OT help with biting....not while nursing

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:s7CVb.445548$ts4.168878@pd7tw3no...

He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD.
It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to
have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard
enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour.

((hugs)) I have no sage advice for you. I remember that phase, but we were
able to get through it pretty well just by ignoring and or walking away.
Then a while later came the biting because she was mad at us phase. That
was the one that made me really angry. And I honestly can say that nothing
we did stopped her, she just quit on her own eventually.

--
Rhiannon
Mom to M. Girl (28 1/2 months) and O. Boy (7 months)

Dawn Lawson wrote:

a 17mo that is
cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket
case with biting.

Luke had a long love affair with biting. Some kids bite, others don't.
Hunter never did. Luke was king of the bite. :-( It started at daycare
and with Hunter. He bit when frustrated, tired, hungry, overly happy.
Biting was just his first reaction. It went through the roof after he
weaned. I tried everything under the sun. Removing him, removing myself,
scolding, giving him more crunchy things to eat, trying to redirect the bite
to something appropriate, screaming, crying, yelling NO BITE blah blah blah.
I never bit him back but it was next on my list ;-). I finally thought long
and hard about something I could do...instantly...that I knew he would
really dislike and that would not be a lot of interaction/reaction.
Restraint worked. Every time he bit I immediately grabbed him in a
backwards bear hug and told him 'no biting, mama's going to have to stop
you' and nothing more. That worked in about 3 days. Now he'll bite about
twice a month, not hard, and only when he is really tired/over stimulated.
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

She's A Goddess wrote:

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:s7CVb.445548$ts4.168878@pd7tw3no...

He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD.
It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to
have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard
enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour.


((hugs)) I have no sage advice for you. I remember that phase, but we were
able to get through it pretty well just by ignoring and or walking away.
Then a while later came the biting because she was mad at us phase. That
was the one that made me really angry. And I honestly can say that nothing
we did stopped her, she just quit on her own eventually.

Thanks, I'll take support in any form. I feel awful when I get so angry
at him, and I don't know why the biting makes me feel so
horrible/freaked out. I know it's an overreaction, and I do what I can
to outwardly react appropriately (though I've also told him that Mummy
doesn't like how his teeth feel, and I DO like his kisses, and cheer him
hugely for any non-biting mouthing (can't really call it kissing, but
it's not the horrible biting stuff) )

*sigh* It's just been a nightmare afternoon/evening, with one thing and
another. I caved in, called it a washout, he fell asleep cuddled in my
lap watching a cartoon on TV :-/ (normally it's a book in the rocker,
with Mozart which konks him by the third track...tonight felt pretty
"hillbilly" ;-) ), so at least it was a calm ending to the day.

He's a good boy, I can't complain. He eats well, he's very sensible,
he's good to the dog, he loves to be outside, he loves horses (good
boy!) and he's funny as hell. I still get stopped by strangers to tell
me how adorable he is (a lady in the grocery store actually stopped to
tell me he had "great ears"!). I can't get over how damn cute his
backside is when he's in streaker mode. ;-) I still adore his warm
little lumpy self wanting to cuddle in the mornings...but the biting!!
Ye Gads! I hope it's a short stage.


Dawn

Nikki wrote:

Dawn Lawson wrote:

a 17mo that is

cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket
case with biting.


Luke had a long love affair with biting. Some kids bite, others don't.
Hunter never did. Luke was king of the bite. :-( It started at daycare
and with Hunter. He bit when frustrated, tired, hungry, overly happy.

Yup, got a happy biter.

Biting was just his first reaction. It went through the roof after he
weaned.

hmmm, interesting. He's self-weaned in hte last month or so. Rarely
even attempts to nurse. Not sure if the biting is worse, but interesting.

I tried everything under the sun. Removing him, removing myself,
scolding, giving him more crunchy things to eat, trying to redirect the bite
to something appropriate, screaming, crying, yelling NO BITE blah blah blah.
I never bit him back but it was next on my list ;-).

