Preparing sibling for birth process?

"Banty" wrote in message
...
Depends. China for some time required *older* parent or parents over 35,
and
strongly preferred those with an intent to create a single-child
household.
Other countries aren't necessarily even looking at this in terms of the
USian
culture wars - a lot of this is all about our hangups in our piece of the
world.
They have a whole orthogonal set of considerations to ours sometimes.

China bans single parent adoption.

In article , toypup says...



"Banty" wrote in message
...
Depends. China for some time required *older* parent or parents over 35,
and
strongly preferred those with an intent to create a single-child
household.
Other countries aren't necessarily even looking at this in terms of the
USian
culture wars - a lot of this is all about our hangups in our piece of the
world.
They have a whole orthogonal set of considerations to ours sometimes.

China bans single parent adoption.


Now they do. They didn't before (read my paragraph again).

Banty

"Banty" wrote in message
...
In article , toypup says...



"Banty" wrote in message
...
Depends. China for some time required *older* parent or parents over
35,
and
strongly preferred those with an intent to create a single-child
household.
Other countries aren't necessarily even looking at this in terms of the
USian
culture wars - a lot of this is all about our hangups in our piece of
the
world.
They have a whole orthogonal set of considerations to ours sometimes.

China bans single parent adoption.


Now they do. They didn't before (read my paragraph again).

Yes, and I said single parent adoptions and gay parent adoptions are *often*
banned in other countries. *Often* banned doesn't mean banned everywhere.
You cite China where single parent adoptions used to be legal. It is no
longer legal.

If you think hangups WRT special needs kids and gays is strictly USian
culture wars and other countries don't have such hangups, you are very
wrong. Not only are we not alone, it's much milder here than it can be
elsewhere (where they might just be put to death).

BTW, I am all for more adoptions of special needs kids and I think gays and
lesbians and singles should be allowed to adopt; although under identical
circumstances, I think it's preferable that the child go to a two-parent
family.

On Apr 23, 6:10 am, Beliavsky wrote:
On Apr 23, 7:28 am, Chookie wrote:



In article
,

" wrote:

From the societal point of view, male sperm donors should not be able
revoke their responsibility to financially support the children they
father.

Why not? Every time a woman aborts, adopts out or legally abandoned
her child, she just revoked her responsibility to financially support
the children she produced. A post-coital choice to men should be
extended as well. So when a man learns that a pregnancy occurred, he
should be able to waive all responsibility as well. That way, women
must procure the commitment from a man FIRST prior to giving birth if
she has any expectation of receiving resources to help her (just like
how we men must procure the commitment from a woman first before we
can be parents). Currently women have abortion, adoption and legally
abandonment laws to opt out once a pregnancy occurs. Men have none.

If the mother dies, for example, the father, not the taxpayer,
ought to be first means of support, and he ought to be given the
chance to adopt the child.

Only if he wants to be a father and to be financially responsible for
the child. Like I stated before, maybe he didn't want to be a parent
in the beginning. Why should he be forced to be one now?

Regards...

On Apr 25, 3:50�pm, " wrote:
On Apr 23, 6:10 am, Beliavsky wrote:

On Apr 23, 7:28 am, Chookie wrote:

In article
,

" wrote:

From the societal point of view, male sperm donors should not be able
revoke their responsibility to financially support the children they
father.


Please snip properly. The above is by Beliavsky, not me.

--Helen

On Apr 25, 4:09 pm, "
wrote:

Please snip properly. The above is by Beliavsky, not me.

--Helen

Better?

Regards...

On Apr 23, 9:14 am, NL wrote:
Chookie schrieb:

In article
,
" wrote:

I can't think of a reason why choosing *responsibly* to be a single
mother would be a problem either (not that I think that's what you
meant). I know one woman who adopted a child as a single woman, one
who has twice had babies by artificial insemination, etc. And that's
just in real life -- on the internet I know far more examples.

Actually, I think it's extremely foolish to choose single motherhood.

snip

Well, I think it depend on what you compare it with. My choice was to
stay in an abusive relationship, risk my and my child health and
wellbeing or leave, and I would always, _always_ leave an abusive
relationship behind.

Yet, you were with this guy and decided to have a child with him. That
makes sense.

