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#261
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
"Moon Shyne" wrote in message
... "Tracy" wrote in message . .. "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Tracy" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... It's called cover thy ass. Don't you think that ALL responsible adults should act in their own best interests? Yes, all responsible adults should do what is right for their own interest. Unfortunately there are adults who don't see eye-to-eye in what being responsible is, which is the real problem and why governments have laws, etc. Then it is their own human thinking of what is best for 'them' that could cause even the most responsible people to do stupid things. Think about those who believe it is in their best interest to lie about a subject which they feel is minor to a person who sees it is a major issue. In the long run the lie causes more problems than it is worth. Agreed - but I was referring to things like EVERY adult taking responsibility for their own birth control methods,....... and anyone who has to make a payment for something doing it in a way that they have legally recognized proof of the payment. There's really no excuse for not covering your own ass, and then trying to lay the blame for a negative outcome on someone else. Like I heard from a couch recently, "you will fine excuses are just that 'excuses'." In my opinion an excuse is not justification or use of reasoning when trying to not own up to responsibility. I've also been told that it is controling behavior when those who attempt to make someone feel guilty instead of being responsible for their personal behavior. Pretty much...... it's the bank's fault, it's the ex's fault, it's the lawyer's fault, it's the judge's fault, it's CSE's fault....... seems to be a recurring theme. About five months ago it was suggested to me to read a book. The title was "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting." It is written by Lynn Grabhorn. I purchased the book and read it as often as I could just to turn around and share what I got out of the book with the person who suggested it. I found the book to be revelent in everyone's lives as it speaks of the possibilities when you think positively versus negatively. It talks about blaiming and how blaiming only brings negative rather than positive outcome. I suggest anyone who has an open mind, and heart, to read the book. There is some dry humor in the book, but it has helped me to remain calm and not let go of my positive thoughts (wants) even during the most undesirable situations. Tracy |
#262
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
"Tracy" wrote in Pretty much...... it's the bank's fault, it's the ex's fault, it's the lawyer's fault, it's the judge's fault, it's CSE's fault....... seems to be a recurring theme. About five months ago it was suggested to me to read a book. The title was "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting." It is written by Lynn Grabhorn. I purchased the book and read it as often as I could just to turn around and share what I got out of the book with the person who suggested it. I found the book to be revelent in everyone's lives as it speaks of the possibilities when you think positively versus negatively. It talks about blaiming and how blaiming only brings negative rather than positive outcome. I guess woudl should all be too happy to take respocibility for our ****ups and be glad to pay the $1200/mth that the government has set forth. I guess we could have all sat back and waited for the Nazies to arrive at our borders and let them dictate a way of life for us. What was that famous American saying, "Give me Liberty or Give me Death"? |
#263
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
"Tracy" wrote in message . .. "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Tracy" wrote in message . .. "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... "Tracy" wrote in message ... "Moon Shyne" wrote in message ... It's called cover thy ass. Don't you think that ALL responsible adults should act in their own best interests? Yes, all responsible adults should do what is right for their own interest. Unfortunately there are adults who don't see eye-to-eye in what being responsible is, which is the real problem and why governments have laws, etc. Then it is their own human thinking of what is best for 'them' that could cause even the most responsible people to do stupid things. Think about those who believe it is in their best interest to lie about a subject which they feel is minor to a person who sees it is a major issue. In the long run the lie causes more problems than it is worth. Agreed - but I was referring to things like EVERY adult taking responsibility for their own birth control methods,....... and anyone who has to make a payment for something doing it in a way that they have legally recognized proof of the payment. There's really no excuse for not covering your own ass, and then trying to lay the blame for a negative outcome on someone else. Like I heard from a couch recently, "you will fine excuses are just that 'excuses'." In my opinion an excuse is not justification or use of reasoning when trying to not own up to responsibility. I've also been told that it is controling behavior when those who attempt to make someone feel guilty instead of being responsible for their personal behavior. Pretty much...... it's the bank's fault, it's the ex's fault, it's the lawyer's fault, it's the judge's fault, it's CSE's fault....... seems