school supplies!

If you want to get stressed, I have a good recipe...

....try to get school supplies on the evening before school starts!

I'm really grumpy, not being local, we didn't even know DS would need
school supplies until we got a list 10 days ago, let alone that said
list would be so rigid. We were on holiday last week so there hasn't
been all that much opportunity to shop for them and I'd glanced down the
aisle at the drug store and seen they had what I needed and decided to
wait until I had the list on me.

So off I go tonight to the local big supermarket, which is sold out of
almost everything I need, erasers of any colour were an empty section of
shelving, let alone getting the specified pink one (and why to you have
to get pink anyway - friends have told me that it's always been this way
and some of them started school 40+ years ago!). To make matters worse
having remembered to take the list with me, it somehow managed to escape
from the trolley between the entrance and school supplies aisle, so I
don't even have a difinitive list of what I'm trying to buy!

We also didn't find out until that same mailing that we needed a doctor
signed physical form, call our paediatricans to find that for the doctor
to sign it without seeing the child, they have to have had a physical
within the last year, and we'd missed that by two weeks, not that we
hadn't attempted to schedule a physical for a year after the last one, I
called at the end of April and we have an appointment in 3 weeks time
(that's a 5 month wait!).

If I find things this difficult when I speak the same language, how hard
must it be for a parent who doesn't have English as a first language? A
lot of this stuff is cultural, not language, even something like "a roll
of scotch tape" is none trivial, do you mean it has to be scotch brand,
or is that just what everyone calls sticky tape and if you do mean
scotch tape, there were at least 3 that passed for a roll of sticky tape
(transparent, gift wrap and magic). I can't claim us brits are any
better as we would likely say sellotape, which is also a brand name, to
mean any kind of tape, but then I've never seen such a prescriptive
school supplies list in the UK, so it probably matters less!

I had to buy a lot of chocolate to calm myself down. It's only
orientation tomorrow anyway. Local school district is on strike, so I
bet we'll have some very crazy parents soon, thankfully DS is in K based
at a christian preschool, so not effected by the strike.

DS has just got back from the drug store with all the things I couldn't
get at the supermarket - I've reminded myself exactly why I shop online.

Cheers
Anne

Yep, pretty stressful. For the exception of this year, I tend to buy school
supplies throughout the year and in the beginning of the summer when it is
not a hardship financially or on my sanity. However, with you being a first
timer in school, it would be very stressful since you didn't anticipate
having to need supplies. You will from now on, so perhaps you can be more
prepared. Our elementary finally did start sending a school supply list in
the beginning of the summer that I thought was helpful, but a little too
late for me as my kids are in middle and high school. Unfortunately, I
waited until the last minute this year and it was very crowded and
stressful, but the stores still had supplies. I don't buy supplies from a
grocery store, as they are too expensive. I buy them from places like
Target, Walmart, etc.. And yes, I had to have some wine Monday night to calm
my nerves. Chocolate doesn't do it for me ;o)

Scotch tape, just means any type of sticky tape and not something like
masking tape. It doesn't have to be that exact brand.

Now that I have bought the basics in school supplies, my 8th grader brought
home yet more specific supplies that she needs. Oy.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
. ..
If you want to get stressed, I have a good recipe...

...try to get school supplies on the evening before school starts!

I'm really grumpy, not being local, we didn't even know DS would need
school supplies until we got a list 10 days ago, let alone that said list
would be so rigid. We were on holiday last week so there hasn't been all
that much opportunity to shop for them and I'd glanced down the aisle at
the drug store and seen they had what I needed and decided to wait until I
had the list on me.

So off I go tonight to the local big supermarket, which is sold out of
almost everything I need, erasers of any colour were an empty section of
shelving, let alone getting the specified pink one (and why to you have to
get pink anyway - friends have told me that it's always been this way and
some of them started school 40+ years ago!). To make matters worse having
remembered to take the list with me, it somehow managed to escape from the
trolley between the entrance and school supplies aisle, so I don't even
have a difinitive list of what I'm trying to buy!