Yeah, the list sounds familiar. At one point, he would bite me
fiercely, then bite his own finger, and sign "hurt" and if i asked him
why he shouldn't bite, he would sign "hurt". He signs hurt if he sees a
picture of something appropriate(we have a book that has a dog that
bonks its cartoon head, which he signs "hurt" for) and has shown me
small scrapes etc with the sign, so he seems ot understand the idea of
"hurt"

I finally thought long
and hard about something I could do...instantly...that I knew he would
really dislike and that would not be a lot of interaction/reaction.
Restraint worked. Every time he bit I immediately grabbed him in a
backwards bear hug and told him 'no biting, mama's going to have to stop
you' and nothing more. That worked in about 3 days. Now he'll bite about
twice a month, not hard, and only when he is really tired/over stimulated.

Hmmmm....might be worth a try. This is a kid that only holds my hand to
go down steps. Will ponder what else fits the bill here.

Thanks.

Dawn

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message
news:s7CVb.445548$ts4.168878@pd7tw3no...
Ok, I'm down to about my last nerve tonight. I have a tap that has
resisted all my efforts to replace parts, and is dripping non-stop
unless I turn it off under the sink, a dog that has been
puking/gagging/generally being revolting all day, and a 17mo that is
cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket
case with biting.

He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD.
It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to
have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard
enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour.

Sorry no advice, just some sympathy.
I have a couple of friends who have toddler boys who bite them (and other
kids) and I've seen two perfectly normal, intelligent, sane, healthy women
at their wits end.
One of the boys is starting to stop biting, but this is after months of his
mother putting him in "time-out" or just following through when she tells
him if he bites anyone at playgroup again, they are going (which is just as
tough on my friend I think).

On another note - I also hadn't realised that your DS had weaned. I know
that he decided it was time etc etc, but I hope you are coping OK with it.
DD goes through days when she wants to nurse about 3-4 times, and then not
at all the following day. It just breaks my heart every time I think "this
could be her last bf" .... but I'm rather 'hormonal' and teary about such
things at the moment anyway.

Hang in there
Amanda

--
DD 15th August 2002
1 tiny angel Nov 2003
EDD 19th August 2004

"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message ...

Ok, I'm down to about my last nerve tonight. I have a tap that has
resisted all my efforts to replace parts, and is dripping non-stop
unless I turn it off under the sink, a dog that has been
puking/gagging/generally being revolting all day, and a 17mo that is
cutting four teeth, suffering from a cold, and is making me a basket
case with biting.

He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD.
It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to
have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard
enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour.

My folks say "oh just ignore it, don't react" but frankly, the way it
makes me feel, that I haven't reacted the way every nerve is screaming
for me to react feels like all the ignoring I can do. So. Sitting
there with my hand in his mouth is NOT an option. Taking my hand out is
bloody difficult, he's usually doing this with both hands at full force
holding my hand or face into his mouth.

I've tried sitting him down, and walking away. Nothing. He could care
less. And even if it *does* upset him, it doesn't upset him enough to
make him reconsider a little while later.

My mom suggested he was trying to be lovey-dovey, but at this point, I'm
not sure a) that I buy that, given the look of utter ferocity on his
face and the fact that he HURTS me, and b) that I care WHAT he's trying
to do....I just want him to QUIT soon.

Does anyone have any ideas for me?


You could try not giving him access to your hands for a while.
My son loved to bite knees! Distraction is the key, and continue to act like
he hasn't bitten you even though it hurts. If you don't react at all he will
tire of it. Any reaction even an angry one will fuel the behaviour even
more.

Got to go let the *^(%*$ dog out for the thousandth time, and pray for
bedtime to arrive tonight with no hassle, so I can "detox" from this
rotten evening.

Dawn

Is the dog ill? Mine has just got over lungworm.

Andrea.

Andrea wrote:
"Dawn Lawson" wrote in message ...



He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD.
It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to
have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard
enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour.

My folks say "oh just ignore it, don't react" but frankly, the way it
makes me feel, that I haven't reacted the way every nerve is screaming
for me to react feels like all the ignoring I can do. So. Sitting
there with my hand in his mouth is NOT an option. Taking my hand out is
bloody difficult, he's usually doing this with both hands at full force
holding my hand or face into his mouth.


