Wife wants to work

dragonlady ) writes:
A nine year old who needs his mommie to clean up after him, and has a
father who thinks he can't take care of himself? No wonder the woman
wants an outside job!

Maybe if Jamie cleaned up after himself more, it would set
a better example for the child. Maybe the child is getting
an implicit message: male family members can get away with
having everything done for them. ... and then the whole thing
repeats in the next generation ...
--
Cathy

Barbara Bomberger ) writes:
Barb said,
Many people who don't have to work "choose" to work. In your case,
I'd say your wife was probably looking for the respect she isnt
getting at home?

Barb, I think you've probably hit the nail on the head.
Respect. And freedom: the freedom to choose to work
or not to work without some other adult saying "no, you
can't do that." These are things money can't buy.
--
Cathy

"Circe" ) writes:
Also, while I appreciate the *desire* for decompress time, I frankly have to
say that I don't think it is a *need*.

I agree with this very much.

Ever since I was in high school, I've really liked to spend some time
alone after school or work, just reading and having a snack for about
half an hour. But as a working mother with a stay-at-home husband,
for years I didn't do that. I started paying attention to my children
as soon as I came home. Sometimes I ate a sandwich on the way home
and then as soon as I got home I took my son out to the playground
to give my husband a break -- without even going into the house, though
I would have liked a half-hour break first.

Now the kids are older and things are easier. Our youngest is 11.
Sometimes my husband cooks me dinner and sometimes he doesn't.
Sometimes I come home from work and start cooking dinner for
myself, and my children will ask me to make them something.
If they just want me to double what I'm making for myself and
that's easy to do, usually I'll do it, but if they want me to
make something else for them I say "Look. I just got home from
work. Maybe you people who have already been home for a while
should be making dinner for me, not the other way around." and
I leave them to get dinner some other way (asking my husband to
make it perhaps).

I'm rambling on, but the point here is that just because I'm
working and supporting the family doesn't mean I insisted on
decompress time when the kids were younger. And it doesn't mean
I'm not very involved in parenting in general.
--
Cathy

it certainly seems that your life is and has been somewhat dysfunctional.
it is indeed unfortunate that some believe as you clearly do that you are
better than most because you work. how sad for your children who clearly
needed a mother while they were growing up instead of someone who as you
admit were too tired to play with them or make a meal. it is truly sad.

"Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message
...
"Circe" ) writes:
Also, while I appreciate the *desire* for decompress time, I frankly
have to
say that I don't think it is a *need*.

I agree with this very much.

Ever since I was in high school, I've really liked to spend some time
alone after school or work, just reading and having a snack for about
half an hour. But as a working mother with a stay-at-home husband,
for years I didn't do that. I started paying attention to my children
as soon as I came home. Sometimes I ate a sandwich on the way home
and then as soon as I got home I took my son out to the playground
to give my husband a break -- without even going into the house, though
I would have liked a half-hour break first.

Now the kids are older and things are easier. Our youngest is 11.
Sometimes my husband cooks me dinner and sometimes he doesn't.
Sometimes I come home from work and start cooking dinner for
myself, and my children will ask me to make them something.
If they just want me to double what I'm making for myself and
that's easy to do, usually I'll do it, but if they want me to
make something else for them I say "Look. I just got home from
work. Maybe you people who have already been home for a while
should be making dinner for me, not the other way around." and
I leave them to get dinner some other way (asking my husband to
make it perhaps).

I'm rambling on, but the point here is that just because I'm
working and supporting the family doesn't mean I insisted on
decompress time when the kids were younger. And it doesn't mean
I'm not very involved in parenting in general.
--
Cathy

On Sat, 24 Apr 2004 02:45:24 GMT, "Johnny Walker" wrote:

it certainly seems that your life is and has been somewhat dysfunctional.
it is indeed unfortunate that some believe as you clearly do that you are
better than most because you work. how sad for your children who clearly
needed a mother while they were growing up instead of someone who as you
admit were too tired to play with them or make a meal. it is truly sad.

She probably has the audacity to go out in public without wearing a
burka too.

Huh? Didn't you notice that her husband was the stay-at-home parent?

Ideally, kids would enjoy two SAH parents; but that's a luxury few of
us have ever been able to afford.

Rupa

"Johnny Walker" wrote

it certainly seems that your life is and has been somewhat dysfunctional.
it is indeed unfortunate that some believe as you clearly do that you are
better than most because you work. how sad for your children who clearly
needed a mother while they were growing up instead of someone who as you
admit were too tired to play with them or make a meal. it is truly sad.

"Catherine Woodgold" wrote

Ever since I was in high school, I've really liked to spend some time
alone after school or work, just reading and having a snack for about
half an hour. But as a working mother with a stay-at-home husband,
for years I didn't do that. I started paying attention to my children
as soon as I came home. Sometimes I ate a sandwich on the way home
and then as soon as I got home I took my son out to the playground
to give my husband a break -- without even going into the house, though
I would have liked a half-hour break first.

Jamie wrote:

: I also don't see the point in paying some housekeeper money, when my wife
: doesn't need to work. Once we have paid the housekeeper, I doubt very much
: there would be any of my wife's wages left. I don't see the point. She has
: everything she needs and I try to give her everything she wants. Why is she
: doing this?

: My life will be harder, her life will be harder and our son will be left
: with a childminder instead of being home with Mum. I don't think she is
: being fair to either of us.

Wow!! such disregard for your wife's needs, such unwillingness to help
out around the house that you would rather disregard her needs.
And then you post on a newsgroup full of people who more likely share
your wife's opinion. I smell troll...

--
Patricia Pichardo
Georgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332
Email: