yet another infant sleep question

I know I'm worrying too much, but I'm a first-time mom and have ho
idea how this baby thing is supposed to work. My son is almost 4mos
old, and while I have no complaints about his night-time sleeping
(mostly), I am worried that he won't sleep without being swaddled. He
is a restless sleeper, and as soon as he kicks out of his swaddling he
trashes around until he wakes up. When that happens it means a night
of up an hour sleep an hour for me. How do I break him of the habit,
or should I even worry about it at this point?

He also won't sleep for naps unless he's being held or put on his
tummy. He'll sleep for maybe 30 minutes, but then he wakes up. Is
that long enough for a good nap? I do know that when he sleeps well
during the day we have good sleep nights. Just last night, he slept
6.5 hours at a stretch.

thanks,
Sue Ellen
mom of Jake, 3m 2.5w

"the Princess" wrote in message
I am worried that he won't sleep without being swaddled. He
is a restless sleeper, and as soon as he kicks out of his swaddling he
trashes around until he wakes up.
How do I break him of the habit, or should I even worry about it at this
point?

I wouldn't worry at all about swaddling right now. He will grow out of it.
You might, however, want to invest in one of those swaddling blankets that
are designed to keep the baby in there a little more tighter. As for the
naps, well he is still really little and needing the comfort of you right
now to sleep. I know that it is tiresome to sit and hold them for a nap (and
not something that I had to do mind you) but perhaps getting a handle on the
swaddling may be buy you more nap time. Also I am believer in white noise
for babies to sleep by. We had a fan in the baby's room and that seemed to
keep them asleep a long time. Do you have a sling that you could put the
baby in while he slept and you could go about your household chores? Hang in
there, find a better swaddling blanket and I bet you will have better luck.
Also, can you lay down with him and nap when he does?
--
Sue (mom to three girls)

the Princess ) writes:
I know I'm worrying too much, but I'm a first-time mom and have ho
idea how this baby thing is supposed to work. My son is almost 4mos
old, and while I have no complaints about his night-time sleeping
(mostly), I am worried that he won't sleep without being swaddled. He
is a restless sleeper, and as soon as he kicks out of his swaddling he
trashes around until he wakes up. When that happens it means a night
of up an hour sleep an hour for me. How do I break him of the habit,
or should I even worry about it at this point?

I wouldn't worry about it. What I would do is look for
ways to avoid having him kick out of his swaddling.
Aren't there baby clothes sort-of like potatoe sacks --
with sleeves for the arms but one big bag for the feet?
Maybe something like that would help. I used to put
a hot-water-bottle (not too hot) next to my kids
so they would feel as if they had someone next
to them. Whatever helps him sleep, I would just
do it and not worry about it. You can plan to teach
him different habits, but I don't know how.

He also won't sleep for naps unless he's being held or put on his
tummy. He'll sleep for maybe 30 minutes, but then he wakes up. Is
that long enough for a good nap?

I don't know! I think it's fine for some babies.

I do know that when he sleeps well
during the day we have good sleep nights. Just last night, he slept
6.5 hours at a stretch.

This could be coincidence, rather than cause. I mean, on
days when it's a good day to sleep -- no tummy aches, no
teething, dark cloudy weather or whatever -- maybe he sleeps
more both day and night on those days.

6.5 hours at 4 months!!! Enjoy it!

--
Cathy

the Princess wrote on 7/16/2004 1:32 PM:

I know I'm worrying too much, but I'm a first-time mom and have ho
idea how this baby thing is supposed to work. My son is almost 4mos
old, and while I have no complaints about his night-time sleeping
(mostly), I am worried that he won't sleep without being swaddled. He
is a restless sleeper, and as soon as he kicks out of his swaddling he
trashes around until he wakes up. When that happens it means a night
of up an hour sleep an hour for me. How do I break him of the habit,
or should I even worry about it at this point?

