How to Handle A Friend (long)

Hello. I have been reading on here for a couple of days, and I have to say
this is a very informative newsgroup.

I had originally came looking for a pregnancy newsgroup because I was
feeling terribly depressed about my birthing options. (I am due January
23rd, it is my second, my first is seven, and I am THRITY FOUR and feeling
it!) I had, for many years, wanted a water birth because from everything I
have read, they ease the pain of labor a great deal. I found out that they
are not available where I live--Memphis, for goodness sakes--in any
hospital, so my only option to have a water birth is a home birth. I have a
friend (whom I admire and is very well-liked around town) who is a home
birth advocate and has had all three of her boys at home. She gave me cause
to consider having a home birth, because the last one was an absolute doozy.
I won't go into all the details, but I lost a lot of confidence in doctors
after being told:

1) I was probably going to have profound trouble getting pregnant (I was one
month pregnant at the time, my second pregnancy, first was a blighted ovum)
including having my eggs removed and in-vitro.

2) I probably had a brain tumor (pituitary)

3) I was feeling depressed (suicidally) because I was NOT getting pregnant
(again, I had bad mood swings when I first got pregnant)

4) Here, try some Ritalin (another story)

5) My HcG blood draw came up negative (the doctor ordered quanatative and
not qualitative--my ADHD physician, see above)

6) Due date was off by at least two weeks (I made them give me a sonogram
after all this mess)

7) I had high blood sugar (never figured this one out--got tested over and
over and it was normal!)

8) I was leaking fluid for at least a month before I had her. The doctor
said, and I quote, "Gee, you could've blown the dust off this baby!" when
she arrived. No one believed me except for my mother (who was the only one
who figured out I was pregnant, too. Hurrah for NP's!)

and several other things that I care not mention. Birth was bad, too. Five
and a half hours on my back--just pushing, with a fourteen inch head. I was
induced, and not asked about anything they did to me OR my baby. It left a
terrible hole in me to have finally--after all that time, not to be happy to
see my child. I just felt like, "Oh, good, they got it out." I don't want
to feel that way again, nor do I want to be at the mercy of a hospital
staff. They took my daughter (who had no merconium) and kept her for over
an hour. I had to ask to see my baby, not to mention the nurses just
walking into my recovery room without even waiting for permission. (Why do
people knock and then just walk right in???) It was embarassing and
humiliating. Not to mention that the epidural did not take care of all of
the pain, and the lactation nurse was one of the rudest individuals I have
ever met in my life (she had recently been demoted--small wonder).

SO one day a few weeks ago I'm walking back from taking my daughter to
school, which is a whopping sixth-tenths of a mile away when I notice my
pants are wet! I mean REALLY wet. I go into the doctor. The NP that I had
to see said there wasn't any fluid, and I said, "Then what was it, my pants
were soaked?" And she said that I had a lot of discharge from a yeast
infection. Now I don't know about you guys, but I've had yeast before and
it doesn't wet your sweat pants four inches down each leg. Maybe that's
just me, but that's my experience! I thought to myself, here we go again!
I had also asked my doctor a personal question about sexual dysfunction, and
was not satisfied with his answer. I'll just say that I've never had an OB
use the word "pussy" in a conversation before, and was well, put off by its
use.

Needless to say, I'm at a big practice, I don't have a CLUE who I'll get in
delivery, (I've only seen two doctors out of eight) and I told a friend (who
works at the clinic I mentioned) that I was going to TALK to a midwife. She
went off on a tirade (rare for her; she's a VERY calm individual) that I
was being selfish and I just needed to buck up and go into the hospital and
not worry about it and eat my ice chips like a good girl. (I wanted to
bring raspberry tea along plus be able to eat SOMETHING if my labor would be
protracted. Last time I caught hell about eating two popcicles. What was I
gonna do, eat the stick???) I had told her all the things I had issues
with before (why do I have to have all this equipment attached to me, etc.?
Shouldn't I be able to get up and PEE without permission???). Ideally I
want a hospital water birth assisted by a midwife. (Someone who doesn't
leave at the end of their shift WOULD be nice) but as I tried to tell her, I
was weighing my options (not to mention there were some serious insurance
problems going on as well). I know these are people she works with on a
daily basis and she had heard (several months before) about my not liking
hospital births. However, I don't think a friend should be so critical of
another as to call her selfish with her child just for considering a home
birth... How is looking into options selfish? I was really taken aback by
her reaction.

