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preschool question -- kinda long!



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 5th 04, 06:35 PM
Janette
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Default preschool question -- kinda long!

My son, Logan, is currently in preschool 2 mornings a week. About a month
into the year, he quit talking to his teacher or to any of the other kids in
his class. He will still participate and do the activities, etc but he will
not talk at all the entire 2 1/2 hours he is there. He won't even sing the
songs when they go to music...but he will sure come home and sing them
around the house all day long! I have talked to his teacher about what
might have happened to cause him to "shut down" at school...she doesn't know
and Logan doesn't say anything negative about school...he loves it and talks
great things about his teacher! His teacher just says he must not be ready
to express his self and open up to people...he will in his own time.
Another thing about Logan (and his preschool teacher has confirmed this), is
he is very advanced for being 3 (almost 4). While the other kids are
learning their shapes, colors, and letters....he is bored. He has known his
alphabet and all that other stuff since he was 2...he can currently spell
about 8 words and tell time on a digital clock! My thoughts were, he was
just bored at preschool so he has withdrawn. However, while Logan is "book
smart", he is just where he needs to be socially.

My DH and I have thought about moving him preschools next year to see if a
totally new environment will help him begin talking and be outgoing again at
school. When I talked to his current preschool teacher about this, she said
that she felt this would only make him regress even more. I had to wonder
if she was saying this truly out of concern for Logan, or just because she
wanted our money at her preschool for next year.

So...with all of that said. I wondered if any of you might deal with
preschoolers and/or have any of this same experience with your children.
I'm at a loss as to what would be best for Logan....move him to a new
preschool or keep him at the same one? Also...if we keep him at the same
one, would it be beneficial to stay with the same teacher or have a new one
for next year?

Thanks for reading if you made it this far...and for any advice you might be
able to give )

Janette
--
Mom to Logan Alexander 2-29-00
and Caleb Benjamin 2-11-02

remove word SPAM to reply


  #2  
Old February 5th 04, 06:44 PM
Sue
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Default preschool question -- kinda long!

I really can't help with a lot of your problem, only to say that my oldest
daughter goes to school with a boy (since kindergarten together) that hasn't
spoke at school. The family and school does get some flak about letting this
go on so long (he is in 5th grade now) and some feel that it is a power
struggle issue. I have no idea though what to make of it.

As far as what to do next year, have you thought about asking your son what
he would like to do? Good luck. )
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...

Janette wrote in message
news:99vUb.16116$Q_4.14174@okepread03...
My son, Logan, is currently in preschool 2 mornings a week. About a month
into the year, he quit talking to his teacher or to any of the other kids

in
his class. He will still participate and do the activities, etc but he

will
not talk at all the entire 2 1/2 hours he is there. He won't even sing

the
songs when they go to music...but he will sure come home and sing them
around the house all day long! I have talked to his teacher about what
might have happened to cause him to "shut down" at school...she doesn't

know
and Logan doesn't say anything negative about school...he loves it and

talks
great things about his teacher! His teacher just says he must not be

ready
to express his self and open up to people...he will in his own time.
Another thing about Logan (and his preschool teacher has confirmed this),

is
he is very advanced for being 3 (almost 4). While the other kids are
learning their shapes, colors, and letters....he is bored. He has known

his
alphabet and all that other stuff since he was 2...he can currently spell
about 8 words and tell time on a digital clock! My thoughts were, he was
just bored at preschool so he has withdrawn. However, while Logan is

"book
smart", he is just where he needs to be socially.

My DH and I have thought about moving him preschools next year to see if a
totally new environment will help him begin talking and be outgoing again

at
school. When I talked to his current preschool teacher about this, she

said
that she felt this would only make him regress even more. I had to wonder
if she was saying this truly out of concern for Logan, or just because she
wanted our money at her preschool for next year.

So...with all of that said. I wondered if any of you might deal with
preschoolers and/or have any of this same experience with your children.
I'm at a loss as to what would be best for Logan....move him to a new
preschool or keep him at the same one? Also...if we keep him at the same
one, would it be beneficial to stay with the same teacher or have a new

one
for next year?

