Kids & sleep (mini-vent)

My kids go to bed earlier The boys at 7 pm and Charlotte at 8 pm.
Starting at 6 months old even the baby has an earlier bedtime - 7 pm. I
would just get her/him when she/he woke up again to eat. But I had to
have
an earlier bedtime for all of them.

I'd love earlier bedtimes but unfortunately they have activities that run
late. Noah's soccer on Wed. is until 7:30, his martial arts class until 7 on
Thursdays. By the time we get home, they need a little bit to wind down.


I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for
their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted
and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the kitchen
or
doing a load of laundry.

Why do you wait so late to clean the kitchen? I do it while the kids are
eating, or after they're done, or while they're in the tub.

Well, because usually as soon as we eat, we're off to some practice. We have
something going on every night but Tuesdays. And it's been me lately to do
the running around and my husband is outside doing yard work now that the
weather is nice so the kitchen remains a pig sty until bedtime. As far as
tub time, Xander gets one only if he's dirty (which, lately is every night
:P) and Kaylie takes showers on her own in the mornings now. Noah I squeeze
in when I can, which Im ashamed to say isn't very often lately, lol.

What do you
mean by *doing* laundry? I put laundry on in the AM, fold it at night
while
watching TV.

Yes, that's what I mean. Usually just folding it and putting it away.

I remember that, no more "nap when the baby naps", huh?

I wish!!


Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.

Can't you do the errands in the day?

I suppose I could, but we live in the middle of nowhere and it takes 30-40
minutes just to drive one way. By the time I get there and get shopping it's
nap time, or lunch time and we end up spending all day out just to do one
thing. We usually have designated nights for doing say, groceries, to fit it
in.



I wouldn't be too thrilled to not have a schedule and the baby is already
8
months old. I *have* to have a routine too.
Even though mine is about to change, I'll still have one.

Well, I guess I do have some kind of schedule but it's never consistent.
That and Im upset with myself for not being more diligent with sticking to
it. I am always rushed to get things done that I am the one who always gets
the short end of the stick. I need some sleep and/or down time before I burn
out, which I feel really really close to these days.

Kari

I cannot remember if you are a SAHM or WOHM. In either case, if you want a
schedule, have you considered Flylady.com? Yeah heay, everyone says that
and
it is not for everyone. But what I have found is that small things help.
Keeping on top of the kitchen rather than facing a big mess after dinner.
Having little routines that maximize the use of small chunks of time....
Then, when a big (ish) chunk of time comes, like the hour after yoru
baby's
bedtime, you can get a little more done, or you can chill. And STILL go to
bed earlier.

Just a thought.

S


I SAH, and I've checked out flylady before but maybe it's time to give it
another look. Thank you!

Kari

That's about par for the course around here, with kids
9, almost 7, and 11 months.

Good to know Im not alone there


Cram the housework earlier in the day. I know--not easy,
but it's the only way to be able to carve some of that evening
time out for yourself.

As much as I try to do that, it doesn't happen. When the baby naps, Im
showering, getting Noah ready for the day, starting laundry, picking up this
and that and before I know it, he's awake.


Hmm... that's earlier than mine get up. The boys
usually haul out around 6:30, and Genevieve at 7:00. What's
your DH doing? Is he able to help out with the morning scene?

He leaves for work at 6:15 so he sometimes takes the baby until he needs to
get dressed. But 9 times out of 10, as soon as Xander wakes, he wants to
nurse anyway so I just get up.

Can you make Kaylie more responsible for her own morning
routine?

She's pretty good but she's very lazy. She does get dressed, gets her
cereal, packs her backpack. But, she needs constant reminders or she would
never make it out the door in time. So, in a sense, she's doing her share
but has to be totally supervised to get it done.

You may need to trim Xander's naps a little so that
he sleeps in a little (if that works).

