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#1311
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Deadbeats
"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message lkaboutparenting.com... I do have a saving for my child, but the $100 a month is just going towards the household. When he starts paying the full amount then I will start back putting into her savings. You know if I was a mean person I could modify and raise his amount, but I am being nice. I didn't set the current amount the court did. He should have had his butt in court to defend himself. That was his choice not to show. He never even responded to paternity papers. The court decided that the kid was his because he didn't respond. Well now that he is over $12,000 behind on my case and $11,000 behind on his other case he needs to get a second job. ===== So you aren't even sure this is his kid? ===== ------------ Gini I am very sure this kid is his. He was the only man I slept with in this state. Pammie1 Due to circumstances beyond my control, I happened to catch a segment of "Maury" one day a month or so back. The particular piece was a woman who had made a similar claim... 19 times... and the 19th was shown, like the previous 18, NOT to be the father. The point being, if DNA was not used, few will just believe your word because of the number of times it has been falsely claimed that 'so-and-so' is the father. Without DNA, only you could know that he is the father and only then if you are being truthful. Due to some of the claims you've made here like "I made those comments because it's the men who seem to have a problem with having a child and taking care of it." "I know how to take care of my responsibilities unlike you poor examples of human life." "The only problem is it's hard to find a real man. One who will take care his responsibilities. All I keep hearing from are little boys like the ones responding against taking care of his kid/s.", and many more, often clashing with fathers who would love nothing more than being allowed to care for their children or single moms who *are* taking care of their children single-handedly. I believe it is rather obvious that you have a chip on your shoulder and you want to punish your child's father, not better your child's life, through C$. You came here with the attitude that only you have all the answers and that was before even hearing the questions. You came here calling people "dead-beats" without knowing anything about them other than the fact that they disagreed with you. In reply to me, you posted "All you Heathens who don't want to support your kids, who believe that abortion is the best choice. You better be careful Judgement Day is coming Soon!! You think it's Hell on Earth now just wait and see you Dead Beats.", then you were told some of the facts about me in regard to C$, specifically that I don't believe abortion-on-demand is a moral choice and I am current and have never been behind in the 16 years of paying outrageous C$. What I'm trying to say is give the posters a chance before denouncing them as "dead-beats" before you know jack about them other than they disagree with you and your possible motives. Until you have walked in their shoes, don't judge others actions based on your circumstances. Phil #3 |
#1312
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Deadbeats
"Bob Whiteside" wrote in message hlink.net... "Phil #3" wrote in message link.net... "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message ink.net... "Phil #3" wrote in message ink.net... "Bob Whiteside" wrote in message link.net... "Phil #3" wrote in message link.net... "Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message lkaboutparenting.com... Okay Phil #3 I can see why you would be upset. That is totally wrong how she is using her Child Support money. She is a leech. I think she can live off $400 a month or less. It's not like she is has responsibilities. She is living large at your expensive. That's not good. Have you tried to modify? I am just curious if you can have your support lowered. Pammie1 When it mattered most, I could not afford to even take off of work long enough for a hearing, much less hire an attorney or even research it myself. Now I'm down to less than a year so it would likely cost me as much or more than I could save, not to mention I am temporarily stationed 1000 miles from the state of origin. Besides, I've learned to live without it, soon we'll see if SHE can Phil #3 ------------ I don't think she would be able to survive without that extra income coming in. That would be interesting to see. Less than a year to go...wow your time will be up before you know it. Are you planning a big get away when that time comes? Pammie1 I don't know what I'll do. It will be like getting a big raise, though. Phil #3 I sent my ex an Excel spreadsheet detailing all of the payments for CS, alimony, attorney fees, and other expenses I was required to pay broken down by year. I thought she would thank me for being so generous and taking care of my responsibilities. And tell me she couldn't have been the CP without my financial contributions and relate how much she appreciated my willingness to be so liberal in helping out with extra visitations. /s/ As usual her response was she never got that much money. But she got the point - it was a major amount she no longer would get. Funny you should mention that. I have an Excel spreadsheet showing the C$ payments, when due, when paid, of course the amount and total paid. Mine counts down the number of payments left, how many months (or fractions thereof) remaining. I never thought of sending it to her but I think I will Thanks for the idea. I also have a countdown clock showing the exact years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds left before Independence Day When I installed it, I had several years