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fidgety kids
Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The
story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc. So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt successfully with this problem? Chris |
#2
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fidgety kids
Hi -- We solved the problem of excess-fidgets for our son by removing milk from his diet. It turned out he had an allergy to it (and to a couple of other things). I'm not suggesting that your son has a milk allergy! But fidgets to his particular degree sound as though they may have a physical basis, possibly neurological, possibly other. So ... I'd try several things. First, make sure he gets TONS of exercise! Maybe go running in the morning before school? Take up a martial art and practice daily? Whatever it takes to burn off some of that excess energy. Second, start tracking your son's diet. Try removing artificial colors and flavors and maybe some common allergens (milk protein, egg, wheat) to see if he becomes better able to sit still. It may take a couple of weeks of dietary elimination to see results, but your son may, in fact, be interested in trying it himself if you present things appropriately. If that doesn't work, see a doctor. Even if you decide not to take up a treatment plan, having a diagnosis (if there IS a diagnosis) will make teachers more tolerant of his fidgety behavior. "Oh, he's got XXX, it makes him fidget." In the meantime, keep working with your son to keep his behavior under control, at least enough so that it doesn't distract other students. I hope this helps! Good luck, --Beth Kevles http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner. NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would like me to reply. |
#3
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fidgety kids
Chris wrote: Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc. So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt successfully with this problem? Chris Have you discussed this issue with his physician? Have you sought counseling? School counselor? I'd first talk to pediatrician and see if there might be some medical reason. If there are none, I'd seek counseling to see if there are any mental health issues that need addressing. I'd also think about taking my child to a naturopath/homeopath to see if there are any natural remedies that might help. There's also the possibility that it will go away as he gets older...or au contraire, it might escalate. Is he in sports? Music? Does he have appropriate outlets for what sounds like nervous energy? Is his life balanced? It could be as simply as few sessions and lessons in behavior modification or it could be something more complicated. Good luck! |
#4
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fidgety kids
Chris wrote:
Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc. So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt successfully with this problem? How much physical exercise does he do? And what's his diet like? I've noticed that boys that age get very fidgety if their diet has too much high GI foods (basically sugary food) or if they hadn't been physically active. The physical activity doesn't have to be formal exercise programs, just walking from the school bus seems to help. -- Penny Gaines UK mum to three |
#5
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fidgety kids
Penny Gaines wrote: How much physical exercise does he do? And what's his diet like? He is pretty active, but his diet is not very good. I guess I haven't made that connection before, but everyone responding here has brought it up. I'll have to take a closer look at both the variety of what he eats and his reactions to certain foods. I guess allergies could be involved, although he shows absolutely no other symptoms of food allergies. Chris |
#6
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fidgety kids
Chris wrote: Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete strategies for dealing with the issue. In addition to looking into potential causes and ways to minimize his fidgetiness, there are products a child can use in school to "focus" their fidgetiness in more acceptable ways. There are various kinds of "wiggle seat" that kids can put on their chairs to allow them to wiggle a bit while still staying in their chairs. (Here's a couple of examples: http://www.sensoryedge.com/discositjr.html http://www.amazon.com/Gymnic-MovinSi.../dp/B0007WBMHG) Also he might benefit by having something small that he can keep in his pocket and fidget with quietly out of sight. A smooth stone, or something squishy, etc. http://www.therapyshoppe.com/product.php?cat=7 has a bunch of options but you may well have something in the house already that can fill this need. Good luck! --Robyn |
#7
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fidgety kids
On Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:09:33 EST, "Chris" wrote:
Penny Gaines wrote: How much physical exercise does he do? And what's his diet like? He is pretty active, but his diet is not very good. I guess I haven't made that connection before, but everyone responding here has brought it up. I'll have to take a closer look at both the variety of what he eats and his reactions to certain foods. I guess allergies could be involved, although he shows absolutely no other symptoms of food allergies. Has he been evaluated for ADHD? If he has ADHD, there are some things that can be done behaviorally and others that can be done medically. A diagnosis also helps when you want accommodations. For example, some of the ADHD kids I work with are allowed to take "walk and talks" with me when they are losing it. The teacher calls me when they are getting really fidgety or whatever their particular impulsiveness or activity results in and I take them out to walk around and have a pep talk about how they can do it. The walking does more than the talking, but the talking also reminds them that they just have to hang in there until the next recess or whatever and that the adults at school are rooting for them to succeed and not just always exasperated with them when they can't manage. I have also got permission from teachers to give ADHD kids some rubber aliens that I got from Oriental Trading Company (online). They stretch and give a lot of the same tactile satisfaction that fidgeting with pencils and such does, but they are