Age and conception

Hi

Having read Leslie's thread it got me thinking about age and conception
problems. I am 34, dp is 40, and we have one ds, 18mths. Dp is, I
think, slowly coming round to the idea of a #2 but I think it might be
a good year at least before he would be willing to ttc. I conceived my
first pregnancy in the first month and ds the third after my mc, so in
general there are no fertility problems. However, I do know that a
woman's fertility starts to suffer after the age of 30. I just wonderd
what the difference would be between say 34 and 36 for concieving? I'm
not quite ready to ttc but I want to weigh up the pros and cons of
waiting for say 6 months or 1 year or more?

Cheers

Jeni

Having read Leslie's thread it got me thinking about age and conception
problems. I am 34, dp is 40, and we have one ds, 18mths. Dp is, I
think, slowly coming round to the idea of a #2 but I think it might be
a good year at least before he would be willing to ttc. I conceived my
first pregnancy in the first month and ds the third after my mc, so in
general there are no fertility problems. However, I do know that a
woman's fertility starts to suffer after the age of 30. I just wonderd
what the difference would be between say 34 and 36 for concieving? I'm
not quite ready to ttc but I want to weigh up the pros and cons of
waiting for say 6 months or 1 year or more?

fertility is supposed to be slowly decreasing almost from teenage years, it
then gets a bit faster around 35. I'm pretty sure that as you've had one,
that the optimum gap between babies is more important, you're unlikely to
have a significant decrease in fertility and as you've had two that put's
you in a subtly different to someone who has one, however it ends and then
cannot conceive, or cannot get beyond the early stages. The bottom boundary
for optimum distance is 18mths, so you're there, I can't remember whether
the top is 3yrs or 5yrs or something else, but it's not a very narrow time
window, so by waiting now, you're going to hit that window unless something
strange happens. You must have noticed, that where you are, the average age
of giving birth is relatively high, as a relatively young first time mother,
particularly with my educational background, when in the hospital after the
birth, it seemed like the other people had more in common with my mum than
me (she was 46 at the time, everyone else on my little bit of the ward at
one point was over 35). So a thousand or more women each year are having
babies at 36 or more with few issues, I had a friend recently have a vbac at
almost 41 (first was breech). If you're not ready, that's plenty of reason
to wait and you've probably got at least 2yrs, if not more before you should
worry about waiting any longer.

Anne

wrote:
Hi

Having read Leslie's thread it got me thinking about age and conception
problems. I am 34, dp is 40, and we have one ds, 18mths. Dp is, I
think, slowly coming round to the idea of a #2 but I think it might be
a good year at least before he would be willing to ttc. I conceived my
first pregnancy in the first month and ds the third after my mc, so in
general there are no fertility problems. However, I do know that a
woman's fertility starts to suffer after the age of 30. I just wonderd
what the difference would be between say 34 and 36 for concieving? I'm
not quite ready to ttc but I want to weigh up the pros and cons of
waiting for say 6 months or 1 year or more?


This is a case where statistics mean little when it comes to the
individual person. Yes, fertility declines more rapidly once you hit
35. OTOH, having had no fertility issues you're less likely to have any
in the future. That said, secondary infertility is not uncommon, nor is
having kids easily over 35.

So basically, you have to start trying when it feels right to you, and
accept the consequences. I wouldn't try sooner just out of fear of
infertility if you're not ready. OTOH, if you wait because you're not
yet ready, are you willing to accept the possibility of fertility
decline?

Basically, there's no guarantee either way, but if you're not ready,
IMO, that is a strong reason to wait.

FWIW - I'm now 37, conceived initially at age 35, m/c'd, then again
just before I turned 36. No huge problems but I did have to time it
well (it took a few months the first time). Since we *know* we want
more kids, we're going to move on that as fast as possible because age
is a factor. But we're already sure we want more and want them now. It
probably doesn't matter much, but I come from a long line of women on
both sides who gave birth in their late 30s/early 40s.

I honestly don't know. I know I'm 30 and am having some element of not
knowing what to expect with TTC-ing. It seems like the people around me
either had their complete family of 2-3 babies and considered themselves
finished trying very young, or are a good bit older and having their first.
It's just been very common for my peers/friends also age 30 to have 2 or 3
kids already and not planning to TTC anymore, and even people I went to
school with who are 2-3 years younger have finished their families by now. A
surprising number of people my age who also have college degrees and careers
also have kids who are already almost teenagers!!

So, on the other hand, while I am 30 and have one kid and would like 2 more
and am starting to feel more pressed about it, I know SO very many women and
see so very many out there who are having kids into their 40s. I guess it's
just a personal thing. I know someone who had grownup (adult) sons and
daughters and had a VERY big surprise unplanned pregnancy at 43, and I know
people who have been trying unsuccesfully to conceive since age 25 or
earlier.

I guess you can't know what to expect. I have seen tons of women who are
much older than myself having babies, but I tend to be more cautious and not
want to take it for granted that it will be easy for me since I also know so
many of all ages who have had to start fertility treatments in their 20s to
get pregnant- some were succesful rather soon, and some were well into their
30s when they finally had their baby, after trying for more than 5 years.
so.........I dunno.

wrote:
Hi

Having read Leslie's thread it got me thinking about age and conception
problems. I am 34, dp is 40, and we have one ds, 18mths. Dp is, I
think, slowly coming round to the idea of a #2 but I think it might be
a good year at least before he would be willing to ttc. I conceived my
first pregnancy in the first month and ds the third after my mc, so in
general there are no fertility problems. However, I do know that a
woman's fertility starts to suffer after the age of 30. I just wonderd
what the difference would be between say 34 and 36 for concieving? I'm
not quite ready to ttc but I want to weigh up the pros and cons of
waiting for say 6 months or 1 year or more?

