If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#21
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
Quoting Dagny's post underneath mine:
Sue writes: Well this is going to sound really snotty, but I really don't see the point of these posts and I am really tired of them. Parenting is hard enough to deal with and people have reasons, sometimes very valid reasons for doing what they do. You Dagny, and the other holier than thous don't know what goes on in a family to know the purpose of why they do things. There are much worse things to do to a baby than have them content and riding in a stroller. And just to turn the tables a little, I am quoting your post here and in your sleep deprivation post: I don't know why the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I hope they all have bad backs and "Meg (4 mos) has gone from nursing every 2-3 hours at night to one, about 4 hour sleep and then up every hour to nurse back to sleep thereafter. Let me know if there's something I can do, from your experience, to get more sleep without being disrespectful of her needs? I don't mind nursing every 2-3 hours but every hour on the hour after 2am is a little much." How come you don't like your baby enough to feed her the every 2-3 hours at night when she is hungry and when she wants? -- Sue (mom to three girls) I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World... |
#22
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
I carried my first 2 kids everywhere, but cant with this one.
"Nikki" wrote in message ... nina wrote: Better to use what you need judiciously than to poopoo it all together. For a baby to be more spoiled and attended to than mine, it would have to live in a pouch on its mothers tummy. I hate to see a baby crying in a seat or what not but I don't have a problem seeing a baby in a stroller or seat at the mall or grocery store or what not. If the baby is content I don't really see the problem. I lugged mine around in my arms because they wouldn't sit in the darn seat. Luke would if he fell asleep in the car first. I'd have used one had it worked out and not felt one bit guilty about it :-) -- Nikki Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2) |
#23
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
Anne Rogers wibbled
Dagny, and others expressing similar opinions, you don't see us spending hours playing 'horses' on my knee, or his having his afternoon and evening naps on my lap (for up to two hours at a time), or our sharing a bath, or cosleeping for about five hours out of every night. You can't make a single judgement about how much I *like* my child from the fact that I have been completely unable to carry him for any distance for several months now, since he's 27" and 20lb (and a wriggler) and my back just won't cope with that. You can't see the mess infection made of my c-section wound, or imagine just how painful carrying him was (during a heatwave) when he was small. If you're happy feeling depressed about other babies based solely on their method of transportation, bully for you. But don't call Child Services or the NSPCC just yet, eh? I think you are jumping on Dagny too much, she was commenting about a situation with people she knew and it made her sad, the outward signs might be the outward signs of other parenting styles, but they mean very different things. Some people do seem to have a I must not hold the baby too much instinct, others have an I must meet the babies needs instinct, this is what you are doing, I understand that's the intention but it's pretty damn insulting to be told that you must not *like* your baby much because for the short time a judgemental stranger sees you together the baby isn't being carried. Jac |
#24
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
"Anne Rogers" wrote in message ... I'll be one of these bad mothers. I have rheumatological problems and whilst I'll carry just the baby happily in a sling around the house (the best option for me), any venturing outside the house will be in the pram, the baby bucket probably will go into stores and I'm pretty much praying that a carry cot is acceptably to any future children for naps, for the sake of my own health. I don't know what issues you have, but are you sure carrying a baby in a bucket would help? In my situation, I use the car seat in the shopping cart at the stores. So I am not carrying her in the seat as a carrier, just using it so I can shop. Im not one of the ones who you see walking thru the mall or store with the baby in the carrier swinging,,husband at my side. THAT bugs me. I |
#25
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
I don't know what issues you have, but are you sure carrying a baby in a
bucket would help? In my situation, I use the car seat in the shopping cart at the stores. So I am not carrying her in the seat as a carrier, just using it so I can shop. Im not one of the ones who you see walking thru the mall or store with the baby in the carrier swinging,,husband at my side. THAT bugs me. I used to do that too (down ds prefers to sit in the normal seat), I have shopped with a carrier and it has been fine, but I always found it a struggle to reach for things etc. car seat in the trolley doesn't solve the problem though as the trolley's are really evil to push at every store I go to, I end up with a sore back and knees whatever I do. It's tricky, it seems whatever shopping trolley I use I am fighting with it, my only solution is to when I shop do absolutely huge ones to avoid having to do it again for as long as possible. |
#26
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
Jacqui was all, like:
[...] Seconded. I do have a bad back, but even without, the combination of residual SPD and a c-section would have precluded my carrying T far as a newborn, I had/have SPD, though not a c-section, and have a bad back, RA, and I've had one of my knees put back together after an accident (lots of hardware, bone and tendon grafts, etc.), and I have not discovered a way to manage a stroller on stairs, and do not have a car, so I'd be lost without a sling. It's tough going with a sling, going up stairs on the subway, but it's the only way I can get around right now, and I do it twice a day at least, 5 or more days a week. So, obviously, MMV. I'm not disagreeing with the rest of your post, I just can't imagine how much harder my life would be without a sling. |
#27
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
zeldabee wibbled