We also didn't find out until that same mailing that we needed a doctor
signed physical form, call our paediatricans to find that for the doctor
to sign it without seeing the child, they have to have had a physical
within the last year, and we'd missed that by two weeks, not that we
hadn't attempted to schedule a physical for a year after the last one, I
called at the end of April and we have an appointment in 3 weeks time
(that's a 5 month wait!).

If I find things this difficult when I speak the same language, how hard
must it be for a parent who doesn't have English as a first language? A
lot of this stuff is cultural, not language, even something like "a roll
of scotch tape" is none trivial, do you mean it has to be scotch brand, or
is that just what everyone calls sticky tape and if you do mean scotch
tape, there were at least 3 that passed for a roll of sticky tape
(transparent, gift wrap and magic). I can't claim us brits are any better
as we would likely say sellotape, which is also a brand name, to mean any
kind of tape, but then I've never seen such a prescriptive school supplies
list in the UK, so it probably matters less!

I had to buy a lot of chocolate to calm myself down. It's only orientation
tomorrow anyway. Local school district is on strike, so I bet we'll have
some very crazy parents soon, thankfully DS is in K based at a christian
preschool, so not effected by the strike.

DS has just got back from the drug store with all the things I couldn't
get at the supermarket - I've reminded myself exactly why I shop online.

Cheers
Anne

I don't buy supplies from a
grocery store, as they are too expensive. I buy them from places like
Target, Walmart, etc.. And yes, I had to have some wine Monday night to calm
my nerves. Chocolate doesn't do it for me ;o)

Interesting, the supermarket in question was Fred Mayer and now I've
spoken to people today, it seems that the reason they were sold out was
that it was the cheapest place, cheaper than office depot and staples
anyway. We do have target, but it's on the edge of the city whereas the
3 mentioned above are central and all quite close to each other. We
don't have a Walmart for quite a way and the nearest in each direction
are also in notoriously busy areas, no one seems to think it's worth the
trip!

Cheers
Anne

Anne Rogers wrote:
If you want to get stressed, I have a good recipe...

...try to get school supplies on the evening before school starts!

I was in Tescos yesterday, and that was full of stressed out parents
trying to get stuff before school starts today.

[snip]
So off I go tonight to the local big supermarket, which is sold out of
almost everything I need, erasers of any colour were an empty section of
shelving, let alone getting the specified pink one (and why to you have
to get pink anyway - friends have told me that it's always been this way
and some of them started school 40+ years ago!). To make matters worse
having remembered to take the list with me, it somehow managed to escape
from the trolley between the entrance and school supplies aisle, so I
don't even have a difinitive list of what I'm trying to buy!

At secondary, Kiddo needed a specified calculator, but that was so the
teachers knew how it operated. Apart from that they are fairly lax.
Maybe it is because we have school uniforms, and teachers are used to
the slight variations between brands of white shirts etc.

[snip]
(transparent, gift wrap and magic). I can't claim us brits are any
better as we would likely say sellotape, which is also a brand name, to
mean any kind of tape, but then I've never seen such a prescriptive
school supplies list in the UK, so it probably matters less!
[snip]

I think there are always some things specific to schools. For instance,
when my eldest started at school, we were just told a plain t-shirt for
PE. At the end-of-year sports day, I found out that they would also
need a plain t-shirt in house colours for the games. If you had been to
the school (a significant number of parents had), or had older kids
there, you knew about this already. If this was your first child, you
didn't know until a few days before the games.

How about this for pressu J needs a red school sweatshirt. They
changed the design, and the new designs weren't going to be available
until yesterday. The suppliers hadn't sent any! New sweatshirts not
available until the morning that school started. Luckily she still
fitted into the old one...

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

"Penny Gaines" wrote in message
...
Anne Rogers wrote:
If you want to get stressed, I have a good recipe...

...try to get school supplies on the evening before school starts!

I was in Tescos yesterday, and that was full of stressed out parents
trying to get stuff before school starts today.

[snip]
So off I go tonight to the local big supermarket, which is sold out of
almost everything I need, erasers of any colour were an empty section of
shelving, let alone getting the specified pink one (and why to you have
to get pink anyway - friends have told me that it's always been this way
and some of them started school 40+ years ago!). To make matters worse
having remembered to take the list with me, it somehow managed to escape
from the trolley between the entrance and school supplies aisle, so I
don't even have a difinitive list of what I'm trying to buy!

