no confidence?

My daughter is nine year old now. When she plays with other kids she always
follow other kids, even five year old girl. The 5-year-old say "can you
play?" then she play. The 5-year-old say "you have to go" and then she
leave.

This makes me really uncomfortable but I do not know what is wrong and what
I can do.

Any suggestion please.

Time

"time" wrote in message
...
My daughter is nine year old now. When she plays with other kids she
always
follow other kids, even five year old girl. The 5-year-old say "can you
play?" then she play. The 5-year-old say "you have to go" and then she
leave.

This makes me really uncomfortable but I do not know what is wrong and
what
I can do.

Any suggestion please.

Time

I don't fully understand the problem. Does she have friends of her own about
the same age? Is she always a follower? How does she behave with cousins and
other extended family and her brothers and sisters? How does she behave in
school?

What makes you think that she has a lack of confidence? Is there something
else going on at school or at home?

Also, how does she play compared to those who live in the neighborhood with
her?

And, finally, can you share with us a little about your cultural heritage
and the cultural heritage of your neighbors and her schoolmates? I am
wondering if there are some cross-cultural issues going on, as well.

Jeff

Thank you for your response.

She plays well with her brother and cousins. She likes to talk to parents in
home. I did not see any problem she behave in school. However, her teacher
told me that she is too quite in school. We came from an Asia country.

I hope she is more active when she plays. But what I can do?

Time




"Jeff" wrote in message
k.net...

"time" wrote in message
...
My daughter is nine year old now. When she plays with other kids she
always
follow other kids, even five year old girl. The 5-year-old say "can you
play?" then she play. The 5-year-old say "you have to go" and then she
leave.

This makes me really uncomfortable but I do not know what is wrong and
what
I can do.

Any suggestion please.

Time

I don't fully understand the problem. Does she have friends of her own
about
the same age? Is she always a follower? How does she behave with cousins
and
other extended family and her brothers and sisters? How does she behave in
school?

What makes you think that she has a lack of confidence? Is there something
else going on at school or at home?

Also, how does she play compared to those who live in the neighborhood
with
her?

And, finally, can you share with us a little about your cultural heritage
and the cultural heritage of your neighbors and her schoolmates? I am
wondering if there are some cross-cultural issues going on, as well.

Jeff

"time" wrote in message
...
Thank you for your response.

She plays well with her brother and cousins. She likes to talk to parents
in
home. I did not see any problem she behave in school. However, her teacher
told me that she is too quite in school. We came from an Asia country.

I hope she is more active when she plays. But what I can do?

Are you living in your land of origin? Is this behavior normal where you
are from? I live the U.S. in an area with lots of Asians. The Asian kids
with parents who are recent immigrants tend to be much more reserved
compared to those with Americanized parents. In fact, I am Asian, and I
really notice the difference. I think it's a cultural thing.

We are living in U.S.

Thanks.

Time


"toypup" wrote in message
om...

"time" wrote in message
...
Thank you for your response.

She plays well with her brother and cousins. She likes to talk to
parents
in
home. I did not see any problem she behave in school. However, her
teacher
told me that she is too quite in school. We came from an Asia country.

I hope she is more active when she plays. But what I can do?

Are you living in your land of origin? Is this behavior normal where you
are from? I live the U.S. in an area with lots of Asians. The Asian kids
with parents who are recent immigrants tend to be much more reserved
compared to those with Americanized parents. In fact, I am Asian, and I
really notice the difference. I think it's a cultural thing.

"toypup" wrote in message
om...

"time" wrote in message
...
Thank you for your response.

She plays well with her brother and cousins. She likes to talk to parents
in
home. I did not see any problem she behave in school. However, her
teacher
told me that she is too quite in school. We came from an Asia country.

I hope she is more active when she plays. But what I can do?

Are you living in your land of origin? Is this behavior normal where you
are from? I live the U.S. in an area with lots of Asians. The Asian kids
with parents who are recent immigrants tend to be much more reserved
compared to those with Americanized parents. In fact, I am Asian, and I
really notice the difference. I think it's a cultural thing.