left. Slowly, I have watched the years tick by; it seemed like it would be forever when I started counting in 1995. Just an FYI - Don't count portions of months. The last CS payment accrues on the first day of the month and is due by the end of the last day of the month. Even if your child is no longer eligible for CS on the 2nd day of the final month in the order you will still owe for the full month. Pay for the last month in full and smile knowing it is the last payment. And be sure to check what is required in the local court's rules to fully satisfy the CS judgment and close the money judgment file forever. Like I stated, it does not go through the gummit (thank goodness) and the specifics are that my child must be both over 18 and graduated from high school in order to end the siege. His 19th birthday will precede his graduation by about one week, both of which are after the date the C$ is due for that month. That means I will have paid for the month (May) and in June, he will be both over 18 and graduated, ergo, no C$ due. I have been trying to find case law covering having a judge sign off on having C$ ended but have been unable to find anything. Other than just the details of the court order that demands support also contains the elements to end it, so I suppose I will contact an attorney about getting a signed court order stop C$ since I haven't found anything. I paid an attorney $50 for a 30 minute consultation on how to close out the money judgements. He gave me a copy of the state law regarding how to proceed. My case originated in a different county, and not surprisingly, that county does not follow the state law. They have their own procedure. When I ask for the procedure they told me they couldn't give me legal advice. It was like Catch-22. My suggestion is it may not be as straight forward to close out the money judgement as you might assume. I'm not making any assumptions, just looking for how to proceed when the time comes; of course, I want to know *before* the final day but I just can't seem to find anything. Due to my situation, if necessary I would have to hire another liar.... er... lawyer to file for me and follow through to the end. I'm unsure if the original court order would be sufficient to end the C$ based on the terms of the order, or if I must obtain a new court order ending the C$. *That* is what I'm having trouble finding case or legislated law concerning. Phil #3 |
#1313
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Deadbeats
"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message lkaboutparenting.com... Okay AZ since you are not getting it. Let's just put it in terms you may understand. ==== Gosh--Why are you so insistent that if anyone disagrees with you, it's because they don't understand? Ya know, I haven't seen a whole lot of deep thinking come out of you. OK, let's try this--(to make things a little easier for *you*): WE GET IT! WE DON"T AGREE WITH YOU! How's that? ------------------- Oh gad!! Gini I now have cherry kool aid all over my monitor!!! You crack me up!!! ~AZ~ -------------- I don't give a rats behind if you don't agree with me. I have my own opinions and it's nothing you can do to change that. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that cs is in effect and these dead beats are going down if they don't take care of their kid. ------------- And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if the guy wants nothing to do with the kid then all your histrionics aren't going to change that. Oh but wait, you couldn't care less about a relationship between them. You're all about the money. ~AZ~ Pammie1 |
#1314
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Deadbeats
"teachrmama" wrote in message ... "Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message lkaboutparenting.com... I thought you said he was paying and that if a dad is paying "something," he doesn't meet your definition of "deadbeat." ==== In case you didn't know, it's hard being a single parent. ==== Oh puleeze! I was a single parent and full time student--graduated with honors --double major of history and pre-law--Easy? Hardly! And, I worked painting houses in my "free" time. I collected no child support and I can assure you that I didn't spend my time obsessing on what my ex "owed" our kids. Spare me the whining about how "hard" it is being a single parent! I've had a hell of a lot bigger challenges than that to face. Life is hard--You pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do what you have to do in the best interest of the kids. You brought this entire matter on yourself and your daughter. Yeah, I've read what you've posted and it's all been how much of a victim you are of this man and I'm ------------------ Gini I consider my child's dad a dead beat because someone who is $12,000 in child support is not making payments. That just isn't true, Pammie! My husband found out that he was the father of an almost 13 year old girl by a one night stand a couple of years ago. He never knew she existed. We were married and had the 2 children we knew we could afford, and he was hit with 2 years of instant arrearages. Fortunately, they couldn't go all the way back to the birth of the child--they could only go back 2 years. But his instant arrears have destroyed our credit. We could not refinance our home because of the lien they have on it. When the mortgage agent called to find out if they would subordinate their claim so we could refinance, the CS idiot said "not this scumbag" as if he were an outrageous deadbeat who never paid--and he has never missed a payment since the order was in place! You can't just look at a high number and say "This guy must be a deadbeat." People are screwed by the system all the time, and end up with outrageous numbers attached to their names! Here's another horror story to prove having a large arrearage does