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10 ways to be a better father



 
 
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  #1  
Old November 16th 03, 03:15 PM
Tara
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Default 10 ways to be a better father

I grew up without my father-the **** left before I was born. And I must say I
am 100% fine, completely well adjusted and have no problems with the situation.
All these "fatherless" kids will be fine, and if they're not the problem can't
simply be dumped at them having no father-that's a cop out.


"Robert Gautier"

...-elision for brevity-


Continue to strive to be a good role model for your children no
matter what the circumstances. Just try to be the best person you can
be, for their sake and put them above all else.


Sadly when it comes to divorce and separation over 40% of fathers will loose
all contact with their children.
This is not in anyway a deficiency in the fathers. Testimonies abound of how
they have tried against all odds to keep the contact going. Sadly the system
today is geared exclusively to extracting maintenance from them and it is
more often than not abused and manipulated by vindictive mothers for self
serving ends. Eventually this leads to total paternal alienation.

Have you guys not heard of the recent spiderman, batman& robin stunts in
London ?
What do you think they are all about ?

If one cares at all about children's welfare it is high time to start taking
an interest in fathers rights and not continue to dismiss and ridicule them.
In the Western world, one in three marriages end in divorce. Times that by
40% .... That is an awful lot of children who are growing up with no dad to
turn to. What effect do you think that is having on them and what impact
does it hold for future society?






  #2  
Old November 16th 03, 05:56 PM
Wendy
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Tara wrote:
I grew up without my father-the **** left before I was born. And I must say I
am 100% fine, completely well adjusted and have no problems with the situation.
All these "fatherless" kids will be fine, and if they're not the problem can't
simply be dumped at them having no father-that's a cop out.


May I suggest you take a logic course sometime?

Your nonsense aside, the thing that made me laugh was the father claiming
that it was a dad's rights group, not a dad's duties group. Hasn't anyone
noticed that rights and duties go hand-in-hand?

Wendy
  #3  
Old November 17th 03, 01:15 AM
Tara
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Default 10 ways to be a better father


Tara wrote:
I grew up without my father-the **** left before I was born. And I must say I
am 100% fine, completely well adjusted and have no problems with the situation.
All these "fatherless" kids will be fine, and if they're not the problem can't
simply be dumped at them having no father-that's a cop out.


May I suggest you take a logic course sometime?

Your nonsense aside, the thing that made me laugh was the father claiming
that it was a dad's rights group, not a dad's duties group. Hasn't anyone
noticed that rights and duties go hand-in-hand?

Wendy


And the relevance of that to what I said...? Sorry I forgot you Yanks can't
understand simple things.


  #4  
Old November 18th 03, 02:35 AM
Andre Lieven
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"David W." ) writes:
"ChrisScaife" wrote in
:

Finally someone who is talking sense :-)
You can't be a father if you can't be with your kids.
But what to do if your ex simply doesn't comply with contact order ?
Take her to court again and get another order for her to not comply
with ?


In many states, when you have a contact (visitation) order from the court,
you can call the police and ask them to enforce it.


Not all of them, and not one big one, that I was a witness to.

NY state will NOT enforce any visitation by use of the cops. My ex
wife had such an order, her first ex at one time, denied the court
ordered visitation, cops came, by her request, they spoke to the
guy, and then... *left*. They said " Take him to court. "

And, thats for a *woman* requesting their legal aid...

So if you are at your ex's
house at the court-appointed time, and she won't let the kids go, the
police can come out and "make" her let them go. I assume that means that
they give her the choice of letting you take the kids or going to jail.


Nope. The *judge* gives them that choice, once you go *back to family
court*...

In other states, the father is basically screwed if his ex won't comply.
And he'd better never be late with a child support payment!


Indeed. Fathers get responsibilities, but no rights.

Feminists, of course, call that " equality "...

*You* have to decide whether the kids are better off with the
confrontation, police, and time spent with you, or better off without all
the tension and conflict, and without time with you. In many ways, the
kids lose either way.


