A Parenting & kids forum. ParentingBanter.com

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » ParentingBanter.com forum » misc.kids » Pregnancy
Site Map Home Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Rant: Navigating the maze of caregivers and birth choices



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old June 7th 04, 08:12 AM
Jenrose
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Rant: Navigating the maze of caregivers and birth choices

Kat's thread on Will's birth story really got me thinking about the past
couple weeks. You see, with my daughter's hospital birth, I did everything
"right" that I knew about at the time in order to have a positive birth
experience, and to put it bluntly, it sucked. Well, 11 years later, having
taken part in other women's births as a doula, going through childbirth
education, working at a midwifery magazine for 7 1/2 years, you'd think I'd
have it made as to getting things "right", no?

Now, from a purely "technical" standpoint, my daughter's birth was an
uncomplicated, unmedicated, reasonably short birth for a primip in a
hospital with a 90% epidural rate. Pretty damn amazing in some ways. In
other ways, it felt like every scrap of accomodation I asked for I had to
argue for, and while the "letter" of my birth plan was followed, the spirit
of it, and my spirit as well, were violated.

Perhaps the unkindest cut of all was that I told everyone I met that I'd
have a homebirth if I could, and weeks after the birth the midwife who acted
as my labor support said that she had been really prepared to catch my baby
at home. If she'd told me that up front, things might, maybe have been
different. I don't know. I was very attached at that point to the "high
risk" label.

Fast forward. After 6 or so years working for a midwifery magazine, reading
birth story after birth story, talking to women on the phone, etc. I knew
that just because someone wore the title "midwife" did not automatically
make her perfect. Even some of the biggest names in the profession,
nationally, internationally known midwives were starting to sound
medicalized. Like their trust, faith in birth and birthing women had been
broken somewhere and they didn't even know it. I knew that in the next few
years I would be contemplating another birth, and was surprised by the fact
that although I knew many, many midwives, there were very, very few that I
would actually trust in the intimate space that is a homebirth. Not because
I thought they didn't know enough to be good midwives, but that they knew
almost too much to trust me at all.

And the one lesson I learned from my birth with my daughter is that where
birth is concerned, my body *really* knows how to get moving and do what it
has to do.

The first time I heard about unassisted birth, I remember thinking, "How
crazy! Why wouldn't they want the loving support a midwife can provide?"

Then I started reading. And the birth stories told me why.. I told my boss,
"You know, this movement is an indictment of the midwifery community. It's
born out of the same anger the lay midwifery movement of the 70's was born
in, and as long as midwives keep focusing more on 'safety' than sanity, the
unassisted birth movement is going to grow."

Then I kept reading. I read Michel Odent's work on instinctive birthing. His
catch phrase is "do not disturb the mother." But even he has not truly taken
this to the logical extreme.

I joined the yahoo cbirth list and kept reading. I entered the list from a
professional's perspective. But the longer I stayed, the more my perspective
shifted to the question, "What is it that I want from my next birth?"

And I realized that when I was pregnant, I fantasized about birthing alone.
That what Michel was talking about was the fact that a truly undisturbed
mother, a woman who is given the space, darkness, quiet, peace and TRUST
necessary for a birth, will usually birth more easily than someone who is
being closely watched. That women undisturbed will tend to move to
birth-as-reflex, which is about as harmful as a sneeze. That what I really,
really wanted, was a birth where I did not have to argue with anyone, worry
about anything, wonder when I should go or call or do ANYTHING other than
what my instincts to me to do. That I did not want to "plan" a birth,
because planning a birth is like planning an orgasm or planning a sneeze or
planning a hiccup. The more you plan, the more likely it is to surprise you,
not happen or go wrong.

As I got closer to trying to conceive, it became clear to me that it would
be almost impossible with my known risk factors to find an obstetrician who
would take me on, especially since I flat out refuse to plan a hospital
birth. And I'm way out of the comfort range of most midwives, because I am
not technically low risk.

