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fidgety kids



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 28th 06, 03:27 AM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Chris
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Posts: 23
Default fidgety kids

Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The
story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't
sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of
his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like
each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete
strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone
agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be
explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats
standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc.
So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt
successfully with this problem?

Chris

  #2  
Old November 28th 06, 01:28 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Beth Kevles
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Posts: 269
Default fidgety kids


Hi --

We solved the problem of excess-fidgets for our son by removing milk
from his diet. It turned out he had an allergy to it (and to a couple
of other things). I'm not suggesting that your son has a milk allergy!
But fidgets to his particular degree sound as though they may have a
physical basis, possibly neurological, possibly other.

So ... I'd try several things. First, make sure he gets TONS of
exercise! Maybe go running in the morning before school? Take up
a martial art and practice daily? Whatever it takes to burn off some of
that excess energy.

Second, start tracking your son's diet. Try removing artificial colors
and flavors and maybe some common allergens (milk protein, egg, wheat)
to see if he becomes better able to sit still. It may take a couple of
weeks of dietary elimination to see results, but your son may, in fact,
be interested in trying it himself if you present things appropriately.

If that doesn't work, see a doctor. Even if you decide not to take up a
treatment plan, having a diagnosis (if there IS a diagnosis) will make
teachers more tolerant of his fidgety behavior. "Oh, he's got XXX, it
makes him fidget."

In the meantime, keep working with your son to keep his behavior under
control, at least enough so that it doesn't distract other students.

I hope this helps! Good luck,
--Beth Kevles

http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

  #3  
Old November 28th 06, 01:29 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
beachpeach
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Posts: 4
Default fidgety kids


Chris wrote:
Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The
story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't
sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of
his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like
each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete
strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone
agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be
explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats
standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc.
So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt
successfully with this problem?

Chris


Have you discussed this issue with his physician? Have you sought
counseling? School counselor? I'd first talk to pediatrician and see
if there might be some medical reason. If there are none, I'd seek
counseling to see if there are any mental health issues that need
addressing. I'd also think about taking my child to a
naturopath/homeopath to see if there are any natural remedies that
might help. There's also the possibility that it will go away as he
gets older...or au contraire, it might escalate. Is he in sports?
Music? Does he have appropriate outlets for what sounds like nervous
energy? Is his life balanced? It could be as simply as few sessions
and lessons in behavior modification or it could be something more
complicated.

Good luck!

  #4  
Old November 28th 06, 03:16 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Penny Gaines
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Posts: 328
Default fidgety kids

Chris wrote:
Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The
story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't
sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of
his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like
each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete
strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone
agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be
explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats
standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc.
So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt
successfully with this problem?


How much physical exercise does he do? And what's his diet like?

I've noticed that boys that age get very fidgety if their diet
has too much high GI foods (basically sugary food) or if they
hadn't been physically active.

The physical activity doesn't have to be formal exercise programs, just
walking from the school bus seems to help.

--
Penny Gaines
UK mum to three

  #5  
Old November 29th 06, 06:09 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 23
Default fidgety kids


Penny Gaines wrote:

How much physical exercise does he do? And what's his diet like?



He is pretty active, but his diet is not very good. I guess I haven't
made that connection before, but everyone responding here has brought
it up. I'll have to take a closer look at both the variety of what he
eats and his reactions to certain foods. I guess allergies could be
involved, although he shows absolutely no other symptoms of food
allergies.

Chris

  #6  
Old November 29th 06, 06:20 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10
Default fidgety kids


Chris wrote:
Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The
story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't
sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of
his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like
each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete
strategies for dealing with the issue.


In addition to looking into potential causes and ways to minimize his
fidgetiness, there are products a child can use in school to "focus"
their fidgetiness in more acceptable ways.