At secondary, Kiddo needed a specified calculator, but that was so the
teachers knew how it operated. Apart from that they are fairly lax.
Maybe it is because we have school uniforms, and teachers are used to the
slight variations between brands of white shirts etc.

[snip]
(transparent, gift wrap and magic). I can't claim us brits are any better
as we would likely say sellotape, which is also a brand name, to mean any
kind of tape, but then I've never seen such a prescriptive school
supplies list in the UK, so it probably matters less!
[snip]

I think there are always some things specific to schools. For instance,
when my eldest started at school, we were just told a plain t-shirt for
PE. At the end-of-year sports day, I found out that they would also need
a plain t-shirt in house colours for the games. If you had been to the
school (a significant number of parents had), or had older kids there, you
knew about this already. If this was your first child, you didn't know
until a few days before the games.

How about this for pressu J needs a red school sweatshirt. They
changed the design, and the new designs weren't going to be available
until yesterday. The suppliers hadn't sent any! New sweatshirts not
available until the morning that school started. Luckily she still fitted
into the old one...

I think that's a lot of the issue-that there's some assumption that parents
know what's going on.

My DD is at a private school for pre-K this year, and I kept getting
conflicting information on uniforms. They're required for K-6, and I got the
uniform list sent out at least 3x, but on the website, there was a statement
that they weren't required.

Finally, we got the word that pre-K only had to be in "substantial
compliance" with the dress code, but that the prime consideration should be
that the child could handle the clothes themselves. Ok, not a problem. DD
and I picked out skirts, shorts and the like which generally matched the
school uniform, but had fasteners which 3 1/2 yr old fingers could manage
and would be practical on the playground and in gym, which is what I assumed
"substantial compliance" meant.

Apparently, my definition of substantial compliance was a lot more vigorous
than most, because while DD's there in her little skirts and shirts with
collars, her classmates are arriving in high school musical and spiderman. I
believe there are three children in her class who dress more formally-and in
all cases, we're the ones for whom this is our first child in the school
(and, I suspect, in all cases we're the parents for whom this is our first
experience with private school in general).

Oh, well. My DD loves dressing up in her "school costumes" like the big
kids, and it doesn't bother her that her classmates don't, maybe because
hers is one of only two classes in the school that don't wear uniforms. And
it should be an easy transition when she starts K and actually has to wear
uniforms (which, since we have the "uniform dress" in public school, will be
the case no matter where she goes, unless I home school).

We're still waiting for the official school t-shirt for sports and field
trips to arrive. Apparently, when they ordered them, they only went down to
a small, forgetting just how tiny beginning of the year preschoolers are.
Since their first field trip is next week, hopefully the t-shirts will
arrive in time.

I think that's a lot of the issue-that there's some assumption that parents
know what's going on.

It's not just school, it's life! There are so many things that are just
assumed, but don't necessarily have a clear explaination anywhere. An
example of this was when we got our first property tax bill, DH paid it,
after he'd done it and I found out, I remembered something about it
being paid in with the mortgage and I only knew that because a friend
had gone through her break down of fees due on the day of escrow so I
could estimate ours and she murmered something about paying some tax and
them holding it, or something. So I had no clear idea of what really
happened and DH had missed it completely. The bill didn't say anything
like "for information only", it was as far as we could tell the same
bill that anyone would receive, regardless of how it was going to be
paid. Well, if you get a bill you pay it, so he did. Then when we got
the next bill, it was zero because we'd paid the last one twice so what
was now due had already been credited to our account. When we looked at
the mortgage statement, there were definitely some hints that tax was
being taken, but it wasn't clear and through the whole process of
getting a mortgage you give so many numbers that how can you know what
the purpose of each was, they take homeowner dues into consideration
when determining your loan amount, but they don't take your money and
redirect it for you!

