Boy/Girl Anatomy - Ack! They are asking!!!

"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Oh, no, I was totally being sarcastic, looneybird!!
Why do we get so uncomfortable about this issue? It's sorta
funny....especially me, with all I went through with IF and everyone and
their brother down in my "privates", LOL, you would think I would have
any easier time saying the actual words!

I know, I went through IF too. Then while you're pregnant, it's more of
the same! FWIW, I really think that when they are older and with Jenna
having her period and all of that... that I'll be just fine discussing all
of this with them. That's what I tell myself anyway lol!

"looneybird" wrote in message
...
"Chotii" wrote in message
.. .

What I've done is have my girls sit down, and I'll move their fingers to
point to various parts of their own anatomy. "

Oh no. Not saying that you're wrong to do it, but it's just not for me.
Thanks for sharing your point of view, though. I'm guessing I just a bit
more uptight than you are lol.

Well, and I am *not* questioning your choice, but I do wonder if you have
ever asked yourself this question: Do I want my children to be 'uptight'
like I am?

See, my husband has a...well, I can only call it a 'phobia of food messes'
because I don't know the official word for it. I mean he basically freaks
out if the kids make a mess with food. His reaction is not all that
different from his reaction to spiders (which is extreme). I have been known
to take him aside and inform him (since they are after all my children too)
that he can have any reaction to food he wants, but if he teaches our kids
to act like that in response to messes, rather than calmly cleaning them up,
I will be Very Very Upset. *His* reaction, which is excessive, is not what
I would call healthy. I do not want it passed on to the kids by example, and
I fully expect him as the adult in the situation to control himself and
teach them appropriate reactions, such as cleaning up their own messes.

I have no idea how you react to the immature sexuality and innocent
questions of children, *but* if it is to get "uptight", then maybe you might
want to think about whether this will be an attitude that is passed on, and
whether that is healthy. What do you mean by "it's not for me?" What
exactly isn't for you? Talking openly about sexual body parts? Or is it
just that they're too young now not to go blurting out about it in public? I
can certainly sympathise. There will, however, be time, when they are older
and have at least a modicum of discretion.

I believe in teaching kids accurate facts about their own bodies, in a
simple, neutral, and safe fashion. (That said, my mother and father taught
me nothing. I learned everything I knew from Reader's Digest Home Health
books we had around the house. And I still haven't directly addressed the
question with my kids about why we had baby #4 - when they asked, we told
them it was a secret - body parts are one thing, adult sexuality is
something else.) I would rather teach my children about their bodies, than
have them learn it from children at school, or playing with the neighbors.
(A friend I went to high school with has a 12 year old son who came home
recently and asked his mother if it was true what he was hearing at school,
that roosters inseminate hens with their beaks, because when they 'tread'
them they hold onto the hen's neck-feathers with their beaks? Of course my
friend set him straight on the facts of chicken sex (though she didn't
use/didn't know the appropriate word 'cloaca'). This is the kind of thing
kids hear at school. This is not what I want my children learning.

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to know
them.

--angela
I

"looneybird" wrote in message
...
"Chotii" wrote in message
.. .

What I've done is have my girls sit down, and I'll move their fingers to
point to various parts of their own anatomy. "

Oh no. Not saying that you're wrong to do it, but it's just not for me.
Thanks for sharing your point of view, though. I'm guessing I just a bit
more uptight than you are lol.

Well, and I am *not* questioning your choice, but I do wonder if you have
ever asked yourself this question: Do I want my children to be 'uptight'
like I am?

See, my husband has a...well, I can only call it a 'phobia of food messes'
because I don't know the official word for it. I mean he basically freaks
out if the kids make a mess with food. His reaction is not all that
different from his reaction to spiders (which is extreme). I have been known
to take him aside and inform him (since they are after all my children too)
that he can have any reaction to food he wants, but if he teaches our kids
to act like that in response to messes, rather than calmly cleaning them up,
I will be Very Very Upset. *His* reaction, which is excessive, is not what
I would call healthy. I do not want it passed on to the kids by example, and
I fully expect him as the adult in the situation to control himself and
teach them appropriate reactions, such as cleaning up their own messes.

I have no idea how you react to the immature sexuality and innocent
questions of children, *but* if it is to get "uptight", then maybe you might
want to think about whether this will be an attitude that is passed on, and
whether that is healthy. What do you mean by "it's not for me?" What
exactly isn't for you? Talking openly about sexual body parts? Or is it
just that they're too young now not to go blurting out about it in public? I
can certainly sympathise. There will, however, be time, when they are older
and have at least a modicum of discretion.

