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#101
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article ,
toypup wrote: On Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:05:46 +1100, Chookie wrote: The only thing I disagree with Ericka about is dropping in unannounced; I think that's rude, and it can be very inconvenient for the carers. That's really the only way to see things in action. Haven't you seen the undercover videos they make for the news? Er, no. And shock-horror programs where reporters (as opposed to, say, police) hide cameras are not *news*, in my book. Those poorer quality daycare centers know how to straighten up before the parents get there. One center neglected the kids all day. They were in their carseats from the time they came to just before their parents came to pick them up, at which time more staff arrived to pick up the place and play with the babies. It was all for show. And none of the children were old enough to talk, and their parents never noticed how their behaviour changed? I did once visit a site that could have made it in the news like that. I thought, if only I had a video camera. Over here, we have things even better than video cameras. They're called legislation and regulation. The resulting system isn't perfect -- I have no idea how that bad centre passed its accreditation -- but we don't allow baby-farming any more. The question is why your legislators permit little children to be neglected, and their parents to be ripped off. Perhaps they need to be spied on by hidden cameras, to find out what they are doing instead of working! -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#103
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article
, cjra wrote: That's my current worry when the evaluator comes next week. Our house, undergoing extensive restorations, is not exactly "acceptable" by some people's standards. Fortunately the cleaning lady comes that morning ;-) Well, if you can afford restoration (which is even better than renovation, in terms of class markers!) and a cleaning lady, they will know you are middle class and thus Quite All Right. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#104
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Dec 7, 9:35 am, enigma wrote:
cjra wrote oups.com: Anyway - why was therapy so bad for him, other than the fallout of the preschool situation? oh no, the early intervention therapies were *wonderful*. the problems were when they tried to transfer him to the school district. the comment about speech therapy being the stupidest thing i've ever done, parenting-wise, is because he never shuts up now he's constantly yammering (lots of echolalia, which i'm getting better at tuning out) & even talks in his sleep (his teachers say he doesn't do that at school though). Ah, thanks. That makes sense ;-). I have no doubt DD will be talking up a storm sooner or later. When she was in NICU we begged to hear her cry. Now, um... oh, one other thing... i think you mentioned your daughter cosleeps? don't tell them that! that was one of the things that got me labelled as overly attached. i didn't transfer him to his own bed until he was 3.5. lee It'll be kind of obvious, as her room (the only other bedroom in the house) is currently full of tools and construction materials.... we do have a crib in our room though (not that it's ever used). |
#105
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Dec 7, 10:05 am, Nan wrote:
On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 06:45:29 -0800 (PST), cjra wrote: This makes me feel better, since we're having our evaluation next week! Please forgive me if I'm not remembering correctly... are you in Indiana? Nan Nope. Texas. Although I used to live in IN - that was pre husband and kids. |
#106
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
In article ,
enigma wrote: At the end of the visit, one of the social workers commented that it was good that he didn't know what a gun was - are there guns in my house? I said "no". But I wondered - is their scope way beyond educational needs, and what if we were a hunting family? oh, yeah! they certainly are/were scoping out for other things. i got an earful about both the guns (it's a freaking air gun!) *and* the bows & arrows. neither was within child reach, but OMG! they were *in the house!!!* they're also checking out your housekeeping. you get huge ticks off for clutter, dishes in the sink & probably the dust bunnies under the furniture. big dogs are a "bad thing" too, especially "dangerous" breeds like Malamutes. i'm shocked my kid has made it to 7, really. i bet they'd be having absolute hissies if they knew i bought Boo his very own soft pellet gun (with glow in the dark pellets) so he can target practice in the basement... lee who has no use for the nanny state The problem is that in a large number of cases, you'll find a whole number of bad things going on at once. The child is delayed, but there's also unemployment, history of violence, illiteracy, abuse, convictions, drug abuse, mental illness etc going on in the household. So yes, they need to see if you fit into that high-risk category called the underclass. And in my country, if you look at who has weapons and aggressive dog breeds, it's the underclass (though I've never heard that Mals are dangerous!). Chaotic households with dirt everywhere can indicate mental illness in the adult(s), so yep, you'd get dinged for that. Remember these people are doing risk assessment, and the penalty for getting it wrong is a tragedy. We've just had a very sad case where a little girl of 7 starved to death in the "care" of her parents. They refused to send her to school, but the education people hadn't really joined the dots with community services (DOCS). There had been numerous calls to DOCS about the family over many years, the children were dirty, the parents had denied caseworkers entry to the house (public housing, implying a very low income), another child had been removed earlier -- and I've been told that a TV interview with the father showed that he was practically unable to put a sentence together. -- Chookie -- Sydney, Australia (Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply) http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/ |
