Back to my midwife (went ok!)

The midwives office called me and asked me if I would want to come in for a
4 week appointment instead of waiting 6 weeks to see the OB. They knew after
labor, I made the appointment with the OB. I decided it would be healthy for
me to go back to the midwives, and let go of the labor trauma, since I WAS
so happy with the time they spent with me at my prenatal appointments, so I
went back to see the midwife who attended my birth (and the midwife who
****ed me off with all the anxiety comments was there too). I intended to
discuss this further, but didn't go there since it just didn't seem
necessary, water under the bridge and all that. I did let them know that I
was much better when the pain was resolved and it wasn't anxiety related-
they said they were discussing me the other day wondering how I was doing
and that they were afraid I thought they didn't take my pain seriously etc.
I told them how I felt about it in a few words and let that be it.

Because otherwise, I am just so happy and thrilled with Rachel and
everything is going so well. They told me I glow, and seem calm and happy,
and it shines through. My checkup went well- my stitches have dissolved
which shocked me- I FEEL something that feels just like a big stitch but
it's scar tissue evidently and I was advised t sort of massage it out so the
skin will get stretchy and soft again- not in those words, but that was the
point...it makes sense to me that that will work, since I have a fair amount
of scar tissue (it all looks normal they say etc and is healing fine). They
noted I've lost a lot of weight, and they also told me NOT to jog yet- I
went for a couple of runs/jogs and they said even if I feel ok it's too soon
and my pelvis and everything (bones, tendons, joints) might not be ready for
impact- they told me to walk for another few weeks.

Overall, it was a cheerful appointment, I am getting my energy back, and I
am just still thrilled! I was able to wean off the Paxil, and am doing
GREAT- not a big problem with panic attacks. My stuffy nose has resolved
itself since birth so I am not even needing my allergy medications at this
point- I'd rather not take them since they are drying, unless I am
miserable. Overall I do feel really good and am starting to get out more
with the baby and become more active. Breastfeeding still going great and I
haven't even thought about formula. But I have thought I need an electric
pump, I need a break- Rachel eats every 30 minutes it seems (and often she
does). She will want to nurse (not comfort suck!) every 30 minutes for
hours, and then she may go 4-5 hours napping without eating and then it
begins again.

I am so happy and thrilled it's scary! It's odd to me, Ive never been quite
THIS chipper before, it;s confusing, lol! I normally am moody. I am still
getting along fine with my mom even when she annoys me and I have included
her in a LOT of baby stuff and made her welcome to drop by any time, and to
see the baby as much as she wants etc, and I let her do the grandma things
she wants to. (I know, why wouldn't I? but we have really been at each
others throats for years and it was getting to be too miserable to be around
her)....so that's ok to. Rachel loves her! She smiles at her a lot, it's
sweet. My mom is ending up not being as much of a bother as the other
grandma- it's no offense and I love my MIL and never get angry at her or
anything-- but she is clueless about anything she is not familiar with. And
she has wrong ideas, such as wanting to give antibiotics every time there si
a slight sniffle (ie, thinking the baby needs them)...she even doesn't want
the baby to get her shot !! She thinks the combined shot, where the baby
gets several vaccines in one shot, is scary and something that is wrong- she
actually thinks it's safer to have the baby get the vaccines one shot at a
time, because that's the way it used to be. My lord. My MIL cannot leap into
the modern times and she still holds very dear those ideas from her days as
a new mom-- that breastfeeding is not enough food for the baby, formula is
better, you should supplement with water and sugar water, start solid foods
early, you should not spoil the baby you should let her cry it out, slather
her up with baby powder and oil etc etc etc. Sigh.

But anyway. I no longer feel like Mom-zilla. I feel like Supermom, lol,
leaping tall buildings in a single bound and saving my baby from .........
grandma! lol. (Just kidding......)

Congrats Jill! I'm so glad to hear that everything is going so well. It's
sometimes amazing how worked up we can get about a potential situation, only
to not have as many of the problems or feelings that we thought we would.
I'm so glad for you that your new mommy-hood is less stressful than you
thought it might be, dealing with all the grandparents!
--

Jamie & Taylor
Earth Angel, 1/3/03

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