should i ask the NY courts for an official support ammount?

I make 51,500 a year.
My paycheck after taxes is almost 2900 a month.

Rent is 1225

When my relationship went away, she told me that the state of NY demands
that I pay about 1200 a month plus child care (babysitter) plus health
insurance. I looked this up and it seems to check correct.

So, I have been steadily sending her 1200/mo (at least) over the last year
and a half. When she asks and I can give it, I send more.
We don't have an arrangement through the courts.

So, rent minus support leaves over $400/mo for car insurance, gas, food,
cable, etc etc etc. IT'S REALLY HARD.
If I lost my job I would be out on the street immediately.

By what I check in the NY state site it seems that yes, I should be
sending her between 1100 and 1200 a month and help out with

She doesn't work, we have two kids. She says that full time work as a
teacher would only give her $600/mo after what she has to pay for day care.

Is there any chance in the world that maybe maybe maybe- if I took this up
with the courts in NY, they would lower what I pay?

I don't want to be irresponsible. I just.. Would like to save a little
money to someday send my kids to school- and to assure that if someday I
lose my job I can get one again and not be out in the streets.
That's all.

I'm scared to take it up with the courts in NY- I'm scared they may ask
for *more* then what I send her- and I would .. not be able to pay rent
and end up losing my job .. likely just kill myself because this is
fvck1ng impossible.

I had to dish out a bunch of money to the irs just now. (no, child
support is not tax deductible etc). I sent her $900- and I don't know
where the FvK i am going to be pulling an extra $300 from.
I hate my life. Sigh.

"harcrelc" wrote in

I hate my life. Sigh.


Welcome Comrade, to the Suckers club of America!

You are legally ****ed by this government and there is nothing you can do
about it.

Best you can do for yourself is grab a part-time job and hope they don't
find out about it, because they'll want some of that too.

You are now a second class citizen, they have a license to do what they want
with you.
Your life means nothing to this government, but it's "all in the best
interest of the child!". LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

On Aug 2, 10:23 am, harcrelc wrote:
I make 51,500 a year.
My paycheck after taxes is almost 2900 a month.

Rent is 1225

When my relationship went away, she told me that the state of NY demands
that I pay about 1200 a month plus child care (babysitter) plus health
insurance. I looked this up and it seems to check correct.

So, I have been steadily sending her 1200/mo (at least) over the last year
and a half. When she asks and I can give it, I send more.
We don't have an arrangement through the courts.

So, rent minus support leaves over $400/mo for car insurance, gas, food,
cable, etc etc etc. IT'S REALLY HARD.
If I lost my job I would be out on the street immediately.

By what I check in the NY state site it seems that yes, I should be
sending her between 1100 and 1200 a month and help out with

She doesn't work, we have two kids. She says that full time work as a
teacher would only give her $600/mo after what she has to pay for day care.

Is there any chance in the world that maybe maybe maybe- if I took this up
with the courts in NY, they would lower what I pay?

I don't want to be irresponsible. I just.. Would like to save a little
money to someday send my kids to school- and to assure that if someday I
lose my job I can get one again and not be out in the streets.
That's all.

I'm scared to take it up with the courts in NY- I'm scared they may ask
for *more* then what I send her- and I would .. not be able to pay rent
and end up losing my job .. likely just kill myself because this is
fvck1ng impossible.

I had to dish out a bunch of money to the irs just now. (no, child
support is not tax deductible etc). I sent her $900- and I don't know
where the FvK i am going to be pulling an extra $300 from.
I hate my life. Sigh.

You can finess as you have been. By that I mean trying to stay on
reasonable terms and possibly if you run into trouble she will not run
straight to court and get the system involved. But that is risky and I
find it is a very rare custodial parent who remains reasonable.

By paying as you have you have pretty much set a floor on the amount
of CS the court would determine. You and every NCP in this forum needs
to read and then know the child support guidelines for their
state...you need to know them cold. You need to know exactly what the
guidelines say you should pay.

You need to familiarize yourself with preparing your own motions and
representing yourself. I've been criticized before by some NCPs who
feel they are taking too much risk representing themselves. IMO it is
the ONLY way to survive this process. There is no way in the world you
can possibly pay both CS and attorney fees. Many states allow at least
a partial offset of health insurance payments against CS. Have you
factored that in?

Most states do allow the attribution of income. A nasty little fantasy
loophole which allows the judge to "legally" say well you earned
$xx,xxx once so even though you have two broken arms and severe brain
damage, we'll just keep CS right where it is. You need to know that
aspect of the law particularly because if your state has it, you can
use it against the custodial parent to offset the amount of money you
owe. This is difficult if the child is very young but if you push it
is very effective when the child is in school full time.

