A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » alt.support » Single Parents
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

When to let kids meet new girlfriend



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old April 24th 07, 12:36 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Strutter
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the
appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and I
have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a
relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting
before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am
dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person
I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My ex wife
has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is
with someone new again. I asked her to please give her relationships time
before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already
wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I crazy for thinking
that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? Am
I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount
of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious?



  #2  
Old April 24th 07, 01:26 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Animal05[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 13
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

Strutter wrote:

Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the
appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and I
have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a
relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting
before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am
dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person
I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My ex wife
has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is
with someone new again. I asked her to please give her relationships time
before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already
wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I crazy for thinking
that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? Am
I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount
of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious?




No, you are not being unreasonable
  #3  
Old April 24th 07, 02:12 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

On Apr 23, 6:36�pm, "Strutter" wrote:
Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the
appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? *My ex and I
have some disagreements about this. *I feel that I should be in a
relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting
before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am
dating. *I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every person
I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. *My ex wife
has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now my ex is
with someone new again. *I asked her to please give her relationships time
before having the person around my daughter, but the new guy is already
wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. *Am I crazy for thinking
that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these guys so quickly? *Am
I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six months or whatever amount
of time it takes to see if the relationship will turn serious?


In my opinion yes, absolutely, parents should wait long enough to get
to know this person much better before subjecting their children to
not only the heartbreak of continous loss and instability created when
the relationship does not last and the child begins to build a
relationship with the person themselves,but very importantly , because
it takes a while to know for sure these people you bring into your
childrens lives will not be a danger to them! You just can not know a
person well enough in less than a year and that may not be enough time
to really be sure things will work out! You are being very responsible
to your childs mental,emotional and physical health ! Your ex wife
should know better, shame on her !

Bev

  #4  
Old April 24th 07, 05:08 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Strutter
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

"'Kate" wrote in message
news
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:

How much child-free and non-work time do you each (the parents) have?


What does that have to do with her introducing my daughter to people on
first dates, etc.? My ex works 30 hrs./week and has family that will take
care of my daughter any time my ex will let them. I don't live close to my
daughter, but I use every minute of three weeks of vacation to see my
daughter. I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in
traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife
introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong
way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting
too long.


  #5  
Old April 24th 07, 05:35 AM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Bev
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 196
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

On Apr 23, 11:08�pm, "Strutter" wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message

news
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:


snipped�
I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in
traveling expenses to be with my daughter. *My 39 year old ex wife
introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the wrong
way a little. *Especially since those relationships don't seem to be lasting
too long.


Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you
posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see
why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in
traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you
are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with
your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own
business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better.


  #6  
Old April 24th 07, 08:37 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Strutter
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

"Bev" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Apr 23, 11:08?pm, "Strutter" wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message

news
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:


snipped?
I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in
traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife
introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the
wrong
way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be
lasting
too long.


Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you
posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see
why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in
traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you
are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with
your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own
business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better.


Honestly, I'm glad that I am able to provide for my daughter, and I didn't
say anything to the contrary. My only point in bringing up the money was to
illustrate that I am being responsible and staying active in my daughter's
life even though I live 1000 miles away. It's difficult. I am concerned
about strange men floating in and out of my daughter's life. I don't care
who my ex dates or how many people she dates, but I have read that young
children tend to love easily and it can be damaging to the child's trust and
ability to form relationships later in life. I don't want that for my
daughter, and she already talks about some of the guys. How do you explain
when Johnny-Come-Lately doesn't come around anymore?

Like I said, I don't care who my ex dates. I have a problem with the fact
that there have been so many lately, and they are all around my daughter. I
don't think it's right, and I don't see how my mention of child support and
traveling expenses changes that fact and turns me into the bad guy. My ex
seems to be on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get
what they want from her. Would you expose your child to that over and over?
I just want her to give a relationship time before my daughter is introduced
into the picture.

Not that it's any of your business, but I am working toward living close to
my daughter. Finding the right job doesn't happen overnight most of the
time. I can't help that they live in an econimically depressed area.




--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

  #7  
Old April 24th 07, 09:12 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
xkatx
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 690
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend


"Strutter" wrote in message
.. .
"Bev" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Apr 23, 11:08?pm, "Strutter" wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message

news
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:


snipped?
I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in
traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife
introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the
wrong
way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be
lasting
too long.


Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you
posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see
why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in
traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you
are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with
your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own
business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better.