I'll try that, I just never thought of waking a sleeping baby



We get by largely by DH helping a lot and making use
of others to give us some couple time. Here's our basic
schedule:

Morning:
Don't hate me, but DH does most of the morning routine.
The boys get up around 6:30-7:00. They're responsible for
making their bed, getting dressed, making their own
breakfast, and brushing their teeth. I grab the baby when
she wakes and take care of her and referee any outbursts
from the boys while DH showers. DH takes the boys to the bus
stop.

Sounds like a great routine for you guys. I wish DH was home in the
mornings. It would help out so much!


Daytime:
Genevieve does one or two naps during the day, for
a total of 3-4 hours (two usually, but she's heading towards
just one nap). I try really hard to get as much done as
possible during the day. I do not spend all her waking time
playing with her. I shoot for having specific times that
are me concentrating 100 percent on playing with her, other
times while she's "helping" me do things around the house,
and other times while she plays nearby on her own while I
work. I do also make sure to get out a couple times a week,
even if it's only to run errands. I try to do the bulk of
the housework I do during the day, either during her naps
or while she's awake. Evenings are a lost cause for that
sort of thing, so daytime is much better. Obviously, you
have an older child at home to entertain as well, which
complicates things, but won't he be going off to school
next year?

Yep, he starts full day kindergarten in the fall. I cannot wait.

What about preschool?

Well, we do have a pre-K program with the school here but it's on a first
come, first serve basis. And also with income guidelines. We didn't meet the
cutoff to be put on the mailing list. As soon as all the spots were filled
with families who DID meet the cutoff, they wen't alphabetically. There were
no more openings when our name came up. I was NOT happy but they gave me a
preschool he could have attended but we didnt have the extra $$ for that
particular one.


After school:
When the boys get home from school, the busiest
part of the day starts. It's all homework, activities,
trying to get dinner going, etc. We eat out a lot, or
I do meals that either require little prep or can be
prepared mostly during the day before the kids get home.
DH helps when he gets home by ferrying kids around,
procuring dinner, or getting as many kids out of my hair
as possible. If Mom's home and available, she'll often
take the kids who don't have activities (e.g., she'll take
Colin and Genevieve while I take Adrian to his piano
lesson so that I can relax during his lesson instead of
wrangling kids). Often, both boys are in the same activities,
so I only need to wrangle Genevieve. On Fridays, when they
have back to back dance classes (4-5:15 and 5:15-6:45),
DH shows up by 5:15. One of us takes Colin out to dinner
and the other stays and then takes Adrian out when he's
done. We, uh, discuss who's going to take the baby ;-)
I used to always take her, but it's a more even distribution
now.

Bedtime:
DH does the bedtime routine and gets everyone
ready for bed and in bed. He hollers when G. is ready
and I go up and nurse her before bed. Generally, I've
done the housework I'm going to do before then, but
sometimes I have to play catchup. I use the evening
time to do work or to relax a little. I'm usually in
bed by 11-11:30, though I'm trying to move that a little
earlier because I'm too tired.

Weekends:
We each try to schedule some personal time during
the weekend and juggle it around things that have to be
done and getting kids to activities. We only have weekend
activities (aside from church) during soccer season. Frankly,
I hate it, but the boys love soccer and I think it's good
for them, so we suck it up. Usually DH handles soccer, but
this season especially we have a lot of overlap, so I have
to take one to practice or a game.

We also try very hard to regularly get out with just the
two of us, with either my parents or the babysitting co-op
babysitting.

I don't know if that helps at all, but that's what we do.
I'm tired (especially since I'm still doing nighttime
feedings), but not unmanageably so. I figure in another
six months, I'll be perkier. I guess the things that
stand out to me in your schedule are the early wakeup
(can you get him to sleep longer if you shorten some
naps?) and wondering whether your DH can pick up some
of the work.

Best wishes,
Ericka


Thank you for your input. I still do nighttime feedings too (twice a night)
so I think that adds to the sleepyness. 8 mos with no sleep, it starts to
wear you out, lol.

Kari

"Kari" wrote in message
...