There are various kinds of "wiggle seat" that kids can put on their
chairs to allow them to wiggle a bit while still staying in their
chairs. (Here's a couple of examples:
http://www.sensoryedge.com/discositjr.html
http://www.amazon.com/Gymnic-MovinSi.../dp/B0007WBMHG)

Also he might benefit by having something small that he can keep in his
pocket and fidget with quietly out of sight. A smooth stone, or
something squishy, etc. http://www.therapyshoppe.com/product.php?cat=7
has a bunch of options but you may well have something in the house
already that can fill this need.

Good luck!

--Robyn

  #7  
Old November 30th 06, 08:12 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Paula
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Posts: 14
Default fidgety kids

On Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:09:33 EST, "Chris" wrote:

Penny Gaines wrote:

How much physical exercise does he do? And what's his diet like?



He is pretty active, but his diet is not very good. I guess I haven't
made that connection before, but everyone responding here has brought
it up. I'll have to take a closer look at both the variety of what he
eats and his reactions to certain foods. I guess allergies could be
involved, although he shows absolutely no other symptoms of food
allergies.


Has he been evaluated for ADHD? If he has ADHD, there are some things
that can be done behaviorally and others that can be done medically. A
diagnosis also helps when you want accommodations. For example, some
of the ADHD kids I work with are allowed to take "walk and talks" with
me when they are losing it. The teacher calls me when they are
getting really fidgety or whatever their particular impulsiveness or
activity results in and I take them out to walk around and have a pep
talk about how they can do it. The walking does more than the
talking, but the talking also reminds them that they just have to hang
in there until the next recess or whatever and that the adults at
school are rooting for them to succeed and not just always exasperated
with them when they can't manage.

I have also got permission from teachers to give ADHD kids some rubber
aliens that I got from Oriental Trading Company (online). They
stretch and give a lot of the same tactile satisfaction that fidgeting
with pencils and such does, but they are much quieter. Some schools
and teachers don't like that idea, though, so it is easier to at least
get them to try it if there is some diagnosis that requires them to
try to accommodate the child's issues. If an elimination diet doesn't
help (and you can research online how to do that), I'd skip the
pediatrician, who generally just knows a little about the most common
problems and most common ways to treat them, and go to a
neuropsychologist, who can test for neurological as well as behavioral
issues and get you the answers more quickly. Whatever is going on,
please get him help now. Hyperactive kids are more likely to end up
being kids who get into more serious trouble later. The research I
have seen notes the correlation without speaking to cause, but my work
leads me to believe that kids who want to be liked and approved of who
are constantly getting into trouble in school end up having issues
with school/education, authority figures, and adults in general that
lead them to turn away from what you want them involved in and toward
rebellion and peer groups you won't want your child involved with.
Early intervention can prevent that much easier and better than you
can fix it after any damage is done.


--
Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy,
so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay

  #8  
Old November 30th 06, 08:12 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Paula
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 14
Default fidgety kids

On Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:20:20 EST, wrote:

There are various kinds of "wiggle seat" that kids can put on their
chairs to allow them to wiggle a bit while still staying in their
chairs. (Here's a couple of examples:
http://www.sensoryedge.com/discositjr.html
http://www.amazon.com/Gymnic-MovinSi.../dp/B0007WBMHG)


This is another good example of something that kids in the schools I
work in have been able to use, but only when they have a diagnosis
that opens the door for educational accommodations. I've never seen a
parent be able to walk in with one and demand that the child be
allowed to use it unless they had an IEP or similar individualized
plan based on a diagnosis that supports the need for individualized
treatment.

--
Paula
"Anyway, other people are weird, but sometimes they have candy,
so it's best to try to get along with them." Joe Bay

  #9  
Old November 30th 06, 08:16 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Jeff
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 780
Default fidgety kids


"Chris" wrote in message
ups.com...
Just had our parent teacher conference for our 6th grade son. The
story is pretty much the same as every year--bright kid but he can't
sit still in class. Of course each year teachers are less tolerant of
his fidgeting, twirling the eraser, pencil tapping, etc. But, like
each year, the teachers seem unable to come up with any concrete
strategies for dealing with the issue. The kid is bored, everyone
agrees, but the level of fidgetiness seems beyond that which can be
explained by boredom alone. He doesn't sit still often--he eats
standing up most meals, he plays video games jumping up and down, etc.
So, the question becomes what to do in school? Has anyone dealt
successfully with this problem?


