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#11
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playdates for 4yo
"toypup" wrote in message . .. So, is the common age for playdates with stranger's kid (met only in passing, but kids know each other) here 5 yo? That's not very far away. I'm not sure how comfy I'd be, but I'm sure that could change when I get there. Yes, around here it's after they start kindergarten. When my kids were in kindergarten I always asked if the parent would rather bring the kid over (to check out the place first), but I don't think anyone ever took me up on it. Their child would ride the bus home with my child, and the first time the parents would meet me or see the house would be when they came to pick up after the playdate. DS has been wanting to call this friend. It's fine with me, if it's okay with them. What do you all think of 4 yo's calling each other? It's another one of those things where it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I like testing the waters of public opinion first. Issues that I don't think about sometimes pop up that way. Unless you are sure that your 4 year old will speak loudly and clearly enough to be understood, I'd make the call for him and hand it off to him when his friend is on the phone. Alternatively, you can have him do the talking with you there to prompt if necessary. And practice ahead of time. Bizby |
#12
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playdates for 4yo
"dragonlady" wrote in message ... I'm not sure there IS a "common age", as in one that is generally agreed upon. I have known parents of children in 3rd or 4th grade who would not allow their children at anyone else's house unless they were with them. Ack! Do these kids have many friends? I can't imagine too many parents putting up with this at that age. I know I wouldn't!!! Bizby |
#13
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playdates for 4yo
"P. Tierney" wrote in message news:x%D2f.474014$xm3.313769@attbi_s21... "Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message ... "bizby40" ) writes: I wouldn't have left my child with a family I didn't know at that age. Kindergarten seems to make a world of difference. That said, you can ask and the worst that can happen is that they'll say no. That is not the worst that can happen. The worst that can happen is that the dad comes over and gives toypup unwanted attention. the sound of my head exploding P. Tierney lol -- yeah, every once in a while I get amazed at how some of the women on this group are so afraid of men. This is a married dad of a pre-schooler -- the chances of him trying to make time with some mom on their kids' first playdate has got be incredibly slim. FWIW, I've never felt that way. I've had plenty of dad's drop off and pick up. I've left my girl child at a SAH dad's place, and though I've never spent the entire playdate at his house, we do usually chat at the beginning or end of the playdate, and the chat can go a half-hour sometimes. Bizby |
#14
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playdates for 4yo
bizby40 wrote:
"P. Tierney" wrote in message news:x%D2f.474014$xm3.313769@attbi_s21... "Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message ... "bizby40" ) writes: I wouldn't have left my child with a family I didn't know at that age. Kindergarten seems to make a world of difference. That said, you can ask and the worst that can happen is that they'll say no. That is not the worst that can happen. The worst that can happen is that the dad comes over and gives toypup unwanted attention. the sound of my head exploding P. Tierney lol -- yeah, every once in a while I get amazed at how some of the women on this group are so afraid of men. This is a married dad of a pre-schooler -- the chances of him trying to make time with some mom on their kids' first playdate has got be incredibly slim. It's only an issue of propriety for me and has nothing to do with fear. FWIW, I've never felt that way. I've had plenty of dad's drop off and pick up. I've left my girl child at a SAH dad's place, and though I've never spent the entire playdate at his house, we do usually chat at the beginning or end of the playdate, and the chat can go a half-hour sometimes. That's the norm for me, as well. Tai |
#15
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playdates for 4yo
"Caledonia" wrote in
ups.com: toypup wrote: I wonder if most parents of 4 yo these days drop off their kids on playdates when they don't really know the other family? When DD1 was 4 yo, the answer was no -- pretty much all parents (or a parent) accompanied the child. (Some even had a quiz sheet -- any firearms? dogs crated? etc.) When I look at it from a 4 yo's perspective, it seems reasonable to expect that the playdate child might feel weirded out visiting another house alone also. i know Boo wouldn't be comfortable visiting a friend unaccompanied (he's 5). i'd have to say i'd seriously reconsider inviting any kid whose parents asked me if i had firearms (yes, i do. the gun is in one place, the magazine is in another & the ammo is in a third, all out of kid reach) & kept the dog crated (no!). that's just too weird for me. lee |
#16
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playdates for 4yo