My kids go to bed earlier The boys at 7 pm and Charlotte at 8 pm.
Starting at 6 months old even the baby has an earlier bedtime - 7 pm. I
would just get her/him when she/he woke up again to eat. But I had to
have
an earlier bedtime for all of them.

I'd love earlier bedtimes but unfortunately they have activities that run
late. Noah's soccer on Wed. is until 7:30, his martial arts class until 7
on
Thursdays. By the time we get home, they need a little bit to wind down.


I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for
their
ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im exhausted
and
dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent cleaning up the
kitchen
or
doing a load of laundry.

Why do you wait so late to clean the kitchen? I do it while the kids
are
eating, or after they're done, or while they're in the tub.

Well, because usually as soon as we eat, we're off to some practice. We
have
something going on every night but Tuesdays. And it's been me lately to do
the running around and my husband is outside doing yard work now that the
weather is nice so the kitchen remains a pig sty until bedtime. As far as
tub time, Xander gets one only if he's dirty (which, lately is every night
:P) and Kaylie takes showers on her own in the mornings now. Noah I
squeeze
in when I can, which Im ashamed to say isn't very often lately, lol.


Well, you probably do not want people micromanaging your schedule... But I
will anyway.

Maybe you could switch every other night, one night DH does his outdoor
chores, one night you do yours. Switch off kids slinging. That way both can
get SOME of the responsibilities done.

What do you
mean by *doing* laundry? I put laundry on in the AM, fold it at night
while
watching TV.

Yes, that's what I mean. Usually just folding it and putting it away.

I remember that, no more "nap when the baby naps", huh?

I wish!!


Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.

Can't you do the errands in the day?

I suppose I could, but we live in the middle of nowhere and it takes 30-40
minutes just to drive one way. By the time I get there and get shopping
it's
nap time, or lunch time and we end up spending all day out just to do one
thing. We usually have designated nights for doing say, groceries, to fit
it
in.



I am in the same boar. We have 1 day every other week which is town day.
Since the drive is ugly, we get a start right off the bat in the am. We will
do something fun first that can only be done in town. Then we hit the
grocery store.



I wouldn't be too thrilled to not have a schedule and the baby is
already
8
months old. I *have* to have a routine too.
Even though mine is about to change, I'll still have one.

Well, I guess I do have some kind of schedule but it's never consistent.
That and Im upset with myself for not being more diligent with sticking to
it. I am always rushed to get things done that I am the one who always
gets
the short end of the stick. I need some sleep and/or down time before I
burn
out, which I feel really really close to these days.

Kari



Good luck!

Kari wrote:
Im just wondering what the "norm" is around here for
bedtimes/waking times. I have 3 kids ages 8, 5 and 8 mos. The baby
goes to bed last - between 8:30 and 9:00. The middle child goes to
bed first at 8:00, my oldest at 8:30.

Sounds about the same as here, except that my older two go to bed at the
same time a little later than yours (between 8:30 and 9:00) and my 2yo is
usually down by 9:30. They all get up between 6:45 and 7:15 in the morning,
although the 2yo will occasionally sleep a little later.

I ask because even though this seems like enough sleep for them for
their ages, it's not for me! By the time I get the baby in bed, Im
exhausted and dont make it much past 10. That's usually spent
cleaning up the kitchen or doing a load of laundry.

Then, the baby is up at 5:30, sometimes around 5 for the day.

Well, I can see why you're not getting enough sleep. Xander gets up *waaaay*
too early and you go to bed *waaaay* too late based on that. Frankly, around
here the procedure has always been that when the kids go to bed, we go to
bed within a half an hour at the most. Of course, my kids are on a bit later
schedule that yours, but if your youngest is getting up at 5:00 in the
morning, you really need to go to bed by 9:00 yourself to have a full 8
hours of sleep. Any later and you're shorting yourself. He won't get up that
early forever, BTW. He'll probably start sleeping an hour or two longer by
the time he's in the 1-2yo range, so you won't have to keep going to bed at
9:00 forever! But you should do it as long as he maintains this schedule of
early rising and forget about doing laundry at night or cleaning the kitchen
(which should be done right after dinner, IMO, with one parent watching the
kids while the other cleans or with the two of you working together and all
of you in the kitchen together, which is the way we do it).