You could try not giving him access to your hands for a while.

??? I have to change him, dress him, bathe him, wipe his nose, and all
teh other mum stuff. Can't quite fathom how to do that wihtout giving
him access to my hands. Not like I'm sitting holding his hands or
something.

My son loved to bite knees! Distraction is the key, and continue to act like
he hasn't bitten you even though it hurts. If you don't react at all he will
tire of it. Any reaction even an angry one will fuel the behaviour even
more.

this isn't a new behaviour, i've been trying many things, including
distraction (damned difficult when he's got two hanks of hair from
either side of my head and I am basically immobile lest I end up with
scars) and ingnoring him (again...he's not biting and moving on, he's
biting and hanging on fiercely and if I just ignore him, he will be
there for a LOOOOOOOONG time. I can't do that.)

Dawn

A&G&K wrote:

"Dawn Lawson" dlaw
He will grab my hand, fingers or hair, and bite HARD.
It makes me seriously freaked out, it's a nightmarish feeling for me to
have teeth on my skin with any kind of pressure. And he's biting hard
enough to leave dents that last for 10-15 min and red marks for an hour.


Sorry no advice, just some sympathy.
I have a couple of friends who have toddler boys who bite them (and other
kids) and I've seen two perfectly normal, intelligent, sane, healthy women
at their wits end.

Oh yeah...
Maybe the panicky feeling I get isn't as unusual as I thought? I dunno.


On another note - I also hadn't realised that your DS had weaned. I know
that he decided it was time etc etc, but I hope you are coping OK with it.

Pretty much, although of cousre there are times when I feel sad. He's
latched on once or twice, but will not suck any more than a couple of
times, and then gives me a funny look....I really don't know what he's
trying to "say". He also wants me to hand-express a drop or two, which
is getting steadily harder to do. I'm not sure why he does this, either.

DD goes through days when she wants to nurse about 3-4 times, and then not
at all the following day. It just breaks my heart every time I think "this
could be her last bf" .... but I'm rather 'hormonal' and teary about such
things at the moment anyway.

I took note of the approaching weaning, and tried to really notice all
of his last sessions (I assume last....can't see him picking it up
again). I wasn't sure which was going to be the official "last" and I
don't honestly remember it, but I do know it hasn't been a terribly
traumatic time for either of us, once it was obviously the course of
events he wanted.

Dawn

On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 15:09:29 GMT, Dawn Lawson
wrote:

this isn't a new behaviour, i've been trying many things, including
distraction (damned difficult when he's got two hanks of hair from
either side of my head and I am basically immobile lest I end up with
scars) and ingnoring him (again...he's not biting and moving on, he's
biting and hanging on fiercely and if I just ignore him, he will be
there for a LOOOOOOOONG time. I can't do that.)

Has he ever bitten you while nursing? If so, what did you do to stop
it?
I would try showing my emotions, showing that it hurts, yell ow or
whatever you feel like doing. I know alot of people say to ignore it
or distract but that just won't work sometimes, where being loud will.
Good luck!
Marie

Marie wrote:

On Mon, 09 Feb 2004 15:09:29 GMT, Dawn Lawson
wrote:


this isn't a new behaviour, i've been trying many things, including
distraction (damned difficult when he's got two hanks of hair from
either side of my head and I am basically immobile lest I end up with
scars) and ingnoring him (again...he's not biting and moving on, he's
biting and hanging on fiercely and if I just ignore him, he will be
there for a LOOOOOOOONG time. I can't do that.)


Has he ever bitten you while nursing? If so, what did you do to stop
it?

extremely rare. hurt like a b*tch, so I hollered. Probably a half
dozen times in his life.

I would try showing my emotions, showing that it hurts, yell ow or
whatever you feel like doing. I know alot of people say to ignore it
or distract but that just won't work sometimes, where being loud will.

*g*
tried both aspects. No real change.

He's also biting my shoulder/clothes if I hold or carry him, so really
the suggestion to make myself unavailable isn't going to work at all.

May try giving him a teether or something and tell him that he can only
bite toys if he needs to bite.

Dawn