He also won't sleep for naps unless he's being held or put on his
tummy. He'll sleep for maybe 30 minutes, but then he wakes up. Is
that long enough for a good nap? I do know that when he sleeps well
during the day we have good sleep nights. Just last night, he slept
6.5 hours at a stretch.

thanks,
Sue Ellen
mom of Jake, 3m 2.5w

[a long reply from a mother of a fellow restless sleeper]

Would you be surprised that most sources only recommend swaddling up
until a month old? We STARTED swaddling Ian at 1 mos old, at which
point he promptly started sleeping through the night. When he hit 7 mos
old, he was just too strong for the swaddling (30" and 21 lbs). We
eliminated the swaddling, and guess what? It had been hiding a kicky,
squirmy restless sleeper all along. LOL

I really started to despair. We cosleep with his crib in a sidecar
arrangement (so he can have his own space), but the only way we could
get him to sleep was to cuddle up with him. That was acceptable for
night, but since I get 90% of my tasks done while he naps, I can't
afford to hold him through all his naps. I could never get him into a
sling either - I tried a few different types and he hated them all.

I tried swaddling him tighter (which you're not supposed to do because
of possible damage to the hips). He broke out of it. We tried weaning
him out of the swaddling slowly with one arm out of it. He waved that
one arm around like he was trying to catch a cab and managed to wake
himself up every time. So I gave up. We went cold turkey on the swaddling.

The first week I thought I was crazy. My husband was unamused, having
just started a new job with earlier hours than he was used to anyways.
I agonized over swaddling him again, and even did once or twice when he
was so overstimulated and sleep-deprived that he needed to sleep (oh,
did I mention Ian is a sleep-fighter too? *sigh*) I didn't get much
sleep that week and my husband ended up on the couch most of the nights.

Then I remembered a book I bought even before Ian was born - _The No-Cry
Sleep Solution_ by Elizabeth Pantley. In it, she emphasizes the
importance of sleep routines and habits. She also talks about learning
to recognize sleep signals. Well at least I had that down. So I worked
on creating as much of a routine as I could for a baby. We don't have a
set schedule. By the time he's sleepy, he's in no mood for books or
baths. So what do I do?

When I first notice eye rubbing or zoning out, I'll bring whatever I'm
doing to an end and keep an eye on him. At the next sleep signal, I
scoop him up and take him to bed. If I pack him off at the first sleep
signal or I wait so long he starts grumping, falling asleep takes 30
minutes instead of 5. I then lay him down and pop his pacifier into his
mouth. I have no desire to wean it from him at the moment since it
seems to help him so much. I cover him with a big fuzzy blanket that my
mom made (I used to use different ones but he loves feeling this one).

If he needs to wiggle and fuss a bit, he has toys which live in the crib
only - a couple of stuffed mooses, a Care Bear his godmother gave him
(which always makes him smile), and a Fisher Price aquarium crib toy,
which he loves to operate by himself. I wouldn't recommend leaving any
stuffed toys or blankets in the crib if a baby can't roll over or move
around easily. When he starts getting quiet, I'll sing him our lullaby
(You Are My Sunshine). If he needs more, I'll sing him other songs too.

Sometimes he needs to fuss more and I find he falls asleep faster if I
leave the room. I listen to the monitor and if the fussing turns to
crying, I'll come back for a few minutes. I'll rub his head, replace
his blanket or pacifier if needed, tell him to go to sleep, sing his
lulluby again and leave. Some days he tries to delay sleep by playing
(no matter how tired he is) which means laughing and trying to make me
laugh, so when he's really stringing it out (my 4th or 5th time back),
I'll fix what needs fixing and won't react to him. That usually works
fairly quickly.

It took a couple more weeks, but he has finally taught himself to go to
sleep and stay asleep most of the time. Sometimes he wakes up and can't
get himself back down and I have to fix something or comfort him, but he
usually drops right back off. Sometimes he rolls all over the crib
throughout the night or adopts the most outlandish positions (i.e. on
all fours with his face buried in his hands), but it works for him. And
he'll fall asleep in under 5 minutes most of the time. Yay! He has his
bad nights, but they're fewer and fewer.

As for how long to sleep, how does it work for Jake? According to the
books, Ian sleeps longer than babies "should" but I've learned to ignore
the books since he's healthy and has no developmental delays. He'll
sleep 10-12 hours at night, 2-3 hours for his morning nap, and 1-2 hours
for his afternoon nap (he just eliminated his evening nap). Ian will
also have days when he'll take shorter but more frequent naps, or sleep
longer during the next period to compensate for a short or missed nap.
It's all about how it works for your baby. Some babies don't sleep
longer stretches than yours until well over a year old.

Good luck!

- Joanne
DS Ian, 8 mos