Thanks for reading if you made it this far...and for any advice you might

be
able to give )

Janette
--
Mom to Logan Alexander 2-29-00
and Caleb Benjamin 2-11-02

remove word SPAM to reply




  #3  
Old February 5th 04, 07:01 PM
Ruth Baltopoulos
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Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!

"Janette" wrote:

: My son, Logan, is currently in preschool 2 mornings a
week. About a month
: into the year, he quit talking to his teacher or to any of
the other kids in
: his class. He will still participate and do the
activities, etc but he will
: not talk at all the entire 2 1/2 hours he is there. [...]

I think it is quite odd that he would totally shut down like
this, particularly if he enjoys the setting and the other
children. You mentioned that he shut down about one month
into the year, so has this been going on for about four
months? It seems that it might be a purposeful withdrawing
of something that he can control in this environment but I
am at a loss as to what or why. It is generally difficult
for children his age to be able to spend 2 1/2 hours without
speaking, even in a brand new setting where it might be more
natural for them to be reserved. I have one child in my
care now that took an unusual amount of time to adjust and
to the point where I was beginning to suspect a learning
challenge (since resolved -- just very reserved and
sheltered) but even at her quietest she would respond to
direct queries although never offering anything or engaging
in conversation with the others (probably for about three
weeks).

: My DH and I have thought about moving him preschools next
year to see if a
: totally new environment will help him begin talking and be
outgoing again at
: school. When I talked to his current preschool teacher
about this, she said
: that she felt this would only make him regress even more.
I had to wonder
: if she was saying this truly out of concern for Logan, or
just because she
: wanted our money at her preschool for next year.

Those little suspicions are what make it very difficult for
a child care professional to express an opinion in certain
areas without appearing self-serving

As you seem inclined to question the motivations of the
preschool teacher, I would suggest you speak with others in
the field of early childhood education and/or have your
child speak with an early intervention specialist to
determine if there is an area of concern.
: So...with all of that said. I wondered if any of you
might deal with
: preschoolers and/or have any of this same experience with
your children.
: I'm at a loss as to what would be best for Logan....move
him to a new
: preschool or keep him at the same one? Also...if we keep
him at the same
: one, would it be beneficial to stay with the same teacher
or have a new one
: for next year?

I think all of that is difficult to answer unless you have a
better handle on exactly why your son has clammed up
Making changes when shooting in the dark may not help
resolve anything, and could exacerbate the situation IMO.
From what you have written, the teacher must be sharing with
you that the child does not speak at all, and if her
motivations were impure, one might think that she would keep
this to herself as everything else seems to be going so
swimmingly. It would seem at odds if you, with no
indication from child or teacher (who seems to be openly
sharing in the concern) assume that the issue lies with her
simply because you cannot think of a better reason
--
Ruth B -- Remove your blinders to send email

Stewie (reading the Bible): "My my, what a thumping good
read, lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to
two by fours. I'll say, you won't find that in Winnie the
Pooh."



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  #4  
Old February 5th 04, 07:25 PM
Nikki
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!

Janette wrote:
My son, Logan, is currently in preschool 2 mornings a week. About a
month into the year, he quit talking to his teacher or to any of the
other kids in his class. He will still participate and do the
activities, etc but he will not talk at all the entire 2 1/2 hours he
is there.


Hmm. I think if I were you I'd call your school district and ask to talk to
your early childhood developmental specialist just to ease your mind.

On the one hand, my oldest son was in the new daycare for a *very* long time
before he would talk to anyone. He was a bit younger, he started out that
way, and he had some speech difficulties. He was quiet, but fine and
somewhat talkative, when he started preschool at age 4yr5mo. He had speech
therapy but no other interventions. On the other hand, your son doesn't
seem to have any speech difficulties, is a little older, and was talking at
one point but isn't talking now. I don't have any experience with that. I
wouldn't be *really* worried since he is fine at home, but I would want to
investigate a little. Do you have any occasion to be in other groups of
kids with him, or could you observe one of his preschool days to see if
things change when you are there? You could also arrange some play dates
with one class mate at your home and see if having that friend move back and
forth doesn't help. I can't see how that would hurt.

