tubal ligation questions xposted

On Tue, 25 Oct 2005 22:55:41 -0700, "Jamie Clark"
wrote:

Why not get hubby snipped instead? Out patient procedure, faster healing
time, less time off work and out of commission. Just a thought.

I have to agree. If not for having a c-section this last time so I
went ahead with a tubal, I was insistent that hubby get snipped.
It made no sense to have me go through surgery that would require
general anesthesia and possibly an overnight hospital stay when a
vasectomy would be far easier on him.

Nan

The decision that 2 people as a couple don't want more children is
quite different to would I as an individual in a different world want
more
children.

Well the OP is looking into a tubal ligation, that should tell you that
she
is looking for a more permanent measure for birth control.

obviously, but as it is the women who is posting, she/they have presumable
come to the decision that they as a couple do not want more children and
that she personally doesn't, but says nothing about her husband, for whose
sake I've thrown in the opposing argument, I'd hate for her to say to him,
hey someone said why don't you get snipped, him go ahead and them some
disaster happen.

Anne

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
obviously, but as it is the women who is posting, she/they have presumable
come to the decision that they as a couple do not want more children and
that she personally doesn't, but says nothing about her husband, for whose
sake I've thrown in the opposing argument, I'd hate for her to say to him,
hey someone said why don't you get snipped, him go ahead and them some
disaster happen.

They are adults and capable of making a decision on their own. They know how
they are feeling more than we do. I did not get from her post that she
wasn't done having children. How did you arrive at that? Here is what she
wrote: "So now for the reason I am posting.....DH and I have decided that
our family is now complete and I am considering a tubal ligation for some
time in the new year."

Anyway Anne, you obviously are not done having children and that is fine.
This does not mean that everyone is where you are at. The OP and her husband
have decided to do something permanent. A tubal ligation is more invasive
for the woman than it is for the man. And I also pointed out that her
insurance, like mine, would not cover a tubal. She may have to look at other
options. The OP is concerned about recovery time and for a tubal, recovery
may take longer than she wants. That is why some of us suggested that her
husband get a vasectomy. Recovery time for the husband is hours and not days
like a tubal would be. If the husband is not comfortable with it, I am sure
there will be some discussion on their part. Only they know how they feel
about this.

And for the record, I never asked my husband to be snipped. He arrived at
that decision himself. I looked into a tubal, but it required general
anesthesia, recovery time that would be not compatible with caring for a
newborn and two toddlers (my family) and then the clincher was our insurance
didn't cover a tubal. I am done having children and my husband is done no
matter what. I would not want to replace the children I have if something
happens and both of us are very comfortable with the fact that there will be
no more babies. We are older and there is no way I would want to go down the
baby road again. If for some reason, I get so baby hooked, I think adoption
would be the route I took, rather than have another baby at my age. However,
I am ready to move on to my next phase in life. Perhaps the OP is in the
same boat, but for you to keep pushing other methods then that is not
helpful if the OP is not looking to go down that road.
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

They are adults and capable of making a decision on their own. They know
how
they are feeling more than we do. I did not get from her post that she
wasn't done having children. How did you arrive at that? Here is what she
wrote: "So now for the reason I am posting.....DH and I have decided that
our family is now complete and I am considering a tubal ligation for some
time in the new year."

I got _she_ was done having children, it was _her_ who was considering tubal
litigation, you and Jamie both suggested vasectomy, but _he_ hadn't posted,
I couldn't sit there and let someone think this was a wonderful solution, so
I threw in the opposing side of the argument.


Anyway Anne, you obviously are not done having children and that is fine.
This does not mean that everyone is where you are at. The OP and her
husband
have decided to do something permanent. A tubal ligation is more invasive
for the woman than it is for the man. And I also pointed out that her
insurance, like mine, would not cover a tubal. She may have to look at
other
options. The OP is concerned about recovery time and for a tubal, recovery
may take longer than she wants. That is why some of us suggested that her
husband get a vasectomy. Recovery time for the husband is hours and not
days
like a tubal would be. If the husband is not comfortable with it, I am
sure
there will be some discussion on their part. Only they know how they feel
about this.

And for the record, I never asked my husband to be snipped. He arrived at
that decision himself. I looked into a tubal, but it required general
anesthesia, recovery time that would be not compatible with caring for a
newborn and two toddlers (my family) and then the clincher was our
insurance
didn't cover a tubal. I am done having children and my husband is done no
matter what. I would not want to replace the children I have if something
happens and both of us are very comfortable with the fact that there will
be
no more babies. We are older and there is no way I would want to go down
the
baby road again. If for some reason, I get so baby hooked, I think
adoption
would be the route I took, rather than have another baby at my age.
However,
I am ready to move on to my next phase in life. Perhaps the OP is in the
same boat, but for you to keep pushing other methods then that is not
helpful if the OP is not looking to go down that road.

re read what you have said, you are the one that is suggesting an
alternative to what the other poster had asked for information about, I've
not pushed other methods at all, other than a brief suggestion that a coil
may be an option if she feels that the time is not right for a tubal just
now. I see no way in which I've been unhelpful, I offered an alternative
view just as you did, you followed up my view as you seem not to have
understood it and still seem not to have understood it.