On a positive note, I did get permission from my doctor to stay at home in
my hot tub (96 degree hot tub, that is) until the contractions are 5 minutes
apart. If it wasn't for my mother's prescence, I wouldn't do that because I
am twenty miles from the hospital. (One mile from Memphis, twenty miles
from the hospital that insurance covers). Today I was told that the baby is
possibly breech, so we'll find out next week what's going on with that.

But the real issue now is I don't know how to handle my friend. I have been
so angry with her because I was called selfish. I understand she took my
criticism to heart because I was questioning people she knows and works with
every day. Why should I have a problem with wearing all those monitors,
says she. All I know is I felt I had nothing to do with my daughter's
birth, and I do not want to be reduced again to thinking, "Oh, that's what
that was." as I did when they showed her to me. (She had her face towards
my left hip during birth, and it proved horribly difficult to get her out).
The closer I get to my son's birth, the more I see what a hole the first one
left in me. My husband says I'm being too hard on myself, but I just don't
want to experience that again. I want to be happy to see him, and
experience some kind of pain relief that doesn't take away my urge to push
(which it did) or involve a needle in my spine.

Either way, having a midwife is out of the question because we can't afford
it. My mother also noted, and rightfully so, that my own emotional makeup
is not resillient enough to withstand a home birth if it went wrong. She
doesn't think I would ever recover, and I can't say I disagree.

Has anyone else here experienced this kind of reaction from friends and how
did you handle it? Thanks for reading this far!

Sk

Susanne,

Your experiences thus far sound dreadful. I too am in the Memphis area and
have had way to much experience with several of the OB/GYN practices in the
area, and with multiple hospitals. If you care to email me I can try to
answer questions about the specific hospitals and doctors that I have had
the umm **pleasure** of dealing with. After 14 surgeries in less than two
years, my knowledge base in the area medical field, has gotten pretty broad.

Regardless, good luck with this pregnancy and a much better happier birth
experience.


Cindi
thom6821 at bellsouth dot net
"Susanne Koenig" wrote in message
...
Hello. I have been reading on here for a couple of days, and I have to
say
this is a very informative newsgroup.

I had originally came looking for a pregnancy newsgroup because I was
feeling terribly depressed about my birthing options. (I am due January
23rd, it is my second, my first is seven, and I am THRITY FOUR and feeling
it!) I had, for many years, wanted a water birth because from everything I
have read, they ease the pain of labor a great deal. I found out that
they
are not available where I live--Memphis, for goodness sakes--in any
hospital, so my only option to have a water birth is a home birth. I have
a
friend (whom I admire and is very well-liked around town) who is a home
birth advocate and has had all three of her boys at home. She gave me
cause
to consider having a home birth, because the last one was an absolute
doozy.
I won't go into all the details, but I lost a lot of confidence in doctors
after being told:

1) I was probably going to have profound trouble getting pregnant (I was
one
month pregnant at the time, my second pregnancy, first was a blighted
ovum)
including having my eggs removed and in-vitro.

2) I probably had a brain tumor (pituitary)

3) I was feeling depressed (suicidally) because I was NOT getting pregnant
(again, I had bad mood swings when I first got pregnant)

4) Here, try some Ritalin (another story)

5) My HcG blood draw came up negative (the doctor ordered quanatative and
not qualitative--my ADHD physician, see above)

6) Due date was off by at least two weeks (I made them give me a sonogram
after all this mess)

7) I had high blood sugar (never figured this one out--got tested over and
over and it was normal!)

