preschool??

Thanks for all your input!! I'm going to look more seriously into
preschools now... I hadn't really considered the factor of getting to
spend one-on-one time with the baby, and since Micah *loves* daycare, I
think that providing him with more social outputs is a good thing.
I'd really been balking at the cost (if we ever want to be able to buy
a house here, we have to save some serious cash), but I'll look into
the community options some of you suggested.

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

Mother's Day Out Programs through churches are often very affordable
and are only two or three days a week. Our boys attended and they
enjoyed it very much. The programs usually have a specific curriculum.
Our 4 year old learned alphabet, etc. They also develop valuable
social skill and you get a few free hours to do errands, etc.

Moya

On Jan 2, 9:04 pm, wrote:
I've been avoiding thinking about this, but Micah will be old enough
for preschool in September. Any thoughts on their merits?? They are
pretty expensive where we are (the heart of Silicon Valley... where we
pay a high school girl $10/hour for babysitting!) and I seem to recall
reading that preschool doesn't actually do much in terms of academic
preparation -- and I'm not really that concerned with him *getting*
academic prep at that age, anyway. It seems like a play-based
curriculum would be fun for him and give me a break, esp. with #2
coming in April, but I'm not sure that's enough to justify the expense.
On the other hand, our daycare provider is getting preschool certified
(whatever that means) and we coud just put him in there -- but while
I'm really happy with the daycare (1 day/week), it's a home-based one
and I remember having a huge preschool with *much* more space/activity
possibilities/etc. when I was a kid.

Anyways, this is rambly -- but I'd like to get feedback on what people
think of the merits of preschool. I don't want to be sucked into the
Silicon Valley mentality of putting your kid in every possible activity
and scouting out Educational Opportunities for toddlers in the hopes of
getting them into Stanford. But if there's something more to it
than that, I'd like to hear about it. Thanks!!

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04

Em, I have been investigating the preschool issue too. I do not buy at
all in to the idea that a "head start" is an advantage. If your child
is slow and needs the extra time to learn something, *and if* your
child is ready to learn that something earlier rather than later, then
early enrollment in an "academic preschool" may make sense. That is
the essence of the Head Start program, which as I understand it
benefits otherwise normal children whose home environments are
educationally deficient. For a normal child, from a functional home,
getting a head start in preschool in my opinion merely sets the child
up to be bored in elementary school. Which may create behavioral
problems, among other issues.

I would consider only a play-centered preschool for my 2yo, Monkey Boy.
We visited preschools a year ago, when Monkey Boy was a few months shy
of turning 2. (Some preschools have waiting lists.) Well, the schools
we visited were uniformly prepared to enroll him that very same week,
even though their policies say they enroll children from age 3. Huh?
They thought he was ready, socially and verbally. I was shocked,
because at that point he had been talking for only 2 months. And he is
so small for his age. I decided to play it safe and keep him at home.
Now he is a few months shy of turning 3 and...he knows all his colors,
shapes, letters, numbers, can count (not just recite) to 10, almost has
grasped the concept of double-digit numbers, has mastered the computer
keyboard and mouse (he can click and drag, mouse over, the works!), and
he is on the verge of independent reading and writing by typing. He
can type his own userid and password to login on the computer. Writing
by hand is a little farther off, as it requires finer motor control
than he has yet. And he is still small for his age, and very gentle
and sensitive and high-energy. Now what do I do? He is going to need
a very flexible and attentive school environment. If I cannot find one
(and our choices are few, due to where we live now), I may have to home
school. Oh no. All that he has learned so far has been led by him.
We merely answer his questions and show him how to do what he sees us
doing and demands to do for himself. Mostly I do that, because I am at
home with him. I need a break.

BTW, I got into Stanford but I chose not to go there. The mentality
you mention was not for me.

Pologirl wrote:

I would consider only a play-centered preschool for my 2yo, Monkey Boy.
We visited preschools a year ago, when Monkey Boy was a few months shy
of turning 2. (Some preschools have waiting lists.) Well, the schools
we visited were uniformly prepared to enroll him that very same week,
even though their policies say they enroll children from age 3. Huh?

That's rather shocking to me. For one thing, it's very
likely a regulatory issue (there are different rules for under 2.5yos,
and it is unlikely that a school that claims not to enroll kids
until 3yo would meet the regulatory requirements for enrolling
an under 2yo). Bad, bad, bad.

They thought he was ready, socially and verbally. I was shocked,
because at that point he had been talking for only 2 months. And he is
so small for his age. I decided to play it safe and keep him at home.
Now he is a few months shy of turning 3 and...he knows all his colors,
shapes, letters, numbers, can count (not just recite) to 10, almost has
grasped the concept of double-digit numbers, has mastered the computer
keyboard and mouse (he can click and drag, mouse over, the works!), and
he is on the verge of independent reading and writing by typing. He
can type his own userid and password to login on the computer. Writing
by hand is a little farther off, as it requires finer motor control
than he has yet. And he is still small for his age, and very gentle
and sensitive and high-energy. Now what do I do? He is going to need
a very flexible and attentive school environment.