It turned out the be quite inconvenient as because it was the first
payment of a split year the tax people took it as 2nd payment rather
than overpayment, so would not refund and mortgage never return anything
whilst it's ongoing. Having just moved internationally we could have
done with that cash rather than having a tiny bit removed from our
capital and fractionally less interest over 30 years, our monthly
payment dropped by a few dollars, but it was a drop in the ocean
compared to the tax bill, which could have paid a few months preschool.

Cheers
Anne

In article , Anne Rogers says...


I think that's a lot of the issue-that there's some assumption that parents
know what's going on.

It's not just school, it's life! There are so many things that are just
assumed, but don't necessarily have a clear explaination anywhere. An
example of this was when we got our first property tax bill, DH paid it,
after he'd done it and I found out, I remembered something about it
being paid in with the mortgage and I only knew that because a friend
had gone through her break down of fees due on the day of escrow so I
could estimate ours and she murmered something about paying some tax and
them holding it, or something. So I had no clear idea of what really
happened and DH had missed it completely. The bill didn't say anything
like "for information only", it was as far as we could tell the same
bill that anyone would receive, regardless of how it was going to be
paid. Well, if you get a bill you pay it, so he did. Then when we got
the next bill, it was zero because we'd paid the last one twice so what
was now due had already been credited to our account. When we looked at
the mortgage statement, there were definitely some hints that tax was
being taken, but it wasn't clear and through the whole process of
getting a mortgage you give so many numbers that how can you know what
the purpose of each was, they take homeowner dues into consideration
when determining your loan amount, but they don't take your money and
redirect it for you!

It turned out the be quite inconvenient as because it was the first
payment of a split year the tax people took it as 2nd payment rather
than overpayment, so would not refund and mortgage never return anything
whilst it's ongoing. Having just moved internationally we could have
done with that cash rather than having a tiny bit removed from our
capital and fractionally less interest over 30 years, our monthly
payment dropped by a few dollars, but it was a drop in the ocean
compared to the tax bill, which could have paid a few months preschool.

??!?

They didn't discuss escrow with you when you obtained your mortgage?

I can see how one spouse would not remember, but it sounds like you both weren't
clear on it.

Banty

Banty wrote:

In article , Anne Rogers says...


I think that's a lot of the issue-that there's some assumption that parents
know what's going on.

It's not just school, it's life! There are so many things that are just
assumed, but don't necessarily have a clear explaination anywhere. An

If you didn't understand it,you should have asked. It isn't necessary
to blame this on 'things that are assumed'. You ask and keep on
asking until you understand everything. Don't let them fob you off
with some wonky explanation.

When we sold our last house, the paperwork was such a mess that the
closing took 3 or 4 hours. They had the wrong house address, the
wrong name of the buyers, and a LOT of the money numbers on the
documents were wrong.

But we and our realtor sat there with the buyers and their rep and
their little girl who was about 3, and the bank person, and made him
straighten every single thing out until it was all right. It was
their first house purchase and all of us ganged up on the bank man to
make sure that it was done right for them.

When my daughter closed on her house that she has now, she was in
England. So my dh and I went to the closing after we did the house
walk-through, and I picked up the check from her credit union for
the things that are required to be paid right away. And of course
they had not done the paperwork right and even though she had the
check drawn for $500 extra, they were still $500 short. It was lucky
that we were there and could cover it with our own check.

example of this was when we got our first property tax bill, DH paid it,
after he'd done it and I found out, I remembered something about it
being paid in with the mortgage and I only knew that because a friend
had gone through her break down of fees due on the day of escrow so I
could estimate ours and she murmered something about paying some tax and
them holding it, or something. So I had no clear idea of what really
happened and DH had missed it completely. The bill didn't say anything
like "for information only", it was as far as we could tell the same

Because it isn't for information only. At least check with the bank.
Weren't there also insurance, electric and other utility bills being
dealt with at the closing.

Also, it is possible that the bank WON'T pay the bill promptly like
they should and then you would be in arrears on your tax bill and have
to pay a penalty. Or they might transfer the mortgage to another
bank, and the other bank doesn't get the payment notice in time.