8) I was leaking fluid for at least a month before I had her. The doctor
said, and I quote, "Gee, you could've blown the dust off this baby!" when
she arrived. No one believed me except for my mother (who was the only
one
who figured out I was pregnant, too. Hurrah for NP's!)

and several other things that I care not mention. Birth was bad, too.
Five
and a half hours on my back--just pushing, with a fourteen inch head. I
was
induced, and not asked about anything they did to me OR my baby. It left
a
terrible hole in me to have finally--after all that time, not to be happy
to
see my child. I just felt like, "Oh, good, they got it out." I don't
want
to feel that way again, nor do I want to be at the mercy of a hospital
staff. They took my daughter (who had no merconium) and kept her for over
an hour. I had to ask to see my baby, not to mention the nurses just
walking into my recovery room without even waiting for permission. (Why
do
people knock and then just walk right in???) It was embarassing and
humiliating. Not to mention that the epidural did not take care of all of
the pain, and the lactation nurse was one of the rudest individuals I have
ever met in my life (she had recently been demoted--small wonder).

SO one day a few weeks ago I'm walking back from taking my daughter to
school, which is a whopping sixth-tenths of a mile away when I notice my
pants are wet! I mean REALLY wet. I go into the doctor. The NP that I
had
to see said there wasn't any fluid, and I said, "Then what was it, my
pants
were soaked?" And she said that I had a lot of discharge from a yeast
infection. Now I don't know about you guys, but I've had yeast before and
it doesn't wet your sweat pants four inches down each leg. Maybe that's
just me, but that's my experience! I thought to myself, here we go again!
I had also asked my doctor a personal question about sexual dysfunction,
and
was not satisfied with his answer. I'll just say that I've never had an
OB
use the word "pussy" in a conversation before, and was well, put off by
its
use.

Needless to say, I'm at a big practice, I don't have a CLUE who I'll get
in
delivery, (I've only seen two doctors out of eight) and I told a friend
(who
works at the clinic I mentioned) that I was going to TALK to a midwife.
She
went off on a tirade (rare for her; she's a VERY calm individual) that I
was being selfish and I just needed to buck up and go into the hospital
and
not worry about it and eat my ice chips like a good girl. (I wanted to
bring raspberry tea along plus be able to eat SOMETHING if my labor would
be
protracted. Last time I caught hell about eating two popcicles. What was
I
gonna do, eat the stick???) I had told her all the things I had issues
with before (why do I have to have all this equipment attached to me,
etc.?
Shouldn't I be able to get up and PEE without permission???). Ideally I
want a hospital water birth assisted by a midwife. (Someone who doesn't
leave at the end of their shift WOULD be nice) but as I tried to tell her,
I
was weighing my options (not to mention there were some serious insurance
problems going on as well). I know these are people she works with on a
daily basis and she had heard (several months before) about my not liking
hospital births. However, I don't think a friend should be so critical of
another as to call her selfish with her child just for considering a home
birth... How is looking into options selfish? I was really taken aback
by
her reaction.

On a positive note, I did get permission from my doctor to stay at home in
my hot tub (96 degree hot tub, that is) until the contractions are 5
minutes
apart. If it wasn't for my mother's prescence, I wouldn't do that because
I
am twenty miles from the hospital. (One mile from Memphis, twenty miles
from the hospital that insurance covers). Today I was told that the baby
is
possibly breech, so we'll find out next week what's going on with that.

