Am I being totally nutty?

I popped into the doctors yesterday to tell him I was pregnant and do the
form filling in, suddenly I find I am on a rollercoaster, I'm expected to
see the midwife, book in for a scan, then blood work and another scan and it
just drove me up the wall, you will have a scan, not you may have a scan.
I'm seriously considering not giving the midwife a call, particularly as the
receptionist was really rude when I said I couldn't make Tuesday afternoons
and she only does appointments on Tuesday afternoons. My feelings now are
not to call her when she's back from holiday next week and just get on with
things, I'm not sure I can face the "actually I won't be going for a scan"
conversation, particularly as I'm not sure of my dates, so the come back
will be "we need to check your dates". The medical profession is making me
very cross right now. I got given this pink sheet of paper, which basically
said this is what you will do. I don't think I will go for an unassisted
delivery or even an unassisted pregnancy, I'm quite happy that some checks
are useful in the normal state that is pregnancy, but I hate being told
exactly what I am going to do, grrr, this is making me sooo cross right now,
I wish I had choice, something that doesn't seem to exist in the NHS, but we
really can't afford to go with an independent midwife.

Hi Anne

Ignore the receptionist she sounds like a right old bat!!!! she will not be
dealing with you. Hopefully you midwife will be better, I would suggest you
make an appointment to meet her. She is there to advise you if what is
available to you, and go through all your options. It is YOUR choice if you
decide you do not want any of the treatment such as scans or any other
tests, bloods are useful but any thing is totally your decision.
Unfortunately there are some midwives who are bullies and will try to
'persuade' you to have stuff, if you are not happy stand your ground or tell
the midwife that you don't think that you will be able to have her care for
you, because you understood she was supposed to be your advocate and as her
views are so different from your own you don't think she will be, that will
work a treat.

Hope you get what you want

Helen
Madeline 17/5/04
one little angel 18/10/04

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
news:1098318993.A+WrY2eHRy9tXsW1v4yHrg@teranews...
I popped into the doctors yesterday to tell him I was pregnant and do the
form filling in, suddenly I find I am on a rollercoaster, I'm expected to
see the midwife, book in for a scan, then blood work and another scan and
it just drove me up the wall, you will have a scan, not you may have a
scan. I'm seriously considering not giving the midwife a call, particularly
as the receptionist was really rude when I said I couldn't make Tuesday
afternoons and she only does appointments on Tuesday afternoons. My
feelings now are not to call her when she's back from holiday next week and
just get on with things, I'm not sure I can face the "actually I won't be
going for a scan" conversation, particularly as I'm not sure of my dates,
so the come back will be "we need to check your dates". The medical
profession is making me very cross right now. I got given this pink sheet
of paper, which basically said this is what you will do. I don't think I
will go for an unassisted delivery or even an unassisted pregnancy, I'm
quite happy that some checks are useful in the normal state that is
pregnancy, but I hate being told exactly what I am going to do, grrr, this
is making me sooo cross right now, I wish I had choice, something that
doesn't seem to exist in the NHS, but we really can't afford to go with an
independent midwife.

In message 1098318993.A+WrY2eHRy9tXsW1v4yHrg@teranews, Anne Rogers
writes
I popped into the doctors yesterday to tell him I was pregnant and do the
form filling in, suddenly I find I am on a rollercoaster, I'm expected to
see the midwife, book in for a scan, then blood work and another scan and it
just drove me up the wall, you will have a scan, not you may have a scan.
I'm seriously considering not giving the midwife a call, particularly as the
receptionist was really rude when I said I couldn't make Tuesday afternoons
and she only does appointments on Tuesday afternoons. My feelings now are
not to call her when she's back from holiday next week and just get on with
things, I'm not sure I can face the "actually I won't be going for a scan"
conversation, particularly as I'm not sure of my dates, so the come back
will be "we need to check your dates". The medical profession is making me
very cross right now. I got given this pink sheet of paper, which basically
said this is what you will do. I don't think I will go for an unassisted
delivery or even an unassisted pregnancy, I'm quite happy that some checks
are useful in the normal state that is pregnancy, but I hate being told
exactly what I am going to do, grrr, this is making me sooo cross right now,
I wish I had choice, something that doesn't seem to exist in the NHS, but we
really can't afford to go with an independent midwife.

