Delurking again to ask a question

"Peggy" wrote in message
...
Just a thought Leslie, if you are sitting them close to you and reading
them
stories because they were fighting, you are actually rewarding their bad
behaviour with your undivided attention.

I must have said that wrong. I put them on either side of me to settle down,
then afterwards we read some stories. I've wondered though if that is too
much undivided attention as well, but alternatives weren't working.

They will keep doing it as long as
they get this payoff. My suggestion would be to separate them into
different rooms. They will get bored and realize that because they were
fighting they now have nobody to play with. Also, we tend to forget that
our multiples are with one another 24 hours per day (unless they are in
school and in different classes), they even share a room in the majority
of
households. It's perfectly normal for them to get sick of one another and
need some time apart.

Absolutely right, Peggy. I need to work on finding ways for them to spend
some time apart I think. They are in the same classroom at school. Recently,
their teacher says, they're playing with other children more often, and I've
noticed when the bus picks them up that they don't always sit together
anymore. Thanks for the ideas.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

"Peggy" wrote in message
...
Just a thought Leslie, if you are sitting them close to you and reading
them
stories because they were fighting, you are actually rewarding their bad
behaviour with your undivided attention.

I must have said that wrong. I put them on either side of me to settle down,
then afterwards we read some stories. I've wondered though if that is too
much undivided attention as well, but alternatives weren't working.

They will keep doing it as long as
they get this payoff. My suggestion would be to separate them into
different rooms. They will get bored and realize that because they were
fighting they now have nobody to play with. Also, we tend to forget that
our multiples are with one another 24 hours per day (unless they are in
school and in different classes), they even share a room in the majority
of
households. It's perfectly normal for them to get sick of one another and
need some time apart.

Absolutely right, Peggy. I need to work on finding ways for them to spend
some time apart I think. They are in the same classroom at school. Recently,
their teacher says, they're playing with other children more often, and I've
noticed when the bus picks them up that they don't always sit together
anymore. Thanks for the ideas.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

"Peggy" wrote in message
...
Just a thought Leslie, if you are sitting them close to you and reading
them
stories because they were fighting, you are actually rewarding their bad
behaviour with your undivided attention.

I must have said that wrong. I put them on either side of me to settle down,
then afterwards we read some stories. I've wondered though if that is too
much undivided attention as well, but alternatives weren't working.

They will keep doing it as long as
they get this payoff. My suggestion would be to separate them into
different rooms. They will get bored and realize that because they were
fighting they now have nobody to play with. Also, we tend to forget that
our multiples are with one another 24 hours per day (unless they are in
school and in different classes), they even share a room in the majority
of
households. It's perfectly normal for them to get sick of one another and
need some time apart.

Absolutely right, Peggy. I need to work on finding ways for them to spend
some time apart I think. They are in the same classroom at school. Recently,
their teacher says, they're playing with other children more often, and I've
noticed when the bus picks them up that they don't always sit together
anymore. Thanks for the ideas.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000

"Andrea" wrote in message
...
Hi Leslie.....waving! I've been wondering where you've been. I've missed
"seeing" you here. I'm sorry about your mother and the boys' GF. I hope
things will settle down and you'll be able to post more often.

Big wave back! Thanks, I hope things settle down too. :-/


Jordan and Madison started fighting with each other a lot more a few
months
before they turned four also.

I can't believe they're 4 already! I was thinking of them last month and
Pam's girls too. Where did the time go?

Usually I send the offender to time-out in her
room, but sometimes it gets so bad that I make one go upstairs and one
stay
downstairs.

How do you get them to "stay" apart? Totally serious question here. Alex and
Jordan flat out won't stay in separate rooms. I even tried one of those
little locks on the bedroom door that so many people use for
nighttime...Jordan broke the door. He took a hobby horse (is that what
they're called...horse on a stick?) and beat the door until it cracked. I'm
just glad he didn't break the window. Also, I normally can't tell who the
offender is since it turns into a total knock down drag out kicking and
screaming match very quickly. This will be a typical fight before I can
reach them across the yard to stop it. Jordan accidentally does something to
Alex. Alex growls at Jordan. Jordan holds his hand out and says "stop". Alex
pinches. Jordan punches. Alex punches. Jordan hits Alex like a football
player with his whole body knocking Alex off his feet and onto the ground 4
feet away. Alex grabs Jordan by the head pounding it into the ground over
and over. By then I've separated them and have them slowly moving towards
the house. This kind of fight happens almost every day. Pretty bad huh?
I've considered getting them in some organized sports but around here they
can't until next year. We definitely are physically active enough to work
off all their energy, so I don't know where all this comes from except all
the extra stress they feel from me. I feel guilty that I can't handle it
better, but don't know what to do about that either. :-(

Enough of that for 2:30 in the morning, I'm going back to bed. If nothing
made sense you can blame it on the time and lack of sleep. ;-) Any more
thoughts or ideas greatly appreciated.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000


For some reason they HATE that. You'd think if someone was
getting on your nerves that badly then being separated would be a relief.

