xpost: coping w/becoming a SAHM?

On Mon, 26 Jul 2004 20:15:49 EDT, nameless_wonder
wrote:

Donna Metler wrote:

So, what
kind of things can I do to keep myself from going insane during these next
few months, when I'm supposed to be resting, avoiding stress, and preparing
for the baby?

Usenet!



Umm... she said she wanted to avoid stress ;-)

Nick

--
Nick Theodorakis

contact form:
http://theodorakis.net/contact.html

dragonlady wrote:

BTDT. It could well be clinical depression.

In which case you may have to FORCE yourself to get out of the house,
and get active.

In my opinion, don't stop there. Getting out and about is a good
recommendation. But if that doesn't help, or it doesn't help enough, please see
a doctor. A good place to start is with your GP, who will probably schedule you
for a physical. And from there, see what happens.

Depression is treatable.

beeswing

"Maria Danielle Darst" wrote in message
...

"Ericka Kammerer" wrote in message
...

Have you decided to make this arrangement permanent?
Or is this just a stop-gap measure until you can find another
job?
I think the main thing to surviving being a SAHM,
particularly if you're not temperamentally suited to it,
is to get out as much as possible.

Quite honestly, I don't feel like getting out of the house. It seems to be
a
massive effort to even get out of bed in the mornings.

It sounds like maybe you're a bit depressed. That's not surprising, given
that you've recently lost your job and income! You *really* need to try
pushing yourself out and getting some pleasure. If you truly cannot do it,
then I hope you will consider seeking professional help.

When I lost my job, pretty much all of the extras got cut out, like the
gym
membership. So basically if I'm going to get them out, then it needs to be
something we can do for free. The kids aren't used to sitting around the
house either, they are ususally with other kids or at the very least
running
errands with the babysitter.

It can be tough to find free things to do, but it's possible. Remember the
library, parks and playgrounds, friends, the backyard! What did you used to
enjoy doing with the kids on the weekends? Can you afford to do just one
thing that requires money per week? Some museums and centers have free days
or hours or days when you can make a "donation" of your choice. Call around.
I bet, also, that your 3 YO would be free in a number of places.

You can also add stucture to your day without just going out (but you still
need to leave the house at least once a day -- how can you help it?). How
about picking a topic to learn about each week? This week could be whales.
Go to the library and get out books about whales and a movie about whales.
Next week it could be China. Get library books, watch Mulan, then end the
week with a home-made Chinese meal if you can't afford to splurge on
takeout. Or whatever! You need structure and something to think about and to
find a way to have fun with the kids. It isn't their fault you lost your
job. (And while you're at the library, set them up with a few books and do
some job-hunting research.)

I don't think that this is going to be a permanent arrangement, we're just
out of money for anything but the bills...so the daycare had to go.


Sure, and anyway, wouldn't it feel strange to send the kids into daycare
while you were at home, not working? Good luck.

Bruce Bridgman and Jeanne Yang wrote in
:


"Donna Metler" wrote in message
. ..
[snip]
When I was home alone while pregnant with DD (and newly arrived in a new
city, so I knew almost no one who stayed at home), I walked a lot (and met
the neighbors that way), decorated the house, read a lot, visited the
library, went to movies. Luckily, we live near DC so the museums are free
[snip]

Oh yes, I remember reading lots of the classics: things like Wuthering
Heights and The Adventures of Hucleberry Finn.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:


It can be tough to find free things to do, but it's possible. Remember the
library, parks and playgrounds, friends, the backyard! What did you used to
enjoy doing with the kids on the weekends? Can you afford to do just one
thing that requires money per week? Some museums and centers have free days
or hours or days when you can make a "donation" of your choice. Call around.
I bet, also, that your 3 YO would be free in a number of places.

A lot of libraries have free passes available for local attractions as
well. Check with your local children's librarians -- they should be able
to point you to free or very inexpensive activities you can do with the
kids. Our library's children's room is stocked with toys and activities
that are rotated every month around a new theme -- when my now 8yo was
3 and we were new in town, we used to spend almost every morning playing
there. We met lots of other families with kids his age that way too.

Good luck!

--Robyn

On Mon, 26 Jul 2004 15:30:33 EDT, "Donna Metler"
wrote:

Kind of on the same note-rather than having to miss regularly for prenatals
and have my students have to adjust to a new teacher halfway through the
year, we decided that I should start staying home this fall while pregnant,
instead of waiting until the baby comes. That sounded great in May, when I
turned in my letter of intent. But now school starts next week, and I'm
already bored. I don't really have any friends who don't work, at least
during the school year, and while there are playgroups and activities for
mommys with babies, there aren't exactly playgroups for fetuses! So, what
kind of things can I do to keep myself from going insane during these next
few months, when I'm supposed to be resting, avoiding stress, and preparing
for the baby?

REad, watch, videos. Are you allowed to walk? Go to the bookstore,
have whatever your allowed to drink and read. Pick up a hobby that
one can do sitting down, quilting, needlepoint, whatever. pick some
thing new to learn about and then begin it - buy the supplies and
start.

I love my job but can you tell that the list of things I want to do is
endless?