to be a recurring theme. About five months ago it was suggested to me to read a book. The title was "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting." It is written by Lynn Grabhorn. I purchased the book and read it as often as I could just to turn around and share what I got out of the book with the person who suggested it. I found the book to be revelent in everyone's lives as it speaks of the possibilities when you think positively versus negatively. It talks about blaiming and how blaiming only brings negative rather than positive outcome. I suggest anyone who has an open mind, and heart, to read the book. There is some dry humor in the book, but it has helped me to remain calm and not let go of my positive thoughts (wants) even during the most undesirable situations. Thanks, Tracy - I'll have to check it out. Tracy |
#264
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
"DB" wrote in message
om... "Tracy" wrote in Pretty much...... it's the bank's fault, it's the ex's fault, it's the lawyer's fault, it's the judge's fault, it's CSE's fault....... seems to be a recurring theme. About five months ago it was suggested to me to read a book. The title was "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting." It is written by Lynn Grabhorn. I purchased the book and read it as often as I could just to turn around and share what I got out of the book with the person who suggested it. I found the book to be revelent in everyone's lives as it speaks of the possibilities when you think positively versus negatively. It talks about blaiming and how blaiming only brings negative rather than positive outcome. Hello DB I guess woudl should all be too happy to take respocibility for our ****ups and be glad to pay the $1200/mth that the government has set forth. I need you to clarify your statement above. I guess we could have all sat back and waited for the Nazies to arrive at our borders and let them dictate a way of life for us. What was that famous American saying, "Give me Liberty or Give me Death"? I invite you to read about Godwin's Law at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law. Read the first sentence under "Corollaries and usage". In another post you've mentioned being deported. When I read your posts you seem uptight and angry. I don't understand why you stay in a country where you are so unhappy. I don't know what you want, but I can say this... expectations will only lead to disappointment. I feel I have more confidence in my ability to remain level-headed through life since I started to view things differently, and I'm open to sharing ideas. If you want my input on anything you are going through feel free to start a new thread and provide me with what you want, rather than your experiences & don't wants. Thanks, Tracy |
#265
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
Moon Shyne wrote: "Assumed" wrote in message oups.com... DB wrote: "Moon Shyne" wrote in Only AFTER you have spent 100% of the amount paid by the father. Since the amount I receive is far less than 50% of the actual costs incurred in supporting and raising the children, it's only common sense that 100% of what he sends is spent on them. You've already acknowledge that you receive half of a $1000/month. I would be interested to see your version of how much is directly spent on your children. Give us actual dollar fugures so we can judge for ourselves if you are burdened with expensis you cannot afford on your own. Perhaps common sense isn't your strong suit? Perhaps budgeting is not your strong suit or maybe you are just cheap! The 50 percent spent on the child argument lacks a bit of insight. I consider that mothers, many at the least, do indeed spend as much money as they can on their children - EVEN though I've yet to meet a CP who tracked how much she DID spend. Here is the rub. A good mother will ALWAYS spend just a bit more than she can afford on her children. A good father rarely will. When the couple are together, it is usually the father that is the moderating influence on how much is spent on the children. When the money is an object of the court's directive, the mother will AGAIN spend a bit more than she can afford, but it is half the father's money, the money that in another time and place he would have curbed. So, it has been my experience that a mother, getting decent support will turn away from tennis shoes at Walmart and go for the Adidas or the Nikes BECAUSE she can. SHE is the purse holder now and no one, not the father or even the courts can tell her what how to manage her money. It will ALWAYS cost more to raise a child than a mother has but it will also ALWAYS cost more to raise a child than a mother has, no matter how much she DOES have. Many will say "what difference does this make, so long as the child is taken care of? Why be prudent with the children's money? after all, it is being spent on the children." The answer is that there is a mindset that if the child support money is not spent on the children immediately, there is something wrong. When "extra" expenses crop up, such as out of pocket medical, a child's first used car, or....College then there isn't enough money because none was saved out for these things. The mother was being as extravagant as possible in the moment. Rather than rely on that money as TRUELY for the children, in other words a portion of it SAVED for the children - it is all spent as quickly as it is gotten, the mother complaining that it isn't really enough. In the end, it is the paying NCP that is asked to pay yet again for the lack of fiscal constraint on the CP's part. These assumptions on my part can be easily demonstrated btw. Assume this, Leonard. My child incurred thousands of dollars in medical bills (after the insurance coverage, insurance that I solely provide) after sustaining an injury 7 months ago. Every bill has been paid off in full. My children have not one, but two college trust funds (each), even though college is still years off. You paint all custodial mothers with the same brush, when all people are different. Your prejudices are distasteful. Leonard Good for you. How much have you in those accounts? Yes, I am prejudice but if you will read the entire description I lay out a sort of mother who takes her responsabilites seriously. I simply see many of them as being very short sighted. Leonard |