I believe in teaching kids accurate facts about their own bodies, in a
simple, neutral, and safe fashion. (That said, my mother and father taught
me nothing. I learned everything I knew from Reader's Digest Home Health
books we had around the house. And I still haven't directly addressed the
question with my kids about why we had baby #4 - when they asked, we told
them it was a secret - body parts are one thing, adult sexuality is
something else.) I would rather teach my children about their bodies, than
have them learn it from children at school, or playing with the neighbors.
(A friend I went to high school with has a 12 year old son who came home
recently and asked his mother if it was true what he was hearing at school,
that roosters inseminate hens with their beaks, because when they 'tread'
them they hold onto the hen's neck-feathers with their beaks? Of course my
friend set him straight on the facts of chicken sex (though she didn't
use/didn't know the appropriate word 'cloaca'). This is the kind of thing
kids hear at school. This is not what I want my children learning.

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to know
them.

--angela
I

"looneybird" wrote in message
...
"Chotii" wrote in message
.. .

What I've done is have my girls sit down, and I'll move their fingers to
point to various parts of their own anatomy. "

Oh no. Not saying that you're wrong to do it, but it's just not for me.
Thanks for sharing your point of view, though. I'm guessing I just a bit
more uptight than you are lol.

Well, and I am *not* questioning your choice, but I do wonder if you have
ever asked yourself this question: Do I want my children to be 'uptight'
like I am?

See, my husband has a...well, I can only call it a 'phobia of food messes'
because I don't know the official word for it. I mean he basically freaks
out if the kids make a mess with food. His reaction is not all that
different from his reaction to spiders (which is extreme). I have been known
to take him aside and inform him (since they are after all my children too)
that he can have any reaction to food he wants, but if he teaches our kids
to act like that in response to messes, rather than calmly cleaning them up,
I will be Very Very Upset. *His* reaction, which is excessive, is not what
I would call healthy. I do not want it passed on to the kids by example, and
I fully expect him as the adult in the situation to control himself and
teach them appropriate reactions, such as cleaning up their own messes.

I have no idea how you react to the immature sexuality and innocent
questions of children, *but* if it is to get "uptight", then maybe you might
want to think about whether this will be an attitude that is passed on, and
whether that is healthy. What do you mean by "it's not for me?" What
exactly isn't for you? Talking openly about sexual body parts? Or is it
just that they're too young now not to go blurting out about it in public? I
can certainly sympathise. There will, however, be time, when they are older
and have at least a modicum of discretion.

I believe in teaching kids accurate facts about their own bodies, in a
simple, neutral, and safe fashion. (That said, my mother and father taught
me nothing. I learned everything I knew from Reader's Digest Home Health
books we had around the house. And I still haven't directly addressed the
question with my kids about why we had baby #4 - when they asked, we told
them it was a secret - body parts are one thing, adult sexuality is
something else.) I would rather teach my children about their bodies, than
have them learn it from children at school, or playing with the neighbors.
(A friend I went to high school with has a 12 year old son who came home
recently and asked his mother if it was true what he was hearing at school,
that roosters inseminate hens with their beaks, because when they 'tread'
them they hold onto the hen's neck-feathers with their beaks? Of course my
friend set him straight on the facts of chicken sex (though she didn't
use/didn't know the appropriate word 'cloaca'). This is the kind of thing
kids hear at school. This is not what I want my children learning.

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to know
them.

--angela
I

Good point Megan. You would think after birthing these guys that private
areas of our bodies aren't so private anymore. I remember looking up at one
point while pushing out my twins to see about 10 nurses lined up along the
wall watching. They hadn't seen twins born at that hospital in awhile! Also
the countless nursing sessions over the years with my breasts hanging out in
the public eye.

I don't think 'pee pee' is bad at all. It would just confused my kids,
however, because that's what we call what comes out! We haven't introduced
the word urine yet. : )
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Oh, no, I was totally being sarcastic, looneybird!!
Why do we get so uncomfortable about this issue? It's sorta
funny....especially me, with all I went through with IF and everyone and
their brother down in my "privates", LOL, you would think I would have
any easier time saying the actual words!

Megan~
Mommy to
Aidan & Alexis born 9/28/02
Twin Angels..
baby boy 6/20/01 (18 weeks)
baby girl 7/1/01 (20 weeks)

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

Good point Megan. You would think after birthing these guys that private
areas of our bodies aren't so private anymore. I remember looking up at one
point while pushing out my twins to see about 10 nurses lined up along the
wall watching. They hadn't seen twins born at that hospital in awhile! Also
the countless nursing sessions over the years with my breasts hanging out in
the public eye.