Good luck and post an update!

--
Nikki
Mama to Hunter (4) and Luke (2)


  #5  
Old February 5th 04, 08:32 PM
B&S
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Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!


x-no-archive: yes

"Janette" wrote in message
news:99vUb.16116$Q_4.14174@okepread03...
My son, Logan, is currently in preschool 2 mornings a week. About a month
into the year, he quit talking to his teacher or to any of the other kids

in
his class. He will still participate and do the activities, etc but he

will
not talk at all the entire 2 1/2 hours he is there. He won't even sing

the
songs when they go to music...but he will sure come home and sing them
around the house all day long! I have talked to his teacher about what
might have happened to cause him to "shut down" at school...she doesn't

know
and Logan doesn't say anything negative about school...he loves it and

talks
great things about his teacher! His teacher just says he must not be

ready
to express his self and open up to people...he will in his own time.
Another thing about Logan (and his preschool teacher has confirmed this),

is
he is very advanced for being 3 (almost 4). While the other kids are
learning their shapes, colors, and letters....he is bored. He has known

his
alphabet and all that other stuff since he was 2...he can currently spell
about 8 words and tell time on a digital clock! My thoughts were, he was
just bored at preschool so he has withdrawn. However, while Logan is

"book
smart", he is just where he needs to be socially.



Hi Janette,

I'm not sure if I got this right, but it seems Logan has no difficulty
expressing himself at home, is this correct? If so, have you asked him why
he won't talk or sing in school? I think he is old enough to understand
that the teacher and you are concerned that something at preschool might be
bothering him. If he repeatedly assures you that nothing is wrong, let him
know that it would make the teacher happy if he would talk to her, but I,
personally, wouldn't "force" the issue. If nothing is bothering him,
consider inviting some of the friends from preschool on a play date... I
assume he could probably tell you who he would like to become better friends
with. This seemed to help my daughter open up to at least some of the kids
in her preschool class. : )

My daughter was quite shy/quiet in preschool, to the point where her teacher
suggested I not send her to kindergarten when she was 5, thinking she
"wasn't ready". Academically she did very well (sounds like Logan), so I
ignored the preschool teacher's advice. She is now a junior in high school,
very active and successful in sports and other extra curricular activities,
and doing extremely well academically. But, she is still quiet around
people she doesn't know. I don't think that will ever change.

Good Luck!

Shelly

--
newsgroup address is munged
reply: randersons at lsol dot net


  #6  
Old February 6th 04, 12:39 AM
Janette
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!


"Sue" wrote in message
...

As far as what to do next year, have you thought about asking your son

what
he would like to do? Good luck. )
--
Sue (mom to three girls)
I'm Just a Raggedy Ann in a Barbie Doll World...


Yes, we have actually. I have also taken him with me to "tour" and
"interview" new preschools. He loves it all. He LOVES to learn new things.
He always wants to go to preschool and has all kinds of things he is going
to tell his teacher, etc, but once we get in that classroom door, he clams
up and doesn't talk again until I pick him up...then he talks about his day
all the way home. I've very frustrating for me because I don't understand
what is causing him to do this!

Thanks Sue!

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander 2-29-00
and Caleb Benjamin 2-11-02


  #7  
Old February 6th 04, 12:51 AM
Janette
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!

I think it is quite odd that he would totally shut down like
this, particularly if he enjoys the setting and the other
children. You mentioned that he shut down about one month
into the year, so has this been going on for about four
months?


Yes, it has been going on for awhile now. He can be very stubborn...and my
mom thinks this is a control issue with Logan. I'm not so sure what it is.
I agree with you that 2 1/2 hours of silence is difficult for this age. He
will nod yes or no to answers if the teachers asks him a question, but he
never verbally answers her and will never initiate conversation. He stays
to himself and does his own thing the entire time.

