My husband causes blowouts!

Ugh!!! I am so ....frustrated, with my husband, NOT the little munchkin!

My husband is back at work and I have been alone with the baby. I guess
breastmilk is not as constipating as formula would be because Rachel poos a
lot! She is surely getting enough to eat, it's "good stool".....anyway I
spend all day changing, feeding, changing, feeding, since she nurses every 2
hours. NO complaints! but I do ask my husband to change her occasionally
when he is home to give me a break and he is happy to oblige. He spent a
week with us, and changed and cared for her a lot. He is VERY good with her.

But.,.....he can't put a diaper on to contain things, to save his life. OMG.
Every time he diapers her and hands her to me, she has a plumber's crack or
soon will.......she just now had a blow out while I was feeding her from her
a.m. diaper change a couple hours ago, all over the bed. (My bed, as I was
side-lying nursing.).....

Every time my husband changes her, the next diaper change is a blow out to
clean up. He thinks it's funny......it doesn't happen when I change
her.....argh. I am glad he helps but wish he would try harder to diaper her
more securely. Especially since he is now at work and only home for a few
short hours in the evening before bedtime.

But at least the little munchkin eats well.....sigh.......

Jill wrote in message
om...
Ugh!!! I am so ....frustrated, with my husband, NOT the little munchkin!

My husband is back at work and I have been alone with the baby. I guess
breastmilk is not as constipating as formula would be because Rachel poos
a
lot! She is surely getting enough to eat, it's "good stool".....anyway I
spend all day changing, feeding, changing, feeding, since she nurses every
2
hours. NO complaints! but I do ask my husband to change her occasionally
when he is home to give me a break and he is happy to oblige. He spent a
week with us, and changed and cared for her a lot. He is VERY good with
her.

But.,.....he can't put a diaper on to contain things, to save his life.
OMG.
Every time he diapers her and hands her to me, she has a plumber's crack
or
soon will.......she just now had a blow out while I was feeding her from
her
a.m. diaper change a couple hours ago, all over the bed. (My bed, as I was
side-lying nursing.).....

Every time my husband changes her, the next diaper change is a blow out to
clean up. He thinks it's funny......it doesn't happen when I change
her.....argh. I am glad he helps but wish he would try harder to diaper
her
more securely. Especially since he is now at work and only home for a few
short hours in the evening before bedtime.

But at least the little munchkin eats well.....sigh.......

At least your dh will change her!
I discovered with #1 that he would do anything to avoid a dirty nappy-and a
lot to avoid a wet one too. I'd say "I'm just going to insert unpopular job
here can you change R-she's dirty" and magically he'd offer to do this
other job. Quite useful.
My mil looks as me as an ogre who forces him to change nappies. If I ask him
to when she's around she says "my dh only changed 1 nappy in 4 children". I
haven't yet replied that just because she was stupid enough to let him get
away with it, doesn't mean I will. But it may come...
Debbie

In article , abc123
@spam.com says...
Ugh!!! I am so ....frustrated, with my husband, NOT the little munchkin!

My husband is back at work and I have been alone with the baby. I guess
breastmilk is not as constipating as formula would be because Rachel poos a
lot! She is surely getting enough to eat, it's "good stool".....anyway I
spend all day changing, feeding, changing, feeding, since she nurses every 2
hours. NO complaints! but I do ask my husband to change her occasionally
when he is home to give me a break and he is happy to oblige. He spent a
week with us, and changed and cared for her a lot. He is VERY good with her.

Jill, your stories are making me excited for my due date! I can't wait
to bf!

But.,.....he can't put a diaper on to contain things, to save his life. OMG.
Every time he diapers her and hands her to me, she has a plumber's crack or
soon will.......she just now had a blow out while I was feeding her from her
a.m. diaper change a couple hours ago, all over the bed. (My bed, as I was
side-lying nursing.).....

LOL about the plumber's crack!! Hmmm, this sounds suspiciously like
FITGOC syndrome - feigning incompetence to get out of chores!!! This
syndrome is particularly prevalent in males, and there has been
documented corrolation between manifestation of symptoms coinciding with
marriage and the birth of children. Just a thought!

Every time my husband changes her, the next diaper change is a blow out to
clean up. He thinks it's funny......it doesn't happen when I change
her.....argh. I am glad he helps but wish he would try harder to diaper her
more securely. Especially since he is now at work and only home for a few
short hours in the evening before bedtime.

