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How to monitor teenager's internet activity?



 
 
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  #11  
Old July 21st 03, 06:26 PM
Sonnie B.
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Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

Apparently you didn't read the original post TOO closely... let me repeat
the OP's question:

"Is there any way I can monitor her [teenage child] internet activity?"

I believe I answered that question, while you have gone into territory
which, albeit correct, wasn't necessarily the topic.

Of course, your thoughts are a reminder that is definitely poignant.

~ SB

Chookie wrote in message ...
In article ,
(Sonnie B.) wrote:

You can actually monitor your child's activity without your child even
knowing that you are doing it. It's great.


I have some problems with this -- and even with having the computer in a
public spot.

(a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material
(b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want
(c) You aren't telling your child about the dangers of giving out personal
details
(d) You will only find out they have seen something objectionable after the
event (even if it was accidental rather than deliberate)
(e) Your reaction then will almost certainly mean that your child won't turn
to you if they do stumble across something that worries them later
(f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they will
know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and spying is
acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.

This is a first pass for me as a Christian parent and librarian, but it seems
to me that we need to cover the following areas with our children:

1. Ways to find info on the net that will speed up searching and incidentally
minimise the risk of accidental p0rn viewing -- that is, using services like
the Yahoo directory, LII or BUBL over mindless search engines.

2. Netiquette (e-mail, chat and Usenet) -- not giving out personal details
would go here.

3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why you
don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid rape and how
to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life as well as the net,
obviously).

4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent services
independently, they know they can come to you if they come across something
weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.

Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
always accompany a child using online services. You don't let them into
swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
ideas. As the child gets older and becomes more streetwise, you can step back.

  #12  
Old July 21st 03, 06:49 PM
T.R.H.
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Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

yes, there are lots of programs such as keystroke recorders that will do
screen captures etc. out there. Do a google search on keystroke monitor or
something like that. Stealth keyboard intereceptor works good, you'll get
their passwords as well.

hth


"Yi Jin" wrote in message
...

I have a teenage who is doing internet visits a lot. Is there any
way I can monitor here internet activity? For example. to keep her
from deleting the history items in IE6?

Her PC is Windows 2000. She does need the write access to do her
homework during school days - right now she is just chating and
surfing.

Her PC connect to the wireless route, which connect to the cable
modem. My machine is also Windows 2000 Pro. Can I set a LAN network
so I can record all her activity in my machine?

If this a FAQ, sorry to ask again. Would appreciate if you can provide
a site for the FAQ.

Thanks,

Yi



  #13  
Old July 21st 03, 09:16 PM
Donna Metler
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Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

And the best filtering software out there won't block all objectionable
material, while blocking potentially useful stuff.

We have filters on the computers at school. They annoy me to no end, because
material I would like my children to be able to access is blocked. One
example considered "Objectionable/offensive content": The Digital Traditions
Folk Songs database. I expect the reason is that some folk songs contain
dated terms, which are now considered to be racially offensive (but are
appropriate to a historical study of the time).

However, when we first got the software installed, one of our 6th grade
students managed to locate a photo of a given rap artist-in the act of
recieving oral sex. She had been doing research for a independent project at
the time.

In general, most of my students are embarassed and humilated when they
accidentlally find something-and immediately tell me about it. I do walk
through the room constantly when they're working-but it is more to make sure
they're on task and not visiting dragonballz.com (or whatever this year's
fad will be).

Some of the filters get ridiculous. I am a board monitor for a board on
neopets (a virtual pets website, which has a lot of pre-and young teens)
which has very intensive language and content filters. I had a post refused
for telling someone (in answer to a question about my profession), that I
played "sax"-because apparently the language filter considers any word with
the combination of letters s*x to be offensive! Similarly, the written
number six is also considered offensive.




  #14  
Old July 22nd 03, 09:49 AM
Chookie
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Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

In article ,
Wendy Marsden wrote:

(a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material


Who *is* equipped to avoid objectionable material?


I wasn't talking about spam filters. I was talking about *mental* equipment,
eg knowing that on the web, "Click here for hot teens!" isn't likely to
provide pictures of nice boys in trendy clothes.

(b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want


I don't get this, either. By giving my daughter unfiltered access to the
internet she is definitely more able to find the things she wants.


I think you have misunderstood my responses. The OP and subsequent discussion
was focussed on monitoring internet activity via history lists etc. My
alphabetic points are telling you what surveillance *won't* do.

BTW, if your daughter doesn't know any search strategy beyond "Google it",
she's wasting her research time. See my point 1.

snip

(f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they
will know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and
spying is acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.


Not if it is part of the groundrules.


That is another option, but (if I were a teenager) I would still resent the
lack of trust that this ground rule implies. YMMV.

