Off Topic: How to be a Democrat

YOU CAN BE A DEMOCRAT - Virtually anyone can be a Democrat, but if you
want to be a GOOD Democrat, here are some necessary prerequisites.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans, are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of Mideast Radicals.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by yuppies driving SUVs.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
demand.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start
wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George
Washington or Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

"Russell Kinsey" wrote in message ...
YOU CAN BE A DEMOCRAT - Virtually anyone can be a Democrat, but if you
want to be a GOOD Democrat, here are some necessary prerequisites.

....And following are the corresponding prerequisites to be a
GOOD REPUBLICAN:

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

= BASH GAY PEOPLE.

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

= BASH TEACHERS, AND EDUCATION.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans, are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of Mideast Radicals.

= PUT ASSAULT WEAPONS BACK ON THE STREET.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

= BASH THE ARTS.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by yuppies driving SUVs.

= BASH THE ENVIRONMENT.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

= BASH GAY PEOPLE, AGAIN.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
demand.

= BECOME A HYPOCRITE, AND DEFEND THE MURDER OF
ONE GROUP OF AMERICANS WHILE YOU CONDEMN THE
MURDER OF ANOTHER GROUP.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

= BASH CORPORATE ACCOUNTABILITY.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do.

= BASH THE ENVIRONMENT, AGAIN.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

= ELIMINATE OVERTIME PAY.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start
wars.

= GEORGE W. BUSH, ANYONE?

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

= PUT MORE ASSAULT WEAPONS BACK ON THE STREET.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

= TAX BREAKS ARE ONLY FOR THE WEALTHY.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George
Washington or Thomas Edison.

= BASH WOMEN.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.

= BASH MINORITIES.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

= BASH WOMEN, AGAIN.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

= BASH GOVERNMENTAL ACCOUNTABILITY.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

= DISREGARD GEORGE W. BUSH'S LYING ABOUT THE
NEED FOR WAR, BILL CLINTON'S LYING ABOUT A
BLOWJOB WAS FAR MORE IMPORTANT.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

= BASH GAY PEOPLE ONE MORE TIME, JUST FOR FUN.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

= YOU ARE EITHER WITH US OR YOU ARE WITH THE
TERRORISTS. FASCIST POLITICAL TACTICS ARE GOOD.

Rick

Russell Kinsey wrote:
YOU CAN BE A DEMOCRAT - Virtually anyone can be a Democrat, but if you
want to be a GOOD Democrat, here are some necessary prerequisites.

OK, somebody else attempted a "How to be Republican", but all they did
was refer to everything as "xxx bashing". Let's try a more reasoned
response...

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

You have to believe that only gays get AIDS, never people who need
blood transfusions for surgery, never children with infected
mothers...

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

You have to believe that 4th graders(?!) will make better choices
if their only information comes from other 4th graders than if it
comes from a teacher who _might_ actually know something.

You also have to believe that the reason 4th graders (or whatever)
don't learn to read is because the teachers are no good at their
job, not because the are being forced to babysit children who are
more interested in disrupting the classroom than in learning
anything.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans, are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of Mideast Radicals.

You have to believe that guns, of whatever variety, are good for
society. Makes no difference if they are hunting rifles,
sawed-off shotguns, automatic rifles, machine guns, grenade
launchers...

Mind you, I think people should have the right to own guns.
Unregistered. (I'm also not registered Democrat even though I
usually vote for Democrats because the Republican offering is even
worse.)

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

You have to believe that it's not art -- or even "free speech"
if it offends you.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by yuppies driving SUVs.

You have to believe that there is no such thing as global warming,
and that the spate of 100-year floods and droughts, and multiple
hurricanes is purely a coincidence.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

You have to believe that Moses' proscriptions against
homosexuality (given specifically to the Jews) applies to
everybody on earth.

You also have to believe that homosexuality occurs only in
humans (those perverse creatures) and never elsewhere in nature,
despite abundant evidence to the contrary.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
demand.

You have to believe that capital punishment is more important than
making sure you caught the right person in the first place.

And that nobody, anywhere, should have an abortion even if having
the baby will kill them.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that all businesses are honest and aboveboard
and have the best interests of the country at their heart.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do.

Or loony activists from any other city. In fact, anybody who
lives in a city is obviously loony. As is anybody who disagrees
with G. W. Bush.

Still, I agree that hunters should be allowed to hunt.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start
wars.
Non-sequitur.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

Agreed here. My first choice would be LIbertarian, because they
support _both_ the 1st and 2nd amendments (and the 4th, 5th, and
6th too).

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George
Washington or Thomas Edison.

You have to believe that Margaret Sanger shouldn't even be
mentioned in history. Nor Harriet Tubman. Nor Booker T.
Washington, Rosa Parks, Cesar Chavez...

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.

You have to believe that calling a law "no child left behind" will
actually ensure that all children learn, even if you allocate no
money for the purpose.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

OK, you got me. I hadn't realized that Hillary was a
male-to-female transsexual.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

You have to believe that the only reason unbridled capitalism
worked so poorly at the beginning of the 20th century is that the
right people weren't in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You have to believe that a lie about your sex life is more
important than a lie about the policies of the country, such as
whether we should go to war.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that it's OK for the government to favor
Christianity, even if some citizens are Jews, Muslims, Buddhists,
Hindus, Wiccans, and Atheists.

But that government should step in and stop people doing what they
want in the privacy of their own homes.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

You have to believe that a President elected 5 to 4 represents all
the people of the US.
--
I pledge allegiance to the Constitution of the United States of America, and
to the republic which it established, one nation from many peoples, promising
liberty and justice for all.
Feel free to use the above variant pledge in your own postings.

