strict/rough relative - LONG

The heck of it is, if my dad's family is any indication, this woman
honestly doesn't KNOW that she's bullying the kids -- she thinks this is
appropriate behavior!

That is exactly what I think. She seemed totally suprised when I reacted
like I did, shocked almost.

With someone like that, all you can do is either
keep the kids away from them completely (not always practical) or just
stay within arms reach and make sure your kids know you will protect
them.

And that is what we plan on doing. I can't keep her from the kids but I
won't let them go over to their home unsupervised, etc.

I don't think you overreacted, especially the way she was holding
Xander. OMG. I would **freak** **out** if I saw anyone holding Jaden
that way. That woman is a menace and I would never, ever leave my kids
alone with her if I were you. I don't know how to smooth things over
but since it is your IL's I think it would be best for your DH to handle
communications at this point, as long as he is clearly on your side as
to what is acceptable treatment of your kids. Good luck. I'm sorry you
have to deal with this.
--


Thanks Cheryl, it's good to know that everyone is agreeing with me on this!!

Kari

Did I overreact because I dont feel like I did.

I wish I had a solution for you, but NO, you did not overreact. Her behavior
was WAY out of line, and I cannot imagine anyone taking her side in this. I'm
sorry it's caused a rift.

wrote:

Yes, tossing a baby who doesn't have head control can be a problem, and
I imagine it would be possible to hurt a child by throwing too
violently, but the sorts of "baby toss" I've seen most of the time
doesn't strike me as dangerous.

Oh, very likely you're right. I was just surprised no one had brought it up.

I checked further and found the American Academy of Pediatrics debunks this
claim: "Shaken baby syndrome awareness programs that erroneously state that
shaken baby syndrome may be caused by bouncing a child on a knee, by tossing
him in the air, or even by rough play are to be discouraged, because they are
inaccurate and may cause parents who have not abused their child to feel
guilty."
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org...cs%3b108/1/206

PEDIATRICS Vol. 108 No. 1 July 2001, pp. 206-210

AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS:
Shaken Baby Syndrome: Rotational Cranial InjuriesTechnical Report
Committee on Child Abuse and Neglect

--Helen

On Thu, 20 May 2004 05:18:27 GMT, "toypup"
wrote:


"H Schinske" wrote in message
...
Dorothy ) wrote:

Unless the baby doesn't like it, this is actually good for them. It's
not only fun, but it promotes spatial awareness and body control.
Most babies seem to love it.

What?? I thought tossing babies in the air was now frowned upon due to
shaken
baby syndrome.

That's what I've heard. I wonder if there have been actual cases of it from
playful tossing, though.

I would think this would depend on the age of the baby and the way
they were being tossed. This is not shaking, but a gentle and fun
way of roughhousing. If it's frowned upon by the *experts* I don't
think they are correct.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

On 20 May 2004 06:23:56 GMT, (H Schinske) wrote:

http://www.chsd.org/1405.cfm (the children's hospital in San Diego) says the
same. "Do not throw a child in the air for fun, or let anyone else do it. The
child may laugh and seem to enjoy it, but it is a very dangerous game."

Like anything else, this kind of thing can be overdone and if we are
speaking of a child who is too young to control his or her head, I
would certainly agree, but babies past that age (if they are giggling
and smiling) don't seem to have problems later in life that I know of.
At least I never knew anyone who had lasting health problems from
this activity. Unless someone drops them (which *is* possible), I
don't know what problems these people are seeing from it.

I would love to see the studies that show what these problems are.

Once again, we seem to want to wrap our children in bubble wrap
and not allow them to take *any* risks at all.


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits

DH and I both agree that you did NOT overreact!

I wouldn't give a toss about her feelings. I would be more concerned about
your children, particularly Noah. Have you talked to him about these
incidents? He needs to know that you will protect him from her!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"Life is like a cigarette -- smoke it to the butt." -- Harvie Krumpet