3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why
you don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid
rape and how to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life
as well as the net, obviously).


Yup, I agree. We're handling it. But how is monitoring their internet
access avoiding this task?


Er, how does monitoring internet access fulfil it?

4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent
services independently, they know they can come to you if they come across
something weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.


We call this the family dinner conversation.


That's not what I meant. I meant that they can consult you *immediately* when
the nice person in the chat room starts asking what time they should meet at
Manchester airport. IOW being the kind of parent that can be relied on for
support, not hysterics, at such a moment. I don't think mk parents would fall
down on this, of course, but it has to be said.

Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
always accompany a child using online services. You don't let them into
swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
ideas. As the child gets older and becomes more streetwise, you can step
back.


As it turns out, I let my teens go swimming unsupervised.


I imagine that would be because they can swim and you trust them to behave
decently in public. You are able to step back. OTOH I have a toddler.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"...children should continue to be breastfed... for up to two years of age
or beyond." -- Innocenti Declaration, Florence, 1 August 1990
  #15  
Old July 22nd 03, 07:58 PM
a unique individual
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

Imagine, the **** smearing all over his cock and flying everywhere, like a
motorcycle stuck in the mud.


can't you think of anything more original than this? we're all getting a bit
bored by your imagery here....
something involving alexei yagudin, perhaps?


Saerah
There are no memes. Pass it on.

"i'm still perfecting my new sub-genre of ska. death ska. it's great...
*happy upstrum, happy upstrum* "SCAR!" *happy upstrum, happy upstrum*
"PAIN!" *happy upstrum, happy upstrum* "DEATH!"
-Eddie Hill
  #16  
Old July 23rd 03, 04:40 PM
Barbara Bomberger
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Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?


Well, as somone who has raised a bunch of healthy, happy teens and
adults, who stilll trust and respect mom and dad although they had
rules and supervision..my take
(a) You aren't equipping your child to avoid objectionable material


Its the nature of children to explore things that are objectionalble
to their parents - especially teenage children. I can assure you that
my kids know that "hot boys"are exactly what they are. However, I
believe that as a parent, it is my responsiblity to decide what is
objectionable and what is not. Occasionally we disagree, and then
discussions arise. And quite frankly, what you as a Christian parent
consider objectionable, and what I consider objectionable, may not be
the same thing. My job as a parent is to have my child leave home
equipped to make discerning decisions on their own. Its a process and
its my job to guide them through that process. It takes a long time.

(b) You aren't equipping your child to find material they really want

I dont get this. My child knows how to do searches online, in print
and find material that they need, wether for personal or research
reasons. I am simply putting some of that information off limits,
depending on age and maturity. Just like I do some "R" movies.

(c) You aren't telling your child about the dangers of giving out personal
details

Of course i am. However, telling a child once, twice or even three
times is rarely enough. Its a repitition thing, as is most learning.
Meanwhile, I dont want a mistake made during the learning process.
And while they are learning t he dangers, I would rather not I, or
they, experience some of them

(d) You will only find out they have seen something objectionable after the
event (even if it was accidental rather than deliberate)

No, if its in a public place, it s more like "during" the event. And
even if it were always true, thats the same with most things. It
still doesnt prevent me from making it a learning experience.

(e) Your reaction then will almost certainly mean that your child won't turn
to you if they do stumble across something that worries them later

Nonsense.

In our house, (and in many others I expect) we would answer the
immediate questions, deal with the immediate problems if necessary and
then discuss later. AGain, this would be a learning experience as to
why said child shouldnt have visited said site, given out information
and so on. Kind of like t he drinking and driving contract we have
here. I have told my kid a gazillion times not to drink and drive or
get in the car with someone who does. Should a sitiuation arise, I
agree to come and get said kid(s) instantly. We then have
aconversation about the situation later, when all are calm and so on.

(f) When your kids discover you have been looking at their site logs they will
know that you don't trust them, and that you think prying and spying is
acceptable behaviour -- you will lose a LOT of face.

My kid know that while I respect their privacy, I also care for their
physical and mental well being. The fact that I leave my computer out
in public generally makes it unnecessary for me to spy. HOwever, in
my case, I haven't tricked my kids. They know we monitor the computer.
PERIOD. I dont allow chat when Im not around. period. I dont have
to lie or decieve.

1. Ways to find info on the net that will speed up searching and incidentally
minimise the risk of accidental p0rn viewing -- that is, using services like
the Yahoo directory, LII or BUBL over mindless search engines.

This is already addressed. However, what about chat sites, casual fun
viewing and so on. YOu can even find porn on yahoo.