This is odd. I am a Democrat, will vote for Kerry and don't believe one of
these things.

"Russell Kinsey" wrote in message
...
YOU CAN BE A DEMOCRAT - Virtually anyone can be a Democrat, but if you
want to be a GOOD Democrat, here are some necessary prerequisites.

1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal
funding.

HIV is spread mostly sexual contact and dirty needles.

Didn't Bush, a Republican, promise $15B over ten years to 3rd world
countries to help fight AIDS?

2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids
about sex.

I thought 4th graders already know how to read.

Who is more qualified to teach about sex? One might argue parents, but they
don't always do a very good job. And in most places, parents have the option
of letting their kids leave the classroom during those discussions, so that
thier wishes are respected.

3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding
Americans, are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the
hands of Mideast Radicals.

Actually, to the best of my knowledge, democrats are very concerned about
the nuts in the mideast getting nuclear weapons as well as the nuts in the
US. I don't recall any democrats not wanting law-abiding Americans to get
guns.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

Gee, I think there was art before Federal funding. I never knew of a
democrat who said otherwise.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by yuppies driving SUVs.

No, the science clearly shows that CO2 is major contributer to global
warming.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being
homosexual is natural.

Considering that science show people are born gay and do nothing to become
gay, I would say that being homosexual is natural for those who are
homosexual.

I believe that gender roles are natural. I mean girls want dolls and boys
trucks for a reason.

7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on
demand.

Actually, the Catholic Church is against capital punishment.

And many democrats are against abortion.

8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.

Bush seems to think that government create properity. Or at least his
government, despite that he lost jobs during his term.

And certainly, our rights have been reduce under Bush.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do.

Why?

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than
actually doing something to earn it.

Really? I think both having good self-esteem and doing something about it
are important. I don't know which is more important.

11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start
wars.

I think democrats definitely believe that corrupt politicians, like Bush,
start wars.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports
certain parts of the Constitution.

I think the NRA is bad because it supports the ability of criminals to get
guns. I have mixed feelings about the ACLU.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too
high.

I think taxes are too low for rich people.

I think people are stupid if they let banks take advantage of them.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are
more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, George
Washington or Thomas Edison.

I don't even know who Margaret Sanger is and know next to nothing about Ms
Steinem.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial
quotas and set-asides aren't.

I think racial quotas are racist.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is really a lady.

I am not particularly found of her.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in
charge.

No, capitalism is a much better system. Not perfect, but much better.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in
jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

No. I don't think conservatives belong in jail nor do I believe that liars
and sex offenders belong in the white house.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag,
transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and
manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

Both should be constitutionally protected.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

No, I don't think any of the present funding of either major party is in the
best interest of the US.

Jeff

In article , (Barry Gold)
wrote:

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by yuppies driving SUVs.

You have to believe that there is no such thing as global warming,
and that the spate of 100-year floods and droughts, and multiple
hurricanes is purely a coincidence.

Not to mention some of the biggest fires ever recorded in human history,
easily visible from space.

In article , (Barry Gold)
wrote:

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the
Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

You have to believe that a President elected 5 to 4 represents
all the people of the US.

....and that funding international drug lords with U.S. taxpayer dollars
is okay if it means guns wind up in the hands of a nation who calls
America "The Great Satan" ( Iran/Contra scandal, investigated and
exposed by none other than Senator John Kerry.)

Oh yeah. The Republicans got it all over the Democrats.

How to be a good republican?
You have to vote for Georges Bush because God forgot to give you the notice
for your brain!

"Russell Kinsey" a écrit dans le message de news:
...
YOU CAN BE A DEMOCRAT - Virtually anyone can be a Democrat, but if you
want to be a GOOD Democrat, here are some necessary prerequisites.

You just need to be human and use your brain to see what happened regarding
foreign policies, the economy, the national deficit, health care, gas price
etc... when a president (i.e. GW Bush) has a brain disorder
Anne
--
GW Bush got a MRI; the doctor was concerned because there was nothing right
in his left brain and nothing left in his right brain.

"Anne" fazbeta at free dot fr wrote in message
...
How to be a good republican?
You have to vote for Georges Bush because God forgot to give you the
notice
for your brain!

Bush is not stupid. He has an MBA from Harvard and is very good as a
politician.

As President, I think he is the worst in history and hasn't learned how to
use his brainpower.

Jeff

On Sat Oct 23, I was peacefully napping until Barry Gold said:

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by
cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected
by yuppies driving SUVs.

You have to believe that there is no such thing as global warming,
and that the spate of 100-year floods and droughts, and multiple
hurricanes is purely a coincidence.

You have to believe that less than 100 years of industrial activity, on
small portions of the entire land mass, which itself only comprises 1/4 of
the Earth's surface, is MORE significant than (among others) a
demonstrably weakening magnetic field (which allows for a protective
atmosphere in the first place) and a relatively mysterious and nearby
object a million times more massive than the Earth. It's absurd to
consider these less significant than smokestacks, automobile exhaust and
spray paint cans.

As the author unquestionably acknowledges, global temperatures do seem to
be on the rise (somewhat). The big question is "why"? I think OP summed
it up aptly although you apparently didn't see fit to address what was
actually written...

Mike
--


net [one dot] verizon [cymbal] ballard [no spaces] mike [reverse the whole thing]

----------------------------
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On Sat Oct 23, I was peacefully napping until Jeff said:

As President, I think he is the worst in history and hasn't learned how to
use his brainpower.

Strangely enough the latter (ironically) screams "likewise"...

Mike
--


net [one dot] verizon [cymbal] ballard [no spaces] mike [reverse the whole thing]

----------------------------
Visit http://www.anysoldier.us/index.cfm