k a
year income. That's two kid's, right?

You can't say 'they' look at your income, 'cause in most states,
particularly Mi., that counts for little, if anything.

I don't say you should try to 'bleed' the guy, but for krys sake, get
what's fair.
$2k a year ain't ****. Double that is only 10% of his income.
You know what you gotta do. Do it.

nm

I wish that I was exagerating this, but im not.

I have fought for 5 years and just got tired of it. The CSE office
unfortuneately doesn't even know their own rules and regs. My state
doesnt put emphasis on the chldren as clearly demonstrated by their
own expenditures on education and other child related services.

Do I spend all my time and energy on a deadbeat or do I spend my time
finding other ways to support my children and take care of my sons
extraordinary needs?

I have taken on almost all (except the small amount he contributes) my
child's expenses on my own.

I have said I dont agree with the system. I dont go into court and
ask for him to pay more because I feel he shouldnt have to pay 800 + a
month for supporting his children.




On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 08:34:26 -0500, "Paul Fritz"
wrote:

You are only heraring one side of the story, and just like all her posts, I
bet it is full of wrong ASSumptions and exagerations. Also if she acts this
way in court, it would be no wonder if the judge was just plain tired of all
of her BS.

On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 02:36:53 -0500 (EST), wrote:

FFK ...
I can (now) see why you are so bitter.

Im not bitter about Child Support. I dont agree with some of the
views here and as an American I can voice my disagreement. Just
because I dont agree with a comment someone makes doesnt mean im a bad
evil person.


I doubt very seriously anyone would dispute you have gotten the short
end of the stick. With your ex only paying 5% of his income for CS, I'd
be ****ed too, if I were you.

Oh im sure there will be. Paul just did.


Just what kind of pull does this joker have that he can get away so
cheap? Is he bribing somebody, or does he have someone at Friend of the
Court in his pocket?

Ive pretty much come to the conclusion that someone at social services
knows him. He just gets away with too much. However, when I talk to
other mothers and fathers who deal with CSE I hear very similar
things. Their offices dont work. I think the entire system is
screwed up, bad for both sides.



FFK, I'm gonna assume you're in Mi. (due to that Cox thread) If you
can't get your CS straighten out here, you ain't gonna get it staight
anywhere.

No, just thought it was interesting. Im not in MI.


If you're in Wayne, Macolmb, and particularly Oakland county, if your CS
isn't right, YOU are doing something awfully wrong, or you're not doing
anything, At All.

Ive filed my own contempt charges because the CSE office has done
nothing. The judge gave him another chance. Then he disappeared and
no one can ever find him. Ive tried to file additional contempt
charges but his "friends" hide him.

I know, just as well as you should, no matter what his present situation
is, he owes you (like) $600-$800 a month or so easily, based on a 40k a
year income. That's two kid's, right?

Two children, yes. One has a disability and I pay everything my
insurance doesnt cover out of my own pocket and trust me its
expensive.


You can't say 'they' look at your income, 'cause in most states,
particularly Mi., that counts for little, if anything.

They did look at mine. As a matter of fact since I make more than him
it comes out that he pays less than if he made more than me by almost
half.


I don't say you should try to 'bleed' the guy, but for krys sake, get
what's fair.
$2k a year ain't ****. Double that is only 10% of his income.
You know what you gotta do. Do it.

Im tired of fighting with the system. When I fought I got the same
amount that I get know. Its just not worth the effort anymore. I
provide for my children and they get their needs met. It would be
nice for him to "chip" in but I dont think that will ever happen.

nm

FFK ...
Just where are you?

Is there no way (like a civil action) that you can get what's fair?
Jeezus, with a disabled child, if you were here in Mi, you could tear
your ex a new ass.

How 'bout trying something different. What about getting the folks who
work in the disabled children's organizations to lean on some folks who
have some pull?
They have a lot of grunt with the politicians, because disabled kids
just DO NOT get messed around with.
The disabled are high on everybody's priority list, and that in itself
should get things turned around, IMO.

nm

On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 15:08:44 -0500 (EST), wrote:

FFK ...
Just where are you?