2. Netiquette (e-mail, chat and Usenet) -- not giving out personal details
would go here.

We've discussed this. Kids need rule reinforcement, and rule
supervision. Peer pressure rules.

3. Pubescent children, as part of their sex education, need to know why you
don't believe they should look at p0rn, as well as how to avoid rape and how
to deal with improper advances (this goes for real life as well as the net,
obviously).


My children know why I dont believe they should look at porn. However
they have minds of their own, think on their own, and regularly, as
children, challenge everyday beliefs,

4. Have a strategy in place so that if children *are* using interent services
independently, they know they can come to you if they come across something
weird/worrying/objectionable and talk it over with you.

My children can do that at any time. Example in point: My thirteen
yearold wnated to get on the shockwave game site, and accidntally just
typed the word shock - trust me, don't do it. Sigh.
Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
always accompany a child using online services.

Well, I show my child how to use the service, supervise their use, and
then slowly let go,
swimming pools unsupervised; the internet is just a huge swimming pool of
ideas.

I do let my preteens and teenagers swim unsupervised (by me, not by
lifeguards and so on) and my teenagers swim unsupervised as long as
they are in groups and not alone.

Barb

  #17  
Old July 24th 03, 01:41 PM
Chookie
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Posts: n/a
Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

In article ,
Barbara Bomberger wrote:

Well, as somone who has raised a bunch of healthy, happy teens and
adults, who stilll trust and respect mom and dad although they had
rules and supervision..my take


snip most of it

You are doing more than monitoring your children's internet activity then.
This was the point I wanted to make strongly to the OP -- whacking on a
surveillance program doesn't go anywhere towards meeting children's needs in
this area, and might have the opposite result from the expected.

However, I
believe that as a parent, it is my responsiblity to decide what is
objectionable and what is not. Occasionally we disagree, and then
discussions arise. And quite frankly, what you as a Christian parent
consider objectionable, and what I consider objectionable, may not be
the same thing.


I'm a bit puzzled. I agree with all of this -- what made you think I
wouldn't? Though I suspect most parents probably have similar criteria for
"objectionable" wrt under-12s -- pictures of people having nooky (RSW
aside!), race hate/Holocaust denial sites, and distressing material involving
cruelty to animals/people. I think one has to deal with adolescents on an
individual basis.

Particularly with younger children, I think the starting point is that you
always accompany a child using online services.

Well, I show my child how to use the service, supervise their use, and
then slowly let go,


I expect to be doing the same thing in a few years time. DS is only two,
remember, and only knows that Daddy can show him pictures of trains. People
with lives may be unaware that there are apparently millions of gunzles
posting pictures of their favourite trains for the admiration of the world...

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"...children should continue to be breastfed... for up to two years of age
or beyond." -- Innocenti Declaration, Florence, 1 August 1990
  #18  
Old July 26th 03, 08:12 AM
R. Steve Walz
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Default How to monitor teenager's internet activity?

Barbara Bomberger wrote:

On Thu, 24 Jul 2003 22:41:38 +1000, Chookie
wrote:

In article ,
Barbara Bomberger wrote:

Well, as somone who has raised a bunch of healthy, happy teens and
adults, who stilll trust and respect mom and dad although they had
rules and supervision..my take


snip most of it

You are doing more than monitoring your children's internet activity then.
This was the point I wanted to make strongly to the OP -- whacking on a
surveillance program doesn't go anywhere towards meeting children's needs in
this area, and might have the opposite result from the expected.


Well, in that I agree. Unfortunately, there are alot of people who
dont even prepare for this kind of thing . They either dont see it
coming, or they havent had open discussion with their kids, and all of
it sudden its "oops" what do I do now!

this doesnt just happen to internet access. an example is the other
discussion on the young adult leaving the house. Mom and dad have set
rules, done things in a certiajn way, and all of a sudden its "whoops"
. NOw the kid is out of the house, and instead of being prepared to
be out of the house, it sounds (at least to me), that we have a sink
or swim situation.

I'm a bit puzzled. I agree with all of this -- what made you think I
wouldn't? Though I suspect most parents probably have similar criteria for
"objectionable" wrt under-12s -- pictures of people having nooky (RSW
aside!), race hate/Holocaust denial sites, and distressing material involving
cruelty to animals/people. I think one has to deal with adolescents on an
individual basis.


Yes, but you did imply that checking on where a kid has been online
was an invasion of privacy.

--------------------
Yes, it is!


I think thats good parenting.
-----------------------------
No, it isn't, it makes them hate your ****ing guts and ignore and
dishonor you in their mind.


I also
expect to know where my children have been at all times in real life .
period.
Barb

---------------------
That's because you're a low-grade moron.
Steve
 




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