Jacqui was all, like: [...] Seconded. I do have a bad back, but even without, the combination of residual SPD and a c-section would have precluded my carrying T far as a newborn, I had/have SPD, though not a c-section, and have a bad back, RA, and I've had one of my knees put back together after an accident (lots of hardware, bone and tendon grafts, etc.), Ouch! I tore the cartilage through a few years ago and although that healed without surgery it twinges now and again. I can't imagine the inconvenience of SPD and a knee injury too! and I have not discovered a way to manage a stroller on stairs, and do not have a car, so I'd be lost without a sling. It's tough going with a sling, going up stairs on the subway, but it's the only way I can get around right now, and I do it twice a day at least, 5 or more days a week. So, obviously, MMV. I'm not disagreeing with the rest of your post, I just can't imagine how much harder my life would be without a sling. I don't generally need to negotiate stairs. (I'm SAHM and we don't have a subway in this city.) I have had to do it, though, mostly for trains, and usually I carry T and the buggy separately, but I can only manage that for one flight or so. It was easier when I could manage him in the Bjorn but I haven't been able to do that for at least three months now. I certainly couldn't do it for two flights, so I tend to ask friendly passersby for help if I need to do it. I asked the physio's advice about a sling when he 'outgrew' the Bjorn for my purposes (DH still uses it) and was told that for me it would not be a good option - carrying him in any position for longer than five minutes puts too much strain on my back* now, and I wind up immobile for the next day or two. Which isn't to say it isn't great for other people, and I'm pleased it works for you. *I got through his christening last week on painkillers and rushing out immediately afterwards, when DH had the baby, to lie flat on the floor in a back room. So I missed 80% of the service in order to hold my baby for the important bit. :-( Jac |
#28
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
nina wrote:
My back hasnt recovered from pregnancy and csection, and Im still having sciatica. WhenI get really tired, my legs hurt and I get "stumbly". For my baby's sake I use the car seat in the shopping cart whenever possible, because I cant afford for my back or legs to get weak and have problems when I need to pick her up or carry her/ Nina, Don't feel too bad about this. I think you sound like a very conscientious mom and I'm sure your baby will grow up and realize this. Nowadays what bothers me is parents who neglect their children or just have them for very selfish reasons. Hope your back feels better. One thing I learned from my sister when pregnant and nursing was EAT A LOT OF PROTEIN. I started eating a lot of chicken breasts & a lot of turkey and my hair stopped falling out and my body felt SO much better. All the aches and pains went away. I found out that I had shrunk an inch in height and my husband had me get on a healthier diets. It's kinda like South Beach and a lot of the aches and pains have gone away. Just a thought. |
#29
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
"Buzzy Bee" wrote in message ... On Mon, 01 Mar 2004 14:46:06 GMT, "Dagny" wrote: but then again I might just have mucked up the snipping as usual! Nope, this absolutely depresses me too. Strollers for little babies and baby buckets (car seats carried into stores) depress me. I don't know why the mom doesn't like her kid enough to put her in a sling/carrier. I hope they all have bad backs. That would describe me--after DS hit 20 pounds as a four-monther. Carrying him in the sling got me square in the back, so I retired it. After he learned to sit up, I have hip-carried him as much as possible, but he still spends a lot of time sitting in the shopping cart or sled or stroller if we are on a long walk. When he was littler I also used a baby bucket at times, but DS still got held more than stored. :-) Beth |
#30
|
|||
|
|||
Bleak over a baby (semi-OT)
"Beth" wrote in message ... Hi, Just thought I'd unload about the gathering I went to the other day. A friend's 2-month-old was there and I came away feeling so odd after seeing how he was handled. He was asleep in a bouncy seat when we got there, then was laid on a blanket after a few minutes' dandling when he awoke. From there Grandma held him for ten minutes and then he was placed in a swing for an hour or so. After some cooing and hinting, I got to feed him a bottle, and he was so into it, rolling his eyes back and sucking down the formula so lustily that my own milk let down. Made me laugh. But at the same time I felt so sad for him, sucking on plastic, cradled by plastic. I changed his diaper after that and it was sodden with yellow urine. Now I know for a fact that this baby was planned, wanted, and his folks love him deeply. He's a happy little fellow who smiles promiscuously! I just can't help but feel a little bleak about all the faux stuff. I fed thousands of bottles to my niece and nephews and figured out all kinds of ingenious ways to keep them out of my teenaged hair, but after having my own son and raising him without many props, things seem different. Do any of you feel this way about other parenting styles, or am I just particularly insufferable? :-) Beth I tried carrying my baby into a shop the other day in a slingy thing and had to leave because he was too heavy! I'm not a weak person and he's only four months old. Thank goodness for buggys (which he loves being in BTW). As a newborn he wouldn't sleep well anywhere during the day, including in our arms. Thank goodness for the swing. Some babies like to lie on the ground and kick around, mine certainly did. Don't feel sad for your friends baby. If he was unhappy he'd cry. He probably has loads of cuddles when she's not trying to entertain visitors. Differnet parenting styles aren't necessarily wrong they are just different. Judy |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
misc.kids FAQ on Prenatal Testing - Overview and Personal Stories | [email protected] | Pregnancy | 1 | April 17th 04 12:52 PM |
misc.kids FAQ on the Pregnancy AFP Screen and the Triple Screen | [email protected] | Pregnancy | 0 | January 16th 04 09:15 AM |
Baby item recs againhigh chair etc | Jill | Pregnancy | 11 | January 13th 04 05:17 PM |
Question about sling/attachment parenting (long, sorry) | Vijay | Pregnancy | 23 | November 11th 03 08:12 AM |