Now keep in mind... my risk factors are all tightly controlled. They are not
risk factors which affect birth so much as pregnancy. They are risk factors
that might mean a smaller baby if I don't control them well, that might mean
miscarriage, that might mean stillbirth. But the only medical treatments
available for the worst of my risk factors carry with them risks that I'm
not willing to take on. I have herbal treatments which, while not as well
"measured" in their effects, are a lot less risky in terms of how they will
affect the birth process. And there are many, many women out there walking
around with very similar problems who don't even know they have those
problems. Maybe those women snore, and get bad hay fever or bronchitis a
lot, and maybe Aunt Mabel died of a stroke at age 40 and Uncle Jim had a
heart attack at age 28. But as far as they know, there's nothing "major"
wrong with them, and they're not treating what in me has been diagnosed as
apnea, asthma and a blood clotting disorder. I do treat and control those
problems very closely, and during pregnancy, my overall risk is not very
elevated. And the risk during birth is no more than my risk during
pregnancy--if my risk factors alone justify hospitalizaiton for birth, then
I ought to be hospitalized for the whole pregnancy--which in itself would
increase my risks for clots, infections and poor sleep. Catch 22, that...

So I decided that I would go for an unassisted pregnancy and birth. I felt
very much at peace with that choice. Then I started to miscarry. Now, keep
in mind that I am NOT basically opposed to all technological assistance. I
simply refuse to have it "routinely" applied for someone else's liability
coverage. I was 7 weeks along, had not even really thought beyond the idea
that, oh, Dr. so and so might be a good choice for backup if necessary. As I
started to get more and more pain that was typical of blood going where it
shouldn't, I realized that I really needed to figure out if the pregnancy
was in the uterus or in the tubes. I knew at that point that the technology
I was comfortable using would be an ultrasound, a rhogam shot, and possibly
a blood test.

So I called my regular doc. No joy. They didn't want to touch me with a
10-foot pole. They referred me to Dr. So and So, who yelled at me at a time
when I was scared to death and *asking* for help. I tried Urgent Care--they
said to go straight to the ER.

I gave up and went to the ER. They were willing to do an ultrasound without
a pelvic (there was NO useful info to be gained from a pelvic) and I refused
a catheter (my bladder was so full when they finally got me up there that I
had to actually "go" a little for them to do the test!). I insisted on
staying to get the rhogam even though they said I should get it at my doc's
the next day, knowing the chances that I would be able to get a rhogam
within the 72 hour window from when I started bleeding were slim to nil
given I had no OB.

Two days later I started calling to see if I could get a follow up blood
tests. I didn't want to be examined. I didn't want to be evaluated, I just
wanted the damn blood test because I would know what it meant either way. It
took at least 4 phone calls at a time when I really didn't want to be on the
phone to finally get a doctor's office to agree to do the test--happened to
be the place I'd gotten my IUD in that finally said, "Yeah, sure!"

The baby came out that night. Complete, no poking, prodding or scraping
needed. The bleeding stopped quickly and getting the test results the next
morning told me everything was done, as the beta had dropped significantly.
When the nurse gave me the results, she asked if I wanted to come in. I
said, "I'd like someone to tell me what I'm seeing, because it doesn't make
sense."

While they could "send the baby to pathology", it wouldn't tell me anything
about what I was looking at. Some midwife friends who are coworkers at the
magazine came over and did what I asked. We figured out what the placenta
was, where the "fetal tissue" was (because it looked nothing like what I
thought it would) and when we were done, I buried the baby in my mother's
herb garden. Couldn't have done that if we'd sent things to pathology.

I realized at that point that I never, ever wanted to have to spend that
much time figuring out logistics when I was scared and in pain. Not ever. So
I embarked on finding the right midwife, so that if I needed to call
someone, I'd know who to call.

My coworkers were not an option, because the relationship was already
established on a different level and I just don't shift gears that easily.
So I called the midwife I'd had with my daughter--she lives 2 hours away.
She suggested one midwife in my town. I called her. The interview was long,
we dredged up all my old birth trauma, all the anguish of the miscarriage,
and then, after all that, she said, "Well, I know that I would insist on
measuring to make sure the baby is growing, listening to the baby to make
sure things are well, and I need to be there at the birth, even if I don't
do anything."