But the real issue now is I don't know how to handle my friend. I have
been
so angry with her because I was called selfish. I understand she took my
criticism to heart because I was questioning people she knows and works
with
every day. Why should I have a problem with wearing all those monitors,
says she. All I know is I felt I had nothing to do with my daughter's
birth, and I do not want to be reduced again to thinking, "Oh, that's what
that was." as I did when they showed her to me. (She had her face
towards
my left hip during birth, and it proved horribly difficult to get her
out).
The closer I get to my son's birth, the more I see what a hole the first
one
left in me. My husband says I'm being too hard on myself, but I just
don't
want to experience that again. I want to be happy to see him, and
experience some kind of pain relief that doesn't take away my urge to push
(which it did) or involve a needle in my spine.

Either way, having a midwife is out of the question because we can't
afford
it. My mother also noted, and rightfully so, that my own emotional makeup
is not resillient enough to withstand a home birth if it went wrong. She
doesn't think I would ever recover, and I can't say I disagree.

Has anyone else here experienced this kind of reaction from friends and
how
did you handle it? Thanks for reading this far!

Sk

Hoo boy! OK. Just to let you know my biases, I have had 4, one
hospital, one birth center, and 2 home births. The only reason
for the one hospital birth was a 31 week preemie. That said...

I think you are setting yourself up for a great deal of disappointment
and if your continue with your current plans for a hospital birth.

The first thing I would recommend that you do is get a copy of Henci
Goer's "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth." After you
read it you should sit your DH down and make him read it. A hospital
birth is NOT a safer birth for most women. In fact, it often leads
to more interventions and complications.

If you MUST endure a hospital birth, you should become well educated
on what you can refuse and how to do it. You should educate your DH
or even ideally hire a doula to advocate for your. Otherwise you are
likely to be processed through the system like a piece of meat!

As for a your friend is concerned, she is operating from the false
assumption that hospital births are better. There is plenty of
medical studies out there proving that she is wrong. You appear to
have two choices with regard to her.
1. Learn all the relevant information and give her the valid
arguments against her invalid arguments about the benefits of
hospital birth, citing sources and numbers. (start with my
book recommendation to get the data)
2. Ignore her and if she persisists tell her to f*** off!

I don't envy your current position. Birth can be an enabling and
empowering experience if the mother is treated with respect. It does
not sound like that is happening to you right now.

Good luck,
Larry

Having worked for an insurance company I just wanted to say that just
because the literature with your insurance says they won't pay for a midwife
doesn't necessarily mean that it won't. To clarify, if a midwife is
connected to an OB practice or other participating provider, often it WILL
be covered as it is billed the same as if you had a doctor. And also, you
can appeal a denied claim. A third option is to speak to someone in
"Coordinatioon of Benefits". If you can get the costs of a midwife assisted
birth and compare that to the costs of a doctor assisted birth, v often COB
department will help get that claim pushed through.

I just read your post again and you said that water births aren't available
in Memphis...I did a quick search and found the following that might be
helpful:

http://memphis.bizjournals.com/memph...06/story1.html (don't
know if this is close to you?)

http://yp.yahoo.com/py/ypResults.py?...ter%22+memphis
BirthPlace (listed as a Birthing Center)
877 Jefferson Av
Memphis, TN

http://www.tnnursemidwives.org/directory_practices.htm (If you can find a
midwife here, they often know all kinds of ways you can get an insurance
claim approved)
Christ Community Health Service
2861 Broad St.
Memphis TN 38112
901-458-0584
Fax: 901-325-6448
CNM: Margaret C. Taylor
Outpatient (OB/GYN) onlyHope this helps...and good luck with your "friend"
(sorry no advice for you there other than telling her to butt out!)Hope
evrything works out for you,CY


"Susanne Koenig" wrote in message
...
Hello. I have been reading on here for a couple of days, and I have to
say
this is a very informative newsgroup.