#107
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Sat, 08 Dec 2007 09:57:46 +1100, Chookie wrote:
In article , toypup wrote: On Fri, 07 Dec 2007 13:05:46 +1100, Chookie wrote: The only thing I disagree with Ericka about is dropping in unannounced; I think that's rude, and it can be very inconvenient for the carers. That's really the only way to see things in action. Haven't you seen the undercover videos they make for the news? Er, no. And shock-horror programs where reporters (as opposed to, say, police) hide cameras are not *news*, in my book. Well, I've seen the shock and horror with my own eyes. |
#108
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
On Dec 7, 5:41 pm, Chookie wrote:
In article , cjra wrote: That's my current worry when the evaluator comes next week. Our house, undergoing extensive restorations, is not exactly "acceptable" by some people's standards. Fortunately the cleaning lady comes that morning ;-) Well, if you can afford restoration (which is even better than renovation, in terms of class markers!) and a cleaning lady, they will know you are middle class and thus Quite All Right. I guess being middle class makes us good parents then? Maybe they'll ignore the caution tape strung across the front porch? Seriously, our neighbors all joke about the various states of disrepair of our homes and how our kids are going to be traumatized. I was uncertain about getting a cleaning person even, because I feared one would not 'know' how to deal with such a house. Fortunately, my neighbor whose house is in a similar state already found one and we share her. I'm not too worried, esp. now that we've painted the exterior. But it's certainly on my mind. |
#109
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
cjra wrote in
oups.com: On Dec 7, 5:41 pm, Chookie wrote: Well, if you can afford restoration (which is even better than renovation, in terms of class markers!) and a cleaning lady, they will know you are middle class and thus Quite All Right. I guess being middle class makes us good parents then? Maybe they'll ignore the caution tape strung across the front porch? it seriously helps, both because it eliminates some snap judgements & because they know middle class parents have the money to fight them in court. in my case, because neither of us work outside the home & i tend to dress as a sys admin/farmer (i'm not too proud to patch my clothes), they seemed to think i was pushing poverty level. granted my income is somewhat less since Bush took office, but it's far from poverty. so, what kinds of restoration are you doing? Seriously, our neighbors all joke about the various states of disrepair of our homes and how our kids are going to be traumatized. I was uncertain about getting a cleaning person even, because I feared one would not 'know' how to deal with such a house. Fortunately, my neighbor whose house is in a similar state already found one and we share her. i need a cleaning person, but i need to clean first the big problem i have with restoring this old house is having stuff out of place because it doesn't currently have a place to be, so i have all kinds of bins & boxes & piles of stuff in the dining room (right now. when i get to the dining room, it'll be somewhere else & different stuff). I'm not too worried, esp. now that we've painted the exterior. But it's certainly on my mind. exterior painting is on the list, but rebuilding the Federal front entry (door, side & top lights, rebuilding the moldings, etc) & reroofing with a metal roof (adding ventilation & insulation) will come first. the garage looks worse than the house. that needs a complete residing & the side door is rotted. really poor construction on that & it's only 20 years old. but the posts for the new barn are in... lee -- Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if there be one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear. - Thomas Jefferson |
#110
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Am I hurting my child by putting her in daycare at 22 months?
"cjra" wrote in message ... On Dec 6, 7:19 pm, enigma wrote: Banty wrote : Whats this? Who are "ChildFind" and how did they get this power and mixed up in your life?? he didn't talk at age 2. no babble, nothing except an really good ambulance siren imitation, so he was referred to Early Intervention. he received physical therapy & later speech therapy. he was unable to work the muscles in his tongue & face to make sounds (i currently maintain speech therapy was the stupidest parenting mistake i've made g) Interesting. I've just called to set up an evaluation with ECI. DD is behind in gross motor development and speech (still within normal range, but just barely). I'm not sure yet if she'll qualify for therapy. Everyone I've heard from raves about the program. I figured a little therapy wouldn't hurt. However I'm a little nervous that when they come over and see our house in various states of renovation (it's safe but has some major issues), they're going to freak... I just had EI here and they were great. They didn't ask anything weird or inappropriate and didn't seem at all concerned that the boys didn't get off my lap. My house is not being restored so don't know if they'd have said anything about that or not The EI program here seems to be great and minds their business. I have some experience with them through work as well. Every place is different of course. With co-sleeping I've found through work that how crazy some one is over that seems to have nothing to do with policy and just individual case-worker/foster parent. Some foster parents are determined that young siblings (2-4yo and under) NEED to sleep apart from each other and others don't seem to care. -- Nikki |
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