Dad's Day--Letter to the Editor

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases, many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its 2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse, which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father, is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father, stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that "Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6% with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior. And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

In article . net, Phil #3
says...

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
===
You're welcome :-)
===
===

Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

In article . net, Phil #3
says...

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
===
You're welcome :-)
===
===

Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

In article . net, Phil #3
says...

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
===
You're welcome :-)
===
===

Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.

In article . net, Phil #3
says...

Very good, Gini. Thanks from one tired, old dad.
===
You're welcome :-)
===
===

Phil #3

"Gini" wrote in message
...

(OK, here's my ditty [subject to revisions prior to submission, of
course]. The
names have been X-ed to keep all manner of unpleasantries at bay.)
BTW, Happy Father's Day to all the great dads here--And you know who you
are :-)

*******************

It is unfortunate that XXXXX from XXXXX chose the proximity of Father's
Day to
write her letter that clearly gave the impression that fathers are
responsible
for the majority of child abuse cases. In fact, mothers are the
perpetrators in
a significant majority of abuse and neglect cases. And while she chose the
example of the tragic XXXXX fire to bolster her contention, XXXXX failed
to note
that incident was, in fact, one of several cases of child murder in our
region
and in the other cases, the murder was committed by the mother.

While most of us have heard about the Andrea Yates and Susan Young cases,
many
do not realize or wish to face the reality that mothers commit such horrid
acts
against their children. Somehow it seems more palatable if we believe that
fathers are the primary perpetrators. Yet, that mothers are the most
likely
parent to abuse their children is really not a secret. The U.S.
Department of
Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families in its
2000
report "The Risk and Prevention of Maltreatment of Children With
Disabilities"
writes that while children with disabilities are more often victims of
abuse,
"The identity of the perpetrator is similar for children with and without
disabilities. Most abuse is committed by mothers, except for sexual abuse,
which
usually is inflicted by an unrelated male." In fact, a biological father,
is
the least likely perpetrator of child abuse among mother, father,
stepfather. In
its 2002 "Fatalities by Perpetrator Relationship," DHHS reported that
"Mother
Only" murders comprised 32.6% of child murders and "Mother and Other" (non
bio
father) constituted another 9.1% while "Father Only" constituted 16.6%
with
another 1.4% for "Father and Other" (non bio mother). It is this latter
group of
1.4% in which the XXXXX arson case falls.

Still, this is not a victory for dads (not one case of abuse is
acceptable) nor
is it evidence of the parental worthiness of either parent, which must
necessarily be determined on a case by case, gender-neutral, basis. Child
abuse
must be stopped regardless of the abuser's relationship or gender. Yet, we
can
never hope to make progress if we deny the very dynamics of the behavior.
And
while reminders that some mothers murder their children seems
inappropriate for
Mother's Day, it is no more appropriate to celebrate Father's Day with
reminders
that some fathers kill their children.

So, in this proximity to the occasion, I would like to acknowledge that
many
great dads are struggling their way through family courts which still give
mothers custody, even when abuse and neglect are a matter of record. I
would
also like to recognize those dads who have depleted their finances trying
to get
custody/visitation orders enforced because, while states provide legal
assistance for child support enforcement, dads are on their own when
trying to
get "visitation" enforced in a court system that maximizes their role as
wallet
and dismisses their role as nurturer. I would also like to acknowledge
those
fathers who have been wrongly accused of child abuse solely as a tactic to
keep
them out of their children's lives, and have had their lives and finances
turned
upside down trying to defend themselves against such charges. For those
dads who
are fighting every day to be a part of their children's lives and still
find
their arms empty, I wish you the strength to continue the fight and I hope
that
someday your children will understand that it was your love for them that
sustained and drove you.