Wishing happy holidays not always a good idea

Sometimes you have to be careful. A co-worker told me a few days ago that
she is not in the Christmas spirit at all this year. She has a very good
reason -
her son committed suicide a few months ago. I really feel for her but what can
you do? When I left work on Wednesday I was very careful not to wish her
a merry Christmas and happy new year, I'm sure it just would have depressed
her more.

"JSTONE9352" wrote in message
...
Sometimes you have to be careful. A co-worker told me a few days ago that
she is not in the Christmas spirit at all this year. She has a very good
reason -
her son committed suicide a few months ago. I really feel for her but what
can
you do? When I left work on Wednesday I was very careful not to wish her
a merry Christmas and happy new year, I'm sure it just would have
depressed
her more.

It's difficult. My husband died suddenly in May, and I was getting tired of
co-workers wishing me a Happy Holiday (at least here, most of them know I'm
Jewish g) and asking 'So, what are you and the kids doing for the
holidays?' (Um, wishing it was last year and hoping we survive the day,
thanks very much. (If that sounds like a contradiction, my husband was
raised Methodist and he still wanted a Christmas tree and gifts, so we do
both holidays)

What I did appreciate was when it actually occurred to some of my co-workers
that the holidays are going to be very hard this year and would just say
something like 'I'll be thinking of you and hope you get through it'....or
something to that effect. It was nice to know that people were actually
*thinking* and not just operating on autopilot.

To me, the worst was when someone would ask, 'So, what do you want this
year?'

Gee, if they couldn't figure *that* out..........

So, to answer your question 'what can you do', just be respectful of her
loss.

Leah

"Leah Adezio" wrote in message
...

"JSTONE9352" wrote in message
...
Sometimes you have to be careful. A co-worker told me a few days ago
that
she is not in the Christmas spirit at all this year. She has a very
good
reason -
her son committed suicide a few months ago. I really feel for her but
what
can
you do? When I left work on Wednesday I was very careful not to wish
her
a merry Christmas and happy new year, I'm sure it just would have
depressed
her more.

It's difficult. My husband died suddenly in May, and I was getting tired
of
co-workers wishing me a Happy Holiday (at least here, most of them know
I'm
Jewish g) and asking 'So, what are you and the kids doing for the
holidays?' (Um, wishing it was last year and hoping we survive the day,
thanks very much. (If that sounds like a contradiction, my husband was
raised Methodist and he still wanted a Christmas tree and gifts, so we do
both holidays)

What I did appreciate was when it actually occurred to some of my
co-workers
that the holidays are going to be very hard this year and would just say
something like 'I'll be thinking of you and hope you get through it'....or
something to that effect. It was nice to know that people were actually
*thinking* and not just operating on autopilot.

To me, the worst was when someone would ask, 'So, what do you want this
year?'

Gee, if they couldn't figure *that* out..........

So, to answer your question 'what can you do', just be respectful of her
loss.

Leah



leah, do you think you ever get to a point where you dont want people seeing
you and the first thing on their mind is your loss? i guesss it is still
the first thing on your mind, so i guess that point is a long way away.

hope the new year brings in easier times for you

christine