not mean a father hasn't paid CS. On three occasions, while in court for other issues, my ex told the court I was in arrears on CS. It was like an after thought issue to what we were really there for that day. The judge asked if I had my payment records with me. Of course, I didn't have my payment records, I had no idea I would be challenged on my CS payments. Those misrepresentations on her part caused me to pay over $13,000 more CS than the court ordered. The judges move the goal posts all the time so a father cannot possibly be prepared or meet the requirements they set up. The game, I finally figured out, is it doesn't matter how much a father actually pays. What the court says he has paid is the amount the court uses. And all a mother has to do is verbally claim non-receipt of CS to get the judge to act on her behalf. I tried to come back, show my payment records, and prove she lied claiming no judge had ever looked at my payment records in establishing arrearages. The court ruled I could not go behind the arrearage determinations once the arrearages had been established and the court would not take the time to even consider my payment records because it didn't matter what I really paid. |
#1315
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Deadbeats
Gini I consider my child's dad a dead beat because someone who is
$12,000 in child support is not making payments. That just isn't true, Pammie! My husband found out that he was the father of an almost 13 year old girl by a one night stand a couple of years ago. He never knew she existed. We were married and had the 2 children we knew we could afford, and he was hit with 2 years of instant arrearages. Fortunately, they couldn't go all the way back to the birth of the child--they could only go back 2 years. But his instant arrears have destroyed our credit. We could not refinance our home because of the lien they have on it. When the mortgage agent called to find out if they would subordinate their claim so we could refinance, the CS idiot said "not this scumbag" as if he were an outrageous deadbeat who never paid--and he has never missed a payment since the order was in place! You can't just look at a high number and say "This guy must be a deadbeat." People are screwed by the system all the time, and end up with outrageous numbers attached to their names! -------------- Teachrmama I agree with you totally, but when I speak I speak of my case only. I have no idea what goes on in other cases. I do realize that the good men in the world seem to get screwed by the system while the true dead beats get away with not paying. I have a girlfriend who is married and she and her hubby found out that he has a kid. They are going through that same mess. I know in my case the arrears grew over time. It was nothing instant about it. Pammie1 |
#1316
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Deadbeats
Here's another horror story to prove having a large arrearage does not
mean a father hasn't paid CS. On three occasions, while in court for other issues, my ex told the court I was in arrears on CS. It was like an after thought issue to what we were really there for that day. The judge asked if I had my payment records with me. Of course, I didn't have my payment records, I had no idea I would be challenged on my CS payments. Those misrepresentations on her part caused me to pay over $13,000 more CS than the court ordered. The judges move the goal posts all the time so a father cannot possibly be prepared or meet the requirements they set up. The game, I finally figured out, is it doesn't matter how much a father actually pays. What the court says he has paid is the amount the court uses. And all a mother has to do is verbally claim non-receipt of CS to get the judge to act on her behalf. I tried to come back, show my payment records, and prove she lied claiming no judge had ever looked at my payment records in establishing arrearages. The court ruled I could not go behind the arrearage determinations once the arrearages had been established and the court would not take the time to even consider my payment records because it didn't matter what I really paid. ------------ That is a horror story. Like I said before it's always the good guys that get screwed. Pammie1 |
#1317
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Deadbeats
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I happened to catch a segment of
"Maury" one day a month or so back. The particular piece was a woman who had made a similar claim... 19 times... and the 19th was shown, like the previous 18, NOT to be the father. The point being, if DNA was not used, few will just believe your word because of the number of times it has been falsely claimed that 'so-and-so' is the father. Without DNA, only you could know that he is the father and only then if you are being truthful. Due to some of the claims you've made here like "I made those comments because it's the men who seem to have a problem with having a child and taking care of it." "I know how to take care of my responsibilities unlike you poor examples of human life." "The only problem is it's hard to find a real man. One who will take care his responsibilities. All I keep hearing from are little boys like the ones responding against taking care of his kid/s.", and many more, often clashing with fathers who would love nothing more than being allowed to care for their children or single moms who *are* taking care of their children single-handedly. I believe it is rather obvious that you have a chip on your shoulder and you want to punish your child's father, not better your child's life, through C$. You came here with the attitude that only you have all the answers and that was before even hearing the questions. You came here calling people "dead-beats" without knowing anything about them other than the fact that they