8-5 nanny at home

I'm planning the day care situation for my kids. I admit that's all I
think of. So much that it's driving me crazy. The pg hormones are not
helping either!

By the time I have to go back to work after mat. leave, the new baby
will be about 3 months old and my DD will be about one and half. I was
weighing the options of having someone come over to my house to look
after them 8-5 while I work. The other choices are leaving them at an
at-home day care or finding a commercial day care.

I want to ask you about your experiences of a nanny coming home
everyday to watch your kids (not those that live in your house. I
don't want that arrangement.) Obviously there are some conveniences
like you don't have to get the kids ready in the morning, drive to and
from the day care etc.. But then you have the issue of having to leave
the entire house and contents at her disposal every day.

I have a friend who had horrible experience and another friend who
can't stop praising this arrangement. DH is kinda against this idea
but will listen if there are enough benefits.

Could you speak for/against it?

Thanks.

ted wrote:

I'm planning the day care situation for my kids. I admit that's all I
think of. So much that it's driving me crazy. The pg hormones are not
helping either!

By the time I have to go back to work after mat. leave, the new baby
will be about 3 months old and my DD will be about one and half. I was
weighing the options of having someone come over to my house to look
after them 8-5 while I work. The other choices are leaving them at an
at-home day care or finding a commercial day care.

At those ages I'd do a nanny if I could. Although, where is your
older child now?

I want to ask you about your experiences of a nanny coming home
everyday to watch your kids (not those that live in your house. I
don't want that arrangement.) Obviously there are some conveniences
like you don't have to get the kids ready in the morning, drive to and
from the day care etc.. But then you have the issue of having to leave
the entire house and contents at her disposal every day.

If I'm going to trust her with my children, I sure as heck will trust her
with my house. It is a big leap of faith. My husband works out of our
house so that he could be around to keep an eye on things when we
had our nanny, which made things tremendously easier. I totally understand

where you are coming from with leaving your kids with a stranger.


I have a friend who had horrible experience and another friend who
can't stop praising this arrangement. DH is kinda against this idea
but will listen if there are enough benefits.

Could you speak for/against it?

We loved our nanny and are so glad that our daughter had that one
on one care her first year (then nanny had to quit and we started
DD at my works daycare which is very good). I feel kind of bad
that our next baby wont get that (we can't afford a nanny plus
daycare, and DD is really established at her daycare, so we don't
want to pull her).

No matter where you leave your kids, its really hard. Best of luck
with your decision.

Mary

ted wrote:

I want to ask you about your experiences of a nanny coming home
everyday to watch your kids (not those that live in your house. I
don't want that arrangement.) Obviously there are some conveniences
like you don't have to get the kids ready in the morning, drive to and
from the day care etc..

We are having a wonderful experience with our
nanny. She's prompt, clean, and very good with
Pillbug. He really likes her and laughs with her
a lot. She takes him out for a walk every day, but
only in the local neighbourhood, not crossing the
big street. She keeps the house neat (no
housekeeping, but just straightening up) and
it's great coming home to a clean, happy baby.

We only had one problem with her, which was
when she gave Pillbug some wheat bread, which
is a no-no since we have allergies in the family.
So, after we straightened that out (no food for
Pillbug unless sanctioned by me), everything is
okay.

But then you have the issue of having to leave
the entire house and contents at her disposal every day.

We thought of it this way... We are trusting this woman
with OUR CHILD. If we cannot trust her to not steal, say,
my engagement ring, how can we trust her to take care of
my child, who is infinitely more valuable than my
engagement ring? Or DVD player, or whatever...

I have a friend who had horrible experience and another friend who
can't stop praising this arrangement. DH is kinda against this idea
but will listen if there are enough benefits.

I've never had to deal with outside daycare, so I
don't know the comparisons. I do know that it's
a huge time saver that I don't have to pack a bag
with milk and food and extra clothes every day,
nor do the dropoff/pickup thing.

Do make sure you have a lot of overlap time in
the beginning, so you know how she really works
and interacts with your child. We have 2 and a
half weeks of her working in my home before I
went back to work. Also, we had some surprise
popup visits, just to make sure. We do not believe
in the nannycam thing, as we believe she should
be treated with respect.

It's definitely a great plus for our quality of life.

-- Anita --
Pillbug is 11 months old

"ted" wrote in message
om...
I'm planning the day care situation for my kids. I admit that's all I
think of. So much that it's driving me crazy. The pg hormones are not
helping either!

