Anxious mother, my first child will be going to college out of state

My kid is headed to California for school in the fall, and I am a wreck.
I'm trying my best to be supportive, but I can't get the images of all
those crazy earthquakes out of my mind! At the same time, I'm so proud of
him, all grown up and moving on to bigger and better things! I am going to
miss him.

I am wondering what other mothers have done in this situation. I don't want
to let him go, and once I do I know I will want to keep in touch with him
without him feeling like I'm constantly "checking up on him." UGH. Should I
make him write or call me daily? Do I need therapy?

MB

He's going to be busy at college. Maybe he'll have little time for
anything else.

Therapy? No. A therapist can't treat "normal."

MaryBeth wrote:
My kid is headed to California for school in the fall, and I am a wreck.
I'm trying my best to be supportive, but I can't get the images of all
those crazy earthquakes out of my mind! At the same time, I'm so proud of
him, all grown up and moving on to bigger and better things! I am going to
miss him.

I am wondering what other mothers have done in this situation. I don't want
to let him go, and once I do I know I will want to keep in touch with him
without him feeling like I'm constantly "checking up on him." UGH. Should I
make him write or call me daily? Do I need therapy?

MB

In article Uy8ee.6737$k01.5700@trnddc03,
says...
My kid is headed to California for school in the fall, and I am a wreck.
I'm trying my best to be supportive, but I can't get the images of all
those crazy earthquakes out of my mind! At the same time, I'm so proud of
him, all grown up and moving on to bigger and better things! I am going to
miss him.

I am wondering what other mothers have done in this situation. I don't want
to let him go, and once I do I know I will want to keep in touch with him
without him feeling like I'm constantly "checking up on him." UGH. Should I
make him write or call me daily? Do I need therapy?

MB


I agree with Bill, you don't need therapy. What you do need is a good
long-distance provider because I have a feeling you are going to be
making a lot of calls. I went through the same thing last year. My
telephone bills were enormous and my son felt like I was smothering him.
My advice try not to smother and let him experience everything he can at
college. Call him if you need to, if it is annoying to him believe me he
will tell you. And, if you don't have a good long-distance service, get
one. We switched to Onesuite (www.onesuite.com) this year and noticed a
big difference in costs. It also might be that my son told me I can't
call him more than once a week unless it is an emergency. Good luck on
your loss, but try to think that this is part of becoming an adult for
your son.

Not sure I agree with that Bill. You point me at someone "normal" and
I'll show you someone who has learned to look normal, while being a
person having to deal with insecurity, hostility, anger, pain, and all
the "normal" human emotions we all have.

My kids aren't yet near college age, but I do remember going to college
myself. My advice, DONT make him do anything. Mostly cause you can't
anymore. He's becoming an adult now. If you force your way into his
life, he might learn he can force you out. I didn't rely on my parents
for college money, so when they bugged me, I turned them off and
ignored them.

My advice? Send him letters in the mail and emails. Send him a
calling card - they were always useful. Be there for him as he learns
how to be an adult. He might need you, but he'll probably try his
hardest to not need you. That's part of what being an adult is.

P.S. I grew up in the midwest and live in San Francisco now. It's
funny to see californians fret about tornado's the way midwesterners
fret about earthquakes. Don't worry about earthquakes, they're alot of
hype.