From what you have written, the teacher must be sharing with
you that the child does not speak at all, and if her
motivations were impure, one might think that she would keep
this to herself as everything else seems to be going so
swimmingly. It would seem at odds if you, with no
indication from child or teacher (who seems to be openly
sharing in the concern) assume that the issue lies with her
simply because you cannot think of a better reason


I truly don't know where the issue lies. Logan's teacher is very open with
me about this and she is not concerned about it at all, just wants me to be
informed that it's happening. She believes Logan is just not ready to
express himself yet, and once he's ready he will talk again. I say, if this
is the case, why would he start talking and then stop? I'm not trying to
place blame on the teacher at all...just mainly wondered what anyone in
early childhood, etc thought of her comment regarding if we changed
preschools, teachers etc for next year, it would cause him to regress even
more.

Thanks for your reply!!

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander 2-29-00
and Caleb Benjamin 2-11-02



  #8  
Old February 6th 04, 01:43 AM
Rosalie B.
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Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!

x-no-archive:yes


I had a similar thing happen but my dd was older, and I didn't find
out about it until afterwards. It was kindergarten, and according to
the teacher, dd sat there and did not participate at (including going
out for recess) or speak for several weeks. She was 5. I found out
about it at the first parent conference session, and she had stopped
by then. In her case, she pitched a fit about going, and I'd have to
lock her out of the house and tell her older sister to walk on without
her. Eventually, as dd#1 was disappearing, she'd run after her and go
on to school.

I had a new baby, which was one reason I didn't walk her to school, so
that might have been part of it.

grandma Rosalie
  #9  
Old February 6th 04, 01:56 AM
Janette
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Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!

Do you have any occasion to be in other groups of
kids with him, or could you observe one of his preschool days to see if
things change when you are there?


I have gone and helped in his classroom one time and there was no change in
Logan. Well, he would talk to me while I was there, but he still did not
talk to his teacher of the other kids. In the mornings when I drop him off,
Logan will talk to me and show me different things in his classroom, etc and
that allows his teacher to see that he can talk at least lol. In fact, he
was spelling "mom", "dad", "exit" (and other words) to me...and saying
letters randomly from carpet squares laying around, etc etc...and the
teacher was floored at how much more he knew than the other kids in his
class. When I told her he could tell him on a digital clock already, she
could not believe it. The kid LOVES to learn and is always asking to learn
new things lol.

Thanks Nikki!

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander 2-29-00
and Caleb Benjamin 2-11-02


  #10  
Old February 6th 04, 02:00 AM
Janette
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default preschool question -- kinda long!

Hi Janette,

I'm not sure if I got this right, but it seems Logan has no difficulty
expressing himself at home, is this correct? If so, have you asked him

why
he won't talk or sing in school?


That's correct. He talks all the way to school and all the way home...just
as soon as we get through his classroom doors, he clams up and will not talk
to his teacher or the other kids. We have asked him over and over and over
why...his reply every time is "I don't know...I just don't want to talk to
her". We have backed off of him (we being the teacher and me and dh)
regarding him needing to talk, etc because we realize that the more we push
the issue, the more tendency he will have to "regress" even more. He did
have one "banner" day 2 weeks ago when he just started talking to her while
doing his yearly preschool assessment and Logan told her it was fun to talk
to her and he was going to talk to her everyday the rest of the year,
etc...but the very next time he was there, it was back to the same ol' no
talking Logan. VERY odd to everyone.

My daughter was quite shy/quiet in preschool, to the point where her

teacher
suggested I not send her to kindergarten when she was 5, thinking she
"wasn't ready". Academically she did very well (sounds like Logan), so I
ignored the preschool teacher's advice. She is now a junior in high

school,
very active and successful in sports and other extra curricular

activities,
and doing extremely well academically. But, she is still quiet around
people she doesn't know. I don't think that will ever change.


That's very encouraging...thanks Shelly! DH and I were very shy when we
were younger too, but seem to be ok now...maybe it's just in our genes LOL

Janette
Mom to Logan Alexander 2-29-00
and Caleb Benjamin 2-11-02


 




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