Just
when he starts getting cranky and tired, I have to get the my
oldest up for school. So Xander has to wait for his nursing session
until I get Kaylie off to school (8:15)

One thing you might consider is nudging Xander's bedtime back by about a
half an hour or so. If you're lucky, he'll sleep an extra half an hour in
the morning and not be getting cranky by the time Kaylie has to get up and
ready for school.

And you might consider just holding off on all the laundry until the weekend
when you don't have quite as much to deal with otherwise and your husband
(presumably) is home. Before my nanny started doing the laundry, I always
just held all of mine and then did it on Saturday and Sunday.
--
Be well, Barbara
Mom to Sin (Vernon, 2), Misery (Aurora, 4), and the Rising Son (Julian, 6)

Aurora (in the bathroom with her dad)--"It looks like an elephant, Daddy."
Me (later)--"You should feel flattered."

All opinions expressed in this post are well-reasoned and insightful.
Needless to say, they are not those of my Internet Service Provider, its
other subscribers or lackeys. Anyone who says otherwise is itchin' for a
fight. -- with apologies to Michael Feldman

Hi --

My kids (6 and 8) go down between 8:20 and 9:00 (most of the time),
exact time depending upon how active the day was and stuff like that.
(At 8 months they tended to go down around 10pm ...) We don't have to
be out the door until 8:30 (or 9:00 if I drive them to school) so they
don't get up, or at least, they don't bother me, until 7:30 in the
morning. That gives us a solid hour for getting ready before we need to
go.

When my kids were about 10 months we started working on "sleeping in".
We put up the dark shades, and did LOTS of stuff with them before a
first feed in the morning. And lo, when they'd stopped waking from
hunger (because they'd dissociated waking with eating) they started
sleeping later.

I don't know if any of this helps ... hope it gives you some ideas,
though!

--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

Kari wrote:
And it's been me lately to do
the running around and my husband is outside doing yard work now that the
weather is nice

Seriously, what are 'yard chores'? Does this mean gardening? Because
gardening is something you do for pleasure, it's a hobby. DH takes the baby
for a morning at the weekend so I can do gardening, because I enjoy it. I
take her for an afternoon so he can play golf. : )

If it's a chore, or taking up ALL your time, just rip it all out and
concrete it over. If he's not there in the morning I think your husband
REALLY needs to be doing the bulk of the work at night. Would he be happy
if you did all the gardening in the evenings?!

Apologies in advance if I've completely misunderstood!

ROSIE
(UK)

"Kari" wrote in message news:tS2wc.52186

I'd love earlier bedtimes but unfortunately they have activities that run
late. Noah's soccer on Wed. is until 7:30, his martial arts class until 7
on
Thursdays. By the time we get home, they need a little bit to wind down.


Emily's soccer practice lasts till about 7:30. She still has to be in her
room by 8 when we get home... she's allowed to read books, or play Polly
Pocket quietly, but she has to be in her room. It helps me get the last
minute night time stuff done.




Well, because usually as soon as we eat, we're off to some practice. We
have
something going on every night but Tuesdays.

I know this won't go over well with some, but I cannot stress the value of
paper plates in my house They've cut down immensly on my dishwashing
time. I try to wash dishes as I use them during the day and at dinner so I
don't end up with a big sinkful at night.

What do you
mean by *doing* laundry? I put laundry on in the AM, fold it at night
while
watching TV.

Yes, that's what I mean. Usually just folding it and putting it away.


Do the kids help you put their laundry away? Each girl has a basket here,
and with the exception of Katie, they have to help me put their clothes
away. That was hard for me at first because I was very anal about the way I
kept their dressers, but now that they dress themselves, I don't have much
control anyway.

Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.