It at least gives me some peace from their bickering for a while.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

"Andrea" wrote in message
...
Hi Leslie.....waving! I've been wondering where you've been. I've missed
"seeing" you here. I'm sorry about your mother and the boys' GF. I hope
things will settle down and you'll be able to post more often.

Big wave back! Thanks, I hope things settle down too. :-/


Jordan and Madison started fighting with each other a lot more a few
months
before they turned four also.

I can't believe they're 4 already! I was thinking of them last month and
Pam's girls too. Where did the time go?

Usually I send the offender to time-out in her
room, but sometimes it gets so bad that I make one go upstairs and one
stay
downstairs.

How do you get them to "stay" apart? Totally serious question here. Alex and
Jordan flat out won't stay in separate rooms. I even tried one of those
little locks on the bedroom door that so many people use for
nighttime...Jordan broke the door. He took a hobby horse (is that what
they're called...horse on a stick?) and beat the door until it cracked. I'm
just glad he didn't break the window. Also, I normally can't tell who the
offender is since it turns into a total knock down drag out kicking and
screaming match very quickly. This will be a typical fight before I can
reach them across the yard to stop it. Jordan accidentally does something to
Alex. Alex growls at Jordan. Jordan holds his hand out and says "stop". Alex
pinches. Jordan punches. Alex punches. Jordan hits Alex like a football
player with his whole body knocking Alex off his feet and onto the ground 4
feet away. Alex grabs Jordan by the head pounding it into the ground over
and over. By then I've separated them and have them slowly moving towards
the house. This kind of fight happens almost every day. Pretty bad huh?
I've considered getting them in some organized sports but around here they
can't until next year. We definitely are physically active enough to work
off all their energy, so I don't know where all this comes from except all
the extra stress they feel from me. I feel guilty that I can't handle it
better, but don't know what to do about that either. :-(

Enough of that for 2:30 in the morning, I'm going back to bed. If nothing
made sense you can blame it on the time and lack of sleep. ;-) Any more
thoughts or ideas greatly appreciated.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000


For some reason they HATE that. You'd think if someone was
getting on your nerves that badly then being separated would be a relief.

It at least gives me some peace from their bickering for a while.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

"Andrea" wrote in message
...
Hi Leslie.....waving! I've been wondering where you've been. I've missed
"seeing" you here. I'm sorry about your mother and the boys' GF. I hope
things will settle down and you'll be able to post more often.

Big wave back! Thanks, I hope things settle down too. :-/


Jordan and Madison started fighting with each other a lot more a few
months
before they turned four also.

I can't believe they're 4 already! I was thinking of them last month and
Pam's girls too. Where did the time go?

Usually I send the offender to time-out in her
room, but sometimes it gets so bad that I make one go upstairs and one
stay
downstairs.

How do you get them to "stay" apart? Totally serious question here. Alex and
Jordan flat out won't stay in separate rooms. I even tried one of those
little locks on the bedroom door that so many people use for
nighttime...Jordan broke the door. He took a hobby horse (is that what
they're called...horse on a stick?) and beat the door until it cracked. I'm
just glad he didn't break the window. Also, I normally can't tell who the
offender is since it turns into a total knock down drag out kicking and
screaming match very quickly. This will be a typical fight before I can
reach them across the yard to stop it. Jordan accidentally does something to
Alex. Alex growls at Jordan. Jordan holds his hand out and says "stop". Alex
pinches. Jordan punches. Alex punches. Jordan hits Alex like a football
player with his whole body knocking Alex off his feet and onto the ground 4
feet away. Alex grabs Jordan by the head pounding it into the ground over
and over. By then I've separated them and have them slowly moving towards
the house. This kind of fight happens almost every day. Pretty bad huh?
I've considered getting them in some organized sports but around here they
can't until next year. We definitely are physically active enough to work
off all their energy, so I don't know where all this comes from except all
the extra stress they feel from me. I feel guilty that I can't handle it
better, but don't know what to do about that either. :-(

Enough of that for 2:30 in the morning, I'm going back to bed. If nothing
made sense you can blame it on the time and lack of sleep. ;-) Any more
thoughts or ideas greatly appreciated.