Who cleans the blowout aftermath? If he does and still thinks it is
funny, perhaps he truly is diapering-challenged. If you clean them and
he thinks its funny, I would stand by my diagnosis above!

-kim (certain that my dh's FITGOC is soon to take a turn for the worse!


edd 7 aug 04

"Welches" wrote
My mil looks as me as an ogre who forces him to change nappies. If I ask
him
to when she's around she says "my dh only changed 1 nappy in 4 children".
I
haven't yet replied that just because she was stupid enough to let him get
away with it, doesn't mean I will. But it may come...
Debbie


I think my husband is the only man in his family who has been active in th
caretaker of children role. So I really can't complain. (Well my family,
either-- the dads/granddads etc did not typically feed/bathe/change the
babies either). My husband at least wants too......he was really helpful
when I was in all that pain, even when my mom was here, he would still spend
a lot of time changing the baby etc. He gave her a bath before I did! I was
all worried about the "first bath" but when the time came I was so sore
still, that my husband and my mom did it. I figured I can celebrate MY first
bath giving. (I did and it was nerve-wracking! Rachel is so tiny and fragile
to me!)

So bless my husband for helping, but during the week he really can't do much
because of work. He can't be woken up every hour or two so he is not even
sleeping with us during weeknights. I am using our PackNPlay's bassinett in
our room, but Rachel ends up in the bed with me, and on weekends, in the bed
between Daddy and Me. This brings up a debate- is she getting spoiled by
being held and cuddled all the time, and not sleeping alone?

All the baby books say you can't spoil a baby this young by picking her up
every time she cries and holding her all the time. I am doing this, and my
husband swears it is CAUSING her to cry when she is put down. I don't
care....to me, she is still so new...I WANT to hold her all the time! I want
her to feel secure and warm, and not know the feeling of "alone"....to me
this is very different from having a toddler sleep with us, this is a brand
new baby! So yeah...if thats spoiling, I am guilty!! It's also why I enjoy
nursing..that much more "close" time with her...

I am in love! Her sweet breath, her little squeaks and baby noises, her
smell, her tiny fingers and toes....her delicate little nursing lips and her
dainty nursing habits....she is so sweet, I am totally in love. Blow-outs
and all!

BTW-- I have been awakened every 2 hours and only sleep basically by dozing
when she is nursing or napping...I change it seems like 15-20 diapers a
day..lots of pooey ones...I barely have time to cram food in my mouth or
shower, and forget extras like grooming/hair styling. I have dark circles
under my eyes, and no time to myself....but this is THE calmest, happiest I
have ever been! My mom asked me if she has been rattling my nerves, since
it's a big adjustment and that would be normal...I can honestly say that no,
she has not at all (yet :-) ) ........so far it just feels so sweet!

"Jill" wrote in message
om...
Ugh!!! I am so ....frustrated, with my husband, NOT the little munchkin!


Every time my husband changes her, the next diaper change is a blow out to
clean up. He thinks it's funny......it doesn't happen when I change
her.....argh. I am glad he helps but wish he would try harder to diaper
her
more securely. Especially since he is now at work and only home for a few
short hours in the evening before bedtime.

This sounds awful, but... have you considered diapering your darling the way
your husband does right before he is due to come home?

I know, I know, I'm running the risk of being called petty again, but if
you've covered diapering 101 with him, and he hasn't changed his
procedures... how about natural consequences? insert evil grin here
You'll know you've succeeded in teaching him the correct way to diaper when
he comes to you and explains that the reason the baby is having blowouts is
that you aren't insert what he's doing wrong here.

Just an evil suggestion.

Donna

Jill wrote:

This brings up a debate- is she getting spoiled by
being held and cuddled all the time, and not sleeping alone?

Of course not. You can never spoil a child by showing
too much love or meeting her needs too well. When she gets
closer to six months old, you have to make a decision whether
co-sleeping is something you're comfortable carrying forward
long term. If you are, all's well. If you aren't, then you
probably need to start transitioning her to her own bed, because
after that the change tends to be more difficult.

All the baby books say you can't spoil a baby this young by picking her up
every time she cries and holding her all the time. I am doing this, and my
husband swears it is CAUSING her to cry when she is put down.

It doesn't. Of course she notices that things aren't
the way they were, but you cannot "train" tiny babies out of
crying to be held by leaving them alone to wail.