I'm not sure why anything you describe means that
he needs an unusual school environment? It sounds to me
like nearly any high quality early childhood environment
should be great for him. (Note that I would not consider
most obviously academic preschools to be high quality
early childhood environments.)

Best wishes,
Ericka

Ericka Kammerer wrote:
That's rather shocking to me. For one thing, it's very
likely a regulatory issue (there are different rules for under 2.5yos,
and it is unlikely that a school that claims not to enroll kids
until 3yo would meet the regulatory requirements for enrolling
an under 2yo). Bad, bad, bad.

Yup. Maybe the people I spoke to were overstepping their authority? I
don't know, since we did not enroll him.


I'm not sure why anything you describe means that
he needs an unusual school environment?

I didn't say unusual. Unfortunately, where we live now, preschools
that I would consider high quality are not usual. The offerings tend
to be either all recess-quality run-and-shout play, or a lot of work.
Worksheets, computer drills, homework. Some of the parents I know are
thrilled by the worksheets. There is one school that looks good to me,
but it is expensive. (Probably too expensive for me; I still am not
comfortable about being a SAHM, yet I cannot bring myself to put the
baby in daycare.) Locally, I gather there is a large contingent of
homeschooling families, who are opting out of all the local preschools
and primary schools too, but I'm not clued into the homeschool circles
yet. I need to start researching our options here.

Pologirl wrote:
Ericka Kammerer wrote:
That's rather shocking to me. For one thing, it's very
likely a regulatory issue (there are different rules for under 2.5yos,
and it is unlikely that a school that claims not to enroll kids
until 3yo would meet the regulatory requirements for enrolling
an under 2yo). Bad, bad, bad.

Yup. Maybe the people I spoke to were overstepping their authority? I
don't know, since we did not enroll him.


I'm not sure why anything you describe means that
he needs an unusual school environment?

I didn't say unusual. Unfortunately, where we live now, preschools
that I would consider high quality are not usual. The offerings tend
to be either all recess-quality run-and-shout play, or a lot of work.
Worksheets, computer drills, homework.

Oh. I wouldn't consider either of those high quality.

Some of the parents I know are
thrilled by the worksheets. There is one school that looks good to me,
but it is expensive. (Probably too expensive for me; I still am not
comfortable about being a SAHM, yet I cannot bring myself to put the
baby in daycare.) Locally, I gather there is a large contingent of
homeschooling families, who are opting out of all the local preschools
and primary schools too, but I'm not clued into the homeschool circles
yet. I need to start researching our options here.

It's a tough call. Personally, I think there's
no substitute for going and seeing for yourself. I find
that around here, word of mouth is often very unreliable,
because a lot of people have different views about what
constitutes a "good school" (even though I wouldn't say
my views are unusual--they're mostly in line with what
years of research have suggested). There's a lot of
folks who believe in aggressive academics with a lot of
homework, and think that if your kid is doing calculus
in third grade, that's a good thing. Parents brag
about the homework load all the time (I think it's
counter-productive to have lots of homework, especially
the type that is often assigned). There's also a lot
of discrimination. I hear people touting diversity all
the time; meanwhile, they're hastily moving their kids
to schools with little or no diversity so their kids
won't hang out with the "wrong kind of people" without
every actually looking at the school itself.
So, you just go and check things out and make
whatever decision you think of as best for your family.
The only caveat I'd give is that since we all want the
very best for our kids, sometimes we take that to extremes
and start thinking anything less than perfection is
unacceptable for them. The end result is that we treat
kids as fragile little beings whom the world must
accommodate in every detail. I think kids are strong and
resilient and learn to cope admirably with life, even
when it's less than perfect. So for myself, I *do*
want an education that gives them what they need to
be successful, and will go to the mat to advocate for
that, but I am willing to tolerate less than perfection
(which is a good thing, because otherwise I'd be
frustrated 99 percent of the time because the world
ain't perfect! ;-) ). As an example, it would be
unacceptable to me if there were no way for my gifted
kids to receive differentiated instruction so that
they were not bored to tears in class. On the other
hand, I am not bothered that each day's work isn't
perfectly tailored to their abilities and interests.
We can all learn to cope with being bored or overwhelmed
on occasion. I want them to have good teachers, but am
not bothered if every teacher doesn't have
the perfect combination of intelligence, charisma and
showmanship. I live with more homework than I think
is ideal or warranted, but I respect that it's not as
bad as some other places and that they're working to
make it better. We all have to learn to thrive in
sub-optimal environments. The situations to avoid
are not necessarily the ones that may not be perfectly
tailored to your child, but the ones where your child
*can't* achieve his potential or develops maladaptive
habits to survive in the system.
Personally, I'd look closely at the all-play
schools to see if they're *really* just run-screaming-
around-the-playground schools, or if maybe there *is*
a developmentally appropriate plan in there somewhere.
If there isn't, then I would argue it's a place where
your child won't have the option to achieve his potential.
I think the preschools that are all about worksheets and
homework encourage the development of maladaptive habits.
Are there any NAEYC accredited schools in your
area? (You can search on the NAEYC website.) The standards
have recently been revised, and as a result of that (and
other things) they've been behind in their auditing process,
so it's not a perfect indicator of a high quality preschool
right at this moment. However, a school that truly meets
the current NAEYC criteria is likely to be a good quality
school that doesn't represent either extreme that you've
seen. So, looking them up might be at least a starting
point for you to uncover some new options.
Also, for schools that look too expensive, do
check on the availability of scholarships. Sometimes
you'll be surprised by who is eligible. You might also
find good luck with cooperative preschools. Some are
very well run, and they're usually significantly cheaper
(in terms of money, though not time!).

