dumb family.. baby shower rant

"Circe" wrote in message
news:PS6%b.2503$id3.676@fed1read01...
Clisby wrote:
You'll need a place for
the baby to sleep - if you're going to co-sleep, that's taken care
of. If not, you'll need a crib/bassinet/extra mattress on the
floor/other.

Actually, I've heard of newborns sleeping quite comfortably in dresser
drawers g.

I was utterly opposed to buying a bassinet for our daughter - I figured that
she could sleep in her crib. And during the newborn days, I was going to
put her in one of those plastic laundry baskets with a pad/towel for a
mattress - I just couldn't see spending the money on something that the
child would use for 2 or 3 months! We finally ended up with a bassinet
because my husband (Mr. Hmm-That-Looks-Good-Let's-Get-It) brought one home
from Target. sigh I still think it was a silly purchase - we ultimately
used it for 6 weeks. shakes head

Shena, there is really very little that you need. Diapers. Onesies.
Receiving blankets. But you REALLY don't need a houseful of stuff.

Hey, totally off topic, but Shena, if you can, do breastfeed. Health (and
figure she said, shallowly grin) considerations aside, it's WAY cheaper
than formula. I was AMAZED at how much formula eats into the shopping
budget when I weaned my daughter. I was really glad I'd nursed her for the
first months.

Donna (who isn't an aquisition-type person, so take the above for what it's
worth)

"Nikki" wrote in message
...

Oh - Check with your hospital or the Department of Social Services for a
car
seat. I was able to rent one for $5 and a $15.00 deposit if IIRC.

Nikki is right. And if you can rent an infant carseat, that is wonderful.
If you cannot, talk to your friends with kids who are past the infant
stage - I bet they'd loan you their infant seats. I loaned mine out twice
in the last year. I'd send it to you, if I weren't expecting. BTW, if
your DSS doesn't rent carseats, check out a local secondhand baby store.
Mine always has a ton of barely-used carseats. (It's where I got mine.)
You can check online to see if the model has been recalled, before buying
it.

Best wishes,

Donna

"Circe" wrote in message
news:PS6%b.2503$id3.676@fed1read01...
Clisby wrote:
You'll need a place for
the baby to sleep - if you're going to co-sleep, that's taken care
of. If not, you'll need a crib/bassinet/extra mattress on the
floor/other.

Actually, I've heard of newborns sleeping quite comfortably in dresser
drawers g.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [23 mos.] mom)


My sister started off in a drawer then got up-graded to a suitcase

On Wed, 25 Feb 2004 11:42:22 -0800, "Circe" wrote:

Clisby wrote:
You'll need a place for
the baby to sleep - if you're going to co-sleep, that's taken care
of. If not, you'll need a crib/bassinet/extra mattress on the
floor/other.

Actually, I've heard of newborns sleeping quite comfortably in dresser
drawers g.

LOL - that's what we did with my DS when we visited my parents this
past Christmas! He slept in the bed with us at night but had naps in
a dresser drawer with a blanket for padding. He loved it because he
felt a bit cozier than in his bassinette at home.

Katie

To get the rest of the stuff I need for baby I will have to a) go around
to various pregnancy aid centers in our area and arrange to borrow the
things I need and b) talk to my ILs who've said they'll buy baby stuff
we need for us. I need *time* to arrange this. I can't do this AFTER I
have the baby. I'll be at home with the baby, sore and exhausted and
caring for a newborn.
I've always felt much better once baby's out. Certainly with #2 I felt
better 1hr afterwards (and more capable of enjoying a party) than the whole
pregnancy.
However, I wouldn't have wanted to have all the shopping after she was born.
Tell them that your ILs will do a party and let them decide whether they
want to do one too.
Debbie

Sophie wrote in message
...

"Circe" wrote in message
news:PS6%b.2503$id3.676@fed1read01...
Clisby wrote:
You'll need a place for
the baby to sleep - if you're going to co-sleep, that's taken care
of. If not, you'll need a crib/bassinet/extra mattress on the
floor/other.

Actually, I've heard of newborns sleeping quite comfortably in dresser
drawers g.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [23 mos.] mom)


My sister started off in a drawer then got up-graded to a suitcase

LOL
Debbie

Sophie wrote:
"Circe" wrote in message
news:PS6%b.2503$id3.676@fed1read01...
Clisby wrote:
You'll need a place for
the baby to sleep - if you're going to co-sleep, that's taken care
of. If not, you'll need a crib/bassinet/extra mattress on the
floor/other.

Actually, I've heard of newborns sleeping quite comfortably in
dresser drawers g.
--
Be well, Barbara
(Julian [6], Aurora [4], and Vernon's [23 mos.] mom)


My sister started off in a drawer then got up-graded to a suitcase

Family Lore has it that my uncle was a preemie born at home. He slept in a
shoe box on the oven door to keep him warm. I'm suspicious because I can't
imagine sitting such a vulnerable infant down but then those were different
times. I suppose the infant was better in a shoe box on the oven door then
drug through a snow bank to use the outhouse ;-)
--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)

"Shena Delian O'Brien" wrote
Yeah maybe I'm spoiled thinking that I have any right to any gas money
from them at all, but I've had calls from my mom and aunt and so forth
all about how they're excited about giving baby this or that thing and
I'll be so happy at the shower etc. etc., snip If they want to give me
baby stuff, that
comes with the stipulation that they do it soon enough for me to allow
for the things they've bought when I plan out getting the rest of the
stuff I need.... is that really unreasonable? ugh...