I had originally came looking for a pregnancy newsgroup because I was
feeling terribly depressed about my birthing options. (I am due January
23rd, it is my second, my first is seven, and I am THRITY FOUR and feeling
it!) I had, for many years, wanted a water birth because from everything I
have read, they ease the pain of labor a great deal. I found out that
they
are not available where I live--Memphis, for goodness sakes--in any
hospital, so my only option to have a water birth is a home birth. I have
a
friend (whom I admire and is very well-liked around town) who is a home
birth advocate and has had all three of her boys at home. She gave me
cause
to consider having a home birth, because the last one was an absolute
doozy.
I won't go into all the details, but I lost a lot of confidence in doctors
after being told:

1) I was probably going to have profound trouble getting pregnant (I was
one
month pregnant at the time, my second pregnancy, first was a blighted
ovum)
including having my eggs removed and in-vitro.

2) I probably had a brain tumor (pituitary)

3) I was feeling depressed (suicidally) because I was NOT getting pregnant
(again, I had bad mood swings when I first got pregnant)

4) Here, try some Ritalin (another story)

5) My HcG blood draw came up negative (the doctor ordered quanatative and
not qualitative--my ADHD physician, see above)

6) Due date was off by at least two weeks (I made them give me a sonogram
after all this mess)

7) I had high blood sugar (never figured this one out--got tested over and
over and it was normal!)

8) I was leaking fluid for at least a month before I had her. The doctor
said, and I quote, "Gee, you could've blown the dust off this baby!" when
she arrived. No one believed me except for my mother (who was the only
one
who figured out I was pregnant, too. Hurrah for NP's!)

and several other things that I care not mention. Birth was bad, too.
Five
and a half hours on my back--just pushing, with a fourteen inch head. I
was
induced, and not asked about anything they did to me OR my baby. It left
a
terrible hole in me to have finally--after all that time, not to be happy
to
see my child. I just felt like, "Oh, good, they got it out." I don't
want
to feel that way again, nor do I want to be at the mercy of a hospital
staff. They took my daughter (who had no merconium) and kept her for over
an hour. I had to ask to see my baby, not to mention the nurses just
walking into my recovery room without even waiting for permission. (Why
do
people knock and then just walk right in???) It was embarassing and
humiliating. Not to mention that the epidural did not take care of all of
the pain, and the lactation nurse was one of the rudest individuals I have
ever met in my life (she had recently been demoted--small wonder).

SO one day a few weeks ago I'm walking back from taking my daughter to
school, which is a whopping sixth-tenths of a mile away when I notice my
pants are wet! I mean REALLY wet. I go into the doctor. The NP that I
had
to see said there wasn't any fluid, and I said, "Then what was it, my
pants
were soaked?" And she said that I had a lot of discharge from a yeast
infection. Now I don't know about you guys, but I've had yeast before and
it doesn't wet your sweat pants four inches down each leg. Maybe that's
just me, but that's my experience! I thought to myself, here we go again!
I had also asked my doctor a personal question about sexual dysfunction,
and
was not satisfied with his answer. I'll just say that I've never had an
OB
use the word "pussy" in a conversation before, and was well, put off by
its
use.

Needless to say, I'm at a big practice, I don't have a CLUE who I'll get
in
delivery, (I've only seen two doctors out of eight) and I told a friend
(who
works at the clinic I mentioned) that I was going to TALK to a midwife.
She
went off on a tirade (rare for her; she's a VERY calm individual) that I
was being selfish and I just needed to buck up and go into the hospital
and
not worry about it and eat my ice chips like a good girl. (I wanted to
bring raspberry tea along plus be able to eat SOMETHING if my labor would
be
protracted. Last time I caught hell about eating two popcicles. What was
I
gonna do, eat the stick???) I had told her all the things I had issues
with before (why do I have to have all this equipment attached to me,
etc.?
Shouldn't I be able to get up and PEE without permission???). Ideally I
want a hospital water birth assisted by a midwife. (Someone who doesn't
leave at the end of their shift WOULD be nice) but as I tried to tell her,
I
was weighing my options (not to mention there were some serious insurance
problems going on as well). I know these are people she works with on a
daily basis and she had heard (several months before) about my not liking
hospital births. However, I don't think a friend should be so critical of
another as to call her selfish with her child just for considering a home
birth... How is looking into options selfish? I was really taken aback
by
her reaction.