By the time I have to go back to work after mat. leave, the new baby
will be about 3 months old and my DD will be about one and half. I was
weighing the options of having someone come over to my house to look
after them 8-5 while I work. The other choices are leaving them at an
at-home day care or finding a commercial day care.

I want to ask you about your experiences of a nanny coming home
everyday to watch your kids (not those that live in your house. I
don't want that arrangement.) Obviously there are some conveniences
like you don't have to get the kids ready in the morning, drive to and
from the day care etc.. But then you have the issue of having to leave
the entire house and contents at her disposal every day.

I have a friend who had horrible experience and another friend who
can't stop praising this arrangement. DH is kinda against this idea
but will listen if there are enough benefits.

Could you speak for/against it?

Thanks.

My son was watched by a woman in her home who also cared for a few other
kids. Just before he turned 3, I moved him to a very nice daycare that I had
been on the waiting list for.

After moving him, I realized that the sitter had not been teaching him give
& take with other kids. She was letting them 'duke it out' and said that the
kids had to learn to deal with each other - without her guidance or
interference obviously. My son had learned that if he wanted something,
hitting and grabbing was the way to go. Whoever was stronger/faster got it.
WRONG. I had no idea since he was an only child up until then and I never
saw him interacting with other kids.

Everything else seemed great, but her ideas on what needed discipline & what
didn't were so wrong and I could never guess this until he was removed from
her care. The *method* of discipline was fine, but...

The daycare we chose is so wonderful. They truly care about each child. They
are fed breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and it's all very healthy,
well-prepared food. They are never 'out sick', closed for vacation or
anything else that you run into with individual care givers.

My daughter was just a baby when she started at that daycare. They rocked
her & loved her like a single person might not have the time or patience to
do. She gets to interact with other kids her age, gets to do projects and is
exposed to all kinds of experiences that you don't get at home. She loves it
so much that she doesn't look back when I drop her off in the morning -
she's only 18 months and has her own 'life'.

I like the daycare setting. I know each caregiver has other workers watching
her actions all the time and the reliability can't be beat. You also
(depending on where you live) have the rules set by state regulations &
such.

That's been my experience I'm sure you'll hear lots of others, too!

Mary
Logan Alexander 3/28/00
Aubrey Lee 11/27/02

Irrational Number wrote:

We thought of it this way... We are trusting this woman
with OUR CHILD. If we cannot trust her to not steal, say,
my engagement ring, how can we trust her to take care of
my child, who is infinitely more valuable than my
engagement ring? Or DVD player, or whatever...

While I understand the sentiment and I would not want a thief watching my
baby I'm not sure it is always clear. I think some people may seem very
good with kids, and ethical, and still steal a ton of stuff. It is
certainly something you want to be aware of. Not very many people want a
baby and I would think taking a baby you nanny for would not be so wise.

There are thousands of people that would take my purse out of the shopping
cart and hardly any that would take my baby. Just to set the record
straight I never leave my baby in the shopping cart :-)

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (5) and Luke (3)

Nikki wrote:

Irrational Number wrote:

We thought of it this way... We are trusting this woman
with OUR CHILD. If we cannot trust her to not steal, say,
my engagement ring, how can we trust her to take care of
my child, who is infinitely more valuable than my
engagement ring? Or DVD player, or whatever...

While I understand the sentiment and I would not want a thief watching my
baby I'm not sure it is always clear. I think some people may seem very
good with kids, and ethical, and still steal a ton of stuff.

You're right; there are plenty of people who
would be good to a baby but think that it's
not a big deal to take stuff here and there from
a household... I have a friend who had this
problem with a live-in maid; they found her
clothes and stuff in the maid's room! However,
anytime you have anyone else take care of
your child, you're taking a risk. So, one can
only hope that one makes a good decision on
a person.

-- Anita --

I've had nannies for 12 years now, the first one live in, the next 3
live out. Here in Toronto, nannies are usually nanny/housekeepers, so
mine do a lot of the basic housework, laundry etc. as well as the
childcare aspect. We're about to give one up, since our kids are now
13, 10 and 6.

Everything hinges on the nanny you hire, and we've had superb ones.
You need to put out the word to all your friends, family, at the local
school etc. that you are looking. I've never advertised - I just put
out the feelers throught the local nanny network, and within a few
weeks, lots came out of the woodwork and I had more candidates than I
could manage.