disagreed with you. In reply to me, you posted "All you Heathens who don't want to support your kids, who believe that abortion is the best choice. You better be careful Judgement Day is coming Soon!! You think it's Hell on Earth now just wait and see you Dead Beats.", then you were told some of the facts about me in regard to C$, specifically that I don't believe abortion-on-demand is a moral choice and I am current and have never been behind in the 16 years of paying outrageous C$. What I'm trying to say is give the posters a chance before denouncing them as "dead-beats" before you know jack about them other than they disagree with you and your possible motives. Until you have walked in their shoes, don't judge others actions based on your circumstances. Phil #3 --------------- I agree with you totally Phil #3 about not judging. When I make comments I am speaking to whoever is reading. If it applies to you than I am speaking directly to you, but if it doesn't apply to you then I am really not coming down on you. You seem to be a very good father figure. I apologize if I came at you the wrong way. You may have a point, I do have a bone to pick with my kid's father. I don't hate him and I am not angry with him. I just want him to learn that you can't deceive women and live a happy and free life. Now if it was another situation where he told me that he was married and he really didn't want a relationship, and I got pregnant by him anyway, then I probably wouldn't go after cs. I would have had the facts right there in my face. But when some tells you they want to marry you and want to get you pregnant and you find out it's all a lie, then that really hurts. Like I said I have learned. I am not going to fall for those lines anymore. Pammie1 |
#1318
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Deadbeats
You like those, Pammie? Try reading my story that I started posting only
days ago....and it ain't a fairy tale. I just got hit for an additional $25,000+ in arrearages for filing an appeal in a case that legally doesn't exist, and I can't get that state to pull their head out of their ass because they want money they were defrauded by my ex......and even if they had a legal and legitimate claim, there is no way in Hell they ever paid her anywhere near the almost $50,000 they are now claiming. That $48,460 is up from $23,044 they have been claiming since Christmas. It gets even better. Originally I had challenged them, hired an attorney, and filed to vacate the order they had entered. My attorney had apparently committed suicide 6 years ago, but the state never contacted me or anyone else regarding this case until Christmas 2003. They never even filed or registered their claim, as required by both state and federal statute, with the state that actually has subject matter jurisdiction in this case. If they had, they would have been informed of their lack of jurisdiction and authority to have entered any decisions in this case, basically telling them to eat whatever ridiculous amount of money they claim, because it is a bogus claim. Iowa hates to lose, so they are doing everything they can to continue this claim in their state, using the long arm provisions of the UIFSA to reach out and tag me where ever I happen to be....except Nebraska, where they know they can't have a case because they know it will end Iowa's claims forever. The other 48 states only know what Iowa tells them, and no one knows to call Nebraska to find out I don't actually owe support. Now, since I never missed a single payment of support at any time when I did have to pay, *I* was the CP for over 10 years. ALL I ever collected from my ex was $7600, and even in the end, *she* was over the $1000 arrearage level to make it a felony, yet no one put her name on Iowa's website of deadbeat parents. I was more concerned that she have a relationship with her kids, even when I was laid up and could not work ( which happened frequently because jobs that get you hurt most often pay the most ). Now, since my life is effectively screwed by a vengeful witch that gets to go on with her life while I spend my days in court, drained of all resources, and had an effectual loss of wages, salaries, and commissions of nearly $500,000 because of their actions, how do you suppose I will get that back? Now, which one of us was the loser? Which one of us was the deadbeat? You can figure it out. It's easy if you try. Things aren't as black and white in my world as they are in yours. In my world, you do the right thing, and you get screwed. Let no good deed go unpunished. "Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message lkaboutparenting.com... Here's another horror story to prove having a large arrearage does not mean a father hasn't paid CS. On three occasions, while in court for other issues, my ex told the court I was in arrears on CS. It was like an after thought issue to what we were really there for that day. The judge asked if I had my payment records with me. Of course, I didn't have my payment records, I had no idea I would be challenged on my CS payments. Those misrepresentations on her part caused me to pay over $13,000 more CS than the court ordered. The judges move the goal posts all the time so a father cannot possibly be prepared or meet the requirements they set up. The game, I finally figured out, is it doesn't matter how much a father actually pays. What the court says he has paid is the amount the court uses. And all a mother has to do is verbally claim non-receipt of CS to get the judge to act on her behalf. I tried to come back, show my payment records, and prove she lied claiming no judge had ever looked at my payment records in establishing arrearages. The court ruled I could not go behind the arrearage determinations once the arrearages had been established and the court would not take the time to even consider my payment records because it didn't matter what I really paid. ------------ That is a horror story. Like I said before it's always the good guys that get screwed. Pammie1 |