Can't you do the errands in the day?

I suppose I could, but we live in the middle of nowhere and it takes 30-40
minutes just to drive one way. By the time I get there and get shopping
it's
nap time, or lunch time and we end up spending all day out just to do one
thing. We usually have designated nights for doing say, groceries, to fit
it
in.



I usually try to have an errand day during the week. We live in the middle
of nowhere too, so I designate one day a week as my "drive into the city
day." We usually end up eating lunch out and napping in the car, but I get
a lot done. More than when I tried to do stupid little things one at a
time.



I wouldn't be too thrilled to not have a schedule and the baby is
already
8
months old. I *have* to have a routine too.
Even though mine is about to change, I'll still have one.

Well, I guess I do have some kind of schedule but it's never consistent.
That and Im upset with myself for not being more diligent with sticking to
it. I am always rushed to get things done that I am the one who always
gets
the short end of the stick. I need some sleep and/or down time before I
burn
out, which I feel really really close to these days.

Kari


Could you get the kids to have quiet time in their rooms after their evening
activities? At least then you'd be alone, or with just the baby...

Denise

"Denise Anderson" wrote in message
...

"Kari" wrote in message news:tS2wc.52186

I'd love earlier bedtimes but unfortunately they have activities that
run
late. Noah's soccer on Wed. is until 7:30, his martial arts class until
7
on
Thursdays. By the time we get home, they need a little bit to wind down.


Emily's soccer practice lasts till about 7:30. She still has to be in her
room by 8 when we get home... she's allowed to read books, or play Polly
Pocket quietly, but she has to be in her room. It helps me get the last
minute night time stuff done.




Well, because usually as soon as we eat, we're off to some practice. We
have
something going on every night but Tuesdays.

I know this won't go over well with some, but I cannot stress the value of
paper plates in my house They've cut down immensly on my dishwashing
time. I try to wash dishes as I use them during the day and at dinner so
I
don't end up with a big sinkful at night.


I could never do that. The environmental impact... Besides I have an
environmental activist buddy who would chant "Landfill, Landfill, Landfill"
at me. I accidentally bought a yogurt one time with one of the attached
spoons. She had a cow.


What do you
mean by *doing* laundry? I put laundry on in the AM, fold it at night
while
watching TV.

Yes, that's what I mean. Usually just folding it and putting it away.


Do the kids help you put their laundry away? Each girl has a basket here,
and with the exception of Katie, they have to help me put their clothes
away. That was hard for me at first because I was very anal about the way
I
kept their dressers, but now that they dress themselves, I don't have much
control anyway.

Evenings are shot with practices, shopping, errands, etc.

Can't you do the errands in the day?

I suppose I could, but we live in the middle of nowhere and it takes
30-40
minutes just to drive one way. By the time I get there and get shopping
it's
nap time, or lunch time and we end up spending all day out just to do
one
thing. We usually have designated nights for doing say, groceries, to
fit
it
in.



I usually try to have an errand day during the week. We live in the
middle
of nowhere too, so I designate one day a week as my "drive into the city
day." We usually end up eating lunch out and napping in the car, but I
get
a lot done. More than when I tried to do stupid little things one at a
time.



I wouldn't be too thrilled to not have a schedule and the baby is
already
8
months old. I *have* to have a routine too.
Even though mine is about to change, I'll still have one.

Well, I guess I do have some kind of schedule but it's never consistent.
That and Im upset with myself for not being more diligent with sticking
to
it. I am always rushed to get things done that I am the one who always
gets
the short end of the stick. I need some sleep and/or down time before I
burn
out, which I feel really really close to these days.

Kari


Could you get the kids to have quiet time in their rooms after their
evening
activities? At least then you'd be alone, or with just the baby...

Denise

I know this won't go over well with some, but I cannot stress the value of
paper plates in my house They've cut down immensly on my dishwashing
time.

But plates are the easy part! Now, if anyone would invent paper frying pans, I
might be tempted ...

--Helen