I don't think 'pee pee' is bad at all. It would just confused my kids,
however, because that's what we call what comes out! We haven't introduced
the word urine yet. : )
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Oh, no, I was totally being sarcastic, looneybird!!
Why do we get so uncomfortable about this issue? It's sorta
funny....especially me, with all I went through with IF and everyone and
their brother down in my "privates", LOL, you would think I would have
any easier time saying the actual words!

Megan~
Mommy to
Aidan & Alexis born 9/28/02
Twin Angels..
baby boy 6/20/01 (18 weeks)
baby girl 7/1/01 (20 weeks)

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

Good point Megan. You would think after birthing these guys that private
areas of our bodies aren't so private anymore. I remember looking up at one
point while pushing out my twins to see about 10 nurses lined up along the
wall watching. They hadn't seen twins born at that hospital in awhile! Also
the countless nursing sessions over the years with my breasts hanging out in
the public eye.

I don't think 'pee pee' is bad at all. It would just confused my kids,
however, because that's what we call what comes out! We haven't introduced
the word urine yet. : )
--
Erin
Morgan and Megan 2/15/97
Evan 5/14/00

"Megan Byrne" wrote in message
...
Oh, no, I was totally being sarcastic, looneybird!!
Why do we get so uncomfortable about this issue? It's sorta
funny....especially me, with all I went through with IF and everyone and
their brother down in my "privates", LOL, you would think I would have
any easier time saying the actual words!

Megan~
Mommy to
Aidan & Alexis born 9/28/02
Twin Angels..
baby boy 6/20/01 (18 weeks)
baby girl 7/1/01 (20 weeks)

www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/aidannalexis

"Chotii" wrote in message
...

Well, and I am *not* questioning your choice, but I do wonder if you have
ever asked yourself this question: Do I want my children to be 'uptight'
like I am?

Let me try to say it again so I can make myself clear... It's talking about
this stuff to *four* year olds that has me "uptight". I'm not uptight on
issues of sexuality per se, I simply don't feel it's appropriate at this
age. Also, I don't feel that what my daughter is asking me is "sexual"
necessarily. She's not asking me where babies come from, or how babies are
made, and she is *not* pointing to her vagina and asking what it is. She's
asking me what (where her urine comes from) is called.

I have no idea how you react to the immature sexuality and innocent
questions of children, *but* if it is to get "uptight", then maybe you
might
want to think about whether this will be an attitude that is passed on,
and
whether that is healthy.

I obviously have given the impression that I'm some kind of freak! No, I
don't get uptight when they ask questions of any nature. DH tried to tell
them the other night... something to the effect that they shouldn't ask this
or that. I don't remember exactly now, but it was about the penis, blah,
blah "I have one, you don't..." Later, when the kids were in bed and we
were discussing it, I told him that I never, ever want the kids to feel that
any topic is taboo, dirty, or that they should feel uncomfortable in any way
asking us and discussing it. I think I am very open (somewhat modest,
yes... but not freakishly so), but just not at 4 years of age. I will state
again that I feel we are talking about urination and urination body parts...
to me that is not sexuality... not yet at least. I just want to keep them
innocent for a while longer and find good ways to label the parts that they
are asking about.

What do you mean by "it's not for me?" What
exactly isn't for you? Talking openly about sexual body parts?

No.

Or is it just that they're too young now not to go blurting out about it
in public? I
can certainly sympathise.

Not that they are too young in regards to blurting *anything* out... that
they are too young to know about anything more than where they urinate from,
or defecate from... I do not feel that they need to know at this age about
menstruation, where *exactly" babies come from, etc.

There will, however, be time, when they are older
and have at least a modicum of discretion.

Again, not a concern for me. I just think that they are little children...
and yes, I absolutely understand and agree that little children are sexual
beings. But, that doesn't mean they are ready for cold hard facts... yet.

I believe in teaching kids accurate facts about their own bodies, in a
simple, neutral, and safe fashion.

I totally agree... when they are a bit older.

(That said, my mother and father taught
me nothing. I learned everything I knew from Reader's Digest Home Health
books we had around the house.