I thought you (time, the OP) were Asian. I picked that up from the way you
phrased your words in your post (I had a lot of friends from Asia in grad
school).

I think she is completely normal. Being from two cultures (part Asian, part
US or other immigrant country), your daughter tends to do what is familiar
to her, which is be quiet and respectful.

Some things you might want to do is talk to her teacher. Maybe her teacher
can give her some leadership roles in the classroom, like taking attendance,
handing out papers, maybe leading some small groups in learning things.
Depending on what's available, she might even help tutor a younger kid. She
could also become a class representative or help publish a school newspaper
or class newspaper. If she likes sports, she can join a soccer or softball
team or a dance team. Maybe music is her thing. Next summer, make sure she
is in some sort of community day camp where she has to go out and meet other
kids (e.g., if you live in NYC, the NYC parks department has day camps at
Central Park and other parks in the city). Maybe send her to overnight camp,
too.

The other thing you might want to do is get a mentor for your daughter. This
might be particularly good if you're a single parent. A mentor is an adult
who serves as a role model for kids (and adults). New York City has several
mentoring groups (note to adults in NYC: Become a mentor: More mentors are
needed all the time).

Finally, get out of the house yourself, if you haven't done so already. Join
a book club, a committee in church, a community organization, help out at
school or something. Be a role model for her going out in the community.

You asked what you can do, so I gave you some ideas. Even though I think
these will be helpful to her, it sounds like your daughter is a quiet,
sensitive and completely normal nine-year old girl (who might enjoy the
suggested activities).

Jeff

Thank you very much!! Your suggestion is definitely helpful.

Now I am happy now because I know something I can do.

Time




"Jeff" wrote in message
news

"toypup" wrote in message
om...

"time" wrote in message
...
Thank you for your response.

She plays well with her brother and cousins. She likes to talk to
parents
in
home. I did not see any problem she behave in school. However, her
teacher
told me that she is too quite in school. We came from an Asia country.

I hope she is more active when she plays. But what I can do?

Are you living in your land of origin? Is this behavior normal where
you
are from? I live the U.S. in an area with lots of Asians. The Asian
kids
with parents who are recent immigrants tend to be much more reserved
compared to those with Americanized parents. In fact, I am Asian, and I
really notice the difference. I think it's a cultural thing.

I thought you (time, the OP) were Asian. I picked that up from the way you
phrased your words in your post (I had a lot of friends from Asia in grad
school).

I think she is completely normal. Being from two cultures (part Asian,
part
US or other immigrant country), your daughter tends to do what is familiar
to her, which is be quiet and respectful.

Some things you might want to do is talk to her teacher. Maybe her teacher
can give her some leadership roles in the classroom, like taking
attendance,
handing out papers, maybe leading some small groups in learning things.
Depending on what's available, she might even help tutor a younger kid.
She
could also become a class representative or help publish a school
newspaper
or class newspaper. If she likes sports, she can join a soccer or softball
team or a dance team. Maybe music is her thing. Next summer, make sure she
is in some sort of community day camp where she has to go out and meet
other
kids (e.g., if you live in NYC, the NYC parks department has day camps at
Central Park and other parks in the city). Maybe send her to overnight
camp,
too.

The other thing you might want to do is get a mentor for your daughter.
This
might be particularly good if you're a single parent. A mentor is an adult
who serves as a role model for kids (and adults). New York City has
several
mentoring groups (note to adults in NYC: Become a mentor: More mentors are
needed all the time).

Finally, get out of the house yourself, if you haven't done so already.
Join
a book club, a committee in church, a community organization, help out at
school or something. Be a role model for her going out in the community.

You asked what you can do, so I gave you some ideas. Even though I think
these will be helpful to her, it sounds like your daughter is a quiet,
sensitive and completely normal nine-year old girl (who might enjoy the
suggested activities).

Jeff