It sounds like he has two problems: 1) He is bored in class. You should talk
to his assistant principal or guidence counselor as well as his teachers.
His teachers should be giving him work that keeps from being bored. Or he
should be going to an advanced class.

2) Your son is not able to sit still. He should learn to join the family and
eat with the family sitting down. He should be recreational activities like
reading, listening to music and using the computer sitting down. His
recreational use of computers, TV watching and video games should be limited
to two hours a day (or even less). He should also be outside, playing with
his friends, riding his bike, etc., during daylight hours rather than be in
the house.

It sounds to me that you need to bring the school and teachers in on this
one. You probably want to set up a behavioral plan with the help of the
school's guidance counseler or AP, his teachers and himself. This plan
should have specific rewards as well as expectations.

Solving problem #1 should help problem #2, but there seperate problems.

Plus, if you live near a major university with a medical school, you might
make an appoint with some educational psychologists or pediatric
pyschologists for some additional ideas.

Jeff





Chris


  #10  
Old December 1st 06, 02:03 PM posted to misc.kids.moderated
Chris
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 23
Default fidgety kids


Jeff wrote:

It sounds like he has two problems: 1) He is bored in class. You should talk
to his assistant principal or guidence counselor as well as his teachers.
His teachers should be giving him work that keeps from being bored. Or he
should be going to an advanced class.


We have tried, repeatedly, to have him given more challenging work but
run into two problems. One, teachers just don't want to do it. Our
school really resists anything that looks like ability grouping. There
is no real mechanism, other than grade skipping available. He's
already young for his current grade, and I don't really want to have
him advanced. Plus, I don't think my son is the only one who could
benefit from more challenging work. Second, anytime that more
challenging work is given it is usually of the form "write about x."
My son really does not like to write, so that never works! Frankly,
what incentive do teachers have to tailor their lessons for him? None,
except goodwill.

During the conference his science teacher said, 'E's test scores were
94, 100, 104, and 98, but the other day when we were working on
something I looked over to see E just reading a book." So, to me, as a
parent I'm thinking what's the problem here? He clearly knows the
material and is choosing to make better use of his time! Why should
that bother the teacher? But she sees this as a sign of disrespect.


2) Your son is not able to sit still. He should learn to join the family and
eat with the family sitting down.


He joins us for dinner and is an "active" participant in the
conversation, he'd just rather not sit down! He loves to help cook and
prepare meals.

He should be recreational activities like
reading, listening to music and using the computer sitting down. His
recreational use of computers, TV watching and video games should be limited
to two hours a day (or even less). He should also be outside, playing with
his friends, riding his bike, etc., during daylight hours rather than be in
the house.

He is a little heavy on the video time, I'll admit. We have talked
about limiting that more or using it as a "reward" for good behavior.

But, he was elected to student council, was elected treasurer of the
6th grade chorus, has a lead role in the MS musical, is in chorus, band
and jazz band, is working on his black belt in TaeKwonDo, plays chess
in local and national tournaments, and takes piano lessons. He is
plenty busy. He doesn't really like too many sports, especially team
sports.

None of his teachers have ever suggested ADD as a diagnosis, but maybe
that's because he doesn't really get in trouble and when a teacher asks
him to stay on task he does, at least for a while. He does not enjoy
working in groups--he thinks they slow him down, and he takes a little
pride in being different or "quirky." Some teachers like this, others
don't.

I guess I'm torn between thinking he is just a bright kid who has
trouble controlling himself and thinking there are more serious
underlying problems.

It sounds to me that you need to bring the school and teachers in on this
one. You probably want to set up a behavioral plan with the help of the
school's guidance counseler or AP, his teachers and himself. This plan
should have specific rewards as well as expectations.

Solving problem #1 should help problem #2, but there seperate problems.

Plus, if you live near a major university with a medical school, you might
make an appoint with some educational psychologists or pediatric
pyschologists for some additional ideas.

Jeff





Chris


 




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