If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
Questions about weaning (21 month old)
DD is almost 21 months, and I would like to wean her by 2 years (July). I
have cut her nursing back to morning, afternoon nap, and before bed, and for a few weeks this was working out fine. This last week, she has started waking up at night and wanting to nurse...I was refusing, offering water, and she would take a sip, and then go back to sleep, but each night it gets progressively worse (waking longer, crying longer, more insistent on nursing). She is also doing this after her afternoon nap too. I try to distract her, offer to go for a walk, movie, every other drink I have and she won't go for any of it. Yesterday after her nap, she was like this and I held her off for an hour, and she kept whining, she didn't want anything else but mama's milk, so I had to give in. Why is she now going backwards? I am almost at the point that I am going to just give in, but my heart of hearts tells me that I really want to wean her. I have gotten to the point where I feel that I have given her 2 years (almost) of mama's milk on demand, and I would like to have my body back for a few months before I get pregnant again (hopefully). She is a very picky eater, so that is one of the main reasons I have continued as long as I have. I offer her food many times throughout the day, and there is a cupboard for just here stuff that she can grab whatever she wants, whenever she wants, so I don't know if she really needs the milk or just the comfort. When I am not there, or DH tries to comfort her instead, she goes almost hysterical....she want me, and more importantly, my milk? Do you have any help or suggestions? -- Michelle P Ava Marie July 14, 2002 While I sympathize with your feelings, I don't think it's realistic to expect young children to make progress toward independence in a linear fashion or by an externally imposed deadline. She's going "backwards" because that's what toddlers do -- two steps forward, one back (or three forward, one back, one forward, five back, etc.) is the rule rather than the exception, whether it's learning to walk, learning to feed themselves, developing the ability to play alone, becoming comfortable sleeping alone, weaning, or toilet training. Does she need milk or comfort? Both, most likely. Her reaction is telling you that you've moved too far, too fast. Back off for a while -- maybe re-institute the afternoon nap nursing session, and see if that helps her go without during the night. Try again with the afternoon in another month or two. I did something like this with my son, when he was a bit younger than your DD is now, though I didn't have any plans to wean him completely by any particular time. When eliminating a particular nursing session didn't really go well, I stopped trying for a couple months. On the next try, it was easy. I didn't really view it as going "backwards" -- just as somewhat slower progress than I might have hoped. A few more weeks or months, out of a nursing relationship measured in years, just isn't that big a deal. IMO, 2 years is not a good time for parent-directed weaning, because there are so many ways in which children that age are exploring independence, and they need to maintain a secure, familiar base of support in order to comfortably spread their wings. Instead of making "wean completely by 2 years" your goal, focus on smaller, shorter term steps, like "eliminate the nighttime nursing" or "cut back to where my normal ovulatory cycle returns" or whatever is most important to you *right now*. I think it will be less frustrating for you if you don't have a definite timeline in mind. And if you find that eliminating a nursing session results in more tantrums, for example, you'll be able to think more clearly and calmly about what's the best way to proceed if you're not mentally moaning to yourself, "I'll NEVER get my body back!" You know? Besides, once you get her comfortably down to just 1x or 2x a day, you may find that you feel absolutely fine about continuing at that level indefinitely. I certainly did. If not, of course, then you can continue the weaning process, but don't get too committed to not breastfeeding at all before you know how you feel about breastfeeding *less*. :-) It may well feel totally different. Best of luck Holly Mom to Camden, 3yo EDD #2 6/8/04 |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Questions about weaning (21 month old)
DD is almost 21 months, and I would like to wean her by 2 years (July). I have cut her nursing back to morning, afternoon nap, and before bed, and for a few weeks this was working out fine. This last week, she has started waking up at night and wanting to nurse...I was refusing, offering water, and she would take a sip, and then go back to sleep, but each night it gets progressively worse (waking longer, crying longer, more insistent on nursing). She is also doing this after her afternoon nap too. I try to distract her, offer to go for a walk, movie, every other drink I have and she won't go for any of it. Yesterday after her nap, she was like this and I held her off for an hour, and she kept whining, she didn't want anything else but mama's milk, so I had to give in. Why is she now going backwards? I am almost at the point that I am going to just give in, but my heart of hearts tells me that I really want to wean her. I have gotten to the point where I feel that I have given her 2 years (almost) of mama's milk on demand, and I would like to have my body back for a few months before I get pregnant again (hopefully). She is a very picky eater, so that is one of the main reasons I have continued as long as I have. I offer her food many times throughout the day, and there is a cupboard for just here stuff that she can grab whatever she wants, whenever she wants, so I don't know if she really needs the milk or just the comfort. When I am not there, or DH tries to comfort her instead, she goes almost hysterical....she want me, and more importantly, my milk? Do you have any help or suggestions? -- Michelle P Ava Marie July 14, 2002 |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Questions about weaning (21 month old)
What Holly said!
Larry Michelle Podnar writes: : DD is almost 21 months, and I would like to wean her by 2 years (July). I : have cut her nursing back to morning, afternoon nap, and before bed, and for : a few weeks this was working out fine. This last week, she has started : waking up at night and wanting to nurse...I was refusing, offering water, : and she would take a sip, and then go back to sleep, but each night it gets : progressively worse (waking longer, crying longer, more insistent on : nursing). She is also doing this after her afternoon nap too. I try to : distract her, offer to go for a walk, movie, every other drink I have and : she won't go for any of it. Yesterday after her nap, she was like this and I : held her off for an hour, and she kept whining, she didn't want anything : else but mama's milk, so I had to give in. Why is she now going backwards? I : am almost at the point that I am going to just give in, but my heart of : hearts tells me that I really want to wean her. I have gotten to the point : where I feel that I have given her 2 years (almost) of mama's milk on : demand, and I would like to have my body back for a few months before I get : pregnant again (hopefully). She is a very picky eater, so that is one of the : main reasons I have continued as long as I have. I offer her food many times : throughout the day, and there is a cupboard for just here stuff that she can : grab whatever she wants, whenever she wants, so I don't know if she really : needs the milk or just the comfort. When I am not there, or DH tries to : comfort her instead, she goes almost hysterical....she want me, and more : importantly, my milk? Do you have any help or suggestions? : -- : Michelle P : Ava Marie July 14, 2002 |
#4
|
|||
|
|||
Questions about weaning (21 month old)
What Holly said!
Larry Oh, wow, I've got the Larry McMahan Stamp of Approval! (Now I'm just trying to decide whether that's a good thing or not.... ;-) ) Holly Mom to Camden, 3yo EDD #2 6/8/04 |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Questions about weaning (21 month old)
HollyLewis writes:
:What Holly said! : :Larry : Oh, wow, I've got the Larry McMahan Stamp of Approval! (Now I'm just trying to : decide whether that's a good thing or not.... ;-) ) : Holly : Mom to Camden, 3yo : EDD #2 6/8/04 That's OK. I'm still waiting for the Holly Lewis stamp of approval. I plan to mount it in a prominent place in my stamp collection. :-) Larry |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Is a 16 month ready for weaning? | Jenny Ryan | Breastfeeding | 8 | November 27th 03 01:38 PM |
milk supply, night weaning, pumping, and menstruation questions | Cathy Weeks | Breastfeeding | 9 | October 28th 03 08:12 PM |
Dumb questions about a 9 month old | Cathy | Breastfeeding | 4 | October 8th 03 07:48 AM |
Weird questions - nursing position for active 8 month old | toypup | Breastfeeding | 5 | September 20th 03 03:52 AM |