much quieter. Some schools and teachers don't like that idea, though, so it is easier to at least get them to try it if there is some diagnosis that requires them to try to accommodate the child's issues. If an elimination diet doesn't help (and you can research online how to do that), I'd skip the pediatrician, who generally just knows a little about the most common problems and most common ways to treat them, and go to a neuropsychologist, who can test for neurological as well as behavioral issues and get you the answers more quickly. Whatever is going on, please get him help now. Hyperactive kids are more likely to end up being kids who get into more serious trouble later. The research I have seen notes the correlation without speaking to cause, but my work leads me to believe that kids who want to be liked and approved of who are constantly getting into trouble in school end up having issues with school/education, authority figures, and adults in general that lead them to turn away from what you want them involved in and toward rebellion and peer groups you won't want your child involved with. Early intervention can prevent that much easier and better than you can fix it after any damage is done. -- Paula "Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy, so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay |
#9
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fidgety kids
"Chris" wrote in message ups.com... Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc. So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt successfully with this problem? It sounds like he has two problems: 1) He is bored in class. You should talk to his assistant principal or guidence counselor as well as his teachers. His teachers should be giving him work that keeps from being bored. Or he should be going to an advanced class. 2) Your son is not able to sit still. He should learn to join the family and eat with the family sitting down. He should be recreational activities like reading, listening to music and using the computer sitting down. His recreational use of computers, TV watching and video games should be limited to two hours a day (or even less). He should also be outside, playing with his friends, riding his bike, etc., during daylight hours rather than be in the house. It sounds to me that you need to bring the school and teachers in on this one. You probably want to set up a behavioral plan with the help of the school's guidance counseler or AP, his teachers and himself. This plan should have specific rewards as well as expectations. Solving problem #1 should help problem #2, but there seperate problems. Plus, if you live near a major university with a medical school, you might make an appoint with some educational psychologists or pediatric pyschologists for some additional ideas. Jeff Chris |
#10
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fidgety kids
Jeff wrote: It sounds like he has two problems: 1) He is bored in class. You should talk to his assistant principal or guidence counselor as well as his teachers. His teachers should be giving him work that keeps from being bored. Or he should be going to an advanced class. We have tried, repeatedly, to have him given more challenging work but run into two problems. One, teachers just don't want to do it. Our school really resists anything that looks like ability grouping. There is no real mechanism, other than grade skipping available. He's already young for his current grade, and I don't really want to have him advanced. Plus, I don't think my son is the only one who could benefit from more challenging work. Second, anytime that more challenging work is given it is usually of the form "write about x." My son really does not like to write, so that never works! Frankly, what incentive do teachers have to tailor their lessons for him? None, except goodwill. During the conference his science teacher said, 'E's test scores were 94, 100, 104, and 98, but the other day when we were working on something I looked over to see E just reading a book." So, to me, as a parent I'm thinking what's the problem here? He clearly knows the material and is choosing to make better use of his time! Why should that bother the teacher? But she sees this as a sign of disrespect. 2) Your son is not able to sit still. He should learn to join the family and eat with the family sitting down. He joins us for dinner and is an "active" participant in the conversation, he'd just rather not sit down! He loves to help cook and prepare meals. He should be recreational activities like reading, listening to music and using the computer sitting down. His recreational use of computers, TV watching and video games should be limited to two hours a day (or even less). He should also be outside, playing with his friends, riding his bike, etc., during daylight hours rather than be in the house. He is a little heavy on the video time, I'll admit. We have talked about limiting that more or using it as a "reward" for good behavior. But, he was elected to student council, was elected treasurer of the 6th grade chorus, has a lead role in the MS musical, is in chorus, band and jazz band, is working on his black belt in TaeKwonDo, plays chess in local and national tournaments, and takes piano lessons. He is plenty busy. He doesn't really like too many sports, especially team sports. None of his teachers have ever suggested ADD as a diagnosis, but maybe that's because he doesn't really get in trouble and when a teacher asks him to stay on task he does, at least for a while. He does not enjoy working in groups--he thinks they slow him down, and he takes a little pride in being different or "quirky." Some teachers like this, others don't. I guess I'm torn between thinking he is just a bright kid who has trouble controlling himself and thinking there are more serious underlying problems. It sounds to me that you need to bring the school and teachers in on this one. You probably want to set up a behavioral plan with the help of the school's guidance counseler or AP, his teachers and himself. This plan should have specific rewards as well as expectations. Solving problem #1 should help problem #2, but there seperate problems. Plus, if you live near a major university with a medical school, you might make an appoint with some educational psychologists or pediatric pyschologists for some additional ideas. Jeff Chris |
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