Well, the whole issue for me is not that I will "refuse" to let someone
measure or listen, but that I want to be the one to decide if it's
necessary. If my belly is growing well and I can feel the baby taking up
space, I don't feel a need to use a measuring tape. They're wildly
inaccurate anyway. If I was worried about growth, I'd eat more and probably
measure my belly a few times myself (I know how). But I dont' need someone
else to do that. And if baby is kicking persistantly, I don't need fetal
monitoring, either. I remember moments of extreme irony where a nurse would
be muttering about not getting a good read, and I'd just say, "I know, she
just rolled herself away from the transducer. She's kicking my ribs." I
might *ask* for a midwife to listen if baby wasn't kicking well, or I might
listen myself, but it has to come from me, not someone else's protocols.

And I'm not going to promise to call anyone. If I'm right, then most likely
I will go into labor one night in the quiet dark, or during the day when no
one is home, go into my own little cave and stay there until the baby comes
or I feel like I need someone with me. My dreams for years have been of a
baby coming quickly, quietly and peacefully into the world, and knowing how
fast my daughter's birth went once things were in line (2 1/2 hours from 4
1/2 to complete, 23 minutes pushing, on my back in the worst possible
position.), a well-aligned baby could come very, very fast indeed. And if
it's not fast, not quick, not easy, then yeah, I might well want to call a
midwife in to rub my back just so, give support, monitor if I'm nervous
about something, etc... But I can't promise to call and I'm *surely* not
going to trust someone in my birth space who won't trust me to tell them
when and if I need help. I have this vision of going quietly into my
mother's bathroom one evening and coming out with a baby, saying to my
family, "Um, oops?" But I also know it could take a lot longer, and I might
*want* a whole lot of support.

So I politely told the midwife I didn't think it would work, sent her on her
way, and started down the list of midwives in the area.

The next midwife I talked to mentioned her concerns about liability isues
but wanted to meet with me anyway. I should have listened to my gut on that
one, because the minute she mentioned her license, I thought, "Uh oh..." But
she said she thought we might be able to work together, so I agreed to meet
her, but told her that if she wasn't pretty sure it might work that I dind't
wnat to bother as I was finding the interview process very stressful.

She came over, we talked, though for not as long as I felt from the start of
the phone conversation that this was not the right one... and sure enough,
after we'd talked for a while and she seemed really positive, she popped out
with, "You know, my boundary is that I really need to be at the birth.
Because I would have been a perfect candidate for an unassisted birth, but
if I'd had a UC, my baby would have died because we had a shoulder
dystocia."

Oh hell...I've just miscarried and this woman thinks I need to be reminded
of all the things that can go wrong? I helped put together a book on
shoulder dystocia, darn it. I quit my damn job because I needed to quit look
at all the things that can go wrong. I *KNOW* the risks. I know them very
well. And the, "My baby would have died if I'd done a UC" argument is as
specious as the, "If I had had a homebirth, my baby would have died"
argument. You simply cannot generalize that way. Period. The fact of the
matter is that she has no idea what the hell might have happened if her
midwife had not been there, and in fact, she has no idea if she'd been
planning a UC that something wouldn't have prompted her at some point to
call in help. People are funny that way. You cannot look at a birth after
the fact and say, "If we'd done X, Y would have happened." It just isn't
that simple. I've talked to UC moms who've had shoulder dystocias. By and
large, so to speak, they get their babies out one way or the other. I've
talked to women who've planned UC's, called in help for what seemed like a
minor reason at the time, and then had shoulder dystocias which made the
help very welcome. Her first birth, it took her an hour to push her baby
out, in a homebirth, I assume, in probably a relatively good physiological
position. Turns out the first midwife I interviewed was the midwife at her
birth... no wonder.