I understand what you mean. Someone giving you a shower is a nice thing but
I myself have been surprised at how people aren't more thoughtful about
making the shower easier for the pregnant recipient. I had other reasons
also but I have let it be known that I don't want for my SIL to give me a
shower out of town because it will be too taxing on me to travel for it
because of the way I have been feeling and the problems physically I have
had through this pregnancy. One issue was she wanted me to go out of town
for the shower too close to my due date, which is 1- TOO close to my due
date! and 2, the bigger I get, the worse I feel and the more tired, and the
more my hip goes numb and hurts. My morning sickness is coming back and I am
vomiting quite a bit, more so tha I did when I had the really bad nausea. It
just seemed wrong to me, to go where it was convenient for everyone when it
wasn't convenient for my physical condition! I appreciate the thought, but I
had to finally tell them that I can't handle getting out of town for a
weekend trip to the shower- I would have been able to a little ealier. Even
if no one wants to buy the baby stuff outside of a shower, I'll happily get
it myself so as not to have to suffer trying to travel. I just can't believe
that no one seems to care whether the shower was at a time good for me,
lol...oh well...it wouldn't be as big of a deal if I didn't have to be the
one to travel, I could enjoy a shower. but I can't ride sitting in a car for
hours anymore after 15 minutes my hip goes numb and it doesn't matter how I
move or if I get out to stretch my legs.

So I think your situation is the same kind of thing, people shouldn't give
you a shower out of town that they know will be a hardship for you to attend
for whatever reason. It's not an ungrateful or unappreciative opinion to
have, IMO.

Even the local shower, that so many people want to help throw me, I wish
that they would HURRY up and not wait much longer, it's not about the gifts,
it's about how I don't feel well. It is about a 45 minute drive downtown
through city traffic for this shower and they haven't even set a date
yet....I am going to have to drive myself to it which is fine, but I AM
going crazy with my hip going numb whenever I sit in car or am on my feet
etc...I don't want to go to a shower when I am back in fullblown vomiting
and nausea, and feeling crappy. Or too close to my due date because that's
the bigger I'll be and less well I will feel also...

So I think this is understandable....if they are going to throw you a shower
knowing you can't afford the travel they really should try to find some way
to work it out-- bring the shower to you etc. It would be more thoughtful
and easier for you beingf pregnant and all...

It's kinda crappy that you family has seemed to have mucked things up.
But look on the bright side! At the least your family wants to throw
you a baby shower. I'm 29 weeks along with my first baby and my family
doesn't seem interested in throwing me a shower at all which means I'll
have to come up with everything on my own as well. I'll be the first
mom in my family to never have had a baby shower. I'm sure your family
means well. It's just too bad they couldn't have planned it out better.

Hopefully you can work something out with them,

Angela
EDD #1 5/13/04

Shena Delian O'Brien wrote:
Ok so we had a baby shower planned for Feb. 28th. I was to drive 4hrs
south to my sister's house to have the shower. My family was going to
give me gas money to do this cuz they know our situation is pretty
crappy right now.

So Sister A just now tells me she can't afford to send me any money. So
I said what about Sister B.. and she says Sister B said something about
waiting to give me a shower until they come up here when I'm having the
baby. (Sister B had said to let her know when I was dialated to 3cm and
she would fetch my mom and they'd come up here.)

Well hello, can you think of a dumber idea for a shower? What were they
planning on having it in the hospital? And what about the baby stuff
they'll all have collected. Usually you have your shower, count up your
stuff and then go get the stuff you still need for baby, right? Well how
am I supposed to do that if I don't get anything until the day he's
here?? What are they THINKING?

To get the rest of the stuff I need for baby I will have to a) go around
to various pregnancy aid centers in our area and arrange to borrow the
things I need and b) talk to my ILs who've said they'll buy baby stuff
we need for us. I need *time* to arrange this. I can't do this AFTER I
have the baby. I'll be at home with the baby, sore and exhausted and
caring for a newborn. Not only that, but I think my ILs deserve more
than a few hour's notice of what kind of stuff they'll be expected to
provide for the baby! They're going to be paying for things and they
deserve time to budget.

I don't know if Sister A just had her head stuck up her @$$ or what, but
I can't imagine a dumber situation.

I told her this and she's like "oh you're right, give me your address
I'll find you gas money and we'll push the shower off until March 6". I
told her TALK TO SISTER B please (there's no reason why Sister A should
be the only one pitching in here??)... gosh...

Yeah maybe I'm spoiled thinking that I have any right to any gas money
from them at all, but I've had calls from my mom and aunt and so forth
all about how they're excited about giving baby this or that thing and
I'll be so happy at the shower etc. etc., and the only way I can get
down there is if they pitch in and send me gas money! I mean the other
option is for a million people to drive up here to my place! That would
cost a lot more. I'll be 34/35 weeks pregnant and driving 4 hours south
all by myself so I can be with my family and have a party and so forth.

I mean look, if they didn't want to give me anything for the baby, fine.
I'll figure it all out myself. If they want to give me baby stuff, that
comes with the stipulation that they do it soon enough for me to allow
for the things they've bought when I plan out getting the rest of the
stuff I need.... is that really unreasonable? ugh...

Circe wibbled

Actually, I've heard of newborns sleeping quite comfortably in
dresser drawers g.

Mum's sister slept in first a drawer and then a fruit box, in a
succession of homes, until she was nearly 4 (mum shared her mother's
bed until she was nearly 2, and then went into a camp bed with her
sister). My grandparents shared a single bed in a four-bedroom London
house inhabited by 19 other people (9 kids, 10 adults) from mid-1944 to
early-1951. Admittedly Grandad was away at sea for most of the time
between 1938 and July 1947 but my aunt was born in early 1943 and Mum
was born in late 1945. I cannot imagine living for any length of time
in such cramped conditions, let alone conceiving your second child, but
for someone brought up in a three bedroom house with 10 siblings I
guess it's quite bearable!

Jac