On a positive note, I did get permission from my doctor to stay at home in
my hot tub (96 degree hot tub, that is) until the contractions are 5
minutes
apart. If it wasn't for my mother's prescence, I wouldn't do that because
I
am twenty miles from the hospital. (One mile from Memphis, twenty miles
from the hospital that insurance covers). Today I was told that the baby
is
possibly breech, so we'll find out next week what's going on with that.

But the real issue now is I don't know how to handle my friend. I have
been
so angry with her because I was called selfish. I understand she took my
criticism to heart because I was questioning people she knows and works
with
every day. Why should I have a problem with wearing all those monitors,
says she. All I know is I felt I had nothing to do with my daughter's
birth, and I do not want to be reduced again to thinking, "Oh, that's what
that was." as I did when they showed her to me. (She had her face
towards
my left hip during birth, and it proved horribly difficult to get her
out).
The closer I get to my son's birth, the more I see what a hole the first
one
left in me. My husband says I'm being too hard on myself, but I just
don't
want to experience that again. I want to be happy to see him, and
experience some kind of pain relief that doesn't take away my urge to push
(which it did) or involve a needle in my spine.

Either way, having a midwife is out of the question because we can't
afford
it. My mother also noted, and rightfully so, that my own emotional makeup
is not resillient enough to withstand a home birth if it went wrong. She
doesn't think I would ever recover, and I can't say I disagree.

Has anyone else here experienced this kind of reaction from friends and
how
did you handle it? Thanks for reading this far!

Sk

Having worked for an insurance company I just wanted to say that just
because the literature with your insurance says they won't pay for a
midwife
doesn't necessarily mean that it won't. To clarify, if a midwife is
connected to an OB practice or other participating provider, often it WILL
be covered as it is billed the same as if you had a doctor. And also, you
can appeal a denied claim. A third option is to speak to someone in
"Coordinatioon of Benefits". If you can get the costs of a midwife
assisted
birth and compare that to the costs of a doctor assisted birth, v often
COB
department will help get that claim pushed through.

Oh, wouldn't that be nice if someone COULD be with an OB? I'm telling you,
they are completely primitive here. There isn't a single midwife in town
that's backed up by a doctor. Period. It's all dry-dock hospital birth or
home birth or on the way in the back of the car.

My husband's insurance would list the midwife as out-of-network and would
only agree to pay half. And then there's the issue of not wanting a home
birth because of the baby's position, and quite frankly, I'm not that brave.

It's just really really sad there aren't any options here. None. The good
news being that they are building a birthing center (sponsored by the state)
that will, in the near future, have water births available. They are
building it in an old church, which I think is marvelous.

But again, I'm a baby late and a baby short. This is the last one and boy,
I just wish it could have been my way, just this once.

Thank you for the links. I am doubtful about our coverage, but I will still
take a look-see.

Sk

About those links: Visted those days ago. Birthplace is a joke, and a big
one. It's a public-health fascility for indigent mothers and has the same
standard hospital birth you will see anywhere.

Sk

I have to laugh, my husband's name is Larry!

I find your attitude encouraging. I won't have a doula; I'll have my
mother there, who is quite used to bossing nurses! LOL (If you only
knew... she's 4'11 and works in public health in the poorest town in the
poorest state in the union).

I will try and snag a copy when I go into Memphis (Cindi knows what I mean;
I'm down in Southaven).

I was told yesterday that the baby is breech (I think he's transverse,
myself) and my doctor could not locate the head. We are supposed to go in
for a sonogram on Monday and find out whether I am going in for a c-section.