My first birth, it took me 23 minutes in a crappy position. You just can't
generalize from one to the next, nor from one woman to another. I know
there's a risk in having an unassisted birth, but there are risks to
hospital birth and assisted birth as well. I need to go for the risks *I* am
willing to bear for the benefits *I* want to see. It's not about what ANYONE
else feels comfortable with. It's about what my husband and I decide is
right for us, the risks we're willing to live with and the risks we're not.
I'm *not* willing to accept the risks of lovenox and induction at 39 weeks
without being acutely ill. Period. I *am* willing to accept the risks of not
doing ultrasound or listening to the baby unless I feel like it's important.
We're the ones who have to live with our choices, so we get to make them.
Period.

I quickly ended that interview, sort of in shock that she'd essentially
misled me so that she could come over and tell me how risky unassisted birth
is at a time when I was already emotionally raw and vulnerable. This is
midwifery?

Another call led me to a midwife who'd had several unassisted births of her
own. Here's hoping this interview goes better. I explained to her some of
the other things that had happened with other interveiws, over the phone,
and she said that her boundaries are not about being there, but about having
full disclosure (um, if I was willing to lie, I'd have a care provider
already...) and a letter on file stating what our expectations and needs
were, and that we understood there could be risks with not following
standard protocols. That's it. Nothing about "needing" to be there. Nothing
about "having" to listen to or measure the baby...she's just asking for
honesty and forthrightness. I have no problem with that.

My next step is to talk to that doctor's office that actually did the tests.
Find out if they can continue to meet me on my terms, as backup. It's
possible, but I'm not holding out great hopes. That said, if I already have
a midwife, then going to the ER is a little simpler as I can say, "I'm
seeing a midwife" and not end up shuffled into the social service's morass
that defines anyone who does not have a care provider as a nut case liable
to dump her baby in a plastic bag somewhere. This time I just said, it's
really early and I hadn't decided on a care provider yet (the truth.)

But the thing that keeps coming back up for me is that there is this
tremendous lipservice paid to "safety"...yet when someone is willing to take
responsibility for their own health and care, then accessing care "for
safety" becomes extraordinarily difficult. For an ultrasound and rhogam
shot, I should NOT have had to spend 6 hours in the ER. I should not have
had to spend 3 hours on the phone to get a simple blood test. This
encourages women to seek help when they feel they need it? I think not. The
focus is not really on safety, you see... not my safety... but on the
doctor's liability...the midwife's license... the hospital's
policies...routine....Why is it that one practice can order a blood test
without a qualm, but another practice requires an office visit? It's not
about *my* safety.

I refuse to be routine. I refuse to do things just because "that's how
they're done."

My body has shown through a birth and a miscarriage alike that it is strong
and capable of doing whatever it needs to do in order to take care of things
as they need to be taken care of. I was thinking about this during the
miscarriage--I was not miscarrying because the placenta was separating--my
body had to very deliberately contract my uterus in such a way as to sheer a
very small placenta off. In a live birth, this happens relatively
simply--the uterus has a baby to push against, the baby's head helps open
the cervix, etc. The placenta sheers off quickly in most cases because with
no baby in the womb, the size changes so radically that it peels off like a
postage stamp. In the miscarriage, the gestational sac took up maybe 1/6th
of the available room in the uterus and was nowhere near my cervix. Truly
there was no weight to pull and no size change to help. My body had to cramp
and cramp HARD for about 14 hours to get the placenta loose. It took 10
hours of little contractions to open up my uterus enough to let the baby
out, and that was just when I was awake. But my body DID those things, which
are, in their own way, more challenging than giving birth, where the baby's
size and weight serve to help with the process. And with giving birth, my
body contracted to move my daughter into a better position, then just opened
up and pushed her out. All I really had to do was stay upright and walk
through the contractions. My body took care of the rest very competently.