#266
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
Bob Whiteside wrote: "Assumed" wrote in message oups.com... DB wrote: "Moon Shyne" wrote in Only AFTER you have spent 100% of the amount paid by the father. Since the amount I receive is far less than 50% of the actual costs incurred in supporting and raising the children, it's only common sense that 100% of what he sends is spent on them. You've already acknowledge that you receive half of a $1000/month. I would be interested to see your version of how much is directly spent on your children. Give us actual dollar fugures so we can judge for ourselves if you are burdened with expensis you cannot afford on your own. Perhaps common sense isn't your strong suit? Perhaps budgeting is not your strong suit or maybe you are just cheap! The 50 percent spent on the child argument lacks a bit of insight. I consider that mothers, many at the least, do indeed spend as much money as they can on their children - EVEN though I've yet to meet a CP who tracked how much she DID spend. Here is the rub. A good mother will ALWAYS spend just a bit more than she can afford on her children. A good father rarely will. I find this statement highly objectionable becasue it is not based on factual reality. CS guideline models follow the Department of Agriculure's lead and factor in an additional amount (the government says it is 24%) as an add-on for expenditures on children in a single family household to increase the expenditures on children above those made in mother-father intact households. But fathers typically pay more than 50% of the guideline amount. That means fathers pay a greater share of the percentage add-on which means they pay more than just the average coast of raising a child. The guidelines are constructed using data from intact familes so they never consider what a father spends for providing a place for children to visit, the food they eat, extra entertainment, etc. Studies in Arizona have shown the costs that travel with the children are around 27%. A fathers pays these expenses over and above his CS obligation that covers the children being with the mother 100% of the time. Putting those three factors together, fathers will ALWAYS spend more than their share on his children. When the couple are together, it is usually the father that is the moderating influence on how much is spent on the children. When the money is an object of the court's directive, the mother will AGAIN spend a bit more than she can afford, but it is half the father's money, the money that in another time and place he would have curbed. This doesn't make sense. If an order is split on average 60-65% for the father and 35-40% for the mother, the mother would have to spend her court ordered amount plus an additional 50% more out of her won money to reach the father's share of the order. So, it has been my experience that a mother, getting decent support will turn away from tennis shoes at Walmart and go for the Adidas or the Nikes BECAUSE she can. SHE is the purse holder now and no one, not the father or even the courts can tell her what how to manage her money. She can also use the money to buy expensive booze, drugs, and support a boyfriend. If single mothers don't keep track of how they spend their money how can anyone know how they spend their money? It will ALWAYS cost more to raise a child than a mother has but it will also ALWAYS cost more to raise a child than a mother has, no matter how much she DOES have. The cost of raising a children is calculated based on income ranges before it is spread across various spending categories. Expenditures on children are based on what money is available not how much is spent. Many will say "what difference does this make, so long as the child is taken care of? Why be prudent with the children's money? after all, it is being spent on the children." The answer is that there is a mindset that if the child support money is not spent on the children immediately, there is something wrong. When "extra" expenses crop up, such as out of pocket medical, a child's first used car, or....College then there isn't enough money because none was saved out for these things. The mother was being as extravagant as possible in the moment. Rather than rely on that money as TRUELY for the children, in other words a portion of it SAVED for the children - it is all spent as quickly as it is gotten, the mother complaining that it isn't really enough. In the end, it is the paying NCP that is asked to pay yet again for the lack of fiscal constraint on the CP's part. These assumptions on my part can be easily demonstrated btw. I challenge you to demonstrate your conclusions. I meant voluntarily, not by order of the court. I agree and appreciate that what the court demands is rarely equitable. Leonard |