The CS system IS insane. But all these responses to new NCP's that
their lives are now over and they should just lie down and die are
neither helpful nor accurate. You can fight this stuff. It takes
determination and persistence and is emotionally very difficult. But
telling NCPs they should just give up simply is wrong and exactly what
the CPs and judges want them to do.

Don

"don_1228" wrote in

The CS system IS insane. But all these responses to new NCP's that
their lives are now over and they should just lie down and die are
neither helpful nor accurate. You can fight this stuff.

Yes and how many wasted time and money to get a court reduction.

After 2 court dates and $800 in lawyers fees, I got my monthly amount
reduced by a whopping $7.
The only satisfaction I got was the fat cow complained she wasn't getting
enough.

Didn't know it was my job to carry her financially thru this life!

On Aug 2, 3:01 pm, "DB" wrote:
"don_1228" wrote in

The CS system IS insane. But all these responses to new NCP's that
their lives are now over and they should just lie down and die are
neither helpful nor accurate. You can fight this stuff.

Yes and how many wasted time and money to get a court reduction.

After 2 court dates and $800 in lawyers fees, I got my monthly amount
reduced by a whopping $7.
The only satisfaction I got was the fat cow complained she wasn't getting
enough.

Didn't know it was my job to carry her financially thru this life!

Two court dates? $800??

umm....first that is why I said NCPs need to represent themselves at
least after the divorce. Even representing myself I still have spent
several thousands on legal advice but the money is so much better
spent when it is for consultation, strategy and dotting the "i's" on
the motions than being represented.

I have probably had 25 court dates following the divorce.

The first 5 or so went no where.

The last few did work. And worked quite well but only because I knew
the law better than the idiot mediator that would have rail-roaded me
if I hadn't. By this time the "file" was literally several feet
thick, the judges saw me there so often, some would nod to me in the
hall because they thought I was an attorney.

The judges realized I was not going to stop. I also got expert
witnesses regarding income attribution. She had none. You have to
force the judges hand. The only way they will take your side is when
you make it impossible for them to take the CP's side.

I know how bad this is. But most people do go to court once or twice
and when they get slammed they do give up. That's my point.

If this legal-rape only lasted a few years, I wouldn't have fought
like this. It took quite a toll. But I was not going to live like a
homeless person for 20 years.

This situation will not improve until more men push back within the
system. And keep pushing.

Don

"don_1228" wrote in

This situation will not improve until more men push back within the
system. And keep pushing.

My case is clear across the country, i can't afford to fly there for every
little motion.

It's not going to improve until you fix it at the political level!

Mike Cox, the AG for Michigan cried in a public as he apologized to his wife
for acts of Adultery.

Maybe more politicians need to experience their own medicine before things
get changed?

On Aug 2, 7:02 pm, "DB" wrote:
"don_1228" wrote in

This situation will not improve until more men push back within the
system. And keep pushing.

My case is clear across the country, i can't afford to fly there for every
little motion.

It's not going to improve until you fix it at the political level!

Maybe more politicians need to experience their own medicine before things
get changed?

You are right of course that systemic change must occur at a political
level.

The problem I have with that is that I've been in this meat grinder
for 16 years and I don't feel anything has changed at a societal or
national level in fact in some ways it has only worsened. The average
person still has no clue of the amounts; lack of due process; the
overall unfairness and irresponsibility of the way in which assets are
handled or of debtor's prison. There still is knee-jerk reaction..."If
you fuss about any aspect of CS then you are scum." That is the
starting point still for any discussion with people naive about the CS
system.

I don't see this changing at a national or state level for well...not
in my lifetime. So the only near-term solution I see is taking on one
CP at a time. Rather than telling every new NCP to lie down and die.

Don

"don_1228" wrote in

The problem I have with that is that I've been in this meat grinder
for 16 years and I don't feel anything has changed at a societal or
national level in fact in some ways it has only worsened.

And it's only going to get worse as each new politican comes in with their
great ideas for collecting CS for these poor starving children. They build
their political careers on the backs of NCP's.

The average
person still has no clue of the amounts; lack of due process; the
overall unfairness and irresponsibility of the way in which assets are
handled or of debtor's prison.

Of course people are kept ignorant of this system, how else would a
politician win votes trying extort $1200/mth from people living pay check to
pay check?


There still is knee-jerk reaction..."If you fuss about any aspect of CS
then you are scum." That is the
starting point still for any discussion with people naive about the CS
system.

Ask them if they would care if the Government forced them to lease 2 BMW's
per month regardless of their income?


I don't see this changing at a national or state level for well...not
in my lifetime. So the only near-term solution I see is taking on one
CP at a time. Rather than telling every new NCP to lie down and die.

I wasted 1000's on attorney fee's for something that is already laid out
with no defence.
CS is a oneway railroad ride for NCP's, all they can do is pay the set
rates if they can afford them.