And, who's responsible for that ? Mommy and the sexist courts.

Its prejudice to blame those who *didn't make that come to pass*,
and to NOT balme those who... DID.

Andre


--
" I'm a man... But, I can change... If I have to... I guess. "
The Man Prayer, Red Green.
  #5  
Old November 18th 03, 05:45 PM
Andre Lieven
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"Byron Canfield" ) writes:
"Ignoramus4244" wrote in message
...
I wonder why this discussion has been hijacked by divorced fathers.


Because some divorced fathers harbor guilt over their own role in the
divorce, and so have an agenda to make the other side look completely to
blame, as though that somehow makes them blameless.


After all, a simple desire for equal *rights* can't ever be the case,
when its about men wanting something.

Congratulations: Your SNAG Pussy award will be mailed to you forthwith,
for your kowtowing to the Feminsed ideal of " *always* blame the
nearest *man* ! "

Plenty of fathers who are reading this thread are not divorced.


Then, who's stopping them from commenting ?

I am interested in how a married man can be a good father.


Point being, a divorced man can only be as much of a dad as the
mother *and the Feminised legal system* let him be...

Andre

--
" I'm a man... But, I can change... If I have to... I guess. "
The Man Prayer, Red Green.
  #8  
Old November 19th 03, 11:22 PM
Kathy Cole
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(I've overridden your followup a bit, to put misc.kids back in, as I
don't read the other groups.)


On Mon, 17 Nov 2003 17:53:34 -0600, "David W."
wrote:

In many states, when you have a contact (visitation) order from the
court, you can call the police and ask them to enforce it. So if you
are at your ex's house at the court-appointed time, and she won't let
the kids go, the police can come out and "make" her let them go. I
assume that means that they give her the choice of letting you take
the kids or going to jail.


Unfortunately, that's not what happens, at least not where I live.
Since family court is a civil court, the most the police would do when I
asked for help to enforce visitation was speak to my ex and encourage
him to return our son (which he opted not to do). The officers also saw
and spoke with our son to ensure he was okay. The officers were very
polite to me and encouraged me to contact the court for resolution,
because that was the limit of their authority.

*You* have to decide whether the kids are better off with the
confrontation, police, and time spent with you, or better off without
all the tension and conflict, and without time with you. In many ways,
the kids lose either way.


I hope there's a middle ground for most people, where non-custodial
parents (or joint-custodial parents in a disagreement over parenting
time, which was the root of my example above) can get to some resolution
other than fighting or walking away, but repetetive appearances in
family court to ask for aid in enforcing orders is neither an easy nor a
cheap process, and it's very wearing.
  #9  
Old November 20th 03, 01:29 AM
toto
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On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 17:22:26 -0500, Kathy Cole
wrote:

I hope there's a middle ground for most people, where non-custodial
parents (or joint-custodial parents in a disagreement over parenting
time, which was the root of my example above) can get to some resolution
other than fighting or walking away, but repetetive appearances in
family court to ask for aid in enforcing orders is neither an easy nor a
cheap process, and it's very wearing.


Why isn't there an arbitration process that can be used instead of
court appearances?


--
Dorothy

There is no sound, no cry in all the world
that can be heard unless someone listens ..

The Outer Limits
  #10  
Old November 20th 03, 01:53 AM
Bob
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toto wrote:
On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 17:22:26 -0500, Kathy Cole
wrote:


I hope there's a middle ground for most people, where non-custodial
parents (or joint-custodial parents in a disagreement over parenting
time, which was the root of my example above) can get to some resolution
other than fighting or walking away, but repetetive appearances in
family court to ask for aid in enforcing orders is neither an easy nor a
cheap process, and it's very wearing.



Why isn't there an arbitration process that can be used instead of
court appearances?
Dorothy



They ought to just give up violating the child's rights by forcing
custody to either parent.

Bob



 




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