"bizby40" wrote in message ... "P. Tierney" wrote in message news:x%D2f.474014$xm3.313769@attbi_s21... "Catherine Woodgold" wrote in message ... "bizby40" ) writes: I wouldn't have left my child with a family I didn't know at that age. Kindergarten seems to make a world of difference. That said, you can ask and the worst that can happen is that they'll say no. That is not the worst that can happen. The worst that can happen is that the dad comes over and gives toypup unwanted attention. the sound of my head exploding P. Tierney lol -- yeah, every once in a while I get amazed at how some of the women on this group are so afraid of men. This is a married dad of a pre-schooler -- the chances of him trying to make time with some mom on their kids' first playdate has got be incredibly slim. Yeah, I doubt this dad would make any moves. He seems like an incredibly good dad from a distance. I'm just uncomfortable having a man I don't know over who I have to make smalltalk with for however long the playdate is. That's not a situation I've ever been in. It would be easier if my DH and his wife were there. I've practiced those situations before. |
#17
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playdates for 4yo
enigma wrote:
"Caledonia" wrote in ups.com: toypup wrote: I wonder if most parents of 4 yo these days drop off their kids on playdates when they don't really know the other family? When DD1 was 4 yo, the answer was no -- pretty much all parents (or a parent) accompanied the child. (Some even had a quiz sheet -- any firearms? dogs crated? etc.) When I look at it from a 4 yo's perspective, it seems reasonable to expect that the playdate child might feel weirded out visiting another house alone also. i know Boo wouldn't be comfortable visiting a friend unaccompanied (he's 5). i'd have to say i'd seriously reconsider inviting any kid whose parents asked me if i had firearms (yes, i do. the gun is in one place, the magazine is in another & the ammo is in a third, all out of kid reach) & kept the dog crated (no!). that's just too weird for me. lee Unless it was a farming community most people wouldn't even think about whether there were firearms in the house - not many people would have them here in Australia. Also, I don't understand the term "dog crated", what is that? You surely don't mean it's to put the family dog in it's travelling box while there are visiting children in the home? Tai |
#18
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playdates for 4yo
toypup wrote:
Yeah, I doubt this dad would make any moves. He seems like an incredibly good dad from a distance. I'm just uncomfortable having a man I don't know over who I have to make smalltalk with for however long the playdate is. That's not a situation I've ever been in. However, given that it's not a situation you're experienced with, is it possible that it might be no more difficult to make small talk with him than it would be with his wife? I've just never found it to be a problem, except for a few communication-challenged individuals (though those happen in either sex ;-) Best wishes, Ericka |
#19
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playdates for 4yo
enigma wrote:
i'd have to say i'd seriously reconsider inviting any kid whose parents asked me if i had firearms (yes, i do. the gun is in one place, the magazine is in another & the ammo is in a third, all out of kid reach) Why? Many organizations recommend asking, and I know several people who ask not because they'd call off the playdate if there were firearms, but only so that they could follow up with verifying that they were stored appropriately out of kids' reach. That seems only responsible to me, especially in an area where many people are gun owners (and the odds that you just might hit an irresponsible one are thus higher). Our babysitting co-op requires disclosure, but again, only so that the chair can verify that appropriate precautions are taken to keep children safe. People also ask if pools are fenced, if a parent will be home, if there are pets (if the child is allergic or unusually afraid), and all sorts of other things. I don't see why any of these would be offensive, unless the parent thought that the usually accepted safety precautions weren't sufficient or started ranting about your choices or lecturing you or something. Best wishes, Ericka |
#20
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playdates for 4yo
Tai wrote:
Also, I don't understand the term "dog crated", what is that? You surely don't mean it's to put the family dog in it's travelling box while there are visiting children in the home? Yep, although people who crate their dogs in their home typically have larger crates than the usual travel carriers. In my experience, some dog lovers are fans of crating and others aren't. It's not cruel, per se. And yes, some people do crate their dogs (particularly dogs who aren't yet well trained or who tend to get stressed around unfamiliar people) when company is around or when people are tromping in and out of the house and creating a chance the dog might escape and get hurt. Like anything, crating can be abused, but it can also be a reasonable thing to do with some dogs in some situations. Best wishes, Ericka |
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