#267
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
"Tracy" wrote in message Pretty much...... it's the bank's fault, it's the ex's fault, it's the lawyer's fault, it's the judge's fault, it's CSE's fault....... seems to be a recurring theme. Hello DB I guess woudl should all be too happy to take respocibility for our ****ups and be glad to pay the $1200/mth that the government has set forth. I need you to clarify your statement above. I get the feeling that some people think that us so called deadbeads should just laydown and let the Government walk all over us. Just because we can't afford the CS rates the State sets, it's no reason to criminalize people for being poor, and yes, I am part of the working poor. Some people think we complain a little too much on this forum, but those same people are not threatened by big government's campaign to put people in prison for not having enough money to pay the extortionate CS rates. I guess we could have all sat back and waited for the Nazies to arrive at our borders and let them dictate a way of life for us. What was that famous American saying, "Give me Liberty or Give me Death"? I invite you to read about Godwin's Law at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law. Read the first sentence under "Corollaries and usage". Thanks! Nazi is the first thing that comes to people's mind in describing the worst possible thing that revolts them. Can you tell me how the American Government is any different from Nazi Germany when they imprisoned a designated segment of it's citizens? Can you think of anything more politically revolting than a government jailing people over a money issue? |
#268
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C$ paid, yet Judge orders prison time for not paying child support..??
"Assumed" wrote in message oups.com... Moon Shyne wrote: "Assumed" wrote in message oups.com... DB wrote: "Moon Shyne" wrote in Only AFTER you have spent 100% of the amount paid by the father. Since the amount I receive is far less than 50% of the actual costs incurred in supporting and raising the children, it's only common sense that 100% of what he sends is spent on them. You've already acknowledge that you receive half of a $1000/month. I would be interested to see your version of how much is directly spent on your children. Give us actual dollar fugures so we can judge for ourselves if you are burdened with expensis you cannot afford on your own. Perhaps common sense isn't your strong suit? Perhaps budgeting is not your strong suit or maybe you are just cheap! The 50 percent spent on the child argument lacks a bit of insight. I consider that mothers, many at the least, do indeed spend as much money as they can on their children - EVEN though I've yet to meet a CP who tracked how much she DID spend. Here is the rub. A good mother will ALWAYS spend just a bit more than she can afford on her children. A good father rarely will. When the couple are together, it is usually the father that is the moderating influence on how much is spent on the children. When the money is an object of the court's directive, the mother will AGAIN spend a bit more than she can afford, but it is half the father's money, the money that in another time and place he would have curbed. So, it has been my experience that a mother, getting decent support will turn away from tennis shoes at Walmart and go for the Adidas or the Nikes BECAUSE she can. SHE is the purse holder now and no one, not the father or even the courts can tell her what how to manage her money. It will ALWAYS cost more to raise a child than a mother has but it will also ALWAYS cost more to raise a child than a mother has, no matter how much she DOES have. Many will say "what difference does this make, so long as the child is taken care of? Why be prudent with the children's money? after all, it is being spent on the children." The answer is that there is a mindset that if the child support money is not spent on the children immediately, there is something wrong. When "extra" expenses crop up, such as out of pocket medical, a child's first used car, or....College then there isn't enough money because none was saved out for these things. The mother was being as extravagant as possible in the moment. Rather than rely on that money as TRUELY for the children, in other words a portion of it SAVED for the children - it is all spent as quickly as it is gotten, the mother complaining that it isn't really enough. In the end, it is the paying NCP that is asked to pay yet again for the lack of fiscal constraint on the CP's part. These assumptions on my part can be easily demonstrated btw. Assume this, Leonard. My child incurred thousands of dollars in medical bills (after the insurance coverage, insurance that I solely provide) after sustaining an injury 7 months ago. Every bill has been paid off in full. My children have not one, but two college trust funds (each), even though college is still years off. You paint all custodial mothers with the same brush, when all people are different. Your prejudices are distasteful. Leonard Good for you. How much have you in those accounts? That's really none of your busines.... The college trust funds were set up when each of my children was born. Yes, I am prejudice but if you will read the entire description I lay out a sort of mother who takes her responsabilites seriously. I simply see many of them as being very short sighted. Just as there are any number of fathers who are very short sighted. Leonard |
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