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Gag of the Week....



 
 
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  #21  
Old October 30th 06, 11:25 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Gag of the Week....(Bonus cos this ones funnier...)



On Oct 30, 11:43*am, "Zorro" wrote:
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the
veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in it's ears and cleaned
both ears and the dog could hear fine.

The vet told the lady if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she
should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub in
the dogs ears once a month.

The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At
the register the druggist tells her "If you're going to use this under
your arms don't use deodorant for a few days."

The lady says "I'm not using it under my arms."

The druggist says "If you're using it on your legs don't shave for a
couple of days."

The lady says "I'm not using it on my legs either, and if
you must know I'm using it on my schnauzer."

The druggist says "Stay off your bicycle for a week."


ROFLMAO!!!!!! That's the first time I ever heard it called that!

  #22  
Old February 26th 07, 12:42 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

A teacher was doing a study testing the taste senses of first graders using
a bowl of lifesavers.

The children began to say:

Red......................Cherry

Yellow................Lemon

Green...................Lime

Orange.................Orange

Finally, the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none
of the children could identify the taste.

"Well," she said, "I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may
sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out, and yelled.

"Oh, my God!! They're ass-holes


  #23  
Old March 4th 07, 03:55 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
'Kate
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 18
Default Gag of the Week...

On Mon, 26 Feb 2007 11:42:34 GMT, "Zorro" wrote:

A teacher was doing a study testing the taste senses of first graders using
a bowl of lifesavers.

The children began to say:

Red......................Cherry

Yellow................Lemon

Green...................Lime

Orange.................Orange

Finally, the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none
of the children could identify the taste.

"Well," she said, "I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may
sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out, and yelled.

"Oh, my God!! They're ass-holes



ewwwww.

  #24  
Old March 28th 07, 01:41 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

A woman standing nude looks in her bedroom mirror and says to her husband

"I feel horrible, I look fat, and I look ugly, pay me a compliment"

The husband replies "Your eye-sight is damn near perfect"

(he never heard the shot)

z
  #25  
Old March 28th 07, 07:05 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Gag of the Week...

On Mar 28, 8:41?am, "Zorro" wrote:
A woman standing nude looks in her bedroom mirror and says to her husband

"I feel horrible, I look fat, and I look ugly, pay me a compliment"

The husband replies "Your eye-sight is damn near perfect"

(he never heard the shot)

z


That's funny...the part about "he never heard the shot" 8-)

Nice to see a familiar name that isn't offering some kind of
sex......what is going on in here?

Bev

  #26  
Old March 29th 07, 12:00 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

On Wednesday 28 March 2007 19:05 Bev scribbled:


Nice to see a familiar name that isn't offering some kind of
sex......


I'm not ? ... uh ... ummmm ;-)

(altho that explains a great deal ... ) ;-)


what is going on in here?


Tis a little quiet aint it ?

z



  #27  
Old March 29th 07, 02:59 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default Gag of the Week...

On Mar 29, 7:00�am, Zorro wrote:
On Wednesday 28 March 2007 19:05 Bev scribbled:



Nice to see a familiar name that isn't offering some kind of
sex......


I'm not ? ... uh ... ummmm *;-)


Well no ....not to me anyway!

(altho that explains a great deal ... ) *;-)

Pot luck on the internet, never know what yer gonna get, kinda like a
box of chocolates.Ya gotta bite 'em to see what's inside! Heh.......
"Forrest Gump"

what is going on in here?


Tis a little quiet aint it ?

z


very quiet and lonely tear

Bev

  #28  
Old April 1st 07, 04:14 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

Pinnochio goes to his maker and says every time he has sex with his
girlfriend she gets splinters

He suggests trying sandpaper.


A couple of weeks go by and he meets his maker again

Where's the girlfriend? the maker asks.


Girlfriend?


GIRLFRIEND ?


Who needs a girlfriend when you've got
sandpaper......................................

--
Zorro


  #29  
Old April 1st 07, 05:47 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

'Kate wrote:



hehe... "woodie" joke.


made me laugh... ;-)


And on a fine sunday morning.


Tis a *Gorgeous* Evening here...

You quiet...

working hard?

--
Zorro


  #30  
Old April 2nd 07, 10:44 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Zorro
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 52
Default Gag of the Week...

'Kate wrote:


getting use to using Pan with Linux (Gnome & KDE packages installed)
I'm still looking for a good web authoring program.


Wow! ... which Distro did you go for ? (Kubuntu here, after many false
starts including suse, mandrake, Red Hat, Gentoo and Caldera, and lately,
mandriva and Ubuntu)


And working hard too. Internship ends May 1st so I have paperwork up the
wazoo. I passed my license exam. All I have to do now is graduate (May
11th), wait for the final license paperwork to be completed, get
malpractice insurance, and find a real job.


Heh ... Real job?... wassat then?


Kids are fine.
Chinchillas are ready for adoption.
House needs attic insulation.


so, set the kids to work insulating the attic with chinchilla fur ...


Other than that... I'm not too busy.


SSHHHhhh


I've been reading a lot lately. I
missed being able to read for pure enjoyment. Three books in three
weeks... a friend sent me the new Richard North Patterson. I am thrilled
to have one that isn't a paperback. I will start it sometime today..


Never heard of 'im, but enjoy...

(hmmm, a quick exercise of google-fu suggests he is in the Grisham
mould ... ??)


you know, after I start laundry for the week. Ewwww.


HaHa ...

oh wait! its monday here too...

awww crap.




--
Zorro


 




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