I would rather not say as this is a public forum. If you catch my
drift. In the states.


Is there no way (like a civil action) that you can get what's fair?

I could go in and rip a new ass if I really wanted to since he is
making more, and has a disabled child. However, im not vicious. I
just want him to pay what he was ordered.

Jeezus, with a disabled child, if you were here in Mi, you could tear
your ex a new ass.

Since my son is now in school it makes a HUGE amount of difference
financially. It was extremely expensive before because 'daycare" was
unavailable to him. I had to pay out of pocket for a person to come
in. At one point I lost my job because I couldnt find anyone to care
for him. It was awful. I still didnt ask for "help", I was smart
enough to save up enough money to get me through it.


How 'bout trying something different. What about getting the folks who
work in the disabled children's organizations to lean on some folks who
have some pull?

These people contact the officals so much they have warn out their
ties. Now its more like they demand something be done and the
politicans dont listen anymore. Its rather sad.

There "were" some good programs that were available for families but
all have been cut because of the overall budget cuts.

They have a lot of grunt with the politicians, because disabled kids
just DO NOT get messed around with.
The disabled are high on everybody's priority list, and that in itself
should get things turned around, IMO.

The CSE office knows my son is disabled and doesnt give a rats ass.
The worker we used to have said it didnt matter that my son was
disabled and required more care. She told me I had to figure out how
to meet those needs on my own. I told her I had no objection to
meeting his needs, afterall ive been doing it for some time now. All
I was asking is that she enforce the child support order. She said
she couldnt get into the all the details about this case because she
only acts as a neutral third party.

Neutral third party my ASS!!



nm

On Thu, 13 Nov 2003 15:08:44 -0500 (EST), wrote:

FFK ...
Just where are you?

I would rather not say as this is a public forum. If you catch my
drift. In the states.


Is there no way (like a civil action) that you can get what's fair?

I could go in and rip a new ass if I really wanted to since he is
making more, and has a disabled child. However, im not vicious. I
just want him to pay what he was ordered.

Jeezus, with a disabled child, if you were here in Mi, you could tear
your ex a new ass.

Since my son is now in school it makes a HUGE amount of difference
financially. It was extremely expensive before because 'daycare" was
unavailable to him. I had to pay out of pocket for a person to come
in. At one point I lost my job because I couldnt find anyone to care
for him. It was awful. I still didnt ask for "help", I was smart
enough to save up enough money to get me through it.


How 'bout trying something different. What about getting the folks who
work in the disabled children's organizations to lean on some folks who
have some pull?

These people contact the officals so much they have warn out their
ties. Now its more like they demand something be done and the
politicans dont listen anymore. Its rather sad.

There "were" some good programs that were available for families but
all have been cut because of the overall budget cuts.

They have a lot of grunt with the politicians, because disabled kids
just DO NOT get messed around with.
The disabled are high on everybody's priority list, and that in itself
should get things turned around, IMO.

The CSE office knows my son is disabled and doesnt give a rats ass.
The worker we used to have said it didnt matter that my son was
disabled and required more care. She told me I had to figure out how
to meet those needs on my own. I told her I had no objection to
meeting his needs, afterall ive been doing it for some time now. All
I was asking is that she enforce the child support order. She said
she couldnt get into the all the details about this case because she
only acts as a neutral third party.

Neutral third party my ASS!!



nm

FFK ...
You said you had to leave your job for a while to take care of your
child. The state you're in must be totally behind the rest of the
country in taking care of it's disabled kids if you received no help, or
were offered no help with that child.

Have you checked with neighboring states, or another state? Maybe moving
to a state that took care of it's kids would be better than where you're
at now.
You sure as hell couldn't be much worse off when it comes to the CS, and
maybe another state wouldn't be so 'tolerant'.


I just can't believe their total indifference to your/a special needs
child.
Maybe 'cause it's not that way here.


nm