My tax bill on this house is $1672.00, and I pay it all at once
because we don't have an escrow account. That's because we paid the
mortgage off 5 years ago.

bill that anyone would receive, regardless of how it was going to be
paid. Well, if you get a bill you pay it, so he did. Then when we got
the next bill, it was zero because we'd paid the last one twice so what
was now due had already been credited to our account. When we looked at
the mortgage statement, there were definitely some hints that tax was
being taken, but it wasn't clear and through the whole process of
getting a mortgage you give so many numbers that how can you know what
the purpose of each was, they take homeowner dues into consideration
when determining your loan amount, but they don't take your money and
redirect it for you!

It turned out the be quite inconvenient as because it was the first
payment of a split year the tax people took it as 2nd payment rather
than overpayment, so would not refund and mortgage never return anything
whilst it's ongoing. Having just moved internationally we could have
done with that cash rather than having a tiny bit removed from our
capital and fractionally less interest over 30 years, our monthly
payment dropped by a few dollars, but it was a drop in the ocean
compared to the tax bill, which could have paid a few months preschool.

??!?

They didn't discuss escrow with you when you obtained your mortgage?

I can see how one spouse would not remember, but it sounds like you both weren't
clear on it.

Banty

Banty wrote:
In article , Anne Rogers says...

I think that's a lot of the issue-that there's some assumption that parents
know what's going on.
It's not just school, it's life! There are so many things that are just
assumed, but don't necessarily have a clear explaination anywhere. An
example of this was when we got our first property tax bill, DH paid it,
after he'd done it and I found out, I remembered something about it
being paid in with the mortgage and I only knew that because a friend
had gone through her break down of fees due on the day of escrow so I
could estimate ours and she murmered something about paying some tax and
them holding it, or something. So I had no clear idea of what really
happened and DH had missed it completely. The bill didn't say anything
like "for information only", it was as far as we could tell the same
bill that anyone would receive, regardless of how it was going to be
paid. Well, if you get a bill you pay it, so he did. Then when we got
[snip]

They didn't discuss escrow with you when you obtained your mortgage?

I can see how one spouse would not remember, but it sounds like you both weren't
clear on it.

I think that might be another example of cultural differences! From
what I have read there are huge differences between buying a house in
teh UK and buying one in the USA.

Over here, you pay tax when buying a house, but it has nothing to do
with property taxes going to the local council, it goes to the main
government. Property taxes are charged completely seperately. I can
completely understand that Anne's dh might not have realised that this
bill didn't need to be paid.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

They didn't discuss escrow with you when you obtained your mortgage?

I can see how one spouse would not remember, but it sounds like you both weren't
clear on it.

I think the problem is, so many things were discussed that it's entirely
possible that it was said and forgotten, but I'm about 95% sure that
this wasn't said, as I did have the vague idea in advance, but then
don't remember anything confirming it at the time. I think a lot of
things were gone over extreemly quickly as we ended up having a last
minute crisis on the mortgage caused by an error in the person
preapproving us, so there was a lot for everyone to deal with at the
last minute and less time to go through finer details.

We were given a book called "Hello USA" that did provide plenty of
useful info, there are silly things like utilities, that are paid for in
a different way, like water being metered and having to pay for trash
collection.

Different names for things can also make thing hard to find out, in the
UK there is a difference in what kind of mortage you can get if you have
10% to put down as a deposit rather than less than that. We asked many
many people if there was such a number in the US, but we must have been
using the words, it was only later on that someone said we'd have been
able to get something better had we put down 20% - had we known that we
would have made different plans and put down that or more, as it was,
not knowing this important figure, despite asking multiple people and
trying to do our own research, we chose not to sell our house in the UK
and rent it out thus meaning we were scraping the barrell to get money
for a deposit and did not have 20%. Had we not asked, there would have
been some excuse, perhaps it's one of those things that anyone who'd
spent any time in the US would know, but we asked, many times, we asked
our realtor, two mortage advisors, our relocation specialist and many
other people all who said, just put down as much as you can - which is
way too simplistic, it might not be for some people, but even when we
explained that we had to make some choices still no one told us this
number - yet after we'd been here a few weeks, it was obvious it must be
an important one, as every advert for mortgages we heard on the radio
had the fast talk, equivalent to small print saying loan about 80% of
value....

Cheers
Anne