--
Leslie
Alex and Jordan, 06 May 2000


For some reason they HATE that. You'd think if someone was
getting on your nerves that badly then being separated would be a relief.

It at least gives me some peace from their bickering for a while.

Andrea
twin girls-Madison & Jordan
3/22/00

How do you get them to "stay" apart?

I dunno, they just do it. They go to their respective places crying and
screaming, but they go.

This will be a typical fight before I can
reach them across the yard to stop it. Jordan accidentally does something to
Alex. Alex growls at Jordan. Jordan holds his hand out and says "stop". Alex
pinches. Jordan punches. Alex punches. Jordan hits Alex like a football
player with his whole body knocking Alex off his feet and onto the ground 4
feet away. Alex grabs Jordan by the head pounding it into the ground over
and over. By then I've separated them and have them slowly moving towards
the house. This kind of fight happens almost every day. Pretty bad huh?

Wow! Yeah, that is pretty bad. My girls will pull hair, pinch, push, yell,
and hit, but usually not all at the same time. Usually one does one thing to
the other and the other one retaliates. It may happen several times throughout
the day, but it doesn't escalate into a knockdown, drag-out physical fight.

Do you have anyone who could take one of the boys once in a while so you spend
one-on-one time with the other one? I'm sorry I'm not more help.

Hugs,
Andrea
twin girls-Jordan & Madison
3/22/00

How do you get them to "stay" apart?

I dunno, they just do it. They go to their respective places crying and
screaming, but they go.

This will be a typical fight before I can
reach them across the yard to stop it. Jordan accidentally does something to
Alex. Alex growls at Jordan. Jordan holds his hand out and says "stop". Alex
pinches. Jordan punches. Alex punches. Jordan hits Alex like a football
player with his whole body knocking Alex off his feet and onto the ground 4
feet away. Alex grabs Jordan by the head pounding it into the ground over
and over. By then I've separated them and have them slowly moving towards
the house. This kind of fight happens almost every day. Pretty bad huh?

Wow! Yeah, that is pretty bad. My girls will pull hair, pinch, push, yell,
and hit, but usually not all at the same time. Usually one does one thing to
the other and the other one retaliates. It may happen several times throughout
the day, but it doesn't escalate into a knockdown, drag-out physical fight.

Do you have anyone who could take one of the boys once in a while so you spend
one-on-one time with the other one? I'm sorry I'm not more help.

Hugs,
Andrea
twin girls-Jordan & Madison
3/22/00

How do you get them to "stay" apart?

I dunno, they just do it. They go to their respective places crying and
screaming, but they go.

This will be a typical fight before I can
reach them across the yard to stop it. Jordan accidentally does something to
Alex. Alex growls at Jordan. Jordan holds his hand out and says "stop". Alex
pinches. Jordan punches. Alex punches. Jordan hits Alex like a football
player with his whole body knocking Alex off his feet and onto the ground 4
feet away. Alex grabs Jordan by the head pounding it into the ground over
and over. By then I've separated them and have them slowly moving towards
the house. This kind of fight happens almost every day. Pretty bad huh?

Wow! Yeah, that is pretty bad. My girls will pull hair, pinch, push, yell,
and hit, but usually not all at the same time. Usually one does one thing to
the other and the other one retaliates. It may happen several times throughout
the day, but it doesn't escalate into a knockdown, drag-out physical fight.

Do you have anyone who could take one of the boys once in a while so you spend
one-on-one time with the other one? I'm sorry I'm not more help.

Hugs,
Andrea
twin girls-Jordan & Madison
3/22/00

Isn't their relationship funny Andrea? My girls will fight all day, but if
only one is napping the other will pace outside the door and keep asking me
for her sister.

I know, it just cracks me up. This morning Jordan was being a lady of leisure
and slept until 11:00. Madison kept saying "When is Jordan going to wake up?"
When Jordan got up Madison ran into her room and hugged her. Of course it
didn't take long for them to start fighting over toys though.

Andrea
twin girls-Jordan & Madison
3/22/00