Best wishes,
Ericka

I would consider only a play-centered preschool for my 2yo, Monkey Boy.
We visited preschools a year ago, when Monkey Boy was a few months shy
of turning 2. (Some preschools have waiting lists.) Well, the schools
we visited were uniformly prepared to enroll him that very same week,
even though their policies say they enroll children from age 3. Huh?

That's rather shocking to me. For one thing, it's very
likely a regulatory issue (there are different rules for under 2.5yos,
and it is unlikely that a school that claims not to enroll kids
until 3yo would meet the regulatory requirements for enrolling
an under 2yo). Bad, bad, bad.

depends on the exact rule that is being bent, but it would seem that a not
yet 2yr old in a 3+ preschool would be more than bending rules. My DS is in
a preschool class that is not the correct age for him, this state seems to
run the school year from 1st Sept so the various 3-4 classes accept children
born after 1st Sept 2002, but they have multiple cut off dates, with not all
the classes having 31st Aug 2003, some classes are reserved for the older
half of the year, including the one my DS is in I think he misses the cut
off by 2mths, but that really is just a bending of a guideline as all the
regulatory requirements just mean they have to have turned 3. I think that
his class also has some of the younger ones from the year above. For the
following year they have 4-5 class and pre-K class, I'm yet to understand
the exact differences, but it seems there is some ability to choose the
correct program for your child, they have some children who are K age in the
pre-K class as well (they also have K class). With this age child, you can't
vary what they "take" so much like you do later, so it seems to make sense
to be able to get your kid in the right class for them, which doesn't always
directly tally with age.

Anne

Anne Rogers wrote:
I would consider only a play-centered preschool for my 2yo, Monkey Boy.
We visited preschools a year ago, when Monkey Boy was a few months shy
of turning 2. (Some preschools have waiting lists.) Well, the schools
we visited were uniformly prepared to enroll him that very same week,
even though their policies say they enroll children from age 3. Huh?
That's rather shocking to me. For one thing, it's very
likely a regulatory issue (there are different rules for under 2.5yos,
and it is unlikely that a school that claims not to enroll kids
until 3yo would meet the regulatory requirements for enrolling
an under 2yo). Bad, bad, bad.

depends on the exact rule that is being bent, but it would seem that a not
yet 2yr old in a 3+ preschool would be more than bending rules. My DS is in
a preschool class that is not the correct age for him, this state seems to
run the school year from 1st Sept so the various 3-4 classes accept children
born after 1st Sept 2002, but they have multiple cut off dates, with not all
the classes having 31st Aug 2003, some classes are reserved for the older
half of the year, including the one my DS is in I think he misses the cut
off by 2mths, but that really is just a bending of a guideline as all the
regulatory requirements just mean they have to have turned 3.

For under 2.5yos, there are rules regarding things like
needing doors to the outside from the classroom or limiting the
number of under 2.5's in the building (so that they can be
evacuated properly in case of fire) and so forth. These aren't
the sort of things you can make judgment calls about ;-)
That's *why* so many schools won't accept under 2.5s (or
some make it an even three years old just to make it easy
and give a little wiggle room).

Best wishes,
Ericka

For under 2.5yos, there are rules regarding things like
needing doors to the outside from the classroom or limiting the
number of under 2.5's in the building (so that they can be
evacuated properly in case of fire) and so forth. These aren't
the sort of things you can make judgment calls about ;-)
That's *why* so many schools won't accept under 2.5s (or
some make it an even three years old just to make it easy
and give a little wiggle room).

exactly! I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that the same wouldn't
be true at other age boundaries and some flexibility there could be seen as
a mark of a good preschool.

Cheers

Anne

You might consider a work from home option to help with the cost of
preschool.

Moya Wilson
MOM Team Marketing Executive
www.TheSolutionsForYou.com

On Jan 4, 5:52 pm, wrote:
Thanks for all your input!! I'm going to look more seriously into
preschools now... I hadn't really considered the factor of getting to
spend one-on-one time with the baby, and since Micah *loves* daycare, I
think that providing him with more social outputs is a good thing.
I'd really been balking at the cost (if we ever want to be able to buy
a house here, we have to save some serious cash), but I'll look into
the community options some of you suggested.

Em
mama to Micah, 11/14/04