You might find it ironic that my mother in particular was a very "cool mom".
To the point that when I wanted to wear a tampon and was having trouble
getting it right, she showed me on herself. I wouldn't say at all that she
was too free or informed me too much. I admire her for being there for me
in that way and think I will be a similar mother to my daughter in the
future... A lot of my friends thought that was just "so gross", but I think
it was very brave of her. I never had a problem going to my parents about
sexual or health issues. I just think right now (at the age of 4) it is
premature.

(A friend I went to high school with has a 12 year old son who came home
recently and asked his mother if it was true what he was hearing at
school,
that roosters inseminate hens with their beaks, because when they 'tread'
them they hold onto the hen's neck-feathers with their beaks? Of course
my
friend set him straight on the facts of chicken sex (though she didn't
use/didn't know the appropriate word 'cloaca'). This is the kind of thing
kids hear at school. This is not what I want my children learning.

Me either.

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to
know
them.

I'd like to know them too... a little later when my kids are say, 8? Maybe
earlier if the situation presents and I feel it's appropriate. For now, I'm
still just talking about how to address the female urethra.

That said, I'm starting to feel a little stupid... like I've really made
myself out to be some sort of weirdo mommy... anyone remember the mom from
the movie "Carrie"? She called Carrie's breasts "Dirty Pillows"! I'm not
*that* bad wink!

Lynn (exhausted from typing and feeling way misunderstood!)

"Chotii" wrote in message
...

Well, and I am *not* questioning your choice, but I do wonder if you have
ever asked yourself this question: Do I want my children to be 'uptight'
like I am?

Let me try to say it again so I can make myself clear... It's talking about
this stuff to *four* year olds that has me "uptight". I'm not uptight on
issues of sexuality per se, I simply don't feel it's appropriate at this
age. Also, I don't feel that what my daughter is asking me is "sexual"
necessarily. She's not asking me where babies come from, or how babies are
made, and she is *not* pointing to her vagina and asking what it is. She's
asking me what (where her urine comes from) is called.

I have no idea how you react to the immature sexuality and innocent
questions of children, *but* if it is to get "uptight", then maybe you
might
want to think about whether this will be an attitude that is passed on,
and
whether that is healthy.

I obviously have given the impression that I'm some kind of freak! No, I
don't get uptight when they ask questions of any nature. DH tried to tell
them the other night... something to the effect that they shouldn't ask this
or that. I don't remember exactly now, but it was about the penis, blah,
blah "I have one, you don't..." Later, when the kids were in bed and we
were discussing it, I told him that I never, ever want the kids to feel that
any topic is taboo, dirty, or that they should feel uncomfortable in any way
asking us and discussing it. I think I am very open (somewhat modest,
yes... but not freakishly so), but just not at 4 years of age. I will state
again that I feel we are talking about urination and urination body parts...
to me that is not sexuality... not yet at least. I just want to keep them
innocent for a while longer and find good ways to label the parts that they
are asking about.

What do you mean by "it's not for me?" What
exactly isn't for you? Talking openly about sexual body parts?

No.

Or is it just that they're too young now not to go blurting out about it
in public? I
can certainly sympathise.

Not that they are too young in regards to blurting *anything* out... that
they are too young to know about anything more than where they urinate from,
or defecate from... I do not feel that they need to know at this age about
menstruation, where *exactly" babies come from, etc.

There will, however, be time, when they are older
and have at least a modicum of discretion.

Again, not a concern for me. I just think that they are little children...
and yes, I absolutely understand and agree that little children are sexual
beings. But, that doesn't mean they are ready for cold hard facts... yet.

I believe in teaching kids accurate facts about their own bodies, in a
simple, neutral, and safe fashion.

I totally agree... when they are a bit older.

(That said, my mother and father taught
me nothing. I learned everything I knew from Reader's Digest Home Health
books we had around the house.

You might find it ironic that my mother in particular was a very "cool mom".
To the point that when I wanted to wear a tampon and was having trouble
getting it right, she showed me on herself. I wouldn't say at all that she
was too free or informed me too much. I admire her for being there for me
in that way and think I will be a similar mother to my daughter in the
future... A lot of my friends thought that was just "so gross", but I think
it was very brave of her. I never had a problem going to my parents about
sexual or health issues. I just think right now (at the age of 4) it is
premature.

(A friend I went to high school with has a 12 year old son who came home
recently and asked his mother if it was true what he was hearing at
school,
that roosters inseminate hens with their beaks, because when they 'tread'
them they hold onto the hen's neck-feathers with their beaks? Of course
my
friend set him straight on the facts of chicken sex (though she didn't
use/didn't know the appropriate word 'cloaca'). This is the kind of thing
kids hear at school. This is not what I want my children learning.