Being a single parent is not that hard. Sure, we have though times, but
I don't have the relationship problems on top of the child rearing
difficulties. I don't have to clean up after two adults and a kid. I
don't have to accommodate anyone but me and my children. I'm not saying
that's better or worse, it's just easier to decide, for me, what to
teach my children, how to punish and reward them because I don't have to
accommodate someone else's views. I know I'm doing it on my own so I
don't get to the point at which I need to debate whether to make the
other parent get involved in the upbringing of my children or whether to
leave him out of it. I don't have anyone I can guilt trip, and there's
noone telling me how to raise my children.

cu
nicole

Yes, but statistically, your child is at a lost as compared to a child
raised in a two parent environment.

Regards...

On Apr 23, 10:04 am, NL wrote:

Yep. My best (female) friend complains about her husband a lot.

Your best friend is an idiot. You should never complain or talk
negatively about your spouse to anyone. It only makes you look bad.

He's
working longer and longer hours,

I'm sure he's not doing it for himself. He's doing it so that his wife
and family can live a comfortable life.

he's not really participating in the
family,

Maybe he has no time?

he does a lot of stupid stuff (like putting ink stampings on his
freshly bathed kids...

Ask the girls if the love that their father gave them was "stupid"

didn't go down well as the next day was a big
family gathering and the girls were _covered_ in AIRMAIL stampings...),

That's no one's business except his and his wife's.

he hardly ever helps out with household chores,...

So what! He works long hours and he is expected to do household
chores?? If you loved your spouse, and he/she was the main bread
winner, then you wouldn't let them do anything around the house. By
keeping the house clean, having home cooked meals and making sure your
spouse can unwind in a relaxed environment, you are showing love and
respect to them.

That's when I think
"thank god I don't have to deal with that",

Your sad outlook on life probably made you into a single mom. Based on
your replies, I wouldn't want to be married to you either.

but you know, there's great
things, too, for them, like going away on holiday, or the house they
bought,...

You mean living as a family and working together to give the means and
happiness to their children? Wow interesting concept there!

What I do think of as harder is negotiations with teachers/offices/etc.
when they see me as a single mum of two you can see them mentally
putting me into the "totally overwhelmed, unable to deal" drawer. So my
son acting out at school is because I'm the worst parent on the planet

Probably a true assessment. You know what they say about kids who do
not have fathers in their lives.

and not because of his sensory/speech problems or because his class is
too large (28 kids, 18 of which are boys, please imaging the noise level
and now think about how that's working for a kid who's unable to filter
out background noise).

You have excuses for everything.

When I turn up with my best (male) friend
they
talk to me differently, and I can get my points across differently than
I can when I go alone. But I'm not sure if that's because a) he's male
and the teachers are women (one main teacher one who's nearly a
teacher*) b) because he's a potential witness to unfairness or c)
because then it's 2 "vs." 2.

That poor guy has to deal with you and your issues? You must be good
looking or he must be desperate. Maybe you get better results because
they are talking to a logical calm person instead of an emotional
wacko who puts the blame of her son's behavior on everything else,
except for herself.

cu
nicole


Regards...

On Apr 21, 10:10 am, "Jamie Clark" wrote:
"NL" wrote in message

...

Banty schrieb:

Agsf is not a troll. A troll isn't just anybody a lot of people disagree
with. He's out in left (um, right) field on his ideas, and way out of the
ballpark on
some of his facts. But that a troll doesn't make. He *has* had good
ideas to
contribute, (he's a person, and a caring father, not a hairy beast), and
does
represent a certain turn of mind that we all need to deal with.

See, personally, I think he just likes stirring ****.

I agree. That's why I consider him a troll -- he's trolling the groups
looking to stir things up. It would be like if I went out and hung around on
Alt.Support.Childfree and talked on an on about my kids, and how everyone
should have kids and those who don't are immature, selfish and
self-centered.


For the record, if I were on alt.support.childfree (and I think I was
there at some point), I wouldn't be talking about my kids. I would
debate and argue their points. From what I remember, I wouldn't want
most of them to breed anyway!


Jamie Clark

Regards...

On Apr 21, 8:25 am, Beliavsky wrote:
On Apr 20, 3:45 pm, agsf_57 wrote:

It's the same concept. Women want to marry rich men so they can spend
their days watching Oprah and go shopping.

You are trolling. There do exist lazy women and lazy men, but that is
an insulting generalization.

I never used the word "lazy". If they could (assuming if they are not
fat and fugly), they would rather marry rich and stay home. If the
generalization has truth behind it, why do you find it insulting?? Did
you grow up thinking that you'll marry a rich woman and stay home and
play poker with your friends? Neither did I. However, the majority of
girls grow up aspiring to marry a rich man and to stay home and go to
the mall everyday with their girlfriends.

Call it trolling if you want, but what I state is the truth for the
majority of women.

Regards...