Yes, I know, I know, but my family could not handle the stress of a breech
home birth, and financially, we can't afford a home birth anyway. I have to
be honest--after all the damage that my last birth did (she had a fourteen
inch head) with my laceration (I had a fourth degree, even though I had
pushed for so long) I am really not that upset about skipping the whole
thing. That sounds like a terrible sentiment but if I have my choice
between a dry-dock hospital birth, and a c-section, I'll take the section.
I've experienced a mild form of incontinence (sneezing and trampolines are
problematic :-) since I had my daughter and everything down there was left
out of whack for a long, long time.

If anyone has any input regarding this further development, please post! I
am VERY appreciative of all the advice I got today.

Oh, and about "getting permission", I was being polite. I asked him what he
thought, but believe me, they're not getting me before they have to!!!

Sk

"Larry McMahan" wrote in message
...
Hoo boy! OK. Just to let you know my biases, I have had 4, one
hospital, one birth center, and 2 home births. The only reason
for the one hospital birth was a 31 week preemie. That said...

I think you are setting yourself up for a great deal of disappointment
and if your continue with your current plans for a hospital birth.

The first thing I would recommend that you do is get a copy of Henci
Goer's "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth." After you
read it you should sit your DH down and make him read it. A hospital
birth is NOT a safer birth for most women. In fact, it often leads
to more interventions and complications.

If you MUST endure a hospital birth, you should become well educated
on what you can refuse and how to do it. You should educate your DH
or even ideally hire a doula to advocate for your. Otherwise you are
likely to be processed through the system like a piece of meat!

As for a your friend is concerned, she is operating from the false
assumption that hospital births are better. There is plenty of
medical studies out there proving that she is wrong. You appear to
have two choices with regard to her.
1. Learn all the relevant information and give her the valid
arguments against her invalid arguments about the benefits of
hospital birth, citing sources and numbers. (start with my
book recommendation to get the data)
2. Ignore her and if she persisists tell her to f*** off!

I don't envy your current position. Birth can be an enabling and
empowering experience if the mother is treated with respect. It does
not sound like that is happening to you right now.

Good luck,
Larry

Susanne Koenig wrote:


I was told yesterday that the baby is breech (I think he's transverse,
myself) and my doctor could not locate the head. We are supposed to go in
for a sonogram on Monday and find out whether I am going in for a c-section.


Why would that necessitate an automatic c-section.
Would you not try an external version first? In my mind,
that beats the heck out of a c-section, though it's not
absolutely guaranteed that it would work. Worth a shot,
though. My last was breech, went in for a version, turned
her, and had a happy, healthy homebirth.


Best wishes,

Ericka

I was told yesterday that the baby is breech (I think he's transverse,
myself) and my doctor could not locate the head. We are supposed to go
in
for a sonogram on Monday and find out whether I am going in for a
c-section.


Why would that necessitate an automatic c-section.
Would you not try an external version first? In my mind,
that beats the heck out of a c-section, though it's not
absolutely guaranteed that it would work. Worth a shot,
though. My last was breech, went in for a version, turned
her, and had a happy, healthy homebirth.


Best wishes,

Ericka

External version? I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that. Is that where they
try and turn the baby? My best friend had that tried, and it was a horrible
failure.

This is frustrating to express, but the point is I can't have a home birth
($$$) and I don't want to be up in one of those beds not getting any choice
or participation in my birth as well. Given my choices, I would rather skip
the whole ordeal than be put in a position where my choices were made for me
without my consent. I know I could put my foot down, but I'd rather skip
the ugly scenes because trust me, it would be nasty.

Sk

In ,
Susanne Koenig wrote:

*External version? I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that. Is that where they
*try and turn the baby? My best friend had that tried, and it was a horrible
*failure.

Yes, it's where they try to turn the baby. OK, so you might fail, but
isn't it better to try to do it, than to just automatically go to
surgery???

h.
--
hillary israeli vmd http://www.hillary.net
"uber vaccae in quattuor partes divisum est."
not-so-newly minted veterinarian-at-large