Honestly, I'm glad that I am able to provide for my daughter, and I didn't
say anything to the contrary. My only point in bringing up the money was
to illustrate that I am being responsible and staying active in my
daughter's life even though I live 1000 miles away. It's difficult.


I wonder where I put that clipped ad from the paper that said raising
children was easy... Hafta look into that...

I am concerned about strange men floating in and out of my daughter's
life. I don't care who my ex dates or how many people she dates,


Apparently you do. You're not too crazy about your ex, nearing her 50's,
IIRC, dating these younger guys who dump her. (quoted: "My ex seems to be
on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get what they want
from her.")

but I have read that young children tend to love easily and it can be
damaging to the child's trust and ability to form relationships later in
life. I don't want that for my daughter, and she already talks about some
of the guys. How do you explain when Johnny-Come-Lately doesn't come
around anymore?


Maybe you should just sit your daughter down and explain to her that Mommy's
a big, mean jerk and likes to date people that are old enough to be her
father, yet are half her Mommy's age. Explain to her that Mommy just wants
some of these guys for grown up reasons, but her 'boyfriends' only want to
get what they want and move on.

Like I said, I don't care who my ex dates.


Like you did say, apparently you do care whom your ex dates.

I have a problem with the fact that there have been so many lately, and
they are all around my daughter. I don't think it's right,



and I don't see how my mention of child support and traveling expenses
changes that fact and turns me into the bad guy.


You're the one that brought it up. Glorifying child support payments around
here won't get you any hero biscuits, awards or applause.

My ex seems to be on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they
get what they want from her.


B-b-but... I thought you said you didn't care who dates who! You're talking
circles. How do you know she gets dumped after putting out? Or do these
guys want her money... And take it and leave... Or her shoes. Take them and
run. Her time - there's never enough time as it is, those greedy guys!!!

Would you expose your child to that over and over?


I never have and I never will, so this question was an easy one.

I just want her to give a relationship time before my daughter is
introduced into the picture.


If your ex is leading the reckless lifestyle with your daughter, maybe she'd
be willing to let the kid live with you and you can provide a stable home
without people in and out, in and out and your ex can go off living her life
however she wants.

Not that it's any of your business, but I am working toward living close
to my daughter. Finding the right job doesn't happen overnight most of
the time. I can't help that they live in an econimically depressed area.


And I bet they live in an economically depressed area that stretches about
1000 miles every direction from them, right?


  #8  
Old April 24th 07, 09:14 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
xkatx
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 690
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend


"Strutter" wrote in message
...
Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the
appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and
I have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a
relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting
before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am
dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every
person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience. My
ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and now
my ex is with someone new again. I asked her to please give her
relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the
new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am I
crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to these
guys so quickly? Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait six
months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship will
turn serious?


I just noticed this... You put the subject as "When to let kids meet new
girlfriend" yet is this about your girlfriend? Is your ex a lesbian? We've
had a few topics lately on here about bi and heck, I think there was even a
mention or three about quad-gendered or something. Does your ex date
lesbian males who get what they want from her then leave?
I'm a bit of a Confusedasaurus Rex.


  #9  
Old April 24th 07, 09:41 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Strutter
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:rwtXh.22558$j%[email protected]

"Strutter" wrote in message
.. .
"Bev" wrote in message
oups.com...
On Apr 23, 11:08?pm, "Strutter" wrote:
"'Kate" wrote in message

news
On Mon, 23 Apr 2007 18:36:31 -0500, Strutter wrote for all to see:

snipped?
I also pay $8K/year in child support and another $6K/year in
traveling expenses to be with my daughter. My 39 year old ex wife
introducing her 25 year old boyfriends to my daughter just rubs me the
wrong
way a little. Especially since those relationships don't seem to be
lasting
too long.


Ya know......I thought you were thinking of your daughter when you
posted about your ex's introducing her b/f's to the child. Now I see
why your shorts are really in a knot. 8K a year in CS and 6K a year in
traveling expenses does not make up for the limited amount of time you
are spending with your child.Move closer, you can spend more time with
your daughter ,save your 6K in traveling expenses,mind your own
business about who your Ex is dating and you might feel better.




I wonder where I put that clipped ad from the paper that said raising
children was easy... Hafta look into that...

I was referring to the distance issue specifically.

I am concerned about strange men floating in and out of my daughter's
life. I don't care who my ex dates or how many people she dates,


Apparently you do. You're not too crazy about your ex, nearing her 50's,
IIRC, dating these younger guys who dump her. (quoted: "My ex seems to be
on a trend of dating young guys that dump her after they get what they
want from her.")