#1319
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Deadbeats
"Pammie1" southerngirl@The Real Thing wrote in message lkaboutparenting.com... Gini I consider my child's dad a dead beat because someone who is $12,000 in child support is not making payments. That just isn't true, Pammie! My husband found out that he was the father of an almost 13 year old girl by a one night stand a couple of years ago. He never knew she existed. We were married and had the 2 children we knew we could afford, and he was hit with 2 years of instant arrearages. Fortunately, they couldn't go all the way back to the birth of the child--they could only go back 2 years. But his instant arrears have destroyed our credit. We could not refinance our home because of the lien they have on it. When the mortgage agent called to find out if they would subordinate their claim so we could refinance, the CS idiot said "not this scumbag" as if he were an outrageous deadbeat who never paid--and he has never missed a payment since the order was in place! You can't just look at a high number and say "This guy must be a deadbeat." People are screwed by the system all the time, and end up with outrageous numbers attached to their names! -------------- Teachrmama I agree with you totally, but when I speak I speak of my case only. I have no idea what goes on in other cases. I do realize that the good men in the world seem to get screwed by the system while the true dead beats get away with not paying. I have a girlfriend who is married and she and her hubby found out that he has a kid. They are going through that same mess. I know in my case the arrears grew over time. It was nothing instant about it. --------------- But can't you understand that you are in a forum where the dads are not deadbeats but they vigorously disagree with the cs system? The amounts they are ordered to pay have no basis in reality. They receive no assistance from the gov to enforce visitation but a woman gets all the free help to enforce a cs order. And a million other reasons cs is unfair, unjust and in no way set up, as the gov likes to claim, to help the children. Yes, we are ****ed and while writing letters to the newspapers or our representatives in congress is one way to try to educate people, this is where us anti-cs, (they way that it is now), people go to vent. So, when you just slam in here and declare us a bunch of deadbeats, etc it's no surprise that that you receive the reception that you have. Have you ever considered that there are a LOT more situations like the ones stated here than there are like yours? Is it possible that the majority of men really don't want to be forced out of their kids life and to pay an amount of cs not in any way based in reality? ~AZ~ Pammie1 |
#1320
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Deadbeats
Teachrmama I agree with you totally, but when I speak I speak of my case
only. I have no idea what goes on in other cases. I do realize that the good men in the world seem to get screwed by the system while the true dead beats get away with not paying. I have a girlfriend who is married and she and her hubby found out that he has a kid. They are going through that same mess. I know in my case the arrears grew over time. It was nothing instant about it. --------------- But can't you understand that you are in a forum where the dads are not deadbeats but they vigorously disagree with the cs system? The amounts they are ordered to pay have no basis in reality. They receive no assistance from the gov to enforce visitation but a woman gets all the free help to enforce a cs order. And a million other reasons cs is unfair, unjust and in no way set up, as the gov likes to claim, to help the children. Yes, we are ****ed and while writing letters to the newspapers or our representatives in congress is one way to try to educate people, this is where us anti-cs, (they way that it is now), people go to vent. So, when you just slam in here and declare us a bunch of deadbeats, etc it's no surprise that that you receive the reception that you have. Have you ever considered that there are a LOT more situations like the ones stated here than there are like yours? Is it possible that the majority of men really don't want to be forced out of their kids life and to pay an amount of cs not in any way based in reality? ~AZ~ ------------- I get it now. I totally see everyone's point. When I am thinking it's only about my case. Now I am thinking outside the box and I see what's going on. I really didn't realized that there are so many different cases out there. Okay now that I have read what the men are going through, I see now that men are getting screwed. NOT MY KID'S FATHER. He is still a loser. ) One thing I have noticed that I have a lot the men and women in this forum telling me to forget about support and do it all on my own. Do they not see that my case is different from theirs? Just because one man might be getting screwed doesn't mean that another man is being screwed out of cs money. The father of my kid didn't have a major surprise like being hit with a large arrears amount. If he just would have paid on his case and stayed on top of it, things would have been simple. I am sure there are a lot of screwed up cases out there, but at the same rate there are a lot of cases that are justified. To be honest with the men in this forum I would be sick if I was ever put in the situations I am hearing. It really makes my case sound petty. I really had no idea how men are getting treated like this by the cs system. That's messed up. Sorry guys. You have a valid point. I am just in shock right now. Pammie1 |
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