On Mon, 26 Jul 2004 16:21:40 EDT, toto wrote:

On Mon, 26 Jul 2004 12:56:45 EDT, "Maria Danielle Darst"
wrote:

When I lost my job, pretty much all of the extras got cut out, like the gym
membership. So basically if I'm going to get them out, then it needs to be
something we can do for free. The kids aren't used to sitting around the
house either, they are ususally with other kids or at the very least running
errands with the babysitter.

Okay

This is all with the caveat that I dont remember your kids ages. NOt
all these things are "getting out" Some are doing for kids and some
are for you. MOst are right now "summer things" I used to do family
day care and kids programs for counties that had no disposable income,
so I will be back with more.

Take the kids to the park, pack an picnic sit on the grass, and watch
them play.

Go to the mall (I know.) walk up and down all the floors. Take the
kids to the pet shop if there is one, into the bookstore. Malls have
regular activities like music groups, kids things and the like.

Look for a Zaney Brainy (are they still around??) Kind of place. They
used to host craft, reading and video stuff for free.

I dont remember how old your kids are. Libraries generally have
reading and activitiy groups for kids starting at age two or so.

Go for a walk in a different direction or to a different place daily
Make a list of things in your neighborhood that you would like to see
explore (every neighborhood has some things)

See if there are any at home or home for the summer moms that would
like to start a playgroup or a babysitting coop or a mothers group.
Dont just assume that because you have been working and that they are
at home you have nothing in common. And/or Find where the other
parents take their kids, and you will probably meet parents there.

Make your husband stay home at least one evening and have that be your
time. Go to a study group, fre lecture, homemakers group.

Start a hobby or start to learn something you have always wanted to
(this isnt a get out of the house thing but.). Make a small
investment and start. Take a barnes and noble or other free course
online.

Start writing a historyu of your families for when your kids grow up.
Our childrens children should be a good book and should be in the
library.

To do with the kids: Make homeade playdough, take it outside or put
down paper and get really really really messy. puyt out the sprinkler
and have a back yard party. Start teaching them to sew, knit or
whatever, I taught my kids the beginning in preschool.

Rearrange the kids rooms and see what you can do without spending any
money to create a new look. Do the same for other areas of the house.

I live in Washington DC where all the museums and so on are free or
nominal. Surely where you live there must be either free days or
something like that, and if so they are usually in the summer.

Ill be back........

Barb

Also-Michaels and Hobby Lobby have free and cheap craft classes for
kids-usually you just pay for materials, and sometimes not even that-so if
your kids are old enough, it might be fun.

I remember one summer when we were away from home because my dad was doing
an REU out of town. I think we attended 4 VBS's that year!

"Robyn Kozierok" wrote in message
news
In article , Beth Gallagher wrote:


It can be tough to find free things to do, but it's possible. Remember
the
library, parks and playgrounds, friends, the backyard! What did you used
to
enjoy doing with the kids on the weekends? Can you afford to do just one
thing that requires money per week? Some museums and centers have free
days
or hours or days when you can make a "donation" of your choice. Call
around.
I bet, also, that your 3 YO would be free in a number of places.

A lot of libraries have free passes available for local attractions as
well. Check with your local children's librarians -- they should be able
to point you to free or very inexpensive activities you can do with the
kids. Our library's children's room is stocked with toys and activities
that are rotated every month around a new theme -- when my now 8yo was
3 and we were new in town, we used to spend almost every morning playing
there. We met lots of other families with kids his age that way too.

There's a theater in our area with free movies for the summer at 10am on
Tuesdays and Wednesdays. You could check here to see if they have them in
your area http://www.regalcinemas.com/family_film/ Be aware, the theater in
my area that has it is not listed in that website, so you may try just
checking with your local chain to see if they do it.

In article ,
Donna Metler wrote:
Kind of on the same note-rather than having to miss regularly for prenatals
and have my students have to adjust to a new teacher halfway through the
year, we decided that I should start staying home this fall while pregnant,
instead of waiting until the baby comes. That sounded great in May, when I
turned in my letter of intent. But now school starts next week, and I'm
already bored. I don't really have any friends who don't work, at least
during the school year, and while there are playgroups and activities for
mommys with babies, there aren't exactly playgroups for fetuses! So, what
kind of things can I do to keep myself from going insane during these next
few months, when I'm supposed to be resting, avoiding stress, and preparing
for the baby?

That's tougher. Do you have a hobby? I ended up spending a lot of
time when I was pregnant with my first in the library doing genealogy
research. If you knit or sew or have other creative skills, there are
obvious baby-related projects on which you could embark. Or you could
do something totally non-baby-related just for a change.

You could also sign up to do substitute teaching to keep you in touch
with your teaching friends and give you something to do without it being
a long-term commitment.

As far as getting out and meeting other new moms-to-be, perhaps you
could take a prenatal exercise class, or attend a LLL meeting, or take
other classes intended for moms-to-be. your situation. Check with the
hospital where you will be delivering to see what they offer. Try an
infant/child CPR class if you are not already certified.

And do relax, pamper yourself, and enjoy your pregnancy. Congrats on
the pregnancy, and good luck with everything.

--Robyn