Write out a job description outlining the hours of work, the general
job duties, the circumstances (size of your house, general location,
pets, how many kids and their ages), any health issues of the kids,
vacation, pay, and any special requirements (no smoking, you want them
to have a drivers license, first aid training, do you want them to
cook, whatever). I found this very helpful, since you can give it to
prospective candidates to consider if they would be interested, or
they can pass it on if they know anyone who might be interested (and
they often do).

The most crucial tip I can pass on to you - and I'm really serious
about this, since it works really, really well - ask for their
references and CALL them BEFORE you interview. When you call
references, ask a lot of questions, including performance,
reliability, how they were with kids, job duties, hours of work, how
much vacation they got, how sick days were handled, how much they were
paid, any problems or issues, and why they left that job.

This way, when the person shows up for the interview, you KNOW the
backstory. I found that nanny candidates would tell me anything I
wanted to hear, and would often fib about past jobs - but I'd be armed
with all the info about what the past job entailed, and why they left
(i.e. let go because they wanted too much money, or were constantly
late, lazy, unreliable, boyfriend hanging around etc.
Calling the references first can also save you some time, since no
point interviewing the one who got let go because the silverwear was
disappearing, or the police came to the door looking for them.

You CAN be fooled entirely at an interview, since behaviour at an
interview may not reflect what they will be like with the kids. The
very best nanny we ever had would never have been hired by me on the
basis of her interview. She was very shy (a recent immigrant from the
Phillipines) and I could barely get a word out of her or get her to
look at me - but her references RAVED about her, so I took the chance,
and they were right. She was just wonderful.

Nannies have been great for us. Kind of like having a "wife" (just
kidding, but you know what I mean - I come home at 5:30, the laundry
is done, the house is tidy, the kids dinner is ready - big stress
reliever for me when you have the right person you feel you can trust
(our current one has been with us 6 years and I trust her absolutely).

Mary G.

(ted) wrote in message . com...

I have a friend who had horrible experience and another friend who
can't stop praising this arrangement. DH is kinda against this idea
but will listen if there are enough benefits.

Could you speak for/against it?

Sure. I work out of my home, and when Kivi was a tiny baby, I just
worked with her on my lap. But when she was 4 months old, I hired a
neighbor kid to come in and watch her for two hours a day, one day a
week. My husband worked weekends, so he watched her Tuesday -
Thursday. Over the summer, I had the same kid come both Mondays and
Fridays for 3 hours each day. But when she went back to school in the
fall, when Kivi was 9 months old, I hired a nanny for two full days
per week. It was great. I was still able to nurse Kivi, and put her
down for her nap, and when Kivi was asleep she did some light
housekeeping. She worked for us for 5 months, and I was sorry to see
her go (she went back to work full time). The next person I hired was
actually a professional house cleaner, and boy did she clean my house!
But she had small children, and she had to pay a babysitter, and two
full days working for me, didn't amount to much after she paid her
babysitter. Not only that, due to illness in her kids, she wasn't
able to come nearly as often as she did come. Her employment only
lasted 2 months (she quit). After that, we knew that there was a
daycare opening at DH's work, and we like it's philosophy, so I kept
her alone again until the daycare opened. Like another poster said,
no one is out sick, they have flexible hours and they are very loving.
It's not perfect, but it's quite good, and Kivi loves it. Chris is no
longer working weekends, so Kivi is full-time now, but we are hoping
to change things around so she's home more. We'll see.

All in all, Nannies are great, if you can find the right one. By the
way, for one child, a nanny is very expensive, but their salary
doesn't increase all that much for multiple children. So if you have
two or three kids, a nanny is more economical than daycare.

Cathy Weeks
Mommy to Kivi Alexis 12/01

(ted) wrote

Could you speak for/against it?


I think the main positive is that the children are so young that
individual (or semi-individual) care is probably a good thing. If you
can find someone loving and reliable, it might work out as the best
option.

My concerns would be:

(1) Punctuality and reliability -- Someone I know changed to a daycare
after having to miss meetings or even work when the nanny didn't show
on time or at all. It may not even be her fault: her car could break
down, or she could be sick. You're still stuck. Daycares usually have
some kind of back-up.
(2) Affectionate and caring -- if she is the main influence on the
child aside from me, I'd want her to be more than just professional
with the kids. It would concern me that the children are so young that
they couldn't tell me what was happening during the day.
(3) Honesty -- I agree with other people on this thread; someone who
is wonderful with your kids might still steal your jewelry. I've had
this happen.

Rupa