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Driving in the car with Grandma
On Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:07:11 -0400, Ericka Kammerer
wrote: Nan wrote: On Fri, 11 Jul 2008 09:47:34 -0400, Ericka Kammerer wrote: Um, Mom is not doing Grandma a favor by allowing Grandma to sit. Grandma is doing *Mom* a favor. Just because you love your grandkids doesn't mean regular babysitting isn't work. Really? It's not a favor or a gift? Gee, when I'd pick up my ds and my mom would say, "thanks for letting me have him over" I guess she shouldn't have felt that way. No, it is not a favor or a gift to allow your mother to babysit. It is a gracious thing to enable a relationship between your children and their grandparents, but that can be done without imposing on the grandparents for babysitting services. Taking care of an 11mo is *work*. Changing diapers, fixing meals, cleaning up, soothing when fussy, etc. take time and effort. The fun bit is bouncing the baby and then handing him to his parents when he gets fussy, or feeding him the treats while his parents get him to eat his broccoli, or playing peekaboo but handing him back when he needs a diaper change. Do you really believe that your mom found babysitting all fun and no work? I think it's more likely that it was work at times (and maybe even more than she bargained for some days), but that she was pleased to be able to offer her daughter some respite and build a relationship with her grandchild. Would you have expected her to say, "I enjoyed the bouncing and the peekaboo, but not so much the diaper changing or cleaning the spitup or the half hour he fussed and nothing seemed to soothe him?" When I sit for a friend or family member, I'll tell them it was fun and I enjoyed it as well. That's partly because I do enjoy building a relationship with the child, but it's also because I chose to do a favor for the adult so that they could attend to their business without worrying. Complaining about the work would only make them feel guilty, which is not my goal. I know for sure that when my mother takes my kids it is sometimes an inconvenience and sometimes a royal pain. She does it because she loves my kids and because she loves me and because we're family and help each other (and that's a two way street). I know that she doesn't always tell me about the rough bits, and I don't tell her when her dogs are a pain in the patoot to sit for either. Why would either of us ruin a good favor by whining about it? Best wishes, Ericka My point is, I never whined nor did my mom. You read waaaay too much into some posts sometimes Ericka. Nan |
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