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New father-to-be to twins...and nerves
Dear Group,
I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question please... My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage - I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff, then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out at 17 weeks. Now... I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too, don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23 weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before? Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice? Thanks in advance Jason in Texas |
#2
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New father-to-be to twins...and nerves
S. L. Richardson wrote:
Dear Group, I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question please... My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage - I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff, then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out at 17 weeks. Now... I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too, don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23 weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before? Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice? I'm not a father but my best advice to you is to educate yourself. That, and support your wife. Don't worry. You'll do fine. :-) -- Brigitte aa #2145 edd #3 February 15, 2004 http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/ "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare." ~ Harriet Martineau |
#3
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New father-to-be to twins...and nerves
Welcome to the group. As a an older mom - we were married quiet a bit
longer than 11 years - closer to 24. We have a ton friends with kids and family with kids etc, etc. No one is totally prepared for the first round. I know we weren't no matter what we thought. I did read a lot and had more than 20 baby/child development books and child psy books from Eric Eriksson to Anna Freud to Sears. I still do things sometimes by the seat of our pants and wing it. One thing I do know for sure is that you learn to read your children. Even having twins, one of ours needs to be directed a bit more than the other and the other is more sensitive than the first. You will learn and do a great job. Mostly because you care and love. Good luck and welcome to the group. Shirley mom to Chris and Kathleen 1/95 PS: We are now minus our great golden retriever who had to be put down this week. She will certainly be missed. I'm so tired of death here. First my dad in February and now the dog. Mom's not doing great either. I have to remember that each is given only as much as one can bear. "Truffles" wrote in message ... S. L. Richardson wrote: Dear Group, I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question please... My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage - I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff, then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out at 17 weeks. Now... I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too, don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23 weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before? Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice? I'm not a father but my best advice to you is to educate yourself. That, and support your wife. Don't worry. You'll do fine. :-) -- Brigitte aa #2145 edd #3 February 15, 2004 http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/ "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare." ~ Harriet Martineau |
#4
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New father-to-be to twins...and nerves
S. L. Richardson wrote:
Dear Group, I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question please... My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage - I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff, then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out at 17 weeks. Now... I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too, don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23 weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before? Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice? Our first daughter (she'll be 5 next week) was born when I was 31 & wife was 25. While I wouldn't say I was panicking, I was pretty anxious about it all. I don't think there's ever such a thing as "being ready" but you'll get it. We went through a parenting class at the hospital a couple of months before the birth that was pretty interesting and helped somewhat. "What to Expect When Your Expecting" helped me as well. Some of the best things I did for my wife was just to be there for her and do as she asked. I explained to my wife that my mind didn't work like hers and sometimes I wouldn't realize when I wasn't helping enough. I made her promise she would ask me for help. Daughters three and four are due late August. It finally sunk in good that we are having twins this weekend when Jackie put both basinettes together and had all of our infant "outfits" laid out on our bed to pick the going-home clothes. I'm really looking forward to them but still nervous. Don't worry, it goes away. -- Robert Hampton Genesis POS http://www.genesispos.com (866) 942-8813 Voice (325) 942-8872 Fax |
#5
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New father-to-be to twins...and nerves
Robert - thanks for the advice. This below sounds like a great idea. It's
true, and simple, too - I know I won't realize it, either, because my life consists now of work, golf, food, sleep, then start all over again. Thus, I'm not used to the work load around the house and caring for newborns. Thanks - Jason I explained to my wife that my mind didn't work like hers and sometimes I wouldn't realize when I wasn't helping enough. I made her promise she would ask me for help. |
#6
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New father-to-be to twins...and nerves
Shirley,
Thanks. I think part of me (the anal retentive part) wants to be prepared for everything. Hearing someone say you can't prepare for it all helps. Jason "Shirley M...have a goodaa \;-)" wrote in message news:5jLNa.113729$R73.12675@sccrnsc04... Welcome to the group. As a an older mom - we were married quiet a bit longer than 11 years - closer to 24. We have a ton friends with kids and family with kids etc, etc. No one is totally prepared for the first round. I know we weren't no matter what we thought. I did read a lot and had more than 20 baby/child development books and child psy books from Eric Eriksson to Anna Freud to Sears. I still do things sometimes by the seat of our pants and wing it. One thing I do know for sure is that you learn to read your children. Even having twins, one of ours needs to be directed a bit more than the other and the other is more sensitive than the first. You will learn and do a great job. Mostly because you care and love. Good luck and welcome to the group. Shirley mom to Chris and Kathleen 1/95 PS: We are now minus our great golden retriever who had to be put down this week. She will certainly be missed. I'm so tired of death here. First my dad in February and now the dog. Mom's not doing great either. I have to remember that each is given only as much as one can bear. "Truffles" wrote in message ... S. L. Richardson wrote: Dear Group, I've been lurking here for awhile now. Go easy on my first question please... My wife and I are expecting twins Nov. 3rd (due date, likely earlier per OBGYN). These will be our first (and last) after 11+ years of marriage - I'm 32, she just turned 32. We both waited to develop our careers - she's an engineer, I'm a tax lawyer/CPA. Always wanted to wait until we could "afford it." Had to do 3+ years of trying, then a year of fertility stuff, then in vitro, then in Feb. they did in vitro for the first time and...voila. March 17th first sonogram. Twins. Boy and girl we found out at 17 weeks. Now... I'm scared. Scared out of my mind. Virtually panicking. Excited, too, don't get me wrong, but pretty freaked out also. My wife will be at 23 weeks on Monday. I realize now how little I know about children and child-rearing. Are there any fathers out here who've been here before? Yikes...terrified here. She's excited, not scared at all, 100% confident and secure in this...journey....we're about to embark upon. So...advice? I'm not a father but my best advice to you is to educate yourself. That, and support your wife. Don't worry. You'll do fine. :-) -- Brigitte aa #2145 edd #3 February 15, 2004 http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/j/joshuaandkaterina/ "Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare." ~ Harriet Martineau |
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