Okay, I care because of my daughter. If my daughter wasn't involved, then I
wouldn't care at all. Better?

Maybe you should just sit your daughter down and explain to her that
Mommy's a big, mean jerk and likes to date people that are old enough to
be her father, yet are half her Mommy's age. Explain to her that Mommy
just wants some of these guys for grown up reasons, but her 'boyfriends'
only want to get what they want and move on.


I only say positive things about my ex to our daughter.

Like I said, I don't care who my ex dates.


Like you did say, apparently you do care whom your ex dates.


See above.

I have a problem with the fact that there have been so many lately, and
they are all around my daughter. I don't think it's right,



and I don't see how my mention of child support and traveling expenses
changes that fact and turns me into the bad guy.


You're the one that brought it up. Glorifying child support payments
around here won't get you any hero biscuits, awards or applause.


I wasn't glorifying it, and I'm sorry I mentioned it, because it totally
detracted from what I was asking for opinions about. I didn't realize it
was such a touchy issue, and that I would be immediately judged differently
for mentioning a mere number.

B-b-but... I thought you said you didn't care who dates who! You're
talking circles. How do you know she gets dumped after putting out? Or
do these guys want her money... And take it and leave... Or her shoes.
Take them and run. Her time - there's never enough time as it is, those
greedy guys!!!


Like I said, I don't care other than the effect on my daughter. I know she
gets dumped, because I'm the one she calls when she's upset. We do get
along very well, but we strongly disagree on this particular issue. It's
why I came here for opinions. My ex doesn't have any money.

I never have and I never will, so this question was an easy one.


So why are you jumping my case for not wanting my daughter exposed to
certain things?

I just want her to give a relationship time before my daughter is
introduced into the picture.


If your ex is leading the reckless lifestyle with your daughter, maybe
she'd be willing to let the kid live with you and you can provide a stable
home without people in and out, in and out and your ex can go off living
her life however she wants.


My ex lives her life how she wants now.

And I bet they live in an economically depressed area that stretches about
1000 miles every direction from them, right?


Of course not. When the right opportunity opens, then I'll be there.

I only came here looking for honest opinions, whether the same as mine or
not, but it seems to have turned into a personal attack on me. Perhaps I'm
not the best at expressing myself, but I'm the best father I know how to be.



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

  #10  
Old April 24th 07, 11:14 PM posted to alt.support.single-parents
Strutter
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default When to let kids meet new girlfriend

"xkatx" wrote in message
news:rytXh.22559$j%[email protected]

"Strutter" wrote in message
...
Excuse me if this question has been asked before, but when is the
appropriate time to let children meet a person you are dating? My ex and
I have some disagreements about this. I feel that I should be in a
relationship long enough to know that it has the potential to be lasting
before I subject my daughter (6 years old) to meeting the person I am
dating. I don't believe that my daughter should be exposed to every
person I go out with, or her mother, just for a matter of convenience.
My ex wife has dated three different guys over the past five months, and
now my ex is with someone new again. I asked her to please give her
relationships time before having the person around my daughter, but the
new guy is already wanting to go to my daughter's T-Ball games, etc. Am
I crazy for thinking that it's unfair to my daughter to be exposed to
these guys so quickly? Am I unreasonable thinking that my ex should wait
six months or whatever amount of time it takes to see if the relationship
will turn serious?


I just noticed this... You put the subject as "When to let kids meet new
girlfriend" yet is this about your girlfriend? Is your ex a lesbian?
We've had a few topics lately on here about bi and heck, I think there was
even a mention or three about quad-gendered or something.


I was typing quickly and meant to use "girlfriend/boyfriend." Little bit
angry aren't you.

Does your ex date lesbian males who get what they want from her then leave?
I'm a bit of a Confusedasaurus Rex.


You don't have to be ****ed at me because of whatever happened to you. I'm
a good father and a good person.


 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
As if our kids don't have enough crap to deal.. Meet PETA's latest BS story. Dusty Child Support 8 November 29th 05 04:47 AM
My girlfriend asked me udnftrt Pregnancy 2 September 30th 05 08:35 AM
I'm the girlfriend from Florida..please tell me how to drown aWITCH!! [email protected] Child Support 8 October 19th 04 01:58 AM
My Girlfriend Had Her Baby Today! Carol Ann Pregnancy 3 March 14th 04 12:20 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2004-2017 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.