Best wishes,
Ericka

LOL about the plumber's crack!! Hmmm, this sounds suspiciously like
FITGOC syndrome - feigning incompetence to get out of chores!!! This
syndrome is particularly prevalent in males, and there has been
documented corrolation between manifestation of symptoms coinciding with
marriage and the birth of children. Just a thought!
I've had my suspicions about fil.
Debbie

You should feel lucky that your husband's willing to change the baby's
diaper. My friend's husband didn't know how to change diapers until their
son was 1.5 yr old!

"Jill" wrote in message
om...
Ugh!!! I am so ....frustrated, with my husband, NOT the little munchkin!

My husband is back at work and I have been alone with the baby. I guess
breastmilk is not as constipating as formula would be because Rachel poos
a
lot! She is surely getting enough to eat, it's "good stool".....anyway I
spend all day changing, feeding, changing, feeding, since she nurses every
2
hours. NO complaints! but I do ask my husband to change her occasionally
when he is home to give me a break and he is happy to oblige. He spent a
week with us, and changed and cared for her a lot. He is VERY good with
her.

But.,.....he can't put a diaper on to contain things, to save his life.
OMG.
Every time he diapers her and hands her to me, she has a plumber's crack
or
soon will.......she just now had a blow out while I was feeding her from
her
a.m. diaper change a couple hours ago, all over the bed. (My bed, as I was
side-lying nursing.).....

Every time my husband changes her, the next diaper change is a blow out to
clean up. He thinks it's funny......it doesn't happen when I change
her.....argh. I am glad he helps but wish he would try harder to diaper
her
more securely. Especially since he is now at work and only home for a few
short hours in the evening before bedtime.

But at least the little munchkin eats well.....sigh.......

"Jill" wrote in message


But at least the little munchkin eats well.....sigh.......

Sounds like it! Glad things are going well and that you feel so content.
blowouts. My DS would poop up to 6 times a day when he was 3 months
and under. I despaired that he was not going to be a fabled
one-poop-per-week breastfed baby. However, shortly after the 3 month
mark (I think--seems like it was so recently and yet so far away that
I've already forgotten the actual timeline), he switched to one poop
every 5-7 days. So, you guys may get there too :-)

Keep up the good work and good spirits! (and, no, you're NOT spoiling
Rachel. You're doing what is best for her and responding to her
needs--one of a baby's biggest needs at this point is to be close to her
mama, so you're meeting that need perfectly!).

--
Em
mama to L-baby, 8 months old today!

OK, Jill. After reading the other replies I have a suggestion of
a strategy to deal with the problem.

When your DH changes the diaper and leaves the house, change the
diaper immediately as he leaves the house. Don't ever let him know
that you are doing this.

When your DH changes the diaper, stays home, and there is a blowout,
very gently and sweetly tell him it is his turn to change the diaper
and clean up the mess. Don't take no for an answer. About the fourth
time he has done this, after sweetly telling him to clean it up, just
before he starts to put the new diaper on, ask him just as sweetly if
he would like you to show him how to put it on so that it does not
leak.

Good luck,
Larry

Jill writes:
: Ugh!!! I am so ....frustrated, with my husband, NOT the little munchkin!

: My husband is back at work and I have been alone with the baby. I guess
: breastmilk is not as constipating as formula would be because Rachel poos a
: lot! She is surely getting enough to eat, it's "good stool".....anyway I
: spend all day changing, feeding, changing, feeding, since she nurses every 2
: hours. NO complaints! but I do ask my husband to change her occasionally
: when he is home to give me a break and he is happy to oblige. He spent a
: week with us, and changed and cared for her a lot. He is VERY good with her.

: But.,.....he can't put a diaper on to contain things, to save his life. OMG.
: Every time he diapers her and hands her to me, she has a plumber's crack or
: soon will.......she just now had a blow out while I was feeding her from her
: a.m. diaper change a couple hours ago, all over the bed. (My bed, as I was
: side-lying nursing.).....

: Every time my husband changes her, the next diaper change is a blow out to
: clean up. He thinks it's funny......it doesn't happen when I change
: her.....argh. I am glad he helps but wish he would try harder to diaper her
: more securely. Especially since he is now at work and only home for a few
: short hours in the evening before bedtime.

: But at least the little munchkin eats well.....sigh.......