IANAD but just anecdotally it seems to me that people with good
fertility keep right on having good fertility! I mean, maybe it's
diminished but it doesn't seem to be diminished enough to keep them
from getting pregnant. I'm thinking of the many women I know with 8 -
14 kids, all of whom kept right on having them into their 40s. The
most recent example I know is a woman who had #9 about 7 years after
#8, and she was 46 and not even trying. As for me, I've gotten
pregnant almost every time there was a chance that it was possible (not
on purpose, usually). I was 36 when Lorelei was conceived. If I were
you, I'd wait till I (and my husband) felt ready.

Leslie

"Leslie" wrote in message
ups.com...
IANAD but just anecdotally it seems to me that people with good
fertility keep right on having good fertility! I mean, maybe it's
diminished but it doesn't seem to be diminished enough to keep them
from getting pregnant. I'm thinking of the many women I know with 8 -
14 kids, all of whom kept right on having them into their 40s. The
most recent example I know is a woman who had #9 about 7 years after
#8, and she was 46 and not even trying. As for me, I've gotten
pregnant almost every time there was a chance that it was possible (not
on purpose, usually). I was 36 when Lorelei was conceived. If I were
you, I'd wait till I (and my husband) felt ready.

I feel the same way. I got pregnant on first try with #1 at 31, 3rd try
with #2 at 33, and, conceived #3 at 40 despite having taken all precautions!
All after having such irregular periods (80 day cycles at times) that my doc
suggested that I would have to use Chlomid from the get go. Did them all
naturally.

Susan M

Jen, I don't think you can use statistics to help you in an individual
case. Certainly, if you had had a history of fertility issues, sooner
would be better than later. However, if you are healthy, and had no
problems getting pregnant last time, I wouldn't assume a delay of a
year would make much difference.

You should be aware though, that getting pregnant first month you tried
is a lucky shot, even for two totally healthy people with perfect
fertility trying at the right time. Any particular cycle, your odds of
pregnancy are something like 14%, so it can take several months to get
pregnant with everything working just fine.

I had my first at 34, my second at 37, my 3rd at 41. Got pregnant first
try with the first two, and third one took a while - and I'm not sure
that had much to do with my age - I think the first two were just
faster than average just due to luck (believe me, both times we were
kinda amazed it happened so fast).

M

wrote:
Jen, I don't think you can use statistics to help you in an individual
case. Certainly, if you had had a history of fertility issues, sooner
would be better than later. However, if you are healthy, and had no
problems getting pregnant last time, I wouldn't assume a delay of a
year would make much difference.

You should be aware though, that getting pregnant first month you tried
is a lucky shot, even for two totally healthy people with perfect
fertility trying at the right time. Any particular cycle, your odds of
pregnancy are something like 14%, so it can take several months to get
pregnant with everything working just fine.

I had my first at 34, my second at 37, my 3rd at 41. Got pregnant first
try with the first two, and third one took a while - and I'm not sure
that had much to do with my age - I think the first two were just
faster than average just due to luck (believe me, both times we were
kinda amazed it happened so fast).

Thanks, and thanks everyone else. I guess it will be a case of wait and
see. Dp hasn't deffo said yes yet, so making no plans. We were shocked
as anything at the first two happening so quick, especially as I
assured dp that it might take up to a year given our age and he was a
smoker at the time. To his day I think he somehow thinks I conned
him. If I got pg with the Mirena I think he'd have a heart attack.

Cheers

Jen

wrote in message

However, I do know that a
woman's fertility starts to suffer after the age of 30. I just wonderd
what the difference would be between say 34 and 36 for concieving? I'm
not quite ready to ttc but I want to weigh up the pros and cons of
waiting for say 6 months or 1 year or more?

While fertility does decline I wouldn't worry about the 6-12mo wait
personally. You aren't *that* old

Anecdotally I got pg first try all three times. I was 29, 32, 36yo.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06

"Nikki" wrote in message
news:ktSdnYSKkIOGry3YnZ2dnUVZ_sSmnZ2d@prairiewave. com...

wrote in message

However, I do know that a
woman's fertility starts to suffer after the age of 30. I just wonderd
what the difference would be between say 34 and 36 for concieving? I'm
not quite ready to ttc but I want to weigh up the pros and cons of
waiting for say 6 months or 1 year or more?

While fertility does decline I wouldn't worry about the 6-12mo wait
personally. You aren't *that* old

Anecdotally I got pg first try all three times. I was 29, 32, 36yo.


--
Nikki, mama to
Hunter 4/99
Luke 4/01
Brock 4/06
Ben 4/06


Anecdotally, I got pg first try at 42. Unfortunately that one miscarried
(possibly due to xray before I knew I was pg), and it took another 9 months
to get pg again. But then we weren't really TRYING, as in worrying about
timing and things, I just wasn't taking the pill.

Liz