In the ER, they routinely do pelvics for threatened miscarriages. WHY? I can
tell them I'm bleeding and cramping. At that point, my cervix was hard and
closed, I could tell them that, too. Later it was open and soft--I know the
difference! I asked what information the doctor would get out of it, and he
sort of blinked and said, "We just always do them. But if you don't want
one, we don't have to do it."

Then they wanted to do a catheter for the ultrasound. Why? I can fill my
bladder in about 15 minutes. They're going to do a catheter on someone
threatening a miscarriage? When I get bladder infections easily from
catheters? He said, "What they do and what makes sense are two different
things."

I responded, "And that's why I will never plan another hospital birth."

Because I don't want to argue common sense against hospital policies, not
ever again. And especially not when I'm in labor.

Because in labor, I will eat when I am hungry and drink when I am thirsty.
In labor, I will only allow monitoring if *I* have a question about how the
baby's doing.
In labor, I will not get on the bed just so someone else can stick their
fingers in my crotch to check to see if I'm dilating. I had no exams between
4 1/2 cm and complete, and I got there anyway. Vaginal exams don't help get
the baby out, they just give a couple trivial pieces of informaiton about
something that is dynamic and can change very, very fast. I've seen women go
from 3 cm to complete in 10 minutes. I really, really don't need anyone
second guessing me in labor, least of all myself when I hear some number
that doesn't really mean what I think it means. In labor I heard 4 1/2 and
knew it had taken me 6 hours to dilate 1.5 cm. But that didn't tell me that
it would only take another 2.5 hours to dilate 5.5 cm! If I can't find my
cervix and want to know what it's doing, then I'll ask someone to examine
me. But I'm not going to lie on my back just to satisfy someone else's
curiousity! I got over that one in college.
Birthing my baby, I want not one word from the peanut gallery telling me if
I can push, when to push, where to push, or how to push. I'm a damn good
pusher and will do it in spite of anyone else. I might, however, strangle
the next person I hear start to say, "Hold your breath and count to 10."
After my baby is born, no one is going to take that baby out of my arms or
touch the baby's cord without my permission. Not for anything. They're not
going to wake me up to tell me it's time to nurse, or to take my blood
pressure just because it's time according to their schedule. They're not
going to poke my baby for information which is meaningless anyway for
another 48 hours or so. They're certainly not going to put anything in my
baby's mouth.

And the last place I want to be is in a damn hospital full of sick people.
Are they crazy, putting maternity in the same building as people with
horrible infections? Haven't we learned *anything* from Semmelweis? I've
worked as a CNA. And the floor of a hospital is a filthy, filthy place. If
they drop a pillow, they will pick it up and put it back on the bed. I think
my baby and I stand a much better chance in the friendly dirt of our own
home, versus the illusion of false sterility a hospital gives... the
janitors go everywhere. So do the lab techs. And they carry what was on the
dropped pillow on the surgical ward to the floors of maternity.

I'm just not going to argue with someone when I've got a precious new baby
in my arms. I'm not going to argue while I'm trying to bring that baby into
the world. I want to be able to access care if and when I need it, without
being yelled at or condescended to.

I'm really convinced that while this may be a lot to ask, it really SHOULD
NOT be too much to ask.

Jenrose


  #2  
Old June 7th 04, 10:04 AM
Stephanie J
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Navigating the maze of caregivers and birth choices

Too tired to do a big response to this tonight - though I sure want to I
just wanted to pop in a note to say that I have known you online for a few
years now (on CBIRTH and here, though not usually saying much) and I really
admire the way you've let yourself grow. Not just because I agree with you,
though that helps I've known a few women who have gone through lots of
growth and ended up at the other end o the spectrum - going from homebirths
to epidural/hospital births. I do admire them too, because they had been
through enough to know what they wanted from the next birth. Even if I
didn't understand it at the time. They did the research and soul-searching
to come to the right decision for their situation.