A coil for 5 years, followed by a tubal, would have the same effect the OP
is asking about, without the recovery and op she seems concerned about at
this time, it delays it until it might be a better time for her family. A
vasectomy whilst having the same results for the couple does not have the
same results for each individual.

For you and your family, you are obviously both happy that neither of you
want more children, regardless of what happens in future, you offered
vasectomy as the perfect solution, which it may not be, I offered a
different solution to the problem as I understood it, which is also not
perfect.

Anne

On 27 Oct 2005 17:18:05 GMT, "Anne Rogers"
wrote:

They are adults and capable of making a decision on their own. They know
how
they are feeling more than we do. I did not get from her post that she
wasn't done having children. How did you arrive at that? Here is what she
wrote: "So now for the reason I am posting.....DH and I have decided that
our family is now complete and I am considering a tubal ligation for some
time in the new year."

I got _she_ was done having children, it was _her_ who was considering tubal
litigation, you and Jamie both suggested vasectomy, but _he_ hadn't posted,
I couldn't sit there and let someone think this was a wonderful solution, so
I threw in the opposing side of the argument.


The OP stated, "DH and I have decided that our family is now
complete..." Suggesting the possibility of a vasectomy is a perfectly
reasonable response.

Nan

"Anne Rogers" wrote in message
...

obviously, but as it is the women who is posting, she/they have presumable
come to the decision that they as a couple do not want more children and
that she personally doesn't, but says nothing about her husband, for whose
sake I've thrown in the opposing argument, I'd hate for her to say to him,
hey someone said why don't you get snipped, him go ahead and them some
disaster happen.

I should think that in the majority of couples permenant sterilization is a
mutual decision where you *both* have decided that you are done having
children, irregardless of the future. If dh is done having children with me,
why shouldn't I think that he wouldn't be done if I passed on and he found
someone else.

JMO, but I have to live for the "now", not for the very remote "what could
be".

JennP.

I have never had this done but I know a few women who did have it done. The
last person I know who did it also said she was out of commission for almost
a week. She had to have help to care for her kids.
Raquel

"Fer" wrote in message
news:9gC7f.40750$y_1.16336@edtnps89...
Wow, it's been ages since I have posted here (still lurk religiously tho
but it I knew it was the place to come for the answers I need!



Quick update: My YS is quite the rambunctious toddler. Still nursing
strong @ just about 17 months. My longest nursling by far OS is
growing
like a weed. I never realized that having a child going through puberty
is
like watching a human science experiment! DD is being home schooled
this
year and loving it.

As for myself and DH it been a busy year and a half , new business, new
baby, new schooling. I truly thought I had child rearing down pat until
YS
came along. He honestly made me feel like a brand new mom, much more
demanding than my other two. I've had less sleep in the past 17 months
than
the past 13 years I'm sure but I am very very happy



So now for the reason I am posting.....DH and I have decided that our
family
is now complete and I am considering a tubal ligation for some time in the
new year. I am curious about your experiences to do with recovery time,
pain, effectiveness and so forth. YS is SUCH a momma's boy and I don't
see
him slowing down any time soon so my concerns really stem for being able
to
heal properly while dealing with him 24/7.



Thanks a ton!!!



Jenn

DS1 (Feb 92)

DD (Feb 97)

DS2 ( June 04)

"Raquel Kalbfus" wrote in message
. ..
I have never had this done but I know a few women who did have it done.
The
last person I know who did it also said she was out of commission for
almost
a week. She had to have help to care for her kids.


I am personally a fan of men being tied, as women did all the birthing work
it seems only fair.

I think I'm also leaning towards this way of thinking. Women go through
alot. There are alot of people in our area whose husbands took this route
themselves and they all seem pretty happy with their choice. We are now
thinking what we will do when the time comes.

"Child" wrote in message
...

"Raquel Kalbfus" wrote in message
. ..
I have never had this done but I know a few women who did have it done.
The
last person I know who did it also said she was out of commission for
almost
a week. She had to have help to care for her kids.


I am personally a fan of men being tied, as women did all the birthing
work
it seems only fair.

The OP stated, "DH and I have decided that our family is now
complete..." Suggesting the possibility of a vasectomy is a perfectly
reasonable response.

I don't deny that, what I'm confused about is why my response is not
reasonable.

But you don't seem to have picked up what I was saying either, deciding that
_our_ family is now complete is quite different to saying that in a
hypothetical situation that each indivdual may not have more children.

Say you and your children were to die in a car smash tomorrow, I've no idea
how old your DH is, but the chances are is he is plenty young enough to want
to have a new family if he meets the right woman.

I know Larry has two families, I don't know the history, but without being
able to see into the future you don't know what is going to happen, I don't
consider sterilisation the answer to "My DH and I have decided our family is
complete", instead it is the answer to the question "My DH and I have
decided our family is complete and having thought about it, both of us are
completely convinced that whatever the situation and whatever might happen
in future that neither of us wishes to have a child with a different
partner."

Anne