Me either.

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to
know
them.

I'd like to know them too... a little later when my kids are say, 8? Maybe
earlier if the situation presents and I feel it's appropriate. For now, I'm
still just talking about how to address the female urethra.

That said, I'm starting to feel a little stupid... like I've really made
myself out to be some sort of weirdo mommy... anyone remember the mom from
the movie "Carrie"? She called Carrie's breasts "Dirty Pillows"! I'm not
*that* bad wink!

Lynn (exhausted from typing and feeling way misunderstood!)

"Chotii" wrote in message
...

Well, and I am *not* questioning your choice, but I do wonder if you have
ever asked yourself this question: Do I want my children to be 'uptight'
like I am?

Let me try to say it again so I can make myself clear... It's talking about
this stuff to *four* year olds that has me "uptight". I'm not uptight on
issues of sexuality per se, I simply don't feel it's appropriate at this
age. Also, I don't feel that what my daughter is asking me is "sexual"
necessarily. She's not asking me where babies come from, or how babies are
made, and she is *not* pointing to her vagina and asking what it is. She's
asking me what (where her urine comes from) is called.

I have no idea how you react to the immature sexuality and innocent
questions of children, *but* if it is to get "uptight", then maybe you
might
want to think about whether this will be an attitude that is passed on,
and
whether that is healthy.

I obviously have given the impression that I'm some kind of freak! No, I
don't get uptight when they ask questions of any nature. DH tried to tell
them the other night... something to the effect that they shouldn't ask this
or that. I don't remember exactly now, but it was about the penis, blah,
blah "I have one, you don't..." Later, when the kids were in bed and we
were discussing it, I told him that I never, ever want the kids to feel that
any topic is taboo, dirty, or that they should feel uncomfortable in any way
asking us and discussing it. I think I am very open (somewhat modest,
yes... but not freakishly so), but just not at 4 years of age. I will state
again that I feel we are talking about urination and urination body parts...
to me that is not sexuality... not yet at least. I just want to keep them
innocent for a while longer and find good ways to label the parts that they
are asking about.

What do you mean by "it's not for me?" What
exactly isn't for you? Talking openly about sexual body parts?

No.

Or is it just that they're too young now not to go blurting out about it
in public? I
can certainly sympathise.

Not that they are too young in regards to blurting *anything* out... that
they are too young to know about anything more than where they urinate from,
or defecate from... I do not feel that they need to know at this age about
menstruation, where *exactly" babies come from, etc.

There will, however, be time, when they are older
and have at least a modicum of discretion.

Again, not a concern for me. I just think that they are little children...
and yes, I absolutely understand and agree that little children are sexual
beings. But, that doesn't mean they are ready for cold hard facts... yet.

I believe in teaching kids accurate facts about their own bodies, in a
simple, neutral, and safe fashion.

I totally agree... when they are a bit older.

(That said, my mother and father taught
me nothing. I learned everything I knew from Reader's Digest Home Health
books we had around the house.

You might find it ironic that my mother in particular was a very "cool mom".
To the point that when I wanted to wear a tampon and was having trouble
getting it right, she showed me on herself. I wouldn't say at all that she
was too free or informed me too much. I admire her for being there for me
in that way and think I will be a similar mother to my daughter in the
future... A lot of my friends thought that was just "so gross", but I think
it was very brave of her. I never had a problem going to my parents about
sexual or health issues. I just think right now (at the age of 4) it is
premature.

(A friend I went to high school with has a 12 year old son who came home
recently and asked his mother if it was true what he was hearing at
school,
that roosters inseminate hens with their beaks, because when they 'tread'
them they hold onto the hen's neck-feathers with their beaks? Of course
my
friend set him straight on the facts of chicken sex (though she didn't
use/didn't know the appropriate word 'cloaca'). This is the kind of thing
kids hear at school. This is not what I want my children learning.

Me either.

And with all this said, if anybody has any suggestions on how to address
adult sexuality in ways that won't make the kids go EWWW!, I'd love to
know
them.

I'd like to know them too... a little later when my kids are say, 8? Maybe
earlier if the situation presents and I feel it's appropriate. For now, I'm
still just talking about how to address the female urethra.

That said, I'm starting to feel a little stupid... like I've really made
myself out to be some sort of weirdo mommy... anyone remember the mom from
the movie "Carrie"? She called Carrie's breasts "Dirty Pillows"! I'm not
*that* bad wink!

Lynn (exhausted from typing and feeling way misunderstood!)