This sounds like a total pain for you, and exactly how it shouldn't be
handled. But do remember that a) just because your doctor was like this
doesn't mean your midwife will be, b) even if your midwife does start
out by assuming that you'll have a scan, that doesn't mean she'll be
unwilling to stop and listen to your POV once you make it clear you have
a different opinion, and c) if you really find you have problems with
your midwife, you can always request a different one.

So - give the midwife a chance. If she's being obstructive, just say
"Well, this is important to me - is there another midwife who could take
care of me who'd be more willing to meet my needs?"

And many congratulations on the pregnancy!


All the best,

Sarah

--
"I once requested an urgent admission for a homeopath who had become depressed
and taken a massive underdose" - Phil Peverley

exactly my thoughts!!!
"Sarah Vaughan" wrote in message
...
In message 1098318993.A+WrY2eHRy9tXsW1v4yHrg@teranews, Anne Rogers
writes
I popped into the doctors yesterday to tell him I was pregnant and do the
form filling in, suddenly I find I am on a rollercoaster, I'm expected to
see the midwife, book in for a scan, then blood work and another scan and
it
just drove me up the wall, you will have a scan, not you may have a scan.
I'm seriously considering not giving the midwife a call, particularly as
the
receptionist was really rude when I said I couldn't make Tuesday
afternoons
and she only does appointments on Tuesday afternoons. My feelings now are
not to call her when she's back from holiday next week and just get on
with
things, I'm not sure I can face the "actually I won't be going for a scan"
conversation, particularly as I'm not sure of my dates, so the come back
will be "we need to check your dates". The medical profession is making me
very cross right now. I got given this pink sheet of paper, which
basically
said this is what you will do. I don't think I will go for an unassisted
delivery or even an unassisted pregnancy, I'm quite happy that some checks
are useful in the normal state that is pregnancy, but I hate being told
exactly what I am going to do, grrr, this is making me sooo cross right
now,
I wish I had choice, something that doesn't seem to exist in the NHS, but
we
really can't afford to go with an independent midwife.

This sounds like a total pain for you, and exactly how it shouldn't be
handled. But do remember that a) just because your doctor was like this
doesn't mean your midwife will be, b) even if your midwife does start out
by assuming that you'll have a scan, that doesn't mean she'll be unwilling
to stop and listen to your POV once you make it clear you have a different
opinion, and c) if you really find you have problems with your midwife,
you can always request a different one.

So - give the midwife a chance. If she's being obstructive, just say
"Well, this is important to me - is there another midwife who could take
care of me who'd be more willing to meet my needs?"

And many congratulations on the pregnancy!


All the best,

Sarah

--
"I once requested an urgent admission for a homeopath who had become
depressed
and taken a massive underdose" - Phil Peverley

This sounds like a total pain for you, and exactly how it shouldn't be
handled. But do remember that a) just because your doctor was like this
doesn't mean your midwife will be, b) even if your midwife does start out
by assuming that you'll have a scan, that doesn't mean she'll be unwilling
to stop and listen to your POV once you make it clear you have a different
opinion, and c) if you really find you have problems with your midwife,
you can always request a different one.

I know the midwife as it's the same one as last time, she will initially
assume, but almost certainly will be helpful in doing it my way. She's well
known in the area and well thought of, so I'd be unlikely to find someone
better within the NHS.

"Anne Rogers" wrote
I popped into the doctors yesterday to tell him I was pregnant and do the
form filling in, suddenly I find I am on a rollercoaster, I'm expected to
see the midwife, book in for a scan, then blood work and another scan and
it just drove me up the wall, you will have a scan, not you may have a
scan. I'm seriously considering not giving the midwife a call, particularly
as the receptionist was really rude when I said I couldn't make Tuesday
afternoons and she only does appointments on Tuesday afternoons.

I was there exactly a few weeks ago. Although the OB seemed nice, her
schedule and my nanny schedule didn't meld and her receptionists were very
strict on, "The doctor needs to see you on that day or it's too late."
Phooey on them. I switched OB's (midwives aren't available around here). I
would suggest a few things:
- see if you can meet with anouther midwife whose schedule works with yours
- have an early conversation with both the OB and the midwife about how you
would like to make decisions (with input from them) about how your pg will
be managed by them
- bring your DH if it starts to get hairy or if you don't think you can
stand up for yourself (not unreasonable given that you're pg and some
OB/midwives are bullies)

Good luck!
--
Melissa (in Los Angeles)
Mum to Elizabeth 4/13/03
and ??? due early 3/05