I will try to respond to some of the points that jumped out at me tomorrow

Stephanie
mom to 7 living kids - 4 hospital births, 3 unassisted homebirths, 1
medically assisted miscarriage and 6 (known) unassisted miscarriages
17, 15, 12, 8, 6, 3 and 1


"Jenrose" wrote in message
s.com...
Kat's thread on Will's birth story really got me thinking about the past
couple weeks. You see, with my daughter's hospital birth, I did everything
"right" that I knew about at the time in order to have a positive birth
experience, and to put it bluntly, it sucked. Well, 11 years later, having
taken part in other women's births as a doula, going through childbirth
education, working at a midwifery magazine for 7 1/2 years, you'd think

I'd
have it made as to getting things "right", no?

(snipped for now)

I'm just not going to argue with someone when I've got a precious new baby
in my arms. I'm not going to argue while I'm trying to bring that baby

into
the world. I want to be able to access care if and when I need it, without
being yelled at or condescended to.

I'm really convinced that while this may be a lot to ask, it really SHOULD
NOT be too much to ask.

Jenrose




  #3  
Old June 7th 04, 03:28 PM
Ericka Kammerer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Rant: Navigating the maze of caregivers and birth choices

Jenrose wrote:

Because I don't want to argue common sense against hospital policies, not
ever again. And especially not when I'm in labor.


I'm really convinced that while this may be a lot to ask, it really SHOULD
NOT be too much to ask.


I certainly agree, and it's a shame that it's so
hard to find. I feel that I've been very lucky. I probably
have a somewhat higher tolerance than you do, in that I
don't particularly mind some of the things like measurments
and such as long as I still have some control over what
gets done with the resulting information. The first two
times for me were really perfect, in my estimation. The
prenatal care was unobjectionable to me (BP, fundal height,
urine check for protein/glucose, fetal heart rate with
fetoscope in the 2nd half). When my BP started getting
higher, they worked with me to try to determine whether
anything was problematic and didn't get all wiggy about
it. The only tests I had done were the initial OB panel
and then later some bloodwork to rule out pre-eclampsia.
For other tests, they gave me some information and I
decided whether I wanted it or not--no harm, no foul either
way.

During labor, they pretty much did whatever I wanted.
In the beginning, they provided a lot of support. In the
middle, they stayed away (only coming in about once an
hour to check on me briefly, which they did by candlelight
because I didn't like having a light on). Towards the
end they were more hands on again. Any internal exams
were done at my request. With my second birth, there
wasn't time to do much of anything ;-) The only thing
I didn't like that time was that there was one internal
exam I would have dispensed with. I was seriously pushy,
but I was not fully dilated, and the midwife wanted to
be sure that the cervix was at least getting out of the
way while I pushed (she sensibly knew that she wasn't
going to have any luck telling me not to push ;-) That
exam annoyed me, but when I said to stop she did, and
she later apologized and said that she just should dropped
the whole issue. But, things were going so fast and
furious that we were both just barely hanging in there
and doing the best we could.

I was *very* nervous with #3, because I had to go
with CNMs instead of DEMs, and I had to go with a group
practice. I'm in a very conservative state. I knew I
was at much higher risk of not having things go my way.
I did have to fight more during pregnancy. They wanted
to do more crap early on (why do a pelvic exam on a
woman who's easily birthed a 9lb 6oz baby?), some of
which I refused and some of which I acquiesced to, depending
on how objectionable I found them. They got more
wiggy about my iron levels (but I just barely stayed
above their transfer criteria). They argued hard for
glucose testing, but ultimately respected my choice
to decline. I didn't get any grief for declining any
other tests. I did reluctantly give in on prenatal
anti-D because the only tradeoff they were willing
to make was monthly antibody checks in the third trimester.
I didn't think that was reasonable, but it was the only
thing they were unreasonable about, and it basically
boiled down to I had gotten them to the point where
they felt they could have problems with their backup.
(As long as midwifery isn't a truly independent profession,
this sort of crap will happen.) Towards the end, there
was a lot of bustle over the baby being breech, but I
think that was handled about as well as they could given
the restrictions they practice under, and they did get me
to someone experienced with versions and willing to work
with me (no IV, no tocolytics, no epidural, no induction).

