If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Help! 9 yr old son wont change his clothes
hi all,
my 9 year old son has over the last couple of years become EXTREMLY private to the point where i don't think he likes to be naked even when he's alone in the shower. so i have a battle with him every morning (on schooldays only -- i have backed off on the weekends) about him getting into clean clothes. it makes me feel awful because this is a daily thing and i don't like having to fight with him that much, but on the other hand it's not really something i can let go is it? he keeps his underwear on in the shower sometimes (i'll find them later in the laundry), sneaks out of bed after he finally has his pajama pants on and puts his jeans (with belt cinched tight) back on and sleeps in them. then in the morning he would just go to school in all the clothes he just slept in (which sometimes includes a sweater). he is sneaky about it so if i don't stand there all night he'll just get his stuff back on. i've told him that if he doesn't change he will start smelling and the kids at school will tease him and i've told him that it's not healthy, but i think his selfcounciousness is stronger than those concerns. aargh. any ideas? thanks. |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
In article .com,
"baxi" wrote: i've told him that if he doesn't change he will start smelling and the kids at school will tease him and i've told him that it's not healthy, but i think his selfcounciousness is stronger than those concerns. SOME degree of this is not uncommon in boys this age, but his seems extreme to me. Especially the shower with his shorts on, and wanting to sleep fully clothd and with his belt cinchd. I might want him to talk to a therapist to figure out what's going on; this could turn into a serious issue. As far as what to do -- well, if he's at all likely to be upset by the pother kids commenting on him smelling bad, you could just let it go and allow hom to experience the natural consequences. Some kids just never know anything until they've done it themselves! -- Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
baxi wrote:
hi all, my 9 year old son has over the last couple of years become EXTREMLY private to the point where i don't think he likes to be naked even when he's alone in the shower. so i have a battle with him every morning (on schooldays only -- i have backed off on the weekends) about him getting into clean clothes. it makes me feel awful because this is a daily thing and i don't like having to fight with him that much, but on the other hand it's not really something i can let go is it? he keeps his underwear on in the shower sometimes (i'll find them later in the laundry), sneaks out of bed after he finally has his pajama pants on and puts his jeans (with belt cinched tight) back on and sleeps in them. then in the morning he would just go to school in all the clothes he just slept in (which sometimes includes a sweater). he is sneaky about it so if i don't stand there all night he'll just get his stuff back on. i've told him that if he doesn't change he will start smelling and the kids at school will tease him and i've told him that it's not healthy, but i think his selfcounciousness is stronger than those concerns. aargh. any ideas? thanks. DS did this, although not to the point of your son. DS just has a sweatshirt to which he is very very attached. He still listened to us, however, when we told him it's time to wear something else. Otherwise we'd have to schedule something he really wants to do, and then say he can't do it 'til he changed. It really helps DS to have lead time -- so we tell him in the evening that he won't be wearing the sweatshirt the next morning, and then he grudgingly would give it up. This advanced notice thing is something that's necessary in all aspects of his life, he just doesn't like unannounced change. For his birthday last month, he got two new fleece sweatshirts, and they've been incorporated into his clothing choices, thankfully. For your son, I'd just tell him you don't like it, and that's good enough reason for the moment. Be very matter-of-fact about it. Not all decisions have to be explained in full to 9-year-olds. New house rule, clean shirt/pants every day. Then enforce it. Your son obviously knows you're feeling ambivalent about enforcement. You have to follow through. You might consider doing laundry at night and not running the dryer 'til the next day. I presume your son won't sleep in wet jeans or wear them to school. As long as he has other clothes that are similar to the clothes you temporarily won't let him wear, this might work. Don't sweat the underwear showering. I might mention to him that most people shower naked, but he undoubtedly knows that. Scott DS 11 and DD 9 |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
"baxi" wrote in message oups.com... hi all, my 9 year old son has over the last couple of years become EXTREMLY private to the point where i don't think he likes to be naked even when he's alone in the shower. so i have a battle with him every morning (on schooldays only -- i have backed off on the weekends) about him getting into clean clothes. it makes me feel awful because this is a daily thing and i don't like having to fight with him that much, but on the other hand it's not really something i can let go is it? he keeps his underwear on in the shower sometimes (i'll find them later in the laundry), sneaks out of bed after he finally has his pajama pants on and puts his jeans (with belt cinched tight) back on and sleeps in them. then in the morning he would just go to school in all the clothes he just slept in (which sometimes includes a sweater). he is sneaky about it so if i don't stand there all night he'll just get his stuff back on. i've told him that if he doesn't change he will start smelling and the kids at school will tease him and i've told him that it's not healthy, but i think his selfcounciousness is stronger than those concerns. aargh. any ideas? This sounds pretty normal to me. I think a lot of kids are like this. However, if this is a sudden change, I would try to find out why. Some sort of abuse comes to mind. It could be bullying at school, someone touching him, or whatever. I think the abuse thing is unlikely, but the consequences are serious. Jeff thanks. |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
This sounds pretty normal to me. I think a lot of kids are like this.
However, if this is a sudden change, I would try to find out why. Some sort of abuse comes to mind. It could be bullying at school, someone touching him, or whatever. I think the abuse thing is unlikely, but the consequences are serious. Jeff That's what first came to my mind, from the tone of your post.. ..that this is a little extreme - esp. bathing with underwear on, and cinching his belt tight. Did this start very suddenly, and if so, can you think of anyone new who's care/presence he may have been in at the time? |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Duke Univ. students to change history (obstetric history)? | Todd Gastaldo | Pregnancy | 0 | June 10th 04 06:31 PM |
Selling all my best Maternity Clothes | Rare Old Things | Pregnancy | 2 | March 5th 04 09:02 PM |
For anyone who needs quality Maternity clothes | Rare Old Things | Pregnancy | 0 | March 4th 04 04:27 AM |
Maternity Clothes in the UK | John TM | Pregnancy | 6 | August 21st 03 04:17 AM |