I was nervous about labor (well, not about labor, but
about interventions and such), and there were one or two
midwives in the practice I would not have been thrilled
to get. However, I truly believe in the body's ability
to time labor appropriately, so it was no surprise to me
when I went into labor while my favorite midwife was
on call. She was amazing. Even with a birth assistant
*and* the student midwife there in addition to the
primary midwife (not to mention family and friends
hanging around), no one messed with me. The midwife
spent most of her time squatting in a corner of the
room just keeping an eye on me ;-) During the actual
birth, someone provided some perineal support and
warm compresses (I had told them previously that I
liked that). As usual, I had an early urge to push, and
there was one half-hearted suggestion that perhaps
I might not want to push *too* hard, but again, I had
told them previously that I was going to push when I
felt like it regardless of whether I was fully dilated,
so they didn't even bother to argue. I did feel that
the birth assistant monitored the heartbeat too often,
but she was trying hard to be unobtrusive and she went
away if I glared at her ;-) Anyway, the bottom line is
that things went very, very well and there were only
(for me) very minor annoyances.

All in all, I feel that my births were not
necessarily perfect in every detail (there were small
things that could have been different each time);
however, I felt that they were pretty much perfect
in toto. I don't really believe in perfection. I
think *something's* going to be a bit wonky no matter
what you do, even if you do it all yourself ;-) I
did get through three labors never having anyone
tell me to push or how to do it--which was a darned
good thing, as otherwise there would likely be people
missing body parts ;-)

Anyway, I'm not sure I have much of a point
except to say that I was blessed with some very special
midwives who *were* willing and able to turn the process
over to me for the most part, and I think that made all
the difference. I did feel respected throughout, and
I think that is what we all look for and deserve, even
if we ultimately make different choices about specific
things.

I do think that there are structural issues in
the professions of obstetrics and midwifery in the US
that will continue the medicalization of midwifery, and
sadly, I don't see much to stop that juggernaut at this
time. I think things are going to get much worse, and
I am glad that I think I'm done with childbearing because
I think what I want will be increasingly difficult to
find. I find it very sad and maddening that there
aren't enough people willing to demand better care,
but as the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to
water but you can't make him drink. Too few women are
willing to drink or demand their right to drink, so it
will likely be lost.

Best wishes,
Ericka

  #4  
Old June 9th 04, 10:55 PM
Cheryl S.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Navigating the maze of caregivers and birth choices

"Jenrose" wrote in message
s.com...
I'm really convinced that while this may be a lot to ask, it
really SHOULD NOT be too much to ask.


I agree, and even more, it shouldn't even require *asking* IMO, it
should be the way things *are*. The question is why is it so much to
ask? I have a feeling it's the malpractice insurers who are ultimately
at fault for the way things are and the direction things are headed in
pregnancy and birth care in the US.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months


  #5  
Old June 9th 04, 11:01 PM
Cheryl S.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Navigating the maze of caregivers and birth choices

"Cheryl S." wrote in message
...
"Jenrose" wrote in message
s.com...
I'm really convinced that while this may be a lot to ask, it
really SHOULD NOT be too much to ask.


I agree, and even more, it shouldn't even require *asking* IMO, it
should be the way things *are*. The question is why is it so much to
ask? I have a feeling it's the malpractice insurers who are

ultimately
at fault for the way things are and the direction things are headed in
pregnancy and birth care in the US.


Sorry, got distracted by seeing what the crawler is up to... I meant to
also say that I hope you do find what you need and want Jenrose.
Wishing you a peaceful pregnancy and birth, when it happens.
--
Cheryl S.
Mom to Julie, 3, and Jaden, 9 months


 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Sick of the horror stories! Elric Pregnancy 21 May 28th 04 02:18 PM
Arnold! (also: Channeling Gastaldo) (also: chiros/SACA/WFC) (also: Warning about usenet MDs) Todd Gastaldo Pregnancy 0 October 9th 03 09:21 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:25 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 ParentingBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.